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Wintertide Honey

Summary:

And maybe Tsukishima does have a crush on Hinata. So what?

It's not like he could ever do anything about it.

✰♡✰♡✰

In which Tsukishima suffers, Kageyama meddles, and Hinata is Hinata.

Notes:

wow a non-Semi-centric, non-SHIRATORIZAWA-centric fic? crazy, didn't realise I could do that lol

this work came from me challenging myself to write a 5-7k getting together fic in just 2 days, and also because we've been vibing in the groupchat and on Twitter over TsukiHina a lot recently. my word prompts for this were need, upset, and linen; I used none of them

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Kei is bone-tired. The training camp has been a draining experience each day, physically and socially. Sometimes with his own team he can get away with slacking off, but being around so many excitable players who aren’t used to his mannerisms and attitude means he can’t. They don’t let him.

Not to mention that Hinata is driving him up the wall. It’s amazing that someone so passionate and sweet (not that Kei’s ever really been on the receiving end of Hinata’s supposed sweetness) can be so annoying (Kei doesn’t know how he forgot about the obnoxiousness).

Whatever. He’s tired, and he’s hungry (despite already having eaten dinner), and he doesn’t ride a bike so it’s a considerable walk to the bus stop. A considerable walk alone , just Kei and his thoughts.

Despite his social fatigue, Kei wishes Yamaguchi were with him. At least then he’d have someone to pretend to ignore (not that he really pretended to ignore Yamaguchi that much, and besides, Yamaguchi knew he was only pretending). Instead, he really is alone in his own head, left to think about the second dinner he’ll eat once he gets home, how far he’s walked around, how much farther is the bus stop again? He’ll think about anything, really, as long as it isn’t Hinata.

Because Hinata is annoying , he’s energetic and passionate about volleyball, and he worries too much over Kei’s eating habits, and sometimes he’ll talk on and on until someone shuts him up, like he could go on for hours just discussing volleyball of all things, and Kei probably maybe sort of kind of has a crush on him. Possibly . Who can be certain about these things, really? Not Kei, that’s for sure. So he forces himself not to think about it, especially around Yamaguchi, because even after so many years of friendship, Kei is still convinced he can read his mind.

Kei supposes the reason Hinata’s presence at the camp is so annoying is because he’s too distracting (and, god damnit, Kei’s thinking about Hinata now even though he told himself he wouldn’t , but he’s kind of gone too far to turn back now, so it’s whatever. It’s whatever ). Kei will be fine practicing, maybe playing a two-on-two with Goshiki, and then Hinata will shout something or dart into his line of sight and he just can’t . He can’t get him out of his head.

“Stupid Hinata,” Kei grumbles under his breath as he kicks a rock on the road. His phone rings.

It’s Yamaguchi.

Tsukki! How was camp? How was Hinata? Are you on your way home?”

Yamaguchi’s voice is far too loud compared to the gentle quiet of the late evening, and Kei flinches from a combination of that and the mention of Hinata .

“I’m tired,” Kei says. “I’m walking to the bus stop to get home.” He does not answer Yamaguchi’s second question.

You sound tired ,” says Yamaguchi. “ Only two more days though! Then you have to deal with us again .” He snorts out a laugh, and Kei finds himself smiling. Things with Yamaguchi are easy and familiar. Simple. Good. “ I’ve been working on my serves a lot more, but so has everyone else. ...Kinoshita-san’s gotten pretty good .”

Kei snorts. “Don’t be too jealous, now,” he says. Normally he’d dig at Yamaguchi a little more, but his friend genuinely sounds a little upset by what he’s saying, so Kei leaves it at that.

I don’t mean to sound too much like Hinata ,” Yamaguchi says, and Kei wrinkles his nose at yet another mention of Hinata, “ but I do really think we have a chance. At the Spring Tournament, I mean. We’re all doing so much to get better, we just have to put everything together. Not to mention you and Kageyama doing so much work on your own .”

“Unwillingly,” Kei points out, although he will admit (privately) that he does let himself enjoy volleyball now. Putting in too much extra work is still out of the question, but it’s fun. Especially when he plays with his friends ( not that Hinata and Kageyama are his friends , but).

Yamaguchi snorts again. “Shut up, Tsukki.”

Kei grins.

✰♡✰♡✰

“Tsukishima!”

Kei wants to bury his face in his hands and never have to see the light again. This is too much. It’s too much.

He turns around slowly and makes a show of looking down to meet Hinata’s gaze (or pretend to meet his gaze. Really, he’s making himself stare at the space between Hinata’s eyes, because if he actually looks, he’ll get too caught up in his eyelashes or some stupid gay bullshit Kei really doesn’t have the mind to deal with right now).

Kei raises his eyebrows. “What.”

Hinata raises his arms over his head, stands on his tiptoes, and looms (as much as you can loom over someone taller than you) in a mock kill-block. “Help me with my blocks again!”

“No,” says Kei, partly because they’re on a break and meant to be stretching and resting, partly because time spent alone with Hinata, even just helping him with his blocks, is dangerous, partly because he doesn’t want to.

As expected, Hinata whines. “ Please ! I’ve barely done anything in four days!”

“And whose fault is that?” Kei sits down and stretches out one leg, pretends that he cares about stretching right now. “Go bother Goshiki about it, or something. Kindaichi.”

“Kindaichi’s busy,” Hinata says. Kei leans a little to the left to look past him, and sure enough, Kindaichi is watching Kunimi try to get out of a conversation with Goshiki. Every day, Kei hopes and prays that he looks nothing like Kindaichi watching Kunimi when he interacts with Hinata. “And so is Goshiki.”

Kei sighs, and this time does actually stretch and touch his toes. “Maybe you should have followed directions and stayed home, then.” Then, “Ask Hyakuzawa.”

Hinata sits down and Kei has to consciously stop himself from screaming in frustration. “He’s busy with Washijou-sensei. Please , Tsukishima-”

But then one of the Shiratorizawa first years helping out comes over and retrieves Hinata for something important like laundry or filling water bottles and Kei is once again left in peace. He checks that nobody’s looking before he lowers his face to his hands, squeezes his eyes shut, and opens his mouth in a silent scream.

✰♡✰♡✰

Kei first really realised that he had a crush on Hinata Shouyou in the middle of their match against Shiratorizawa. There were, of course, a million little signs leading up to that point, his obsession with how “ annoying ” Hinata was being but one of them, but the definitive, “oh, shit” moment was in the middle of the match.

It wasn’t something special . He didn’t look up at Hinata mid-jump during his and Kageyama’s freak quick and feel his world stop spinning, nothing like that. It was a mandated water break and Kei had watched a drop of water roll down Hinata’s chin and down his neck, and something about it just flipped that switch in his brain.

Really ? Kei remembers thinking. Him ?

At least playing the rest of the match had taken his mind off the realisation enough where it didn’t actually impact his playing. After, though, on the ride back to school from their post-game meal, Kei had watched Hinata fall asleep and drool on Kageyama’s shoulder and he couldn’t find it in himself to call them gross . Months later, now, he’ll admit that he was feeling jealous, but in the moment he was confused and upset, but also tired, so very tired.

The crush is inconvenient, and has been pushed away from the front of Kei’s mind as much as possible ever since. He’s done an excellent job, too, of not indulging and keeping it a secret from Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi is the biggest threat to Kei’s sanity when it comes to Hinata.

But apparently in all his work at being a snark to Hinata and pretending to still absolutely hate him around Yamaguchi, he’d neglected to play his act up to Kageyama’s standards as well.

“You should tell Hinata that you like him,” Kageyama had said a week ago when they’d bumped into each other in the hall, each going their own way for lunch.

Kei had to stop and stare for a moment before speaking. “Excuse me?”

“He won’t figure it out if you don’t say anything,” Kageyama said, as though Kei hadn’t questioned him at all, “so you should just be up front with him about it.”

What ? Are you ill?” Kei had asked, but he knew his voice was coming out funny.

Kageyama did not care. He had plowed on ahead, said, “I’m perfectly fine. He won’t wait forever. ...Probably.” Then he’d just walked off, hadn’t even waited for a response.

These guys switch gears so fast, Kei has to admit that sometimes he struggles to keep up with them. He’d been tempted to call after Kageyama and argue, convince him somehow that he’s wrong, he misread the situation, Kei doesn’t like Hinata, how could he? And besides, why would he ever confess? Kei is perfectly content just waiting this out.

Even if he wanted to, how could he? As far as Hinata is concerned, Kei is annoying, hates his absolutely favourite thing in the world (volleyball. Kei does not hate volleyball, he just has a very, very complicated relationship with it. Not that Hinata would understand that, probably.), and thinks that Hinata’s no better than the dirt on the sole of his shoe. None of this is true, of course (well, maybe Kei is annoying sometimes, but at least he does that on purpose, unlike some people), but confessing is out of the question. Completely out of the question.

Still, Kageyama’s words have stuck with Kei since, and he’s honestly spent quite a large sum of his time at Shiratorizawa avoiding Hinata more than usual, even talking to Goshiki during their breaks to avoid conversation.

This is no way to live , Kei thinks, but he does what he has to do.

✰♡✰♡✰

The final night of the training camp, it’s snowing pretty badly. Kei stays a little late practicing with Goshiki and the two from Seijoh just to wait and see if the snow eases up, but it doesn’t.

At the end of the evening, Koganegawa insists on them all exchanging emails, which Kei reluctantly agrees to. Kindaichi asks about Kageyama in a very awkward way and Kunimi pushes him away. Kei doesn’t think about it.

He’ll admit, albeit only privately, that he’ll miss this camp, miss seeing these kids every day. Even if they are mostly annoying, even if Kunimi is the only truly sensible person other than Kei himself who was invited. It’s been fun to play with and against people he usually doesn’t get the opportunity to, and he’s sure he’s learned a lot of useful stuff here. Like Yamaguchi said, maybe they really do have a chance at the Spring Tournament.

They clean up and change, and when Kei leaves the gym, he finds Hinata, who supposedly left ten minutes ago, pacing beneath the overhand. He’s shivering.

“Shrimpy.” Kei forces his brows down into a scowl. “Did you seriously not bring a proper coat?”

Hinata spins around to face Kei, looking flustered. Maybe that’s just the cold, though. “It was warm this morning, Stupidshima, otherwise I would have!”

And, sure, it was warm this morning, warm enough where Kei had stuffed his thick coat into his bag and had just worn his uniform jacket out on his way to school, but the weather report had said there would be heavy snowfall in the late afternoon and late into the night. Surely Hinata had seen that. Surely…

Surely not. Kei doesn’t know what he expected, really.

“GUH!” Hinata does that ( cute ) thing where he clenches his eyes shut, screws up his face, and messes his hands roughly through his hair in frustration. “I can’t ride my bike in this! And I don’t have the money for the bus…”

This kid , Kei thinks, exasperated. He swears, Hinata has the worst foresight of anyone in Japan.

“Tsukki-”

“No,” says Kei before Hinata can even ask something. It’s entirely out of habit, he swears.

“You didn’t even hear what I had to say!” Hinata shouts. “ Please will you pay my bus fare just to get back to school, the roads should be clear from there to my house and I can ride my bike home. I’ll pay you back tomorrow, I promise!”

Kei bites the inside of his lower lip, careful not to let it show on his face. He also tries not to think about how they have an audience now, Kindaichi and Kunimi watching in the doorway bundled up in their own winter gear.

He makes a show of rolling his eyes, looking exasperated, annoyed, like this is the most inconvenient thing, and says, “Fine. Pay me back tomorrow .”

Hinata looks like he might cry. “Tsukki…”

“Stop calling me that.” Kei tucks his gloved hands into the pockets of his coat. “Let’s go.”

He turns and starts walking away, pretends he can’t feel Kindaichi and Kunimi’s eyes boring curiously into the back of his head. He doesn’t wait to see if Hinata actually follows him, either, but then Hinata’s bare hand wraps around his elbow, and Kei really shouldn’t be so flustered over that, not when there’s three layers of clothing between their skin, but he’s certain he can feel Hinata’s body heat through it all. The would-be points of contact are warm and tingle on Kei’s arm, like he’s touching the sun.

Kei takes a deep breath before pulling his arm out of Hinata’s grasp.

“Slow down,” Hinata says. “Your legs are too long.”

“Just grow some more, then,” Kei quips. He doesn’t look at Hinata but he can feel his glare.

“Mean, Tsukishima,” Hinata grumbles. “I would if I could.”

“I’m sure,” says Kei.

The rest of the walk to the bus stop is in silence. Hinata doesn’t even complain, probably because he’s too cold. Kei does feel bad about that, really, but he isn’t about to offer Hinata his coat. That would be too obvious. Or maybe not, but Kei’s been anxious ever since his half-conversation with Kageyama.

They only have to wait at the stop for ten minutes, and Kei does pay for both of them. Hinata thanks him again as they walk down the aisle to sit down and stuffs his bike beneath the seats. There’s almost nobody else on the bus at this hour, not even adults coming back late from work or heading to a bar. Kei’s kind of glad it’s just them.

He forgets, though, how long the ride back to Karasuno really is. He’s tired, he’s hungry, and Hinata must be, too, because he’s slouching to the side and falling asleep. His head bumps Kei’s shoulder and he immediately shoots straight up, apologising profusely. It’s late. Kei feels bad that he’s somehow made Hinata this anxious around him (but that’s expected, isn’t it, when he’s been nothing but a dick since they met. Kei tells himself it’s fine. Maybe they’ll become friends and Hinata will somehow understand Kei’s unspoken apology and Kei will get over this stupid crush).

Ten minutes later, Hinata starts drifting off again, and when his head comes to a rest on Kei’s shoulder, he’s actually, truly asleep.

Kei stiffens. This was not part of the deal when he agreed to pay Hinata’s bus fare for the night.

Hinata’s breathing is slow and even. When he exhales, it fans out softly on the small exposed part of Kei’s neck and Kei has to suppress a shiver. His face feels so hot, and his heart is beating so fast. He feels like a character in a shoujo manga.

Hinata sleeps with his mouth slightly open. His eyelashes are flush against the crest of his cheeks and he looks more at peace than Kei’s ever seen him before. His hands are settled gently in his lap, and in a lapse of judgement, perhaps from the complete lack of an audience, Kei takes one of them in his own.

Hinata’s hands are so small compared to Kei’s own. Kei wishes he’d taken his gloves off, but it’s too late now, feels like if he took a moment to remove them then he wouldn’t be allowed to take Hinata’s hand back. His hands look soft, too. Kei’s hands are bony and the tendons stand out a bit, but Hinata’s are rounder, covered in a bit of fluff almost.

Kei traces his thumb over the knuckles on the back of Hinata’s hand, and Hinata shuffles a little in his sleep, nestles into Kei’s neck.

If Kei wasn’t red before, he certainly is now.

“You’re killing me,” he whispers. “Shit.”

When the bus finally pulls up at the stop nearest Karasuno, Kei shakes Hinata awake. Hinata looks reluctant to get up, but he does apologise to Kei for falling asleep on him and promises to pay him back tomorrow morning (not that Kei really minds, it really didn’t cost that much to pay for two people to ride the bus). Then he scurries down the aisle, thanks the bus driver, and hops down the steps.

As the bus pulls out and drives closer to Kei’s own stop, Kei watches Hinata out the window wheeling his bike down the street to start his way home. He feels as though he should have done more, maybe invited Hinata to spend the night at his so he didn’t have to ride home in this snow, but that would have been too far.

There’s a line, and Kei knows (or, feels like, at least) he’s crossed it tonight. He’s sure, too, that Kageyama will know something has changed for Kei tomorrow, that Yamaguchi will question him.

Kei presses the heels of his palms into his closed eyes and groans quietly. “I’m fucked.”

✰♡✰♡✰

Kei wakes up the next morning, and for a moment, everything is peaceful.

Then he remembers the bus ride, and almost asks his mother if he can stay home sick. But that would make Yamaguchi worry, and that’s one of the last things Kei wants, so he drags himself out of bed and to school.

It’s not that he’s freaked out about last night or anything, he’s just- well. If Hinata had been awake, Kei certainly would not have let him sleep on his shoulder, and he definitely would not have held his hand . He’s positive, too, that Kageyama is going to somehow know what went on last night, because apparently he has super intuition now, or something.

When Kei runs into Kageyama before class, though, he doesn’t say anything, just gives Kei a weird look like he’s been staring (which he probably had, honestly) and goes on his own way without even saying ‘hello’. In his head, Kei scoffs at himself for worrying over nothing.

Yamaguchi is another story, though.

Kei sits down in his usual seat in front of Yamaguchi and barely has time to get settled before Yamaguchi is leaning forward and looking over his shoulder.

“You good, Tsukki?”

“I’m fine,” Kei says, pointedly not thinking about Hinata’s hands and the press of his fingertips through Kei’s jacket (he is definitely thinking about this). He turns around in his seat so that Yamaguchi doesn’t have to stretch to invade (internally Kei rolls his eyes at himself; as if Yamaguchi could ever intrude on Kei) his personal space.

Yamaguchi leans back in his chair and squints. “Are you sure?”

Kei stares at him flatly.

“Well-” Yamaguchi flaps a hand at him, “I was talking to Hinata and Kageyama this morning-” ( Great , thinks Kei.) “-and you know how those two are.” He pauses for a second, so Kei nods to fill in the gap. Honestly, he is a little worried about where this conversation is going. “Well,” Yamaguchi continues, “Hinata said you paid for his bus ride home last night-”

“He’s paying me back by lunch,” Kei interrupts, “or I’m gonna be mad.”

Yamaguchi snorts. “Well, yeah, of course. But Kageyama didn’t even look surprised . He just kinda nodded, like,” and Yamaguchi drops his voice in a bad imitation of Kageyama, “‘Ah, yes, that sounds like a perfectly Tsukishima-thing to do’.”

Kei snorts, and he can feel the corners of his eyes crinkling up involuntarily at Yamaguchi’s impression.

“Which is funny because it’s not a very you-thing to do at all,” Yamaguchi goes on.

“Right,” says Kei. Where is this conversation going?

“Because you don’t even like Hinata. You never shut up about how annoying you think he is. I just thought it was weird that-” and Yamaguchi’s looking over Kei’s shoulder now when his eyebrows fly up and he interrupts himself to raise his voice, “Oh, hey, Hinata!”

Kei stiffens. He does not look over his shoulder to the classroom door.

His chest feels tight and there’s a knot of nerves right behind his heart and-

“Oh, my god,” says Yamaguchi. “Oh, my god.”

“What?” Kei snaps.

“Hinata isn’t here, Tsukki.”

Kei furrows his brows in a glare, his best annoyed ‘Are you joking?’ expression, then glances over at the door to their classroom. There’s no one there.

“Oh, my god.” Yamaguchi sounds astonished, and when Kei looks back at him, he’s got a grin of disbelief on his face. “You don’t like Hinata; you like Hinata.”

“I do not like Hinata,” and Kei says ‘like’ with as much disdain as he can muster.

“Yeah, you’re right; you love him -”

Yamaguchi -”

And Yamaguchi just starts laughing. Laughing . Kei can’t believe this (or, well, he can; it’s not like Yamaguchi isn’t capable of being just as mean or intentionally rude as Kei himself is, he just isn’t used to being at the receiving end of that like this before).

He keeps laughing for maybe thirty seconds before he finally calms down, all the while Kei has his arms crossed over the back of his seat and is watching completely unamused, masking the tiny light of distress that’s blinking in his brain.

“Are you finished?” Kei asks.

“Yes,” says Yamaguchi. Then he snorts. “Okay, sorry, Tsukki; I promise I’m done this time.”

“Okay,” says Kei. “Well-”

“Wait, wait, no, wait,” Yamaguchi interrupts, and Kei wants to throw his head back and scream. “Just, Kei,” and he says his first name too softly, too kindly for a weekday morning not ten minutes before class is supposed to start and they’re still the only people in the room, “you’re my best friend. I wouldn’t actually make fun of you if you had a crush, even if it was on Hinata. I just want you to know that you can, like, tell me these things. Also, if you do have a crush on Hinata, then I’m sorry I laughed. But also if you don’t , then I’m not sorry. For laughing.”

“I don’t have a crush on Hinata, Yamaguchi,” Kei says.

“Okay,” says Yamaguchi.

“You don’t believe me.”

Yamaguchi frowns. “Why wouldn’t I believe you?”

“Well,” says Kei. “Maybe I do have a crush on him, then.”

“Do you?” says Yamaguchi.

“Guh,” says Kei.

Yamaguchi just keeps looking at him, not saying anything.

Kei can’t bring himself to say it with certainty out loud right now, not here, not like this, and certainly not when he’s still barely begrudgingly accepted it in his own head . He’s left just staring at Yamaguchi’s curious, open face, and he starts thinking of last night again, holding Hinata’s hand while he slept on his shoulder, and-

“Your face is so red right now.

Shut up, Yamaguchi .”

✰♡✰♡✰

“So, you like Hinata,” says Yamaguchi while they’re walking through the hall to get to their usual lunch spot.

“Oh, did he tell you?” Kageyama is suddenly on Kei’s other side. Kei can’t believe he got snuck up on by Kageyama of all people. “Can you make him do something about it? It’s annoying.”

You’re annoying,” says Kei, because he’s tired and flustered and can’t think of anything more biting than that.

Kageyama frowns.

Yamaguchi snickers into his hand. “I beat it out of him, yeah.”

“You did not,” says Kei.

“Well, you didn’t tell me willingly .”

“Yamaguchi,” says Kageyama. His face conveys serious urgency.

“I’m not confessing ,” Kei spits. “What the hell.”

Kageyama’s frown deepens. “ Yamaguchi -”

Yamaguchi just shrugs.

✰♡✰♡✰

After their regular practice, Hinata insists on walking with Kei to the bus stop to head home. Apparently it’s on his way, so Kei doesn’t think about it too much (except he does overthink it and for half of a second almost convinces himself that maybe, perhaps, possibly Hinata wants to spend more time with Kei).

By the time they reach the bus stop, the sun has long since dipped below the horizon, the last dregs of its light no longer tinting everything a homely orange. The cold almost-night air nips at Kei’s cheeks and nose, and he tucks further into his scarf.

“Tsukishima-” and Hinata drags out the last syllable of his name far longer than is necessary.

“What?” Kei says. He doesn’t snap, says it maybe even kindly. He’s thinking about the bus ride again.

Hinata’s forgotten his mittens. His hands are probably freezing. Kei’s own are warm, wrapped in gloves and stuffed in his pockets. He could-

“Thanks for the bus again, yesterday.” Hinata’s looking down, and he scuffs the toe of his shoe on the sidewalk. “I owe you.”

“You already paid me back,” says Kei. Hinata’s cheeks are red and so his the tip of his nose, and he licks his lips (which are probably chapped, lets be honest) and Kei’s heart squeezes.

I must have a disease , Kei thinks, called being gay .

Hinata furrows his brow, looking up (ha) at Kei, a little confused. “Uhm, well,” he says, then cuts himself off. He looks to think for a moment before going on, “Well, Kageyama was talking to me earlier-” ( Great , thinks Kei, this had better not be the same stupid conversation I just had with Yamaguchi .) “-and, well, he’s pretty stupid sometimes, but it got me to thinking.”

Kei raises a brow, resists the urge to say, “That’s dangerous”.

“About?” he prompts instead.

Hinata squishes his lips together and scrunches up his face so that he looks like a pufferfish. “Well. Have you had a crush before?”

Kei wheezes. “Have I what ?” Then, “ Kageyama got you thinking about this? Is the King even capable of having a crush on someone?”

“Sure! He had a crush on Kunimi in middle school.” If Kei were drinking something, he would have spit it out at the mere idea of Kageyama and Kunimi . “Uhm, please don’t tell him I said that.”

“Sure,” Kei chokes.

Hinata keeps looking at him expectantly, and Kei has to resist the urge to look over his shoulder, make sure there’s nobody else there. Hinata’s expression is reminiscent of when he gets intense on the court and decides that he has to stare down the other team or Kageyama or something. Kei decides in that moment that he does not like having that gaze directed onto him.

“...What?”

“Have you had a crush before ?” Hinata asks again.

Kei shrugs. “Sure I have,” he says.

“Recently?”

“Why,” Kei asks, “do you care?”

Hinata stands up on his toes and gets a little too close to Kei’s face for Kei’s liking (not his liking , actually, because he could certainly think of a different scenario where Hinata’s face is much closer to his own, but. Well.). His eyebrows are scrunched up and his eyes are flickering all over Kei’s face, like he’s trying to analyse him or something.

Kei realises, belatedly, that he’s holding his breath.

“You know,” Hinata says, rocking back on his heels, and Kei lets out his breath as inconspicuously as he can, “you’re pretty mean, Tsukishima.”

“Only to you,” Kei says.

“And Kageyama.”

Kageyama’s different , Kei thinks.

“Well, I don’t know, I’ve decided I don’t really care anymore,” Hinata says. “You’re probably gonna be mean to me or make fun of me for forever so I don’t think it matters if I give you a real reason for it.”

He slumps over a little now, starts kicking at the rocks on the sidewalk again. Kei feels… uneasy.

Hinata’s brief confidence is gone now, replaced by apparent anxiety.

“Uhm,” says Kei.

“Kageyama says I should just go for it, and he’s stupid and doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but I kinda trust his judgement here,” says Hinata.

What is this conversation ? Kei thinks. What the hell is going on ?

“I wanna say ‘don’t laugh at me’ but I know you will anyway,” Hinata goes on, “so whatever . I like you.”

Oh , Kei thinks. He’s making fun of me .

How the tables have turned.

“Oh. You’re making fun of me,” he says.

Hinata glares up at him. “Why would I think this is funny? Stupidshima. Stupid shima-”

I get it ,” Kei says, “ stop with the ‘Stupidshima’ crap.”

For a moment, they just stare at each other in silence, Hinata’s face bright red and uncomfortable-looking and Kei’s own- well, Kei can only imagine how he looks right now. Probably stupid, probably red. Maybe not.

“You’re making fun of me,” Kei says again.

“I’m not,” Hinata snaps. “Why would I be making fun of you ?”

“Because,” says Kei, “ I like you .”

Hinata’s face contorts, and now he looks genuinely upset. “Don’t make fun of me !”

“I’m not-”

“It’s not funny.”

“I’m not laughing at you,” says Kei firmly.

“Well, you didn’t have to say that, then,” Hinata says. “It was mean.”

How .” Kei wants to tear his hair out. Damn Kageyama and his stupid meddling. If Hinata’s really trying to confess and not just making fun of Kei here, then they’ve gotten themselves into a huge mess of bad communication.

“Because I like you-”

“And I like you ,” Kei snaps. “ Dumbass .” Hinata keeps glaring, so Kei says, “I’m not joking. Ask fucking Yamaguchi.”

Hinata still looks skeptical. “You’re not making fun of me?”

“No.”

“Oh.” Hinata scratches his cheek idly with one hand; Kei follows the motion with his eyes. “I’m not making fun of you, either.”

“Okay,” says Kei.

You wanna kiss about it, then ? the Yamaguchi in Kei’s brain thinks.

Shut up, Yamaguchi , Kei thinks pointedly at him.

“...So. You like me,” says Hinata.

“I guess,” Kei says.

“You guess ?” Hinata frowns. He steps forward and grabs the tail ends of Kei’s scarf in his hands, and Kei feels his heart jump into his throat.

“Yeah,” he says, “I guess,” but his voice comes out breathy and far too low.

“Okay,” Hinata says, “so kiss me.”

Kei’s brain short circuits. “ What ?”

“If you’re not making fun of me, then prove it.”

And Kei goes to pull away, take his scarf out of Hinata’s hands, say something stupid like ‘maybe later’ or perhaps just ‘no’, but.

But.

But Hinata’s looking at him the way he looked at Oikawa, at Ushijima, the way he looked at the other players he’d seen who had been invited to the All Japan Youth Camp along with Kageyama, and he thinks, Fuck it; it’s not or it’s never .

Kei takes in a breath and leans down, and then Hinata tugs on the ends of his scarf and pulls him down the rest of the way. Their lips meet and Hinata’s are soft (definitely chapped, though), his mouth is warm.

Their noses bump at first, kind of painfully, and Kei tilts his head to the side. At first it’s nothing, just softness and heat and the curl of something bright and warm Kei’s stomach. Then Hinata brings a hand up to grip at Kei’s arm, and he moves his lips just slightly, and Kei loses any remaining amount of self-control he thought he had left.

Kei cradles Hinata’s face in his hands, feels Hinata sigh against his mouth, feels that sensation in his stomach explode in a fury of sparks and heat and all he can think is finally .

It’s like exhaling after you’ve held your breath for years.

Finally.

Finally, again, Kei can breathe.

✰♡✰♡✰

“Oh, good,” Ennoshita says the next morning. “So, that finally got sorted out, then?”

Kei glares. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Ennoshita raises his brows. “Really? Hinata hasn’t shut up about you since I got here twenty minutes ago.”

Kei doesn’t even have it in himself to pretend to be shocked.

Yamaguchi elbows him in the side. “Yeah, good going with that one, Tsukki.” He’s grinning.

“Shut up, Tadashi,” Kei says, but there’s no bite.

“Sure,” says Yamaguchi, “maybe in a week or two. I have to tease you, first.”

“Tease Hinata .”

Ennoshita points a thumb over his shoulder and says, “Oh, I think Nishinoya and Tanaka are doing enough of that already.”

Kei and Yamaguchi move to walk past Ennoshita toward the club room, but as they’re passing, Ennoshita stops Kei with a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey,” he says.

“Uhm,” says Kei. “Hi.”

“I just wanted to say that I’m proud of you and Hinata for talking it out,” Ennoshita says. He’s smiling and it reminds Kei of Akiteru. “I know sometimes you can be a little-” He cuts himself off to search for a word.

“Emotionally constipated?” Yamaguchi provides.

“Sure,” says Ennoshita, much to Kei’s chagrin. “That works.”

“Tsukki!” Hinata calls, and Kei looks up to find him on the walkway outside of the club room, his practice shirt on backwards.

Kei flushes.

Yamaguchi bursts out laughing.

“Hi,” says Kei.

Hinata grins, and that warmth starts to uncurl in Kei’s stomach, his chest, again.

Despite Yamaguchi’s laughter, despite Ennoshita acting like a proud older brother, Kei thinks, Maybe I could get used to this .

Notes:

this fic was actually super fun to write. I've never written Tsukishima before, certainly not his point of view, so hopefully I did him justice

as always, my Twitter is @pechebaie so come vibe with me about TsukiHina but really mostly Shiratorizawa + AtsuHina if u want