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“Does Shizun regret it?”
Binghe wasn’t sure what he would do with the answer. He didn’t think he would know until he heard it. The question festered in his heart. The thought of Shizun not regretting it was the worst thing imaginable. But the thoughts of Shizun regretting it - those hurt too. After all, did he not also regret being born a half-demon? Didn’t he regret not telling Shizun about the Dream Demon?
But it still happened.
“Does it matter?”
Ah, Shizun’s thoughts are the same.
It still happened. Shen Qinqiu had pushed him into the Abyss.
Shen Qingqiu wasn’t done, however. Under his breath, he muttered, “Of course I regret it.” He wouldn’t meet Binghe’s eyes, like it was too painful for him to do so. A small spark of hope lit in Binghe’s heart. Maybe it’s not disgust…
There were too many things to think about, Binghe decided abruptly. He would come back later. He spun on his heel abruptly, leaving Shen Qingqiu in the Water Prison behind him, secure in the certainty that the man could not escape from him. Binghe could afford a little more time to think.
That one small remark was like a breath of fresh air. A weight lifted off of Binghe’s shoulders. He was in the right - even Shizun didn’t think Binghe had deserved to be pushed down to die. Binghe’s mind raced. Shizun says he regrets it - but implied that it doesn’t matter. Why would he not wish to lighten his punishment? Unless…
Shizun felt guilty. Shizun thought he deserved to be punished.
More facts nudged at Binghe’s attention. Ning Yingying’s claims that Shizun was heartbroken. That Shen Qingqiu had kept his sword, even in pieces. His frequent absences from Qing Jing Peak. If it wasn’t an act… if Shen Qingqiu had known that Luo Binghe wasn’t dead… All pointed to Shen Qingqiu feeling so guilty that he was nearly crippled by it.
Despite his own anger, there was a part of Luo Binghe that was still concerned on behalf of his Shizun, because Shizun was in so much pain that he would surrender himself to Luo Binghe, even when he was clearly terrified of him at the same time.
Luo Binghe contemplated. He didn’t want to kill Shizun, of course. He did want to punish him, but all of a sudden, he realized that he hated Shizun being afraid of him. It didn’t make him feel good. Shizun was his. Was there a way to get everything that he wanted? Could he convince Shen Qingqiu not to run away? Was there a solution that fit both of their needs?
Guilt… required catharsis.
Luo Binghe thought of Shizun’s body, crossed with scarlet Immortal Binding Cables. It called back a similar memory, from an older time: Shizun, bound and half-naked, and yet somehow still the most beautiful thing in the room, sending a flush through his childish heart. The image of how the red cords stretched across Shizun’s chest ignited a much more intense heat inside Luo Binghe now. Perhaps…
He called Sha Hualing to him. “Bring me an incubus.”
Before he went back to Shizun, everything had to be perfect. Binghe couldn’t afford to make any mistakes.
***
When Binghe returned to the Water Prison, he was ready. First, he needed to lay the groundwork to put Shen Qingqiu into the right mindset.
“Shizun. Do you want to atone?”
“Is it by my death?”
“No.” Never, Shizun. It hurt Binghe inside to know that Shizun thought Binghe might desire his death.
“Do you intend to humiliate this master in front of all the Sects?”
While the thought of staking a claim on his Shizun before all possible interlopers was tempting… “This is just between me and Shizun.”
“…Yes.”
Luo Binghe had to turn away from Shen Qingqiu to ensure his growing smile could not be seen.
***
It was easy enough to scoop up Shizun in one arm, and slash open a portal with Xin Mo with the other to his palace in the demon realm. Binghe headed directly to his own rooms, which he had prepared in advance. Allowing Shizun too much time to think was a bad idea. He would only get more nervous.
When Binghe set Shen Qingqiu down on the bed, he did so gently, allowing him to remain upright. After a moment of consideration, he cut the binding cables around Shen Qingqiu’s feet - they would only get in the way - but not the ones restraining his upper body. At this stage, that was still too risky.
The normally silken fall of his master’s hair was mussed and slightly tangled by his stay in the Water Prison. Binghe considered brushing it before they got started, but decided to put it off for later. Then Luo Binghe had a hand at his Shizun’s waist, undoing the ties of his robes.
“Luo Binghe, what -“
A palm over the mouth silenced Shen Qingqiu. Binghe leaned in closer to him. His other hand did not stop in its work of gaining access to Shen Qingqiu’s body. “Doesn’t Shizun want to be forgiven?” He watched as Shen Qingqiu shivered at the whisper of his breath over his neck. Binghe removed his had from Shen Qingqiu’s mouth, testing.
Shizun remained silent, though his breath had quickened. His eyes were slightly unfocused, gazing at something that Binghe could not see; it may not have even have been in that moment.
That was all right, Binghe thought. The hard part would be getting to the actual act, to being inside Shizun. If Shizun was focused on the past, he would be distracted from the present until it was too late. And then, Binghe was entirely confident that he was capable of making Shen Qingqiu focus entirely on the moment - entirely on him.
Binghe pressed his Shizun back onto the bed. His arms, still bound tightly behind him, created a pleasing arch in Shen Qingqiu’s torso, chest thrust slightly upwards. The muscles of his chest and abdomen were taunt and highlighted; his Shizun’s hidden strength. The rosy buds of his nipples were incredibly distracting, and Luo Binghe wanted nothing more than to touch and tease them. But that was for another time - he needed to play the game right now so he could spend as much time on them later as he wanted. Instead, he stripped both Shen Qingqiu and himself of their remaining clothing and reached for the jar of oil his underling had recommended.
He spread Shen Qinqiu’s legs and settled in between them. Impatient, Binghe coated his fingers in oil and reached down to the tight furl of Shen Qingqiu’s hole. The more time he allowed his Shizun to think, the more likely he was to try and escape. He skipped over touching the outside of the muscle before plunging a finger in.
“Ah!” Shen Qingqiu’s entire body went rigid. There you are, Shizun, Binghe thought. He could feel the slight contraction of muscle around his finger. Binghe rubbed the sides of his Shizun’s channel to spread around the oil, marveling at being able to feel inside him, at the warm clench of him.
Shen Qingqiu was now fully back in the present. His arms strained against the Immortal Binding Cables. “Binghe- ah- what are you doing, it’s dirty-“ he cut off as Binghe inserted another finger and swept the pair around in a circle.
“Shizun, I’m doing what you wanted. Don’t worry. Even if you are ‘dirty,’ this will make you clean.” Binghe hooked a third finger into Shizun’s hole and spread his fingers. The space was very small, but it fluttered around him. On a whim, Binghe took the jar of oil and poured it into the hole until it leaked out.
Shen Qingqiu gasped out, “Did I- nnn- ask for thi-is?” His back arched and he tried to scoot his ass away from Binghe’s fingers.
Binghe wasn’t going to have that. Without removing his fingers, he swiftly coated his already hard cock in oil, slicking it twice. He dragged Shen Qingqiu’s hips back towards him. Binghe looked up at his Shizun’s face and said, “Yes, Shizun. You did.”
Luo Binghe sheathed his cock inside his Shizun’s body, sinking as deep as he could manage. Shen Qingqiu made a sound like all the air had been punched from his body with the force of Binghe’s cock entering him. Binghe gasped as the warm, wet muscles parted and then clenched around him. It felt so good.
It felt like coming home.
Binghe took a moment to just bask in the feeling of his Shizun’s body welcoming him inside, holding him close. He rocked deeper into Shizun’s hole once, twice, nestling as deep into the warmth of the embrace as he could. The electric tease of that friction spurred Binghe to start moving for real. He pulled out and eagerly slammed back inside again and again, reveling in how Shizun’s body open and closed around him.
“Ah - Binghe, it hurts!” Shizun had regained his breath. Binghe watched, fascinated, as he gasped and squirmed with each thrust of Binghe’s cock. The arch of Shen Qingqiu’s back over his bound arms caused his head to fall back, exposing the pale column of his throat. Luo Binghe hungrily watched his Adam’s apple work and the sinews of his neck strain.
“Shhhh, Shizun, it’s good that it hurts. I also hurt when you threw me into the Abyss. Piercing with a sword is supposed to hurt.” He ran a soothing hand up Shen Qingqiu’s flank, rubbing circles in taut muscles. Binghe didn’t think he would ever get over how delicious his Shizun looked pierced by his cock, where he was supposed to be. He just needed to make sure Shizun realized that was what he needed, too. That Shizun would be most free from guilt right here with him.
“Ah! Ah, ah-“ The needy noises escaping Shen Qingqiu with each thrust into him told Luo Binghe how well he was filling him up. Shen Qingqiu’s sharp jawline was caught by the light, and Luo Binghe could see his eyes almost rolling back into his head.
“Shizun, the pain will make the guilt go away.” The soft wet embrace of his body hearkened back to his days on Qing Jing peak and Shizun’s warm hugs. Binghe lingered inside on the next thrust, rocking and grinding into Shen Qingqiu’s body as deeply as he could.
“Ahhhh.” The moan that Shizun let out was music to Luo Binghe’s ears.
“So isn’t it good that it hurts, Shizun?” He gave a sharp, violent thrust and nearly squirmed in satisfaction himself as Shen Qingqiu convulsed around him. Binghe grinned. “You look like you’re enjoying this, Shizun, listen to you. You need this.”
He needed Shizun to focus on him now, so Luo Binghe leaned back and dragged Shen Qingqiu’s ass up over his knees, pulling the man back onto his cock instead of driving into him. For a moment, Shen Qingqiu’s only point of contact on the bed was his head and shoulders. Then Luo Binghe lunged forward and pulled Shen Qingqiu entirely upright and into his lap. Shen Qingqiu’s own body weight impaled him on Binghe’s cock.
The force of it would have caused Shen Qingqiu to throw his head back away from Binghe, but Binghe wouldn’t allow it. With the hand not holding Shen Qingqiu’s muscular waist in place as he ground into him, Binghe firmly pulled his Shizun’s face down to look into his eyes.
“Look at me, Shizun. I’m here inside you, here with you. I’m going to give you what you need.” Every couple of words was punctuated by a roll of his hips. Each thrust caused Shen Qingqiu’s eyes to roll back, and each time Binghe gently drew his gaze back. He almost lost his grip for a moment in the sheer pleasure of it, and Shen Qingqiu slid off of his cock until Binghe managed to firmly reseat himself.
“See, Shizun, the guilt is gone while you are pierced by my sword. You can’t even think of it.”
Shen Qingqiu’s legs, which had been splayed to either side of Luo Binghe’s hips jumped up and locked tight around his waist. Binghe felt a broad smile stretch across his face. “That’s right, Shizun, cling tightly to me with your whole body. It feels good now, doesn’t it?”
“Hnn.” Shen Qingqiu’s eyes fluttered shut as if in agreement. A firmness where there had been none before alerted Luo Binghe to the truth: Shen Qingqiu was hard.
“You feel so good, Shizun. You love it too. As long as you can feel me, everything will be fine.” He clutched his Shizun closer to his chest and buried his face into the crook of his neck. Binghe reached up to the cables binding Shen Qingqiu’s arms and began to release them, keeping up a soothing litany of praise in the man’s ear as he did so.
Binghe felt the moment the Immortal Binding Cables slipped free of Shen Qingqiu’s arms. The walls of Shen Qingqiu’s hole rippled and contracted around his cock, and the heightening tension in his own body let Binghe know that he was getting close. Binghe gently guided Shen Qingqiu’s stiff arms around his neck in order to free his own hands.
The reflexive grasp of both Shen Qingqiu’s arms and hole around him when Binghe grabs him by the ass, raises him and slams him down on his cock was gratifying. Up and down, up and down, Binghe dr0ve Shen Qingqiu’s shivering and gasping body onto his cock.
The soft, repeated whispers of “Binghe, Binghe, Binghe” in his ear were even more satisfying.
“Shizun, what do you want?”
The gasped “You, Binghe! Please!” soothed the ache in his chest that has plagued him for so long.
Shen Qingqiu isn’t fighting him anymore. His moans filled the room. The guise of the aloof immortal has been stripped away, and instead Luo Binghe held an imperfect man in his arms. An imperfect man, who Luo Binghe holds more dear than any other, an imperfect man who was asking for his forgiveness.
Luo Binghe would give it to him.
When Shen Qingqiu was fully hard and leaking precome, Binghe pulled out almost completely. He lingered there for a moment, teasing the edges of Shen Qingqiu’s entrance. Slowly, Binghe thrust back in as deep as he could and roughly twisted Shizun’s cock. At the same time, Binghe whispered lovingly into his ear “I forgive you, Shizun.”
His Shizun went rigid as he comes, arms clenching tight around Binghe’s shoulders and body contracting around his cock. Binghe felt a rush of euphoria at knowing he had given his Shizun something the man needed so badly, he could barely ask for it. The high tipped him over the edge as well, and he released into Shen Qingqiu’s body.
Luo Binghe soothingly rubbed Shen Qingqiu’s back through the aftershocks. He could feel it when Shizun slumped limply against his chest, breath fluttering across Binghe’s neck. Gently, Binghe laid Shen Qingqiu down on the bed and slid his cock out of his unconscious body.
The marks upon his Shizun’s body, the swollen and puffy place between his legs, the cries of pleasure - all of it served as a balm for that dark and desperate hollow inside Luo Binghe’s mind. He wanted nothing more than to curl up besides Shen Qingqiu and sleep, with part of himself slipped back inside his Shizun’s body. But that could come later; first, Binghe had to care for his Shizun.
Shizun needed to wake feeling well-rested and clean, but also well-reminded of what occurred tonight. His body would be clean, his robes would be fresh, and a steaming bowl of congee would be ready for him. Shizun could be happy, now that he was forgiven and had come back to Binghe. Shizun would be happy.
Luo Binghe would make sure of it.
***
Shen Qingqiu must have been running himself ragged for longer than Luo Binghe had thought. He had slept most of the day, unmoving in the bed.
Binghe had still had hot food waiting, of course. But Shizun had been exceedingly quiet upon waking. He was silent while eating, and silent while Binghe puttered around the room and set things to rights.
Eventually, Luo Binghe found himself hovering anxiously, his mind whispering to him that it didn’t work, Shizun is going to run away again, it didn’t work it didn’t work -
Finally, Shen Qingqiu breaks his silence.
“Binghe… will you forgive this master again tonight?”