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It was something that came to mind a lot, for a particular young alpha named Josuke Higashikata.
He had it made, really.
They’d stopped the serial killer his freshman year, he got out of it with only a few months in the hospital, and Morioh was safe. He had a powerful Stand always backing him up, some awesome, not to mention fellow Stand using, friends, he was about to graduate high school with better grades than he’d anticipated, the omega of his dreams had agreed to court him, life was good.
It was in that last little detail that things began to swarm inside of him.
Josuke was head over heels for his court mate, a grumpy Stand wielding Mangaka known as Rohan Kishibe.
And Rohan…Rohan was just perfect.
Josuke tried his best not to say it to often, because the last thing his court mate needed was to further inflate his perfectionist ego. He saved it for soft moments between kisses and heartbeats, to be whispered into his omegas ear.
You see, Rohan being perfect wasn’t his problem, but it was within that perfection that the problem arose.
Because beautiful, successful, famous, talented Rohan was courting him. A high school student with nothing but a rich runaway dad and a gravity-defying hairdo to his name. He’d become a popular alpha in school due to his size and overall good looks, but that wasn't the attention he was after. As most people knew, since pretty much everyone had presented by high school, it was a cesspool of courtships with tangled webs of kisses and forces all acting against each other as uppers duked it out almost every day to find a lower to love.
Love being the objective term there, but Josuke didn’t mix with that crowd, and besides, he’d never bothered with any of that. He’d met Rohan when he was sixteen, and the other was twenty. They’d bickered and fought and clashed on pretty much any given opportunity.
And even then, Josuke had been completely smitten. He'd never given any lowers in his school so much as a sideways glance, all because had someone so much better as his goal, the one for whom he desperately strove.
After finally escaping from the dangers Morioh had posed for years, and settling into the strange peace the town had returned to, Josuke had spent more and more time with Rohan that didn’t involve running away from enemy stand users or fighting for their lives. More like meeting with their other friends at Tonio’s for lunch, or at that cafe in town everyone liked so much. More like running into each other in the park, where the omega was sketching candids of birds for his manga, and convincing him to let him hang around and watch him work.
More like watching the skillful drag of his pen on the paper, and raising his eyes to follow the curve of his cheekbones, the ever-present headband, the neatness of his hair.
From those days on, Josuke had known he was in for it.
It had taken him months of internal warring to do it, to finally propose courtship despite the age gap and him having nothing to offer Rohan short of the necklace for which he'd saved up. He knew it was ridiculous, Rohan was already on the move in life, and in that proposal was also a silent promise to grow further, into an alpha worthy of him.
It’d been over a year since then, Josuke now coming down the home stretch in high school, and it still bothered him.
Bothered him that Rohan was courting him, and not someone who could give him the world.
It was probably pointless. No, Josuke knew it was absolutely useless, to feel so upset about it only lent to the fact that he wasn’t a good alpha. It was his age, his naivety, his penchant for kindness, all of these stacked up to create this problem for him. That he wasn’t a good alpha, certainly not good enough for the embodiment of perfection that was Rohan Kishibe.
“Knock knock.”
Josuke jumped from his headspace when knuckles rapped smartly off his forehead.
Rohan was sitting across from him, eyebrows raised. “What’s going on in there? You’ve spaced out way to much lately, it’s getting on my nerves.”
The outdoor seating of the cafe was cozy as ever, and they’d just finished eating, winding up loitering to enjoy the beautiful weather.
“Oh, sorry. Just…daydreaming, I guess.” The boy replied, focusing on Rohan’s face. He’d let his eyes gloss over when he’d been caught up in his own thoughts.
“I didn’t let you talk me into taking a break from my busy schedule to sit here and watch you daydream. Not all of us have so much free time, you know.” Rohan replied snippily, and usually, the younger could easily brush it off.
The words his omega said shouldn’t have hurt, and they normally never would. Rohan was harsh on the best of days, and didn’t sugarcoat things. He showed affection awkwardly if he ever did, and most of the time insults were his default response to almost every situation. Josuke was a pro at letting things wash over him, unless you jabbed at his hair, it was practically impossible to offend him.
Yet that stuck with him, even as they parted ways at the bus stop, and for the first time in forever he didn’t pester his court mate for a kiss goodbye.
Maybe it had to do with this, as he was crossing the street after Rohan had gotten on the bus and left him behind, that his mind was so spacey.
It was probably also why he didn’t notice the taxi cab flying around the corner, the driver ignorant to the stop sign, until it was too late.
Later.
“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN HE GOT HIT BY A CAR!?” Rohan shouted into his phone, already rushing for his front door.
“I dunno Rohan-sensei! I just got a call from Mrs. Higashikata that Josuke was in the hospital again! He was crossing the street after he dropped you at the bus stop when someone ran the stop sign and hit him! I think he used Crazy Diamond to block the brunt of the hit, though, because the doctors are all raving about how he should have probably died, or at least gotten way more injured than he did.” Koichi informed him from the other end of the line.
“DON’T TELL ME THAT!” The omega practically shrieked into his phone, bag over his shoulder, already rushing out the door.
“Sorry, sorry!”
“How is he, then?” He went sprinting up the sidewalk, making a beeline for the hospital.
“I think he’s ok, Mrs. Higashikata just left, she had work, and asked me to stay here. She’s really pissed but since the doctors said he’ll be fine, she wound up deciding to go to work. He’s still out cold, and he needed to have some stitches, but he didn’t break any bones so that’s good. They gave him something to knock him out, since he had a nasty gash on his chest they had to patch up. The nurse said he’ll be high as a kite when he wakes up, and it’d be good to have someone here to make sure he stays calm. I’d do it but it’s finals week and…”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m already on my way.” Kishibe snapped, before abruptly hanging up.
He made his arrival, panting from the run, a little under ten minutes later, and after a moment spent composing himself, strode to the front desk.
“I’m here to see Josuke Higashikata, apparently he got himself hit by a car.” He said without even a greeting directed to the receptionist.
The woman was taken aback by his bluntness but tapped at her keyboard for a moment before looking up at him.
“And your relationship to him..?”
“Court mate, can we speed this up? One of his friends is in there with him, and he needs to get going as soon as possible.” Rohan replied, crossing his arms.
He pointedly ignored the confused expression he received upon identifying himself as Josuke’s court mate, but all the same, she gave him Josuke’s room number. She was about to give him directions to the elevator, but he merely nodded curtly and headed off down the hallway.
Josuke, fool he was, had been in here plenty of times, so Rohan knew the way to the elevators by heart.
He knocked on the door to the room, and Koichi opened it for him, relief crossing his face.
“I’m so glad you came, sorry about all this. I want to stay but if I bomb these finals…”
“It’s not your fault the moron got himself hit by a car, go take care of your studies, I brought work to do so I’ll be fine.” Rohan replied, waving him off.
After another round of thanks, they traded places, Rohan shutting the door after Koichi had left.
Headed over to the armchair by the hospital bed, he let his eyes run over his alpha who just couldn’t seem to keep himself out of trouble.
Bandages were wrapped around his torso, and his left forearm as well. He had a set of pinch bandages over one eyebrow, and another set on his cheek. His shoulder had a patch over it, indicating he must have gotten some road burn from being tossed by the vehicle.
“I swear, if you didn’t have Crazy Diamond you’d be a dead man by now.” Rohan grumbled, reaching over and adjusting the covers slightly.
Letting out a sigh of irritation, he pressed a gentle kiss to the unconscious young man's forehead.
“Wake up soon, idiot.” He muttered, then he straightened back up and took a seat in the armchair, pulling out his sketchbook.
He’d been seated about thirty minutes when a mumbling reached his ears, and looking up, he saw Josuke tossing his head slightly, before his eyes finally creaked open.
“Ro…han?” The name came in two segments, and the older towed his armchair up close to the bed before sitting down again, now within reach.
“Yes, that’s me. How are you feeling?” He asked, not even bothering to conceal the concern in his voice.
“What…happened? My…ow…” He blinked his bleary eyes a few times, putting a hand to his head.
“None of that, relax. You got hit by a taxi.” Rohan informed him, even as he reached out and gently pulled Josuke’s hand away from his head, making him rest it by his side again.
“You had to get stitches, don’t tug at them, alright?” Rohan supplied this as well, and as he was about to remove his hands, he felt the alpha gripping at one of them.
“Don’t let go,” Josuke mumbled, and it was apparent he was completely out of it. His eyes were unfocused, and his words were slightly slurred, so instead of his usual snippy refusal to do something so mushy, the artist just rolled his eyes.
“Alright. I won’t. But only because you’re hopped up on anesthetics.”
A few seconds ticked by before Josuke spoke again. “I…I think I…blocked the car…?”
Rohan smiled slightly, the confused expression across his alphas face was rather adorable, even if it was only a result of the meds he was on.
“You must have, babe. The doctors said you should have gotten hurt a lot worse.”
“I feel…woozy.” Josuke stated this like it was some startling revelation, putting more emphasis into the word than perhaps necessary.
“That’s the medicine they gave you to numb the pain. They said you'd feel like that for a little bit until it runs out of your system.”
“Huh…m’kay…you’ll stay, right?”
“Of course.”
“Good…so good…I love you, y’know? Did I say that already?” Josuke turned his head to look at him from where he’d been glaring at the ceiling.
Rohan snorted softly. “Um…not today, you haven’t, but yes, you’ve said it before.”
“Ok…that’s good.”
Another few seconds of silence.
“I…didn’t…act fast. Saw the…the…” The boy seemed to be struggling for a word, and Rohan decided to give a guess at it.
“Car?”
“Uh-huh…coming…bright yellow…pop!”
He gestured randomly with his free hand at this, only stopping when Rohan reached across and pressed it back down to the bedspread with the reminder that he shouldn’t move too much.
“Pop…so the car was easy to see, you mean?” Rohan asked him, seeing as Josuke was still trying to get that message across
“Uh-huh…but I didn’t…I didn’t move…wasn’t really paying attention.” The raven-haired boy commented.
Rohan frowned. “Why is that?” He decided he’d ask, and his court mates floaty sense of speaking gave way to something a tone deeper.
“Am I…a bad alpha?”
Rohan chuckled again, now where was this coming from?
How random a thought was that? There was no way this had anything to do with his previous mentions of how distracted he’d been.
Thinking it would be a funny little joke, he played along. “Oh, of course. You’re the absolute worst, haven’t we been over this?”
Because they had been, in countless play fights and comedic arguments he’d accused Josuke of being the most terrible alpha in existence, and the insults would always get bounced right back to him, and in the end they’d either end up laughing at each other or making out in the nearest private space.
He expected a slurred response from Josuke, accusing him of being too picky or having bad fashion sense, or a stupid headband or any of the other hundreds of little jabs he could have thrown that would have made this exactly what it usually was.
Instead, he received a soft little hiccuping noise, akin to a sob, and realized in shock that Josuke had tears in his eyes.
“I was right. You’re…you’re so…you! Smart, and pretty, and talented…and…and I don’t do anything…I…I’m younger and I don’t do anything to take care of you, and when I try you get so mad at me…I must do everything wrong…I only ever make you upset…or annoy you…and I’m just scraping by no matter how hard I try and…and…”
Rohan felt panic rising in his chest. “Wait, no, no…I was only kidding! You’re a great alpha!”
He’d imagined it was only the meds making Josuke this emotional, but something was telling him this was a real problem that his court mate had been struggling with.
Come to think of it; he was acting spacey at lunch…is this why he was so quiet today? Is this what he’s had on his mind?
Josuke was breathing rather heavily, so much so Rohan feared he could break the stitches on the injury on his chest, so he moved a bit closer and squeezed the hand he was still holding onto.
“Please calm down, can you do that for me? You’re a wonderful alpha, ok?”
While his breathing did settle down after a few seconds, Josuke seemed far from calm. “Don’t lie…you don’t need me…you were fine by yourself, and you always hate it when I drag you out. It’s…it’s all my fault…I keep bothering you.”
Rohan was internally cursing his own awkward ability to deal with emotions, because everything Josuke was saying was the exact opposite of true, and yet he couldn’t find the words to deny that firmly.
Because he did have a tendency to overreact and say things that could easily have pierced his court mates heart, and had never realized it due to Josuke’s breezy attitude.
“…I should just stop bothering you…you don’t have to stay…you could find someone better…” Josuke said, trying to tug his hand away from where they were intertwined, but Rohan was able to tighten his grip a bit more to stop him.
High on pain medication or not, those words stung.
“Listen to me; you are not bothering me. Far from it. I’m sorry I say things sometimes that might make you believe otherwise.”
Josuke’s eyes, dazed as they were, managed to focus on him. “…you…really…?”
“Oh, for the love of…”
Rohan stood from his chair and gave him the briefest of kisses. Soft and hurried, not wanting to cause a fuss. Once he pulled back he hung barely an inch from Josuke’s face, wracking his brain for some way to convey that this was genuine.
“I…god, I love you, alright? I do. I know I act petty sometimes, but that’s just me and you’ll have to put up with it. I knew exactly who you were when I got into this with you, and I don’t regret it. I don’t care that you’re younger than me. I don’t care you’re not rich or famous. If you feel like…”
His face was flushing, but the words needed to come out one way or the other.
“…like you want to take care of me, or…or whatever it is that’s bothering you…I can try to…let you. I have a hard time letting people do things for me, ok? But if it’s you then…I can tolerate it…if it means that much to you. So just…I don’t ever want to hear you call yourself a bad alpha again.”
Josuke was staring at him inches away, expression unreadable.
“You understand me?”
In response he got a sudden quick yank in which Josuke freed his hand from Rohan’s, only to wrap it around the omegas waist and pull him down onto him.
Having landed rather awkwardly face down, pinned to Josuke’s uninjured shoulder, he squirmed in an attempt to get up.
It was only because Josuke was hurt that he didn’t begin thrashing more violently.
“W-What are you doing?” He demanded, finally getting himself settled enough to lift his head.
“You mean it? You think I’m good enough?” It was the most level his words had sounded this entire time, and the beginnings of a smile were tugging at his lips. Despite his indignation at being pulled onto the bed, Rohan wasn’t backing off this point.
“Of course I do. Remember, I only accept perfection, and if I accepted you, what does that say? Now let go of me!” Rohan insisted, but the fact of the matter was even injured and woozy as hell, the alpha was still far stronger than he was, and managed to keep him held flush against his side with just his one uninjured arm.
“I wanna hold you.” Josuke declared, resting his head back onto his pillows.
“Josuke! If one of the nurses comes in here and finds us like this I will murder you! Let go!”
“It doesn’t matter…”
“It does!” Rohan insisted.
“They know you’re mine…it’s not weird,” Josuke replied as he let his eyes flutter shut.
“Don’t you dare say something like that while you’re high! Now let go!”
He was still pinned helplessly under Josuke’s arm, and considering the injury on the alpha's chest, Rohan didn’t want to risk fighting with him too hard and reopening the wound.
Furthermore, in response to his last demand for freedom, he’d received no reply. A few more seconds, and he still got nothing.
“Josuke? Josuke, you better not have passed out again! How am I supposed to get your stupidly huge arm off me?” Despite all his hissing and spitting, the arm didn’t budge, and Rohan was forced to accept he was stuck.
The best he could do was roll over so he was fully on the bed instead of awkwardly hanging halfway off as he’d been when Josuke had grabbed him.
Relenting, he let himself relax against the Josuke’s shoulder, and after a few seconds of humiliation at the thought of someone walking in to check on Josuke, and seeing them like this, he let his eyes fall shut.
“This had better help make you feel better…stupid alpha.”
Stupid or not, Josuke was his alpha, and he’d be damned if he let the boy think he desired anything more.