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Dick clenched his teeth hard to keep any comments and actions from bursting out of him. He wanted nothing more than to pummel the guy to the ground, but it wouldn’t do any good to anyone, least of all him.
He and his “partner” for the week were on patrol when they stumbled upon some suspicious activity. They had staked out an alley and it paid off a few hours later when they interrupted a drug trade. The alley was barely lit by the streetlamps at each end and a half-broken neon sign of a small bookstore long closed for the night. There were no fire escapes on the sides of the buildings, only two big trash containers standing next to each other at one wall. It was fairly easy to contain the gang members in there and take them in despite a few shots fired and two thugs now needing the hospital. Everything was going fine. Then there was a movement between the dumpsters, someone yelled, something steely gleamed in the low light, and in the next second Dick’s partner was shooting before Dick even had the chance to move to stop him. Dick just stood there in shocked stupor, the gunshot echoing in his mind, but this time there was no Blockbuster, no criminal that ruined lives of other people. This time there was a little girl, no more than ten years old, killed instantly, the pool of blood steadily growing beneath her still body.
Dick fought tooth and nail to put the cop in jail. However just a few days later the man was cleared of all charges and allowed to return to work, much to relief and joy of his coworkers.
Dick never felt so alone as he did the moment he found out there wouldn’t be any consequences for the killer of this little girl. He felt like he was the only one who gave a shit in the precinct. Hell, maybe in the whole damn city.
Dick was the one of the very, very few decent cops in Blüdhaven and the number got progressively lower despite Nightwing’s best efforts.
Dick thought he was doing fine. He moved out of the manor, got a job, a new superhero identity, his relationship with Kory was blooming. What more he could want? Slowly the thugs in Blüdhaven started whispering Nightwing’s name with trepidation. It wasn’t the fear Batman usually put into criminals, but it was pretty damn close.
And then Jason died. Mirage happened and Kori broke up with him. Desmond decided that Nightwing became too much of a nuance and made his life harder. Catalina showed up and he took her under his wing, trying so hard to steer her in the right way despite slowly drowning in responsibilities and guilt himself. And then Blockbuster hit Haley’s and Dick’s building and Tarantula killed him and… Yeah. Then the good cops started disappearing at an alarming rate and Dick didn’t know how to stop it. Isolated and broken, he started to wonder if he made any difference at all. The last straw that broke the camel’s back was that little girl. His way wasn’t working. Batman’s way wasn’t working. Not in this city that was rotten to the core.
Dick was ashamed that he even thought about it, but he didn’t see any other choice. Organized crime seemed a lot better than what Blüdhaven has now. Besides, Batman had a good working relationship with some of his supervillains. Take Penguin for example. When he sits tight in his Ice Lounge the Bats leave him alone and they could trade info or small favors. Maybe Dick could set up something similar with someone. But the question was with who?
So between his day and night job he started gathering information about every villain worth considering for this position.
This is how he stumbled upon a rising criminal star – Red Hood. He went to Gotham to gather more info and fought the man at Batman’s side. He had to admit Red Hood was good. Too good even. With a badly sprained knee he was sent back to loneliness and misery in Blüdhaven, but that was probably because he kept singing praises of the criminal, and the Bat didn’t want to deal with his supposed crush. Which Dick didn’t have. At all. Those tights were just like any other average tights, thank you. However, after he heard about the blow out with Red Hood, Joker and Bruce he decided to take an even closer look.
Sacrificing the time he really didn’t have, Dick secretly went back to Gotham and tailed Red Hood. The criminal quickly caught onto him and disappeared, so Dick had to content himself with watching his men.
And Dick was confused and intrigued with what he had found. Red Hood’s high ranks were all ex-military, many of them without a job and with family to support. His men regularly patrolled Red Hood’s territory and stopped crime, volunteered in shelters and organized various classes for the community. They made drugs deals, but stuck to Red Hood’s rule: not dealing to children and to not involve children with drug trades.
Dick had to take a break after he learned that. He imagined what would happen if Red Hood established himself in Blüdhaven instead of Gotham. Would at least the kids be safer then? Would that little girl be still alive then?
Dick could hardly believe himself when he dressed into his Nightwing suit and pointed his bike at Gotham. He decided he was going to do this. He was going to find Red Hood and offer him Blüdhaven.
Finding Red Hood proved to be not as easy as it sounded. Dick was resourceful, but it seemed Red Hood knew every trick Dick might use and avoided him. So Nightwing decided to talk to some of his men. It didn't go very well.
He had to shout he just wanted to talk, dodging bullets flying at him. It didn't do him any good and he went back to Blüdhaven licking his wounds.
The next night Red Hood's men begrudgingly didn't shoot at him, but weren't chatty either. For a week Dick tried to find the man without success. Bruce was broodingly tight lipped about the criminal and Robin just told him to leave Red Hood alone.
Dick contemplated giving up and finding someone else, but he wanted to work with Red Hood the more he learned about his operations. The non-existent crush and killing aside.
Nightwing was on top of the building spying on one of Red Hood’s top men gathering info in a bar, when he heard the heavy thump on the other side of the roof. He turned around and saw a tall man with a leather jacket and red helmet, with a gun strapped to powerful tights.
“I heard you were looking for me,” Red Hood drawled. He was leaning against the staircase entrance with his arms crossed, one leg lifted and resting on the wall, ready to push him into action if necessary. His pose was loose and relaxed as if Dick wasn’t any danger to him. And it as well might be true, Dick knew how good Red Hood was in a fight. That, and he had a bunch of loyal men that could be hidden around them right now. Nightwing didn’t sense anyone close, but it didn’t mean there weren’t any guns aimed at him.
Shit. What had he got himself into? But he was committed, and he wasn’t giving up now that he had the man in front of him.
“I was,” Dick straightened to make himself seem confident, putting on a smile. He felt small and insignificant in the face of Red Hood’s everything, despite being a grown-up badass vigilante with seniority and experience no other sidekick had. “I wanted to meet you on more friendly terms.”
“We’re not friends,” Red Hood snorted and pushed off the wall, casually strolling to stand just before Nightwing.
“It doesn’t mean we can’t be,” Dick replied brightly. Man, this man was tall. And bulky with muscles. Dick resisted the urge to step back at the looming presence. Or step forward and swoon.
“What do you want?” Red Hood growled.
“Can’t a man talk to his fellow vigilante?”
“I have nothing to say to you, Nightwing,” Red Hood replied. “Or to the Bat.”
“But we would make such a good team if we all could just work together.”
Red Hood tensed and Dick eyed Hood’s hand straying to the gun nervously.
“Never gonna happen. Stop wasting time for both of us.”
“Or what?” Nightwing pushed stupidly. “You’ll kill me?”
“I will,” the criminal deadpanned. “So leave me alone and stop bothering my men.”
With that Red Hood turned his back on him and walked away.
Dick swallowed. He was losing his chance and he couldn’t afford that. Blüdhaven couldn’t afford that. He couldn’t go to Bruce. He worked too hard to be independent and out of the Batman’s shadow. Crawling back would just prove the damn Bat he was right all along and Dick was useless without him. Dick would rather die than give the bastard that satisfaction. So Dick pushed away whatever pride he had left and did something he was always telling everyone else to do, but himself very rarely did.
“I need help,” Nightwing choked out, clenching his jaw and fists defensively immediately after.
Red Hood stopped and slowly the helmeted head turned to look at him.
Dick stared back resolutely.
Red Hood turned to him fully and approached him again. The sad sigh and a hand cupping his cheek had Dick freezing in place, eyes wide. A gloved thumb gently swept back and forth just under the edge of Dick’s mask.
“What happened for you to ask someone like me for help, Pretty Bird?” the crime lord asked softly. “Don’t you have an entire Batclan and superhero clubs at your beck and call?”
“I-” Dick floundered. He didn’t know what to think. This was the man who was threatening to kill him not even a minute ago and now he was all soft and sweet.
Dick blinked as the hand left his face and patted his head.
“Go home, Nightwing,” Red Hood definitely sounded amused now. “We’ll talk later.”
Dick was left there gaping as the criminal flung himself off the roof and disappeared.
Dick really should have known better than go on patrol with so little sleep. But this was the gang the members of which he arrested the night the little girl died and he just couldn’t let that opportunity go. So he was paying for it now.
The room was spinning, he couldn’t focus. He stumbled around like a drunkard, waving his hands around himself for purchase and to keep anyone away. The men surrounding him laughed, straining his confused senses. He felt some of them pushing him around, prompting more laughter as he ineffectively tried to fight them off. He was too slow and uncoordinated. Whatever they gave him made the colors sharper, light too bright. It disturbed his equilibrium and his body felt heavy and too light at the same time. Someone suggested they should have their way with him. Heart in his throat Dick stumbled away in a panic. No, they couldn’t. He couldn’t live through that again.
The lights went off. The men started shouting and cursing in confusion. Blindly, Dick swayed toward what he hoped was the direction of the wall. Someone grabbed him. Dick struggled with everything he had. His wrists were grabbed and pulled up and together, leaving them in a strong one-handed grip he couldn’t break from, much to his humiliation. A leg wrapped around his own, trapping them between the legs of his attacker and he could feel the strong, tall body pressed to his back. A hand touched him, stroking slow and long along his flank and Dick jerked, instinctively throwing his head back in defense and instead of the face he was expecting, he hit something that amounted to a brick wall. Pain exploded in the back of his skull, disorienting him even further.
“Shit!” Dick heard next to his ear as his body was arranged to be pulled even tighter against his assailant. He had his hands in front of him now, held fast to his chest by arms of steel closed around his upper body. His legs were still trapped. And now Dick’s head was held between neck and shoulder of the person that was holding him, restricting his movements.
“It’s just me,” Red Hood said. “Calm down.”
“Hood?” Dick stopped struggling. He didn’t know what the criminal was doing here, but he trusted him a hell of a lot more than his captors. His head was spinning, and he felt like he was falling despite knowing he was securely held against Red Hood.
“Yeah,” Red Hood loosened his hold slightly now that Dick didn’t fight to free himself. “Close your eyes, Dickie, the lights will turn on in a second.”
Dick closed his eyes obediently, knowing that something was wrong with that sentence. He made a pained sound when the brightness sent a stab of pain into his skull and pushed his face into Red Hood’s neck, which seemed presented to him invitingly. Gradually Dick got used to the light and opened his eyes as much as his aching head allowed.
The thugs that captured him were being rounded-up by Red Hood’s men. Their supplies of weapons and drugs were in the process of being carried out.
“Can you stand on your own?” Red Hood asked and Dick realized the criminal was still holding him patiently. “I need to take care of something real quick.”
“Yeah,” Nightwing whispered shakily and desperately tried to seem steady on his feet when Red Hood slowly let him go.
“Good, stay here.”
Dick hummed vaguely, trying to ignore the vertigo and swirls of colors the warehouse turned into. His body started tingling weirdly and was it always that hot here?
“Red?” he whispered, after what felt like hours, just before he fell. He didn’t feel anything, but suddenly he found himself blinking at the ceiling. There was some commotion Dick didn’t pay any attention to, too busy watching the ever changing shapes in the air.
“Nightwing!” Red Hood appeared in his line of vision. His normally red helmet now in various shades of reddish pink.
“Pink,” Dick giggled. “Hot.”
“What?”
“Your head,” Dick clarified, waving his hand in the vague direction of the helmet. “It’s all pink. It’s very pretty.”
“Oh for the love of-” Red Hood muttered and pulled the helmet off.
Dick was sad to see it go, he really liked the mix of pinks on it. He blinked rapidly as a wave of heat went through his body, making him groan and causing his vision to swim and swirl nauseatingly. A blurry face looked down on him as hands roamed Dick’s form to check for injures.
Slowly it came into focus. The defined jaw, full lips, pink domino, silky black hair with white streak at the front. And most importantly a very familiar face. He often wondered what Jason would look like when he was older, and this face certainly fit that image.
“Jason,” Dick whispered, his vision blurring again with tears. He knew the drugs made him see things, but it didn’t stop the familiar feelings of loss and grief rearing their heads from where Dick kept pushing them down. He missed his little brother so much.
“What?” Jason’s ghost asked, busy with hauling Nightwing’s limp body into his arms.
Without the helmet Red Hood’s voice was deep and rough and would have sent shivers down his spine if Dick wasn’t already losing consciousness.
He came to for a while in the car, shivering and writhing at the burning sensation spreading inside his body.
“You’re going to be fine,” Jason soothed. “It’ll be okay.”
He was still with him, holding him and Dick curled into the man with a sob. The pain he was feeling took a backseat in the wake of having his little brother back with him.
Jason continued to murmur reassurances and pet his hair and shoulder and Dick blacked out again.
The next time Dick woke up, Alfred was tending to him in the Batcave. Jason was nowhere to be seen and he lurched up in a panic. He needed to find Jason. He needed Jason with him. But searing fire consumed his body, making him scream. A few moments later, a numbing sensation dulled the pain, but it also pulled him back into the black oblivion.
This time Dick woke up laying on something soft. He felt sluggish and numb, so the painkillers were still in his system, thankfully keeping the fire at bay. He blinked at the ceiling and what else he could see of the room without moving and concluded he was in his room at the manor.
“Dickie?” someone said lowly from next to him.
He could feel something rub carefully at the back of his left hand and he realized that someone was holding his hand.
Dick turned his head with effort to look at the person who spoke and stopped breathing.
Jason was back. He was sitting by the bed like he belonged there, smiling softly. Though he looked tired.
“Hey there, Sweetheart,” Jason drawled. “You’re going to be fine. It’s almost over.”
Over? Dick didn’t understand. Over what? His time with Jason?
The thought chilled him to the bone. No! It couldn’t be! He barely even talked to him!
“Jason,” Dick croaked. He didn’t even notice how rough his voice was, as if he had been screaming the entire night.
Dick desperately tried to throw himself into his little brother’s arms, but his efforts were futile. His body didn’t want to obey him and the painkillers were already dragging him under again.
“Shh, I’m here,” Jason soothed, gently running his warm, large hand over Dick’s cheek. “Just go back to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Dick closed his eyes against his will, the fresh wave of grief filling his being. He was losing the battle of staying conscious in this wonderful dream, to be with Jason even those few seconds longer. It wasn’t fair!
When Dick woke up in the morning, feeling good and refreshed, he was alone. He muffled the few sobs he allowed himself into the pillow and got up. There was no sense in wallowing in misery over a hallucination. Jason wouldn’t want him to.
He was coming downstairs, still fresh from shower when he met Tim.
“Oh, you’re up,” the boy smiled. “How are you feeling?”
“Better,” Dick cleared his throat because his voice was too raspy. “Thirsty.”
Tim hummed with a nod.
“Let Alfred check you over anyway. B and Hood are out. They reached their limit of being in the same space as each other and went away before they got into a fight.”
“Hood?” Dick echoed, startled.
“Yeah. He was with you the entire time. There was some Ivy pollen in the drug they gave you and his presence seemed to help you with the worst of the symptoms. We think it was because he touched your skin first.”
“Oh,” Dick colored slightly in embarrassment and shame.
He vaguely recalled Red Hood showing up at the warehouse, but the rest was a blur of heat and Jason. Did he cling to Red Hood, hallucinating him being Jason the entire time he was drugged? Great. Now he would not be able to look the man in the eyes at all, not that he could, with the ever-present helmet. And whatever interest Hood had in helping him was certainly lost now.
“Right.”
“Just...” Tim looked at him for a minute and shook his head. “Be careful, okay? Red Hood is not exactly stable.”
“Okay,” Dick promised in confusion.
Dick locked his door and tossed his keys in the basket. He started stripping, leaving a trail of clothes on his way to the secret compartment where he kept Nightwing suit.
He had spent another day at the manor for observation as Alfred insisted, and he needed to go on patrol now. Two days without Nightwing, Dick dreaded the chaos the city most definitely sank into in his absence. Not that it seemed he did any good, but he was sure without him it would be even worse.
Dick checked his equipment and left through the window. He climbed onto the roof and found it already occupied.
“Hi,” Red Hood greeted, looking at the city. “How are you feeling?”
“Uh,” Nightwing cleared his throat, hand going to rub the back of his neck. He hadn’t expected to meet with the man so soon after this entire fiasco. “I’m fine. Thank you for your help.”
“There are other ways you can thank me,” the criminal looked over at him and Dick had a feeling he was waggling his eyebrows comically under that damned helmet.
“Excuse me?” Nightwing flushed red despite being sure Red Hood was just teasing or had other, definitely non-sexual ways in mind.
Not that Dick would be entirely against it. Those muscles and tights were definitely drool worthy and the man could be gentle when he wasn’t fighting. He was also strong and warm and could easily pin Dick down and have his way with him. But he was a criminal and Dick wasn’t really sure he could trust that man with this. Just look what happened with Catalina. And they were on a rooftop. No rooftops for these kind of things ever again.
The taller man laughed. He looked at the city one more time and casually strolled to where Dick was standing.
“You said you wanted my help,” he stated, coming to a stop just out of reach. “Something tells me you didn’t mean those idiot drug dealers I saved you from. So, what is it?”
“I want you to expand your operation to Blüdhaven.”
Red Hood stood still for a long minute. Dick fidgeted with nervous energy.
“I’m sorry, what?” the criminal sounded dumbfounded even with the voice modulator.
“I’m giving you Blüdhaven,” Nightwing explained. “With conditions, of course.”
“Are you insane?” Red Hood made a motion like he wanted to grab his hair, but remembered he had helmet on. “Did those drugs scramble your brain or something? How that would help you?”
“Organized crime is far better than the mess in Blüdhaven now. You have rules, no exceptions. Those who break those rules end up as an example for others. Which is very rare, because your men are loyal to you. Not all of them are bad even. You give jobs to those who need it and help around. Especially kids. Kids are safe in your territory. And that’s a whole lot more than I could ask for from any other crime lord.”
“And what I would get from this if I potentially agreed?”
“You would expand your territory. I would help you take down any major players and unless you plan something big, I wouldn’t interfere with your affairs… too much, because let’s be honest here, you’re still a criminal. And I would keep other Bats away from you.”
“Shit. You’re serious,” Red Hood sounded awed.
“I am,” Dick confirmed with conviction.
“I...” Red Hood turned to pace away a few steps and shook his head. “I need to think about it.”
“Of course,” Dick promptly replied, hiding his disappointment. He couldn’t fault a guy for not jumping right into it. It would take a lot time and effort to establish business in Nightwing’s city even with hero’s help. Dick was just anxious to do everything right this moment.
“Aw, don’t be so down, Pretty Bird, it wasn’t a flat-out no.”
“It wasn’t a yes either,” Dick shot back.
“Which brings back the question: why me? Where’s your Batclan and your superfriends?”
Dick opened his mouth, but no answer came. At least not one he was willing to share with the man. Fortunately, he was saved from the interrogation by a scream a few blocks away. He was ready to leap off the roof when strong hands grabbed him in the middle, pulling him into strong body briefly.
“I will find out,” Red Hood whispered into his ear before he stepped around Nightwing to head in the direction of the crime happening.
Dick stood there in shock, the man’s warmth fading quickly from his back. His thoughts and feelings a tangled mess.
He was irritated by Red Hood’s audacity to even think he had any right to know Dick’s personal matters and to touch him so casually. He was nervous and afraid, because there was a real possibility that Dick would let Red Hood in. He was reeling, because nobody touched had him in any way after that horrible night on the roof besides Red Hood, and God, if he’d held him even a second longer, he would have gladly melted into the other man’s arms.
Another scream was heard. Right, no time for that now. He shook himself out of his stupor and followed.
Two days later Dick came home from his long shift at work to find Red Hood in his living room making final check on his guns. There was a laptop and some papers on the coffee table that don’t belong to Dick and two duffle bags laid next to the couch.
Dick stopped and stared, too stupefied to decide what he wanted to do with the situation.
Red Hood twirled the pistols and holstered them, cocking his helmeted head at him.
“Hey, Dickie,” the criminal greeted cheerfully. “You up for patrol?”
It was surreal. Somewhere in the back of his mind Dick was aware that Red Hood might know who he was. The man took him to the Batcave and stayed with him at the manor and then met him on the roof of his apartment building after all. But it didn’t sink in until now.
“Wha-” Dick cleared his throat, mentally cursing as his voice broke. “What are you doing here?”
“Building a criminal empire takes time, you know,” Red Hood shrugged. “The commute from Gotham to Blüdhaven and back would be a nightmare alone. And why waste time looking for some hideout when you have perfect digs right here?”
“I see,” Dick managed.
Red Hood wanted to live with him?! Here, in Dick’s apartment? While he built his empire? Because he didn’t want to go between the cities- Wait.
“Does that mean you’re agreeing to... Nightwing’s offer?” Dick asked, not ready to confirm his identity. Bruce would have his head if he did and it turned out Red Hood was only guessing right now.
“It wouldn’t hurt to check the competition here,” Red Hood shrugged. “Are you coming or not?”
“Coming where?” Dick played dumb.
Red Hood stared at him for a moment and then reached behind him and pulled a stick. He threw it at Dick and Dick caught it easily. He looked down and realized he was holding one of his own escrima.
“You need better security, Wing,” Red Hood drawled and left through the window. “You’re it!”
Dick stared after him for a moment, stunned, but then smirked. So Red Hood wanted to play, huh? The man didn’t know what he got himself into.
After a chase that took longer than Dick liked – Red Hood really was good – Dick managed to catch up with the criminal. Although going by the look he gave him, Dick couldn’t help but feel like Red Hood allowed him to. That irritated Dick. He knew he wasn’t at his best right now, but he didn’t need any pity or favors or special treatment from anyone, thank you very much.
“There, there, Sweetheart,” Red Hood soothed, patting Dick’s head. “You need your strength for the rest of patrol. Heard there’s a deal at the dock in half an hour. Why don’t you take care of that? I’ll head on to check on the remnants of that gang of yours.”
Dick bristled, but Red Hood just continued to pet him. Dick refused to feel comforted.
“I’m just trying to help, okay? You look tired.”
Dick slapped away his hand with a growl and ran away.
Beating up the thugs and stopping the drug deal felt good and Dick had almost forgotten his Red Hood problem. Almost. He was forced to face the issue when he got home and saw Red Hood’s things laying around. He didn’t try to touch them. God knows what traps the criminal put on them. He just hoped that the bags didn’t contain severed heads.
Dick went to take a shower and change and then decided to sweep the apartment for bugs. He didn’t find any new ones and he faltered. He was so sure Red Hood wanted to have him under surveillance, he was almost disappointed. That didn’t mean that the criminal wouldn’t put some down later though.
Dick took out his phone and called the Batcave. He didn’t want to risk radio when Red Hood might be eavesdropping on their frequency.
“Hello?” Tim answered, sounding distracted.
“Hey, Timmy,” Dick smiled. “Isn’t it a little late for you to be still up?”
“I’m working on a case,” the teenager muttered. “Is something wrong?”
“Red Hood moved in with me,” Dick said, immediately cringing at the expected shouting and accusations.
“Hmm, that’s nice,” Tim intoned. “With him out of the way, I’ll be able to finish, like… six cases. I swear, the asshole is doing this on purpose.”
“What?” Dick asked faintly. He expected concern and anger that he was associating with a known criminal and letting him stay at his home.
“Red Hood always gets in my way when I’m on a case,” Tim complained, clearly mistaking Dick’s confused question with the need of clarifying Red Hood’s actions rather than Dick’s overall ‘what the fuck is happening’ kind. “Oh! Hey, I gotta go. I just got a break in the case. Thanks, Dick. Bye!”
“Bye...” Dick muttered to the dial tone. It seemed like he was alone with this too. Nothing new there.
Dick shook his head with a sigh and decided to call it a night. He didn’t think he would be able to get any sleep knowing that the crime lord would be coming to his apartment, but he was out the second his head hit the pillow.
Dick was slightly surprised that he woke up in the morning. Red Hood had every opportunity to finish him off in his sleep. Then again, the criminal hadn’t taken other opportunities presented to him before, and he even helped him. Something eased a little in Dick’s chest and he felt marginally safer.
He frowned when he walked into the living room and didn’t find any of Red Hood’s things. There wasn’t even the slightest trace and Dick started to doubt the man was even there. Maybe the drug was still affecting him, despite Alfred giving him a clean bill of health. But no, there was breakfast laid out for him on the kitchen counter along with a paper bag with some sandwiches for him to take to work. There was also a note wishing him a good day.
Dick grinned all the way to the precinct.
When Dick got back, his apartment was a lot cleaner than he left it and dinner was waiting for him on the stove with a folder containing files for some of his cases. Dick ate the delicious food, reading the files and adding notes. When he was done, he rested for an hour or two and went on patrol. He didn’t see Red Hood that night, but the next morning he found breakfast ready for him again.
It was a pattern that had repeated itself for a week now. Dick saw Red Hood only on patrol, when they worked cases together, and once when he got back from work and the criminal was leaving to do his business for the night. Even so, Dick was feeling a lot less lonely, knowing that someone would be waiting for him at home. He slept better than he had in a long time, had regular full meals, and started to have hope that his alliance with Red Hood would really work out.
And the touches. Oh, the touches. They were driving Dick mad as well as sating his need for human contact. Red Hood made sure to touch Nightwing in some way that didn’t involve mock fighting or helping every time they’ve met. Just for a few seconds, careful and gentle, but it was enough for Dick to crave more. To fantasize how those hands would feel on the rest of his body. On his bare skin.
Ugh! Red Hood really made himself hard to hate. It probably was his intention and he was just bidding his time before he struck, but Dick cared about that less and less as the time went by.
Dick even admitted to himself he was doing better since Red Hood started living with him, so when he gasped awake from a nightmare it struck him harder than he expected.
It was dark in his room. Even darker than usual, because he closed the curtains shut to cut off any lights coming in and now it just made things worse. But even then, he could tell someone was looming over him.
“Dickie?” a soft voice whispered, and Dick lashed out in defense, still shaken by the dream.
“Whoa! Dick!” his arms were grabbed in a firm grip and pinned to the bed. “It’s okay! It’s just me. You’re okay. You’re safe. Shhh.”
Dick cased his struggle as he heard familiar voice and he let himself lay limply in the warm hold. His first thought was it was Jason again, but he knew it wasn’t possible. That it was just Red Hood without his helmet. It was too dark to see his face, but Dick couldn’t care less.
“Shhh. That’s it. Just breathe,” the criminal droned softly until Dick calmed down.
“I’m sorry,” Dick muttered, turning away from the comforting touch.
“Hey,” Red Hood scolded gently. “It’s okay. Want to tell me what it was about?”
Dick bit his tongue to keep himself from replying, because he found he actually wanted to tell Red Hood. It would be so easy too. Red Hood was a stranger. He didn’t really know Dick and didn’t have any high expectations when it came to him. He'd already seen Dick at his lowest. With the drug, how helpless he had been, and now, how he was freaked out by a damned dream.
Well, that was a new level of low, baring his soul to a criminal he struck a deal with. That thought amused Dick and made it easier for him to push the words out of his mouth.
“I’ve been raped,” he started. He told Red Hood about Catalina, about his break up with Barbara, about Blockbuster, about the bomb and fire, about how worthless and alone he felt. All the time Red Hood remained a steady presence at his side. Still and unmoving, save the hand gently running along his back in comfort.
Eventually Dick finished, drained physically and emotionally.
“You know none of this is your fault, right?” Red Hood said after it became clear Dick was done with his confession. “Those assholes took advantage of the situation. You’re not to blame for any of this.”
“You don’t know that,” Dick replied hoarsely. “You weren’t there.”
“And I’m sorry for that,” Red Hood’s voice was sorrowful, confusing Dick. “But I know there is no way any of this was your fault. I know you don’t think so, but I’ll tell you that until you believe it and then some more. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” Dick whispered.
“Good. You think you will be able to go to back sleep?”
“I don’t know,” Dick was exhausted, but he didn’t think he would manage to sleep.
Red Hood sighed.
“Scooch over,” he requested. “If it’s okay?”
“I don’t know,” Dick repeated.
“Alright. I’m going to slowly lie down next to you. If you don’t like it at any time, just say so and I’ll back off and I won’t be angry or disappointed, okay?”
“Okay.”
Dick lied breathlessly as Red Hood carefully slid into bed with him. The criminal lied down on the covers, slowly inching his arm around his waist. Dick waited for panic and his reflexes to kick in, but nothing of the sort happened. The touch was familiar by now and welcome. He was warm and safe, and he relaxed into the hold, scooting closer into the broad chest.
“This okay?” Red Hood checked.
“Yes.”
“Good. Try to get some sleep now.”
Dick hummed his agreement and fell asleep to Red Hood’s gentle strokes over his arm.
When Dick woke up in the morning, he was alone. Dick was disappointed until he saw a note on his bedside table. It said Red Hood got him a free day at work to rest and that the criminal had to go help Robin on a case. It also mentioned that Alfred would be checking on Dick about noon. Dick got to spend the rest of the day with the man he considered to be his grandfather for the first in a long time and he enjoyed himself. He didn’t even patrol that night, deciding to laze around some more.
Dick felt lighter somehow. As if heavy burden was lifted off his shoulders. Red Hood knew now all of his failures and didn’t treat him any differently, so there was a small hope that his family might do so as well when Dick was ready to tell them.
Red Hood’s settling in Blüdhaven was going nicely too, adding to Dick’s good mood. They took out two major gangs to make room for Red Hood to plant roots and the criminal focused on securing and expanding his influence. It made him so busy, he didn’t come home for few days much to Dick’s disappointment and worry, but Hood made it up to him by giving him tips and leads to follow for some of his cases.
Nightwing was following one of such leads now, which guided him to Gotham. He met Batman, who followed the same clue. They teamed up and in no time had the gang beaten down and ready for the police to pick up.
“Well, it was fun,” Nightwing bounced on his toes happily.
Batman grunted.
Right. Doom and glum and brooding. Well, Dick still had too much energy to burn to even begin to wade through the sea of angst and constipation, so he turned to leave.
“How is Red Hood doing?”
Batman’s almost hesitant question made him pause. He frowned and turned back to the Bat.
“He’s fine,” Dick replied, scrutinizing his father figure.
The older man seemed unsure for some reason. And why he would ask about Red Hood?
“Neither of you visited manor recently,” Batman stated. “Agent A began to worry.”
“Okay?” Dick said in confusion. Bruce wanted him to bring Red Hood to the manor? A criminal that wanted to kill Batman and Robin not so long ago? Dick really was off of his game, because he was clearly missing something here.
“You both should come,” Batman decided. “At your earliest convenience.”
“Oh, uh,” Dick floundered. “Yeah, I’ll ask him then?”
“Good.” Now that everything was as Batman wanted, the man flipped his cape dramatically and vanished from the rooftop.
“What the hell?” Dick muttered.
Dick put off telling Red Hood about the invitation as long as his conscience allowed him. He knew it wouldn’t go over too well, the man still was plenty hostile when it came to Batman and he didn’t want to upset the balance and camaraderie he found with Red Hood. But he couldn’t put it off forever. The criminal was planning to go to Gotham and there was huge chance that he would meet Batman and Robin and then it would come out that Dick was hiding things from him.
So Dick left the police station early, bought groceries and went home with the intention of making dinner this time. It wouldn’t be anything fancy and definitely not as delicious as Red Hood made it, but Dick could pull off a decent dish or two when he wanted.
Dick closed the door to his apartment and kicked off his shoes, hanging his jacket on the hanger. He heaved the bags up and moved to the kitchen.
“That you, Dick?” Red Hood’s voice came from the living room. “Everything alright? You’re back early.”
Dick smiled and made a detour to put the man’s worry to rest. He stepped into the living room and opened his mouth to greet his roommate and froze. The bags fell from his suddenly numb fingers, spilling the contents everywhere.
There was Red Hood alright, but it was the first time Dick had seen him without his helmet. He wasn’t even wearing the mask Dick heard he does underneath.
Red Hood looked up from the laptop in alarm.
“Dick?” he asked putting computer aside and getting up from the couch to stand in front of the older male.
Jason, because it was Jason , oh God, cupped Dick’s face gently.
“What is it, Sweetheart?”
Dick grabbed his wrists. His warm, solid wrists. Oh God it was real. Jason was really here.
“Jason,” Dick choked out, eyes wet.
Jason’s own widened at the sight and he gently, if a little frantically, wiped Dick’s tears away.
“Dick, what happened? What’s wrong?”
“You’re here,” Dick hiccupped. “You’re really here.”
“Where else would I be?” Jason asked in confusion. “I’ve been here the last few weeks.”
“You’re alive!” Dick sobbed, throwing himself at Jason.
Red Hood caught him easily and let Dick calm down somewhat before he started shaking from suppressed laughter.
“Some detective you are,” Jason chuckled. “You had enough clues and you still didn’t know I’m Red Hood.”
“It’s not funny!” Dick cried and hit Jason in the arm, causing him to laugh out loud. “Stop it!” Dick growled hitting him again.
Jason just laughed harder, breaking the embrace to clutch at his stomach.
“It’s. Not. Funny.” Dick punctuated each word with a hit, but his lips twitched up and the tears dried from his eyes.
Still laughing, Jason pulled Dick to him, overbalancing them both. He firmly trapped Dick under his bigger and heavier body.
Dick stayed still, entranced by the sight. He didn’t think he would ever see Jason laugh again. See him grow up. See him.
Jason’s laughter slowly died down and he looked at Dick with warm, soft eyes. He lifted one hand and brushed aside a lock of hair falling into his eye, then leaned down and kissed his forehead.
Dick sighed in contentment and planted his own kisses over Jason’s neck, on his jaw, reveling in the feel of him. That Jason was alive.
Jason moved his head slightly to kiss Dick’s cheek and Dick moved at the same time to get better access and they ended up kissing corners of each other’s mouth. Another slight movement and their lips met fully without any hesitation. A moment later the kiss deepened into a full battle of tongues.
“So,” Jason said quietly when they broke apart to breathe and he got his fill of the sight of a flushed Dick Grayson. “Want to have life affirming sex?”
Dick pulled him down for another kiss and wrapped his legs around Jason’s waist in answer.
