Archive of Our Own

It was just a joke.

He knew Wooseok would get flustered if he changed the choreography at the last minute. He had learned in Produce how easy it was to get on Wooseok’s nerves — not to mention how much fun it was. Wooseok never stayed mad for long, though. In fact, Seungyoun wasn’t convinced that Wooseok was ever actually that annoyed with him at all until one day he made a mistake. At the time it seemed like a great idea, but then everything turned to shit, and he wasn’t sure what to do about it.

At their debut showcon, he didn’t know millions of people were watching from around the world. He was too focused on the thousands of them in the audience and the performance he owed them. They were the reason he got to be on stage again as an idol. If it weren’t for the fans/national producers, he would have slid back into the shadows as a songwriter making hits for other people before finally enlisting and living the rest of his life on royalties. It wasn’t a bad thing necessarily. He could be comfortable for the rest of his life doing what he loved, but he didn’t want to be comfortable. He wanted to be on stage.

They were all in silk shirts, performing U Got It which was a bigger hit during Produce than anyone had ever anticipated. Move blew up too, but not like U Got It, and all of the credit rightfully went to Seungwoo. He knew how to work his body to a song like that while still maintaining his powerful vocals, and it had been one of the factors that pushed him up into the debut group. Of course, Seungwoo deserved it, but it gave him a little insight into what the fans liked and what they liked the most was sex.

So he set his eyes on the king of fanservice. He only had a moment to glide across the stage and take Wooseok’s chin in his hand. It was a gamble because either it was going to work as planned or Wooseok was going to get so startled that he would screw up his own part. If the latter happened, Seungyoun was going to get locked out of the dorm that night, but it was worth a shot.

He tilted Wooseok’s head up, and his eyes widened in surprise, but then he closed them l and whipped his head around like he was enjoying himself and the fans went crazy. He could hear the screams over his inner ear monitor, but he hadn’t taken into account the millions of fans around the world who saw it too, up close and personal. The articles went up before they stepped off the stage. Suddenly they were a hot topic. His own popularity shot up so fast he went from being one of the members who received the most negative comments to one of the ones with the most fansites. It had been a complete success. Not only for him, but for Wooseok too. People took notice of how well Wooseok received attention from the rest of the hyung line, and his cold, evil-edited persona was replaced with one deserving of a skilled, veteran idol.

It couldn’t have worked out better.

So every time they performed U Got It, Seungyoun would touch Wooseok’s chin, Wooseok would react (usually by shaking his finger as if to scold him), the fans would scream, and everyone was happy. Somehow they even became closer. They grew to be teammates who relied on each other and gave each other strength. Every time Wooseok spoke during an interview or on show that hosted him, Seungyoun couldn’t help but look at him without pride and warmth. He knew he had been a part of Wooseok coming out of his shell, even if it was just a little bit, and he had become one of his best friends in the group. Seungyoun was good at becoming close to people, but Wooseok wasn’t and that’s what made it the most special.

But it had become predictable and expected. It hadn’t been long enough for fans to get bored of the choreography, but he noticed that the screams weren’t as loud anymore. There weren’t anymore articles about then except when they met each other for the holidays and some fans saw them (which they were not thrilled about because they were just trying to take a break). Sure, every time they showed up at the airport or on a music show, someone trended, but it was fleeting. Vampire good looks or surprise tattoo flashes weren’t enough to outweigh the voting controversy that took its toll on all eleven members. It wasn’t their fault. They deserved to be on stage even if the production company had thrown them to the wolves. He needed to gain back his impact.

In Thailand he got an idea. It was a long shot, and it was possible that it wouldn’t have as big of an impact as the original, but he had to try it.

He pulled Seungwoo aside after their first rehearsal. Because he got the idea so late, it meant he wouldn’t have a chance to risk screwing up the performance with an ambush. Luckily for him, their leader was up for anything if it meant that the fans had a good time. Wooseok may have been known as the king of fanservice, but Seungwoo’s home group Victon had a brand. Bad Boy (changed to Bad Girl) and Havana were just the tip of the iceberg. Seungwoo would know how to react in the heat of the moment to make everyone lose their minds.

“What do you think?” Seungyoun asked.

Seungwoo tilted his head and scratched his jaw. “I don’t know if anyone will see it. The camera is going to zoom in too close.”

“It might not,” he pointed out. “Do you think you could do it.”

Seungwoo nodded. “I think so.”

The next thing he knew, they were on stage performing U Got It at K-Con in Thailand as a newly debuted super group. Hearing the fanchants that far from home was surreal considering that none of them had really been prepared for the fame that came with winning Produce 101 that literally happened over night.

He and Seungwoo looked at each other and smiled, ready for their little secret. Seungwoo was obviously excited. He stood up and strode across the stage, and instead of grabbing Wooseok’s chin, he stroked Seungwoo’s neck who tilted his head back and looked up at him like a purring cat. It couldn’t have been more perfect.

But there was one problem. He forgot to tell Wooseok.

Wooseok was startled for all the wrong reasons and almost messed up his own part, but he was able to catch himself just in time like the professional he was. Through the adrenaline, Seungyoun felt a pang of guilt in his stomach. He was going to have to apologize when they got off stage for not warning him because Wooseok had changed his position to make their choreography “surprise” more seamless, and Seungyoun had left him standing there like a fool.

The song ended with an almost perfect performance, and he went to Wooseok because they were always standing together, but Wooseok pulled away. Unless he was imagining things, Wooseok refused to look at him. Is he mad at me?

Seungwoo was giddy and overflowing with excitement so naturally he and Seungyoun bounced around the stage together. It was the most fun they had performing, and to make things better, their friends were on stage with them. Seungyoun got to greet his friends from other groups and absorb the energy from the K-Con crowd. As they were wrapping things up, he ran up to grab Wooseok’s hand for a group cheer, but could only get ahold of his forearm before Wooseok snatched it away. He was upset. He didn’t need to be. He wasn’t going to lose fans over it.

Then after everything was over, Seungyoun learned the horrible news that the camera didn’t catch his move at all. All they got was Wooseok staring at him blankly as he looked at the floor. It had all been for nothing.

Except little did they know until they checked Twitter later, but only seconds after the song ended, the fancams went up. There were a dozen different angles of the moment from both Seungyoun and Seungwoo’s fans. Some angles made it look like Seungyoun had practically mounted his shoulder or that he tugged an invisible leash. It was too erotic, and it might have gotten them into trouble if it had aired, but the response was phenomenal. Everyone was thrilled except for one person.

“Wooseok, can I come in,” he said outside of his hotel room. He knew Wooseok was in there because the others were all hanging out in Seungwoo’s room and Hyeongjun had said Wooseok wasn’t feeling well. His dinner hadn’t settled was the excuse, but Seungyoun happened to know that he hadn’t eaten a bite. He knew because he had watched him, studying his face that was frozen in a thoughtful frown.

With no answer, he knocked again. “Don’t make me go get the room key.”

A moment later the door opened. Wooseok was in one of his sweaters, his makeup washed off, and his glasses propped on the bridge of his nose. “Can I help you?”

“Can I come in?”

“For what?”

Seungyoun felt an odd stab in his stomach that he hadn’t felt with Wooseok before. “To talk. We can talk right?”

“About what,” Wooseok said, sounding uninterested.

“Do you want to find out in the hall where anyone can walk by?”

Wooseok sighed and stepped aside to let him through. The hotel room was dark except for the bedside lamp against one of the walls. He saw the iPad on the bed and could recognize that it was Twitter from there.

“I heard you weren’t feeling well,” he said, choosing not to ask Wooseok what he was looking at.

“I’m fine. It’s just a stomach ache.”

“Did you take anything?” He asked, knowing he was being lied to.

“No, it was just all the spices from dinner. Thai chilies are no joke.”

Seungyoun frowned and sat on the side of the opposite facing bed to give him some space. He wasn’t sure if he should directly call him out for lying or let him get away with it. After all there was no reason for him to lie to him just like there was no reason for him to skip a meal.

“Why did you come over?” Wooseok asked, making the decision for him.

“I wanted to talk,” he said. “We do that, don’t we?”

“I guess,” he said, sitting on his bed.

Seungyoun didn’t know why he was getting angry, but he felt his hands grip the bed spread beneath him. “Wooseok, are you mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad at you?”

Seungyoun huffed. If Wooseok thought he was being coy, he couldn’t have been more wrong. If anything he was just being frustrating. “You can tell me.”

“Look, there’s really no point in doing this so why don’t you just go hang out with the others,” he said, cold and careless.

“I don’t want to.”

“How is that my problem,” Wooseok asked.

Seungyoun locked his jaw, annoyed. “Why are you doing this?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Seungyoun stood up and grabbed his shoulders, ready to shake the sass out of him when he looked down to see the tablet screen. It was a looped video of him tipping up Seungwoo’s chin with 30 thousand views.

“What is that,” he said, his hands dropping to his side.

Wooseok grabbed the tablet and flipped it over face down.

“I was just checking to see if people liked the performance,” he said.

“By watching that video?”

“It was a coincidence.”

“You’re not going to lose fans,” he said quietly, sitting down onto the bed next to him. He took Wooseok’s tablet and set it aside where he couldn’t look at it anymore. “They love you so much. Changing the choreography isn’t going to change that.”

“I know,” Wooseok furrowed his brow. “I’m not worried.”

“Then why–.”

“Just stop, okay,” he said, tired. “I know it’s just your personality, and I told myself that this was going to happen. It’s on me, okay?”

“What are you talking about?” Seungyoun asked, genuinely confused.

Wooseok looked away from him, and Seungyoun noticed his hip quiver.

He reached out and touched his cheek, pulling his face towards him so he could look at him. “Hey, what’s going on?”

Wooseok looked back at him, his pupils shaking and the tip of his nose turning red before whispering, “Why do you have to be like this? Now it’s complicated.”

Before Seungyoun could defend himself, Wooseok leaned in and pressed their lips together. Seungyoun froze. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. He didn’t think about Wooseok like that, did he? No, he was sure he didn’t. So why did his eyes close, and why did his head tilt just slightly to make the kiss more comfortable? Why did he ball Wooseok’s sweater up in his fists to pull him closer? If he didn’t have feelings for him, why was he pushing him back onto the bed onto the pillow and climbing ontop of him. Why did his whole body feel hot and cold at the same time? If he didn’t like him, why did he gasp into his mouth as Wooseok ran his hands up the back of shirt?

There was a lot to think about, but unfortunately, his brain wasn’t the part of him in charge at that moment.

“You don’t have to do this,” Wooseok said, breathless.

“Neither do you,” he said, pinning the other’s arms over his head.

“I know.”

Neither one of them came prepared for fling in Thailand. They couldn’t do everything they wanted to, but they could do just enough to make it count until they got back home. They didn't have many promotions left so surely they would get a day or two off. He needed at least a couple of days with Wooseok. For what? He wasn’t sure. He definitely didn’t have feelings. Nope.

In the low amber light, Wooseok looked like an angel. He was the most beautiful person he had ever seen, and he wanted to swallow him whole.

So he did, and the next thing he knew, they were both lying on their backs out of breath staring up at the ceiling.

“I don’t know why I did that,” Wooseok said.

Seungyoun rolled over on his side, happy he had, and wrapped his arm around him. He nuzzled closer and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m glad you did.”

Wooseok rolled his eyes. “Of course you are.”

He propped himself up on his elbow and cupped Wooseok’s cheek in his palm. “No, really.”

Wooseok looked like he was about to cry again.

“Don’t do this to me,” he whispered, rolling over. “I know it doesn’t mean anything to you. It was just something to do.”

Seungyoun took a breath. “I don’t know what it means.”

“What did you think was going to happen when you came here?”

“I thought I could get you to tell me what’s wrong so I could fix it.”

“It’s fixed.”

Seungyoun blinked. He was acting cold again. He was still mad at him. What was he supposed to do?

“You can go,” Wooseok said.

Seungyoun made a sound halfway between a cough and a laugh in disbelief. There was a lot of things he didn’t like about himself, but he did not deserve this. He rolled Wooseok back to face him, who tried to cover the silent tears streaming down his cheeks, and Seungyoun’s face softened. Wooseok was pushing him away because he was hurt.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I won’t do it again.”

“Do what?”

“The chin thing,” he said. “I won’t do it with anyone else again if it bothers you like this.”

He laid his body on top of him so Wooseok couldn’t roll away again. His own heart ached thinking about how upset he had been over it without telling anyone.

“It’s not a big deal,” he insisted.

“Liar,” he said quietly.

Wooseok let out a weak laugh and sighed, but he ran his fingers through Seungyoun’s hair, and Seungyoun took that as a sign that he had been forgiven. He made a note to be careful with Wooseok’s feelings because he still didn’t know if this was an angry, jealous hookup or if Wooseok actually liked him. It probably wasn’t the right time to ask.

They laid there without saying anything for a while before it was time for him to leave and go back to his own hotel room. He felt a weight lift off of his shoulders. All he had to do was not do the chin thing with anyone else in the group, but since promotions were practically over, he didn’t think that would be a problem.

They flew back to Korea, and he thought he would never get a chance to catch his breath, but they finally had a night off from practicing. They were always practicing, and he thought he would never get Flash out of his head.

Their leader wasn’t feeling well, he noticed. He pretended like he was okay, but Seungyoun caught him talking with the stylists to make sure his knee brace was well hidden beneath his stage outfit. He worried a lot about him, but there was nothing anyone could do. Fans begged him to go to the hospital, and even the Victon members couldn’t convince him to take a break. He needed to do something.

“Let’s hang out,” Seungyoun said. “Just the two of us.”

“Why just us?” Seungwoo asked.

“So we can save money on beer and so you can rest your leg without pretending like it doesn’t hurt.”

Seungwoo frowned. “It doesn’t.”

“When no one’s looking, you limp like it’s made of wood.”

“Maybe if no one was looking it wouldn’t matter,” Seungwoo said.

“I’ll still see it,” he said with a sigh. “I’ll make sure you never get a chance to pretend like you don’t need to go to the hospital.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s what you would do for the sixteen of us.”

“Sixteen,” Seungwoo laughed weakly.

“It takes a lot of balls to lead two idol groups at the same time,” Seungyoun said, praising him.

“I’m not leading Victon anymore.”

“Just because you can’t say your other greeting right now, doesn’t mean you’re not their leader,” he said. “Come on, let's go before it gets late.”

“You’re just buttering me up so I’ll pay, aren’t you,” Seungwoo teased.

“Of course.”

They snuck up to the rooftop without the others with their beer ready to spend the evening destressing. Seungwoo needed it the most. As their new leader, he spent too much time trying to be reliable and responsible and not enough time trusting them to take care of him. Seungyoun felt responsible for him for some reason. It was probably because he was the second oldest and nothing else.

“It feels nice out here,” Seungwoo said, looking up to the sky that would have had a blanket of stars if they weren’t in the middle of the city.

“Yeah it does,” he said. He couldn’t help but stare at Seungwoo who was a completely different person when he wasn’t on stage. He was soft and thoughtful and sometimes childlike.

Seungwoo noticed him staring and raised his eyebrow. Flustered, Seungyoun looked down at his drink.

“What were you going to say,” he said, unbothered.

“I was going to say that it’s okay for you to rely on us.”

“I’ll try to,” he said without a lot of meaning behind it.

“You can start now,” Seungyoun said. He set his drink down and walked over to sit beside him, placing his hands on his leg.

“What are you doing?”

Seungyoun massaged the tissue around his knee carefully. “Tell me if this hurts.”

Seungwoo watched him carefully, and the stare was making him feel self conscious. “It doesn’t.”

“You’re not the first idol to fuck up his knee, and you won’t be the last,” he said. “But if you don’t give it a rest, you’re gonna wake up one day and never be able to dance again.”

Not a fan of being scolded, Seungwoo tried to pull away, but Seungyoun held his ground.

“It’s not that bad,” Seungwoo said.

“If it’s not, then you’re just getting a free massage from the great and magical Cho Seungyoun for no reason. You should be honored.”

“Great and magical,” Seungwoo repeated. “Now I see why you have all the fans.”

Seungyoun sucked his teeth. “That’s not true.”

“You have to admit that you’ve done a 180,” Seungwoo teased.

“Yeah, literally none of the trainees knew I was their senior,” he grumbled. “I did not EOEO on the floor on national television just to get called rat bangs by a bunch of sixteen year olds.”

“Did I hit a sore spot?” Seungwoo asked.

“No,” he snorted. “But you finally relaxed your leg so it worked.”

He looked up and smiled, and Seungwoo was only inches from his face. He blinked and looked away, focusing on massaging his knee.

“That was fun, you know,” Seungwoo said, his voice low.

“What was?”

“Changing the U Got It choreography like that,” he said.

Seungyoun laughed. “Did you see the fancams? Everyone went crazy.”

“I know,” he said, giddy. “I can’t wait to do it again.”

Seungyoun swallowed, remembering his promise to Wooseok. “Yeah, me too.”

He had no idea what he was supposed to do. Wooseok didn’t want him to do it with Seungwoo again, but Seungwoo obviously enjoyed himself a lot. It was the only time he got to play on stage since they debuted, and then he remembered how goody and happy he was afterwards. What was Seungyoun supposed to do?

“Maybe we can get the stylists to give me a leash,” Seungwoo said.

Seungyoun thought he was going to choke. “A what?”

“You were getting too serious on me,” he said. “You think too much.”

Seungyoun sighed. “Sometimes.”

“That’s okay,” he said. Seungwoo lifted up his chin, and Seungyoun thought his own eyes were going to pop out of his head. He felt his heart race, not sure what was happening.

“What are you doing,” his voice shook.

“It hurts,” Seungwoo said.

“What does?”

Seungwoo motioned towards his knee, and Seungyoun immediately let go. “Sorry.”

Seungwoo grabbed his hand and pulled him back. “Thank you.”

He wasn’t sure why he did it, but he let him hold his hand for a while as they sat together quietly listening to the world below.

“Seungwoo?” He broke the silence.

“Hmm?”

“What will it take for you to go to the hospital?”

“Ahhh,” he said with a sigh, letting go of Seungyoun’s hand. “I’ll worry about that during our break.”

He stood up to leave, and Seungyoun panicked. He grabbed his hand and pulled him back. “Wait.”

“What?”

He had to think fast, even though he wasn’t sure why he did it. “Go with me then. I’ll take you there, and then the others won’t worry.”

“And there will be a thousand articles out in the morning about how X1’s oldest member spent the night in the hospital,” he said, frustrated.

“You say that like you’re actually old,” Seungyoun said. “And besides. There are worse things to have articles written about you for.”

Seungwoo blinked, and Seungyoun looked away. “I didn’t mean those kinds of rumors.”

“How did you know?” He demanded.

“I don’t know anything.”

Seungwoo grabbed his face and held it up to look at him. He was scary like this. It was the same face he made when someone broke something that didn’t belong to them at the studio or when someone ruined the choreography when they practiced.

“I wasn’t talking about that,” Seungyoun said. “Your secret is safe with me.”

“How long?”

“I don’t know. Since like the first week after the company evaluations?”

“Who told you?”

“No one,” Seungyoun insisted. “Can you let go of my face please? It’s starting to hurt.”

Seungwoo let go and dusted himself off.

“I didn’t mean those kinds of rumors,” he said.

“Do you have a problem with it?” Seungwoo folded his arms across his chest, closing himself off.

“No! I mean, is anyone straight anymore? Honestly.”

Seungwoo snorted. “Aren’t you?”

“Heyyy,” Seungyoun said. “I like to consider myself a free thinker. I’m a man of the people. I can’t help it if I like all of them.”

Seungwoo laughed and waved him off. “You’re so annoying.”

Seungyoun gave him a cheeky smile, and he opened another beer to pass to the older. “Drink up while you still have a chance.”

“You’re right,” he sighed. “It’s back to work soon.”

“It’s great isn’t it?”

Seungyoun couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned in his bed, and he was glad that his roommate wasn’t a light sleeper. He couldn’t stop thinking about the way Seungwoo had looked at him like he was angry but then terrified. For a second, he saw the weight of Seungwoo’s whole career on his face, and his heart ached. He didn’t want him to look at him like that ever again because for a moment, Seungwoo thought that he could take everything away from him so carelessly as if he would ever do that. Not that he would ever do that to anyone, but he cared too much about him to ever hurt him like that.

Even though the rest of their night together seemed fine, it didn’t sit right with him. Seungwoo was quieter than usual and insisted it was just because he was tired, but Seungyoun had a feeling that he had been unsettled by feeling outed by accident. Seungyoun honestly would have never brought it up, and those weren’t the rumors he was talking about. Idols got in trouble for everything. All he meant was that going to the hospital wasn’t anything to be embarrassed about. He practically jumped out of bed, filled with an itching resolve. He threw on a pair of basketball shorts and a hoodie and tiptoed out of the room towards Seungwoo’s, using his phone as a light.

The dorm was eerily quiet. It was around 1 in the morning, and even though that wasn’t particularly late for most people, they had to wake up before 4 a.m. for most of their schedules. He would have given anything to sleep, but he couldn’t until he settled his conscience.

He found Seungwoo’s room and was grateful that the eldest roomed alone. He gave the door a light tap before cracking it just enough to whisper through.

“Seungwoo,” he said. “Are you awake?”

He heard a low groan before seeing the lamp turn on. He pressed the door shut to let him get dressed, but when Seungwoo opened the door he was in nothing but his boxers with his eyes barely open

“Seungyoun?” He asked, rubbing his eyes. “Is everything okay?”

“Can I come in,” he said quietly, worried he would wake Wooseok in the other room.

Seungwoo nodded sleepily and let him in. “What’s up?”

Seungyoun wrang his hands together, nervous. The leader’s room was a place of comfort and healing, but he felt like he had slipped into Seungwoo’s private space. Maybe it was the fact that the sheets were all ruffled from sleeping or the fact that Seungwoo was barely wearing any clothes, but he felt like an intruder.

“I wanted to apologize,” he said. He sat down on the bed because he was so nervous he thought his knees would give out.

Seungwoo sat next to him like clockwork. “For what?”

“For giving you something to worry about,” he said. “I mean other than the thousands of worries you have as our leader, I made you afraid for yourself as an artist, and I don’t know how I could live with myself in you felt like you were walking on eggshells.”

“Thank you,” he said. “I know I can trust you. I just panicked. It’s because I’m ti–.”

“Tired,” Seungyoun said.

Seungwoo smiled weakly. “What am I supposed to say?”

“‘Help me, Seungyoun’ for a start,” he said.

“Help me, Seungyoun,” Seungwoo said quietly. He was only teasing, but it made his heart race and his chest tighten. What if he could become the person Seungwoo relied on? What if for the next five years, he could take his stress away or at least help shoulder the burden? Seungwoo had voted for him as their leader even though everyone knew it had really been a unanimous vote. What if that meant he wanted to rely on him?

He lost his senses and kissed Seungwoo, and he was sure he hadn’t meant to do that. But Seungwoo reacted like he had expected it — like he wanted him to.

He inhaled sharply and pulled Seungyoun to him, and that’s when Seungyoun realized he had nothing to hold on to that wasn’t bare skin so he braced himself on the bed.

The kiss deepened, and he noticed that he wasn’t in charge of it. This was what Seungwoo needed to clear his head, and this was how he could help him.

He let himself fall back onto Seungwoo’s bed onto a soft pillow that smelled like his shampoo.

He pulled Seungwoo down on top of him, and he felt him smile against his mouth. He felt warm and content, and it wasn’t something he expected to find there so late at night.

He wasn’t sure what to expect, so he just went with it. But it was nice. He wondered what it would be like to do this more often maybe in quick moments when they had a second alone. What if he slipped into his room at night every once in awhile just to have more moments like this? That would be okay with him. He wrapped his arms around Seungwoo and kissed him deeply.

“Can you stay,” Seungwoo whispered, sending his pounding heart into overdrive. It was almost like he was taunting him by dangling his vulnerability in front of him, and Seungyoun was eager to take the bait.

“If you want me to,” he said quietly. Truthfully, he wanted to stay the night for his own reasons, but if Seungwoo specifically said he wanted him to, he was going to absolutely lose his mind.

“Please,” he said.

Seungyoun didn’t need to hear anything else. He sat up and pulled the hoodie off over his head and climbed back into bed, pulling the covers over them both. Seungwoo rested his head on his chest and closed his eyes. Seungyoun reached out and turned off the light before he closed his own. Seungwoo fell asleep first judging by the steady rise and fall of his chest.

He smiled to himself, satisfied. He had given the two people he cared about most exactly what they needed when they were at their worst, and now things could run smoothly.

Before he knew it, they had another performance to get to on a new stage, and everyone was in a good mood because it was Yohan’s first time to dance with them since he injured himself. Seungyoun was so happy performing as eleven again that he had to fight back tears of joy. Except there was a problem. Seungwoo was limping, and it was bad this time. It was so bad that their fancafe, Victon’s fancafe, and all of their social medias were flooded with fans begging him to get treatment. He wished he could tell them that they had all been trying to get him to go, but Seungwoo insisted that he was fine to the point of being stubborn.

The other controversy — the one no one in the group wanted to talk about — had become suffocating. It was sucking the morale out of the team (especially the younger members), and the only positive articles they were seeing were about Yohan’s return to the stage. It was good, but it wasn’t enough. Not only that, with promotions coming to an end, album sales were dropping, and they didn’t have any brand endorsements. Things were starting to look grim, and the eleven of them began to question if they would get to stay together as a group. It wasn’t their fault that the production company cheated, so why of all seasons were they the ones being punished?

For the kids it felt like the end because they were young and impatient. They still had the chance to debut fresh with their companies, but for the pre-debuted line, it was particularly daunting. Seungyoun and Hangyul were their own brand of unlucky, and there was no reason that Wooseok’s and Seungwoo’s groups hadn’t been successful on their own. The music was good and the members genuinely tried their best, but the industry was fickle, and they couldn’t help but wonder if they went back now if the controversy would follow them home.

But it wasn’t their fault, and the fact that the fans did not seem to care one way or another what anyone had to say about them gave them strength. Swing wanted them to keep their heads down for now, but they could still see the undying support. If they could just get to the next comeback, everything would be okay. The world would forget soon enough.

“How’s your leg,” Seungyoun asked, meeting Seungwoo in the kitchen. He hadn’t had a chance to talk to him much since their strange shared night, and he was sure that was because of how busy they were.

“If someone else asks me that, I might take it off and throw it at them,” he grumbled.

Seungyoun sighed.

“No one in the world is more loved than Han Seungwoo,” he teased.

Seungwoo gave him a confused look, but Seungyoun wasn’t in the mood to chat. He finished making his coffee and took another cup with him. It had been a while since he spent too much time in Wooseok’s room bothering him. Weeks in fact. But when he got to the door, the memory hit him like a ton of bricks. The hotel room had felt like a dream that belonged to somebody else, and now there was a tightening in his chest that took his breath away. He could do it. He could go in and not make things awkward.

He didn’t bother knocking because the old Seungyoun wouldn’t have knocked to come into Wooseok’s room. After he realized that Wooseok wasn’t scary and that he was just shy when they were on the Love Shot team together, he made it a point to go to him first. One day Wooseok would be able to comfortably rely on him in his own time.

“Wooseokieeee,” he called out with a playful grin. “I brought you something.”

Wooseok didn’t look up from what he was doing. He was sitting on his bed with his legs crossed, sheets of paper spread out across the comforter.

“What are you doing,” he asked, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room with two cups of coffee.

“Oh, sorry,” Wooseok said. He stacked up the papers and set them to the side. “I was just reading some stuff.”

Seungyoun raised a curious brow but didn’t press the issue further. He handed Wooseok the mug and sat on the bed at a respectful distance.

“Thanks,” Wooseok said. “You’re the only one in the house who can make a decent cup of coffee.”

“I think I was a barista in a previous life,” he admitted. “How are you feeling? We haven’t talked in a while.”

“I thought you were avoiding me,” he said.

“No! Of course not,” Seungyoun almost spilled his drink. “It’s just been so busy.”

“Not busy enough for you to spend the night with Seungwoo,” he pointed out.

Seungyoun almost choked. “It wasn’t like that.”

“No, it’s fine,” Wooseok said, not seeming too hurt about it. At least that’s all he needed to confirm that it was just an impulsive hookup for them both. “He needs someone to look after him every once in a while. I’m just worried you’re spreading yourself too thin.”

“What do you mean?”

Wooseok rubbed his temple like he was getting a headache. He watched him go through the argument a few times in his own head before Wooseok finally figured out what he wanted to say. “You can’t break off pieces of yourself to fill the holes left in other people.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He never found out what it meant. The kids burst in Wooseok’s room all with too much energy and stamina for their own good. Even Seungwoo popped his head in at the commotion.

“What are you guys doing?” Wooseok asked, surprised.

“We’ve decided that we, as a group, deserve a movie night,” Hyeongjun said. “We won’t accept no for an answer.”

“You guys can watch a movie if you want,” Seungyoun said. “You’re allowed to.”

“No, no, no,” Dongpyo waved his hands. “ We are going to watch a movie. All of us. This house stinks like stress and gym clothes.”

“Maybe if some of you showered more,” Wooseok grumbled but was ignored.

“Alright, everyone to the living room then,” Seungwoo said, ushering them out of the tiny bedroom. “Go pick something out.”

Not needing any more incentive, the kids scurried off to the living room. Hangyul and Yohan seemed to be lost because they weren’t sure which group they were in. Wooseok got up and left with the others behind him, taking Seungyoun’s chance to get him to clarify with him.

Somehow he ended up wedged on the couch between Seungwoo and Wooseok which, unless he was imagining things, seemed to be a metaphor for his life lately. He was so nervous he couldn’t focus on the movie at all, and he couldn’t wait for it to be over. He came up with a plan. If he started coughing, he would get on everyone’s nerves and they would have to make him leave. Plus, if they thought he was infectious, they’d all become hysterical germaphobes because if one of them got sick, the other ten were doomed.

He inhaled, ready to let out his most dramatic wheeze, when something in the corner of his eye moved. He can’t be serious. Wooseok had fallen asleep during the movie and slumped over, his head drooping forward. Seungyoun couldn’t let him sleep like that. If he got a cramp in his neck, he couldn’t perform.

He carefully tilted Wooseok’s head back and rested it on his shoulder. For someone who wasn’t supposed to “spread himself thin”, he was sure having to do a lot of extra things to keep the “responsible” members from hurting themselves. He smiled to himself and wasn’t sure why he did. Whatever, he was allowed to feel happy for doing something nice for a friend and teammate. A teammate he cared a lot about. He swallowed and pushed the thought into the back of his mind. That was something he was going to deal with when they were on their break before the next comeback.

When he thought he was finally calming down, he felt something warm bump his hand that was crossed over him. He didn’t look, but he could feel a long slender finger slip its way into his fingers and hook itself around them.

Oh no.

He felt Seungwoo shift next to him, waiting for him to react, and it wasn’t like he meant to encourage him by threading their fingers together. He simply completely lost control of his body, he would insist. It was an impulse. Like poking a venus flytrap. Except the flytrap was his own hand, and Seungwoo’s was the fly, and this metaphor was getting out of hand, but the point was that none of this was his fault.

The movie couldn’t end fast enough. As soon as the credits rolled, he practically leapt off the couch, almost flinging poor Wooseok over and ripping Seungwoo’s hand off. They both looked at him confused.

“I’m going to go to bed. We have a performance tomorrow,” he announced. “No one follow me.”

“Can I follow him?” Hangyul, his roommate, who was not among the two members he had recently made out with, asked. He looked around, and the others just shrugged at him.

Seungyoun jumped in his bed and pulled the covers over his head. If anyone was going to barge in there, they couldn’t prove that he was asleep. He was not to be disturbed. He thought he was going to throw up. What was he supposed to do? He didn’t want to hurt either of them. He didn’t want to hurt himself. How was he supposed to get out of this?

Rehearsals went well, and they were so much closer to getting to finally rest. The set went smoothly without any mistakes, but then the music of a familiar song played and he was suddenly so nervous he couldn’t stop shaking.

His part in U Got It came, and he made eye contact with Seungwoo reminding him of his promise he made Wooseok. He glanced back, and Wooseok’s body was turned just enough to have his chin touched. They both expected it.

Even if he broke his promise and pissed Wooseok off or if he kept his promise and disappointed Seungwoo, the thought occurred to him that he wanted to go to them both. They thought that he was doing careless things for their sake, but it had been for his. He had projected his own loneliness, and pain, and insecurity onto them and called himself a hero for sharing little moments. They had been taking care of him the whole time.

In the last moment, Seungyoun strode between them, but he froze. He couldn’t make a decision on time, and missed his cue. Before he could touch either of them, Wooseok was singing his line, and Seungyoun stepped back to keep from blocking the camera. There was no loud cheer that time. Seungwoo looked at him confused, but he kept his head down. Wooseok made a mistake in the choreography that no one noticed, and it threw the three of them through a loop.

They exited the stage, and he grabbed a bottle of water and chugged it. They could scold him later for ruining the stage, but he needed to get away. He needed to breathe.

“Seungyoun,” Wooseok called out. He walked away towards the back where the staff was. “Hey!”

He went to a place backstage that was used for storage where there weren’t any staff members. He wanted to double over and scream, but he couldn’t risk anyone hearing him. He ran his fingers through his own hair, threatening to pull it out at the roots. “What am I doing?”

“Seungyoun, what’s going on,” Seungwoo said, frowning. Wooseok was standing next to him with his arms folded over his chest.

Seungyoun jumped. “I didn’t know you guys were here. Sorry, let’s go back.”

Wooseok put his hand on his chest to stop him as if he wasn’t a field mouse. “No, talk to us.”

“It’s nothing,” he said. “I’m fine.”

“It was just one stage,” Seungwoo said. “It wasn’t even the original choreography to begin with. Don’t worry about it.”

“That’s not,” he started, but stopped himself. “You’re right. Everyone makes mistakes.”

He pushed himself between them to leave.

“You don’t have to choose, you know,” Wooseok said.

Seungyoun froze. He looked back and neither one of them looked upset. He was the only one who was upset.

“Up there, it's just for the fans,” Wooseok said. “Down here, it’s just us.”

Seungwoo nodded. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t worry,” Seungyoun repeated. Familiar. “Why did you make me promise that if it doesn’t matter?”

“I was jealous, but I didn’t make you promise anything,” Wooseok admitted. “I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal for you until I heard you go into Seungwoo’s room.”

“We didn’t,” Seungyoun said, but he stopped himself. He wasn’t ready for Seungwoo to find out what he did do with Wooseok.

“The dorms have thin walls,” Wooseok said. “I know you didn’t.”

“But you did,” Seungwoo said, understanding. “That’s what this is about, isn’t it?”

Seungyoun thought he was going to cry. “No…”

Seungwoo wrapped his arms around him and squeezed. “You don’t have to choose.”

“What do you mean?” He sniffled.

“Off stage, you don’t have to choose between us,” he said. “Unless you want to.”

He shook his head pathetically. “I don’t think I can.”

“No one’s feelings are going to get hurt,” Wooseok added. “No one is going to like you less.”

He couldn’t stand it anymore. This was like a weird intervention. He pulled away and took a breath. “How are you both okay with this? Someone please get mad at me.”

“No,” they said plainly.

“Why not?”

“Why should we be?” Wooseok said.

“Because I think I’m in love with both of you, and that’s not fair at all to anyone,” his voice shook, angry with himself.

Seungwoo and Wooseok looked at each other and nodded.

“You good with that?” Seungwoo asked him.

“Yep,” Wooseok said. “Come on, let’s go back before someone notices we’re missing.”

Seungyoun stood there dumbfounded like he was missing something. He saw Wooseok reach for Seungwoo’s hand before asking him how his leg was.

“It’s fine,” he said, kissing Wooseok on top of his head before they separated when they were out into the open.

“What,” he said before chasing after them. “What’s going on here?”

Seungwoo gave him a smug little smile. “Don’t worry about it.”

There were too many people around to get a proper explanation, and he wasn’t sure if a weight had been lifted or if he was so confused he didn’t have a chance to be stressed. And no matter what he did, he couldn’t find a chance to get either of them alone to demand an explanation. Was he being pranked? Was he being toyed with? What was going on?

Later that night he curled up in his bed almost furious. He felt like they had played a sick game with his feelings as if he didn’t matter. Some teammates they were. He’d show them. Next time he would grab Hangyul’s chin next time. Or maybe Yohan’s. He had enough of their WooWoo games.

His phone went off, and he saw that it was a text from Seungwoo. “Come to the roof.”

“No,” he pouted, but he got up anyway. He threw on his hoodie and went outside where he found both him and Wooseok sitting on the ground with a couple of drinks. “What are you guys doing?”

They shushed him and beckoned him over. “Have a drink. We’ve earned it.”

“Is anyone going to ever explain to me what’s going on,” he said as he sat down.

“What are you having a problem with,” Seungwoo asked as though he couldn’t possibly know.

“Are you two fucking with me?” He blurted out. “If this is because I like to joke around, it’s not right. I am a person with feelings.”

Wooseok kissed him to shut him up. His own cheeks burned, and he looked and Seungwoo in horror who was perfectly unbothered.

“You are fucking with me,” he said quietly, betrayed.

Wooseok sighed. “Not unless you want us to.”

Seungwoo moved to his side. “What part of ‘you don’t have to choose’ do you not understand?”

He was about to say something before Seungwoo kissed him too, and he thought he was going to have a heart attack.

“Drink up,” Wooseok said. “You’re already behind.”

“On what?” He said looking at them, sensing the double meaning.

“A lot,” Seungwoo laughed.

At first, he thought the tension was going to kill him. But then as the other two talked and flirted with each other as if they had been doing this a while, he finally started to relax. So Seungyoun had been late to the party. Seungwoo and Wooseok had started whatever it was that they were doing the night they were announced as finalists for the group. They found comfort in each other that the others wouldn’t understand because they had given up something they loved to be in X1. Both had reasons to be happy and to be devastated that they won, and they bonded over that. It was a secret they would have taken to their graves if they both hadn’t developed crushes on Seungyoun. He was always trying to brighten the mood, but he cared too deeply. They wanted to help him too, separately, because they both knew he was struggling for his own reasons.

The hotel room had been an accident. Wooseok was jealous, but not exactly for the reason he had expected. Sure, he was embarrassed that he had been left there hanging, and would have appreciated it if someone would have told him too, but he was jealous because he couldn’t do something like that with Seungwoo on stage.

He didn’t have the personality to get away with something like that. But then he admitted that he had had a crush on Seungyoun since Produce so there was that too, so he was mad at him. So when Seungyoun showed up in his hotel room looking like a lost puppy who couldn’t stand to see Wooseok upset, he lost control. He just wanted to touch him, and Seungyoun had given himself away. Wooseok had told Seungwoo about it the next day because they were always honest with each other, and Seungwoo had admitted that if he ever got the chance, he would have done the same thing too. But he couldn’t make that kind of move because there was too much at stake.

And then Seungyoun threw himself at him, and Seungwoo refused to sleep with him until he talked to Wooseok first. But he craved him, and he couldn’t help himself so he convinced him to stay the night with him. He could do that much. He let himself share his bed with someone he cared about, and it gave him the strength he needed to get through the pain in his leg.

They talked about it privately, and Wooseok suggested that they help encourage Seungyoun along. They didn’t want him to choose between them, but they needed him to realize that he didn’t want to before they brought up the concept of both of them.

The movie night had been a perfect opportunity. Wooseok pretended to fall asleep, and Seungyoun took the bait. He propped him up on his shoulder to rest, but then Wooseok had actually fallen asleep. That part was an accident. Once Wooseok was in position, Seungwoo reached for his hand. If Seungyoun pulled away, he had made a decision. But luckily for the three of them, he didn’t, and that lead to Seungwoo and Wooseok deciding it was time for them to offer the option.

Except the U Got It mistake happened, and they thought they had lost him. They didn’t see his panic because it happened so fast there wasn’t a chance to process. They were both flustered, but it was fine. They were professionals, but then Seungyoun practically ran off the stage, and they cared about him too much to let him beat himself up over a misstep.

That’s when they learned that it was his own feelings eating him alive, and that he hadn’t made a mistake. That they could deal with. He had been so confused that they thought it was adorable, and it was almost fun to play around with him.

He learned all of this as they recalled it fondly, not sure if he should feel relieved or like a foolish child.

“Do you like us?” Seungwoo asked.

He looked at them both, still not sure if this was a trap. “Maybe.”

Wooseok rested his head on his shoulder. “I like you.”

“Me too,” Seungwoo rested his on the other.

“This isn’t funny,” Seungyoun said.

They both snorted.

“Yes it is,” Seungwoo said. He kissed him on the cheek. “You smell nice.”

“It’s Chanel,” Wooseok said. “Don’t let him fool you.”

Seungyoun blinked. “This is my natural scent.”

“How fragrant,” Wooseok teased, kissing his other cheek.

“I hate this,” Seungyoun whined.

“No you don’t,” they said at the same time.

Seungyoun closed his eyes and sighed. At least with their debut promotions coming to an end, he would have the time to balance not one but two secret… boyfriends? Were they his boyfriends? Were they each others boyfriends? Was he their unicorn? What was his position in this love triangle? They were doing a terrible job of answering his questions that they weren’t giving him a chance to ask. Not that he minded getting interrupted with kisses, but it felt strategic. Like they were specifically avoiding addressing the situation directly.

He stood up and stood his ground. “Am I a unicorn?”

“A UNIQ fan?” Wooseok asked, confused.

“No! Like the side person in a relationship where you guys only use me when you need me, but I’m not actually a part of the relationship.”

Seungwoo’s eyes widened. He jumped up. “No! That’s not it at all! We just don’t know how…”

Wooseok stood up, waving his hands. “We don’t know how to ask is all! We didn’t plan this!”

Seungyoun breathed a sigh in relief. “Ok, you’re both just awkward.”

“Yes!” They shouted. Then they looked at each other and furrowed their brows.

“Wait, no that’s not right,” Seungwoo said.

“How are we supposed to do this,” Wooseok mumbled.

“I don’t know,” he mumbled about.

“What do you want,” Seungyoun said, speaking to both of them.

“You,” Wooseok said. “With us. For the next five years or however long we decide to do this. If you want to.”

His eyes lingered on his face for a moment. There was a hidden softness to him that disarmed him. Then he looked at Seungwoo who radiated warmth, but he was letting Wooseok take the lead because he was afraid. Once again, he put everything on the line. They both did. Besides him, they had the most to lose.

“Okay,” he said. “The three of us.”

Wooseok and Seungwoo were relieved. He walked back over and joined them. It was what he wanted too, once he thought about it. He wanted them both, but he had no idea what this meant for the U Got It stage, and he wasn’t ready to find out.