Work Text:
Hokage was a terrible, tedious job, and Kakashi couldn’t understand why anyone would want to do it. Obito and Naruto were both even crazier than he’d always known they were. He loved them both, but if this was their dream, they were just nuts.
The paperwork was never-ending. Stacks of laws, bylaws, mission reports, infrastructure, ordinances… It all made Kakashi’s head spin.
The formalities were even worse. He hated being put in the spotlight for everyone to worship or scrutinize, and he hated the fact that he even had to act the part, like a good, formal, obedient diplomat and a stable, capable leader and public servant.
And the worst part of the job was the elders. The elders were the worst possible combination of relentless, judgmental, and annoying. Kakashi wasn’t sure what he would do if he had to endure one more meeting where they criticized everything he did and lamented, “It’s a shame, Danzo would have handled this position so much better. It’s really pitiful, the good die so young.”
It’s true, the good do die young. But, then again, Danzo’s dead, and Guy’s alive, so it’s a crapshoot.
Kakashi stared into the distance absent-mindedly as he made his way to the front door. The day’s stress all started to melt away at the sight of their home, just a bit.
He’d given up his apartment since Guy had to give up his. This had been their compromise. A one-story house, built in the same place where the Hatake clan house used to be, since that land still belonged to Kakashi anyway.
They got to plan and design it together. Out of the way and big enough for eight ninken to run around. Wide and flat enough to be navigated in a wheelchair. Far enough from the rest of the village that Kakashi and Guy could have some degree of privacy, if they pretended not to notice the ANBU guards constantly stalking their hokage.
A perfect house for the two of them.
As soon as he walked inside, he was nearly tripped by trays and trays of plants splayed all over the floor— periwinkles and sunflowers and potato vines and strawberry shoots and vegetable buds. Mr. Ukki sat just out of the way of the other plants, up atop the coffee table, like he was the one in charge of keeping the unruly group in line. It was a haphazard mix of colors and textures, and just from that, he already knew he’d find Guy in the backyard, pulling up the yard, sweaty and covered in dirt.
Kakashi didn’t care if Guy was covered in mud and sweat and green goo, he just wanted to be near him, wanted him to chase away the last of Kakashi’s stress. He wanted Guy’s clever fingers on Kakashi’s body, kneading and pressing into tense muscles, wanted that smile pressed against his skin.
Setting down his bag and his hat by the door, Kakashi snuck around the side of the house and found Guy exactly where he thought he’d be: head buried in freshly planted shrubs, up to his elbows in dirt, white T-shirt soaked with sweat and dirt. Kakashi and Tenten had worked so hard to get Guy to occasionally wear other clothes, and here he was, using them to do garden work.
Kakashi would be mad about that, if it didn’t suit Guy so well.
He leaned against the side of the house, taking a moment to admire Guy’s youthful tenacity. He couldn’t help but stare at Guy’s unconventional attractiveness; moments like this, it was hypnotic. Kakashi was completely and utterly in love with a man more scar than skin and all the more beautiful for it.
The hose attached to the house was still dripping. Guy must have just been watering the other side of the plant bed right before Kakashi had shown up.
“Guy,” he called, fighting a grin. “Why are you out here talking to plants? Going senile already?”
Guy’s head popped up from under a dark purple potato vine, a large straw hat shielding his eyes from the sun, and a lazy smile on his face. He rocked back onto his heel, carefully arranging himself so his bad leg was out of the way enough for him to kneel on his other knee.
“Kakashi!” Guy brushed the dirt from his hands. “I’m just letting these guys,” he jerked a thumb over his shoulder, “Get acquainted to their new home! I want them to have the space to grow and stretch to their fullest potential!” He shot a prideful grin in Kakashi’s direction. “And since I’m doing all the hard work on the garden while you laze away in that office job of yours, naturally, I’ll get to decide what we use them for!”
If Guy had his way, every single thing in this garden would all be used for curry. Kakashi wasn’t going to stand by and let that happen. And… Office job? What? Do you think I asked to be Hokage? Kakashi rolled his eyes. “Sorry that I’m not working as hard as you nowadays,” he said sarcastically.
Guy’s resulting fit of laughter helped Kakashi feel more at ease after the long day, and even if he had been genuinely annoyed, it would have melted away at the sight of that smile. It gave Kakashi a moment to smile and laugh as well.
“That’s okay!” He offered Kakashi a thumbs up. “You’re still my dear, beloved rival, and I’ll forgive you, since you’re here to help me now! Let’s see which of us can prep the garden bed the best! What do you say? Not too tired for another competition, are you?”
Kakashi pretended to consider the offer, even though Guy already knew he’d say yes, eventually. “Well… Hm…”
“Kakashiiiiii,” Guy whined.
He shrugged, lips pulling into a smirk. They both knew it was a joke. The sort of spirited back-and-firth that Kakashi always looked forward to, that made him want to hurry home lately.
The sort of thing that made Guy his home.
He really, really loved this man. A little too much.
Finally, Kakashi nodded with mock-patience and raised his hands up in deference. “Fine, fine… Yeah, sure, okay, Guy. I’ll help.”
Guy’s dark eyes sparkled.
Kakashi’s eyes crinkled in a smile as he glanced at the still dripping hose and Guy’s extraordinarily dirty white shirt. Suddenly, Kakashi was struck with an idea —a wonderful, satisfying, stress-relieving idea that would work much better than a massage or a challenge.
Guy realized Kakashi’s traitorous plan just seconds later. His eyes widened and he looked from Kakashi’s line of sight to the hose and back to Kakashi. He lifted a finger in warning. “No —Kakashi, don’t you dare!”
Guy couldn’t even try to lunge fast enough to stop him, and his pleas fell on deaf ears. Kakashi made a quick grab for the hose and held it up victoriously, the nozzle pointing directly at Guy’s chest. “You know, you’re trying to order around your Hokage,” he cajoled. A broad smile hid behind his mask and echoed in his voice. “Would you like to take it back?”
Kakashi loved these moments—these moments of domesticity, of playfulness, of normalcy. Right now, he was just a man coming home from a long day at a tedious “office job” and flirting with the man he loved, taunting and teasing him with the wet end of a hose.
Guy awkwardly widened his stance and crossed his arms over his chest, projecting his more commanding aura from his knelt down position. “No,” he answered. “Kakashi, reconsider this. I’m not committing high treason; I’m just having a talk with my rival…” Kakashi lowered the hose slightly, pretending to consider Guy’s words. “And besides, your plants love me best, anyway.”
Kakashi narrowed his eyes and aimed the hose again. “Our plants. And, no, they don’t!”
Guy’s lips twitched and Kakashi knew he had him, knew Guy was having just as much fun teasing Kakashi as Kakashi was having teasing Guy. Kakashi’s finger twitched on the nozzle’s trigger and sent out a warning spray. The half-powered jet of cold water hit Guy right on the neck, splashing into his face.
“…Kakashi.” Guy said warningly, pushing himself up to balance on his foot. He held out a beckoning hand. “Give me the hose.”
With the expert marksmanship that years of shinobi training had instilled in him, Kakashi took aim at Guy’s open, outstretched hand and nailed the center of his palm with a sharp, strong jet of water.
Guy sputtered and looked up at Kakashi, mouth agape. “Kakashi!”
The sixth hokage simply grinned.
And then he let Guy have it.
He pulled the trigger, and the hose came to life as a strong stream of water rushed out its nozzle and showered Guy, drenching him with a few expert swings of the nozzle. Guy laughed and took off after Kakashi with a clumsy series of hop and flips, closing in on him as Kakashi backed up as far away as the hose would allow, laughing and firing the water, catching Guy in the shoulder and stomach and hair.
Finally, when Guy was completely soaked—the water cooling him down and soaking through his shirt, mixing with the dirt on his skin and forming a muddy paste over most of his body—he caught up to Kakashi, arms wrapping around his waist in an awkward half-hug, half-tackle. The momentum carried them down as Guy lost his balance, collapsing into the grass.
Guy pressed his body to Kakashi’s, wriggling a little more than necessary to rub some of the mud onto him. After a brief struggle, Guy wrestled the hose away and tossed it off to the side of their entangled bodies. Still atop Kakashi, he cupped his face and smeared watery streaks of mud over his pale, flushed skin and sleek black mask.
“Ew,” Kakashi laughed, disarmed and trying to shove Guy off of him, all while Guy tried to hold him still. “Guy, you’re ridiculous!”
“Hey, you started the war, Kakashi! I’m just finishing it!” He retorted, ducking his head and brushing his lips against Kakashi’s once, twice, three times.
Kakashi pulled his mask down and widened his legs, letting Guy rest in the cradle of his thighs, Kakashi’s knees brushing Guy’s hip. Their mouths pressed together easily and familiarly, his tongue finding the spot on the roof of Kakashi’s mouth that made him gasp and jerk his hips upwards. Kakashi’s fingers buried themselves in Guy’s wet hair and they ignored the taste of dirt on their lips.
It wasn't that Kakashi didn't realize that this position was suggestive. It was that this was a challenge, and Kakashi was refusing to be distracted from winning this point, and he wasn’t distracted, until it dragged, and Guy moved more, then intentionally moved again.
Kakashi groaned and shifted slightly, and he could feel Guy’s growing erection against his groin. Guy gasped, ripping his mouth away from Kakashi’s and panting, and looked down at him with wide, adoring eyes. “Kakashi,” he admonished, his voice teasing and light. “Not in front of the plants.”
As they both shook with laughter again, Guy lay his forehead against Kakashi’s, pressing a soothing, cooling kiss to his lips—chaste and sweet this time—before rolling off of him. Kakashi sighed and looked at the front of his once-white robes. Hopefully this would wash out, or he’d be getting another lecture from the elders.
“Now, if that’s all our of your system,” Guy scolded.
Kakashi showed his empty hands innocently. “I'm done. I promise.”
“Promise, promise?” Guy asked, crowding into his space again, one hand on Kakashi’s cheek and the other on his shoulder.
“Yes,” Kakashi said. “Because you smell like a wet dog. We’ll call that one a tie?”
“Fine,” Guy conceded, reluctant as always, before leaning against Kakashi, making sure the front of his shirt was as wet as Guy’s. Kakashi made something between an annoyed noise and another laugh before dragging him closer and kissing him again.
Guy’s lips were warm against the cold water of the hose still drying on his face. He was still considering a sneak attack before Guy pushed his tongue into his mouth. Then, all the blood started rushing to his scheming dick instead of his scheming brain. As much as Kakashi loved their lighthearted challenges, he liked these moments, too. To make up for all the times he’d ignored Guy, or pretended to ignore Guy, he’d give him his full and undivided attention now. Kakashi’s warm hand slid down Guy’s back then beneath his soaked shirt, making it ride up until he could feel the faint heat of the sunset on his skin. It gave him a cold chill, and Guy laughed between kisses.
Right before he was about to ground his hips against Guy where he could feel him hard behind his pants again, cold water smacked them both in the shoulder, neck, and face.
“Good grief. I can’t leave you alone for a second.”
Kakashi and Guy jerked away from each other and looked at Ningame, who just raised his brows at them, brandishing the appropriated water hose.
“Some of us are serious about growing a vegetable garden. You two can hump anytime,” he said to both of them, then looked at Kakashi. “Nice to see you again, Kakashi. Not with your tongue down my master’s throat, but still.”
“Good to see you, too, Ningame,” Kakashi said, greeting the tortoise with a lazy wave with one hand and pulling his mask back into place with the other. Ningame’s impromptu shower had mostly cleaned that off, at least.
“We were simply settling a water war! There’s always time for our passionate, youthful rivalry!” Guy said, a weak defense of himself that was just barely not a lie.
“Hmph. Well, I got the rest of the supplies you asked for, Guy.” Ningame gestured with his head towards the fertilizers and plants that he had toted over. How long had that taken him?
Guy smiled and gave his summon a thumbs up. “As always, you’re an invaluable ally to me, Ningame! What would I do without you?!”
Ningame answered by spraying Guy in the face with the hose again. “You wouldn’t have a garden, that’s for sure.” Later, Ningame was definitely going to bring this up while he made his case for how much of the harvest would be his fair share.
The yard was a mess; their impromptu hose fight had caused tiny rivers and puddles to form. Guy was a mess, too, half-hard and panting, completely soaked and covered in dirt, tired and tanned from a day’s hard work in the sun.
And despite Kakashi’s disheveled state, he couldn’t be mad at the mess or even embarrassed he was caught.
Guy’s hand found Kakashi’s in the wet grass, and when he lightly squeezed it, Kakashi couldn’t even remember the earlier stresses of the day anymore.