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Deceit sometimes finds himself staring at Remus and wondering how he can not care that he is only part of a whole. He has never denied his duties, never cried late at night wishing the others would even acknowledge his existence. From the very first day that Creativity was split, he has always worn a sick smile, never hid from the fact that half of him resided in someone else. Called the other half his “brother,” even when this brother put him down, refused to talk to him, reviled his presence, his function. Yet, he never even faltered. Deceit stares at the others, now that he can even see them, and wonders what it is like to be whole.
Deceit was the first to be created for only darkness. He knew that before he was created, there were no such things as light and dark sides, only the four. Heart, Mind, Imagination, and Fear. That was back when they were children, when their functions were simple. Heart was the first to change his function, to Morality, the first time he advocated for something selfish. The newly named Morality was unstable, trying to learn right from wrong, and made many bad decisions. So it was decided that Morality was to be split. Into a “good” and a “bad” version of himself. One version would make all of the selfish decisions, and the other would make all of the selfless ones. Therefore, they could even each other out. Mind was the one to figure out how to do it, Imagination was in charge of creating forms for the two sides to take, and Fear was to make sure nothing went wrong. So they went ahead with it. He’s never known if the original Morality even wanted to be split. It always seemed best not to ask.
Deceit’s first memory is of a sharp, tearing pain. Of his essence ripping itself apart and reforming. Looking down at his hands as they flickered into existence. And then everything going dark. When he awoke, he was in a room that was to become his, with Fear watching over him. Fear was in charge of him, though he never seemed to like the job. Being seven, Fear thought he had better things to do than make sure “Bad Morality” didn’t screw things up too much. He never saw any of the others when he would leave his room, just Fear. Fear told him that the others lived in a blocked off section of the Mind Palace, that was for good sides only. That they could come over to where he lived, but he couldn’t go over there, because he wasn’t a good side. He used to beg Fear to let him see the others, these phantom creatures that he’d never seen with his own eyes, only heard about from his captor. Fear would never listen to his cries, too scared that he would corrupt the others in some way. Said the others would never want to see him, because he was the bad guy. Whenever Fear would leave after checking up on him, he would cry in his bed, wishing he even knew what his other half looked like.
He had existed for three years when he was told Imagination, or now Creativity, was going to be split. Fear had told him this one afternoon, saying that Creativity’s potty mouth and toilet humor was going too far, and he needed to be controlled. At ten years old, Dark Creativity came into his life, all impulse and fart jokes, and he felt a little less alone. He asked Dark Creativity one day if he remembered anything from before the split, and that was the only time he’d ever been able to render the side speechless. Neither of them liked talking about before. So they didn’t. They dealt with it in different ways. Dark Creativity made fun of it, called Light Creativity his brother, refused to show his wish to see his brother. Dark Morality took on a new identity. He pretended he was no longer half of a whole, and instead, something entirely new. Deceit.
Fear stopped checking in on him after Dark Creativity arrived. It was almost better that way, because at least Dark Creativity liked talking to him, and wouldn’t remind him that there were four more sides out there that he couldn’t see. They got by just fine themselves. Until, at age thirteen, a nearly unrecognizable figure, and a new bedroom to correspond with him, arrived in their space. Hiding in a black hoodie, with dark circles and eyeshadow under his eyes, Deceit wondered if he was also half of a whole, as he looked so different. But no, he was the same Fear Deceit had always known. Except now, he had been kicked out by the others. He was a bad guy, just like them. And he introduced himself as Anxiety.