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When Scott tells Stiles he’s dating Derek, Stiles tells him he forgives too easily and should go for someone prettier with less baggage. He doesn’t actually mean prettier of course, Derek is plenty pretty- he means softer.
Scott’s been trying to make Derek softer. Not enough to really constitute change, but enough for the man to be comfortable in his own skin. Scott hasn’t realized yet that the two are too closely linked.
It takes three months of dating, of chipping away infinite walls, before Derek allows Scott to hold him. The reverse is so easy- to put Scott first, to ensure his wellbeing and happiness ahead of his own. He knows how to be a Beta, and he’s learning how to be a lover, and they tangle together, redefining each other. Scott puts him first too, so in theory it would even out. But Derek’s always been better at being a stubborn bastard. (His arguments were cheap ploys, but they still worked for a little while: I’m older than you, I’m bigger than you, you’re my Alpha.)
You’re better than me, was always at the tip of his tongue. He never said it, and he tried to push the thought away. It wasn’t useful and it only made him want to break apart in Scott’s arms, which was definitively what he had been avoiding. He tries not to think about how much Talia would have loved him.
The first time Scott holds him, one hundred and four days after their first date, it’s the fire’s anniversary. Derek usually stares at the ceiling all day, wrapped up in his favorite blankets. He makes sure not to sleep.
Scott joined him this time though, his delicate movements betraying that he knew what day it was. Derek’s resolve crumbled at that, and suddenly the whole thing seemed childish. He nestled into Scott’s warm chest, a small voice in the back of his head demanding- at the very least- that his Alpha wouldn’t see his tears. But when Scott’s arms slipped around him, and his lips brushed against his hair, he couldn’t hear the voice anymore.