Work Text:
VRISKA: For your information, Tavros, there's a lot more to being a pir8 captain than people think.
TAVROS: uH,,, dO YOU HAVE AN EXAMPLE,
VRISKA: An example? Hmmmmmmmm........
VRISKA: Pir8 captains are... like onions!
TAVROS: oH, sO YOU ALL STINK,
VRISKA: Exactly! They- wait, wh8t?? No!!!!!!!!
TAVROS: oR YOU MAKE PEOPLE CRY,,,
VRISKA: I guess so, 8ut that's n8t the point!!!
TAVROS: wHEN YOU'RE LEFT OUT IN THE SUN, dO YOU GET ALL BROWN, aND START SPROUTING TINY LITTLE WHITE HAIRS,
VRISKA: TAVROS WH8T THE FUCK ARE Y8U EVEN T8LKING ABOUT????????
VRISKA: THE ANSWER IS 'L8YERS'!!!!!!!! Pir8 captains have layers. Onions have layers.
VRISKA: You get it? We 8oth have layers! That's the answer!
VRISKA: How could you N8T guess that?? It's the simplest thing ever!
VRISKA: 8ut noooooooo, you have to 8e as 8ad at guessing simple answers correctly as you are at everything else.
TAVROS: ,,,
TAVROS: }:(