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"I don't care what they're going to say"
~ Frozen
Cas hoped that Dean would not hate him after this. Really, really hoped that he would see the humor in what Cas was about to do.
He had taken a moment to get Charlie’s okay - he really didn’t want to fabricate a media debacle for their friend-slash-Dean’s manager to take care of later. However, Charlie had looked at his slip of paper and then tumbled into the nearest barstool, raucous with laughter, before giving her wholehearted okay.
And thus, the little, wholly unremarkable piece of paper landed in the bowl from which Pam would pull the (un)lucky ones to sing karaoke tonight.
It was Friday night at Rocky’s Bar in Monterey Bay, and Friday nights meant karaoke night. Cas and his friends, as well as some other staff from the hospital, could be found here whenever their jobs allowed it. As a general rule, no one within their group was allowed to pick their own song; someone else did and one never knew who they would have to choose for or who chose for them. It was like a Secret Santa - just with songs.
As another general rule - one that his friends had accepted without complaint - Cas had stopped joining into the fun once he had become the official boyfriend of Dean Winchester, lead singer of Purgatory. Really, the last thing he needed was a video online with his poor singing skills. Best captured with a line like, “Embarrassing: Boyfriend of Purgatory’s lead singer can’t hold a note.”
Yeah. No, thanks.
So ever since then, whoever pulled his name got a free drink on Cas instead. It was a compromise everybody was happy with.
He was pretty sure neither Dean nor Charlie would be mad if ever Cas accidentally got them some bad press, but Cas would be mad at himself. Three years into their relationship and the press yet had to find something on him that would shine a bad light on Cas and by extension Dean - something that, to be honest, Cas was very proud of.
Tonight though, that might change. Not that Cas was planning to sing, Gods no. But in a fortunate turn of events, he had picked Dean’s name to pick a song for him. His boyfriend had a few days off between his latest tour, talk shows, and the studio. And as always, whatever free time he had, he spent it in Monterey Bay with Cas.
Charlie had checked into a hotel close by, alternating her time between navigating some details with Dean and relaxing a little herself.
Cas was all the more glad she was here because, with her okay it had been easier to actually put Dean’s name with that song into the bowl. Though as the evening progressed, he grew more and more nervous about his choice. So much so, that when Pam indeed called Dean’s name, Cas grabbed for his sleeve. The bar went wild, knowing they were just about to hear Dean Winchester live, and Cas used the moment to pull Dean back and to whisper in his ear.
“You don’t need to do this, you know!”
But Dean’s grin was wide, carefree. Happy.
“Don’t worry, Angel. I’ll still love you no matter what you picked for me.”
Before Cas could even pretend to protest that he hadn’t been the one to pick the song - it was supposed to be a secret after all - Dean pressed a quick kiss to his lips and made his way over to the stage, the crowd’s applause picking up in intensity as he stepped up to greet Pam.
Dean jumped onto the stage, soaking up all the applause and cheers while he pulled Pam into a tight hug. The woman had run Rocky’s bar since Dean could remember and she still looked as young and hot as she had all those years ago. Dean was half sure that some kind of deal with a devil was involved.
Pam returned the hug and ended it with a pat on his back, then handed him the mic.
“Have fun with this one, Dean-o. Your friends picked a good one.”
Her cheeky smile and the flirty wink told him that he was in for some embarrassment.
The moment he heard the melody, however, he couldn’t help himself. While the crowd roared with excitement and good-natured jeers, Dean threw his head back and laughed. Just before he knew the lyrics would start, he spoke into the mic.
“Oh, Angel, you’re so going to pay for this.”
His threat - which sounded much more like a promise - was met with more laughter from the crowd and from Cas’ friends. And then, everybody was listening eagerly as Dean began to sing a song he had thought he would never, ever, sing in public.
The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation
And it looks like I'm the king
The change of “queen” to “king” did not go unnoticed and was punctuated by howling and applause. Dean was reasonably sure that not one person in the room missed the fact that he wasn’t reading these lyrics off a monitor. Because really - there was only one way to do this.
He had to own it!
The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried
And when Dean Winchester owned a song, he went all in. Fist against his chest, eyes closed, he portrayed the pain necessary for these next few lines, even though he didn’t fully lose his smile.
Don't let them in, don't let them see
Be the good boy you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know
Well, now they know
Eyes open, he stepped to the front of the stage, crouching down with an outstretched hand, letting the fans reach out and touch as he always did when he was on the big stage.
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door
I don't care what they're going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway
“This is going to be on social media, isn’t it?” Dean used the very short break between lyrics to straightening back up to joke with the crowd at large and when laughter and agreement answered him, he shook his head. His smile never wavered as he led into the next line.
It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all
It was actually funny how these lines held some truth for him as well. A few years ago, he would have never stepped up on a karaoke stage to sing a kids’ song. Now? Now he had no problem with that anymore. He was a superstar, yes, and he had his fans. If he hadn’t lost them by coming out as bi three years ago, or by being in a committed relationship with a man, a famous Disney song certainly wouldn’t do that either.
It's time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I'm free
Yes, yes he really was free, he thought, as he raised his hand into the air. He knew this song, he loved this song, he owned this song. Most of all, though, he was enjoying this moment; loved how much the crowd was enjoying it along with him.
Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
When Dean lowered the mic to sing without the enhancement, he knew instantly that the crowd would join in for the next line.
Let it go, let it go
You'll never see me cry
Here I stand and here I stay
Let the storm rage on
The short break was once again used to joke around with the crowd, the constant smile almost hurting his cheeks now. He hardly remembered the last time he had this much fun on a stage - and that said a lot, since Dean loved his job and had lots of reasons to be happy and to smile and to enjoy every moment of it.
But this here? It was simply fun. Just for the sake of it. No embellishments, no press, no protocol. This was independent of any other factor. The happiness and joy in this moment was pure, and untainted by anything. It just simply was.
When it was time, he schooled his features to sell the feelings within the next stanza.
My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I'm never going back, the past is in the past
This time, he even held the mic toward the crowd, and together, they yelled the next line.
Let it go, let it go
The crowd was still singing, but Dean pulled back the microphone to help them along.
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect boy is gone
Here I stand in the light of day
Let the storm rage oooooooon
The cold never bothered me anyway
Just like Elsa in the movie, Dean ended the song with a flourish and before the music had even finished playing, the whole room was on its feet. Screaming, clapping, whistling, and laughing. It was maddening and Dean couldn’t stop grinning, revelling in the giddy bliss of the moment.
It took quite some time after that until the crowd let him go, but Dean refused to give an encore, claiming that he was just another karaoke singer tonight. Just like everyone else here. When Pam finally jumped back onto the stage, the people reluctantly accepted the fact and let him leave the stage.
As he got closer to Cas, despite the smile he wore, Dean could see the uncertainty in his eyes. So without hesitation, he grabbed him by the waist, pulled him close and kissed him, not caring if the whole world was watching.
“Thanks for that,” he whispered, only loud enough for Cas to hear.
“I’m happy you enjoyed yourself.”
Suddenly, Charlie bumped into them. “Oh yeah, I’m happy as well. And so are your fans. You already got sooooo many likes.”
“What?” Dean asked, flabbergasted. “I was just on the stage, how’s this been online long enough for people to have already seen it?”
“It’s the 21st century, Dean, that’s how. Haven’t you ever heard of live-streaming?”
For a moment, he just blinked at his friend and manager. Then, her words sank in.
“You live-streamed this?”
Her bitchface in that moment rivaled that of his brother.
“I’ve been trying to get you a contract for a Disney movie for half a year now. You really think I would pass up on an opportunity like this? You, singing a Disney song? I couldn’t have planned for better publicity even if I'd tried. Do you really have to ask if I live-streamed this?”
“You’re trying to get him into a Disney movie?” Cas asked, not stunned, more intrigued.
Charlie nodded enthusiastically. “Of course I have. With this hype right now about all the live-action movies? I mean, look at your man. Can’t you just see him as Flynn Rider? Or even Prince Philipp, the guy from Sleeping Beauty?”
“Or he could voice Olaf,” Cas murmured, studying Dean as if for the first time.
For that, Cas got a little nudge in his ribs from Dean. But otherwise, Dean was occupied by what Charlie had just told him.
“I never knew you wanted to get me into acting.”
“Well, it’s one of my many plans for your future - that we might not have yet discussed.”
“Does it have to be tonight, though?” Dean asked with a whine. Seriously, wasn’t he on vacation?
“Of course not,” Charlie replied with a smile, already turning back to all her phones, tapping away on her gadgets, eyes lighting up as she scrolled.
Shaking his head, Dean was not sure what to think about Charlie’s plans. He certainly wouldn’t mind singing a song for Disney one day. But playing one of the princes?
Thankfully, Cas’ lips against his ear distracted him from his thoughts and while they listened to the next performer on stage, cuddling and kissing and exchanging sweet little nothings, Dean pushed all thoughts about his professional future aside, rather choosing to let it go for now and instead revel in the moment and thoughts of his future with Cas.