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Waking up in a cold sweat with your heart beating fast and your guts tied and twisted is never fun. The dreams of being held underwater and cut up by the demons who were trying to find out information on Dean were getting worse. I had my hand clasped over my mouth to keep the cried muffled and not wake anyone in the bunker.
Sam and Dean had found me but not before the demons had done enough damage that even months later I was still having nightmares. I was still guarded and I shied away from unexpected touch but I let Sam touch me. I had grown close to Sam and things started to blossom into something more, it felt like a relationship. Sam had been my rock. The one I could lean on during my little episodes that freaked me out. I could feel my hands shaking and hear my heart like a kettle drum thumping erratically in my chest. My eyes scanned the room and stared at the shadows with a hyper vigilance that rivaled a snipers keen eye. I tried to slow my breathing but I could feel the knot in my chest starting to swell. The tears ran down my face and I couldn't stop them. I knew I needed to get up.
I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and forced myself to move. I needed to get to Sam. I needed Sam. I pulled the door open and stumbled out into the hall. I leaned against the wall and kept moving. I knew that Sam’s door was the closest. I knew that Sam could calm me down. I stopped again and leaned against the wall. My head felt like it was going to explode, my vision was blurred and I started to hyperventilate. I bumped into the wall and reached for the door handle. I slipped into his room, sobbing as quietly as I could.
Sam sat up and looked at me with bleary eyes.
“Hey…” He said with a groggy voice, “Hey! What’s wrong?”
I stared at him and tried to get my brain to work right to form the words I needed to ask for help, but nothing happened.
“Come here.” He said opening his arms wide.
He patted the bed. I sniffled and moved closer to him. I sat uneasy on the bed and felt the walls break down. I started sobbing and trying to breathe in but I was too shaky. I doubled over and dropped my head to my knees.
“Whoa! Hey!” Sam’s voice was a little panicked, “I got you. Listen to my voice.”
He slipped behind me and put his arms around me. His skin was cool against my burning hot body. I tried to keep calm but I was failing. I sucked in air and nodded, Sam pulled me back into his chest and held my arms lightly.
“I need you to listen to me…” His voice was mellow and even as he brushed my hair back and breathed softly on my neck, “You need to breathe okay?”
I nodded.
“Listen to my voice, okay.” He said with a soft voice, “We are gonna try to relax.”
My muscles started to cramp up and I could feel the anxiety closing in.
“Breathe, babe.” Sam whispered, “It’s alright.”
“Remember when we were in Vermont and crashing in that abandoned house and we woke up really early.” Sam started as he pushed the hair from my face. I leaned my head back
and tried to breathe deeper, “And we sat on that back patio, watching the sun rise and the deer moving across the over grown lawn.”
I remembered it; it was the first time I kissed him. I remember being so anxious but it was worth it. I nodded and looked at the ceiling.
“I remember how beautiful you looked with the sunrise on your face, and that kiss.” He said with a tender voice that made it easier to let my muscles relax.
“I remember I could feel how nervous you were just before you kissed me… it made me nervous for you.” He laughed softly as he rubbed my arms. I smiled and nodded then exhaled.
With gentle words and the calm reminders to breathe, I was able to stop the panic from taking me over. Sam laid back on the bed with me in his arms. I turned my body into his and I rested my head on his chest. He brushed the hair from my face and kissed my forehead.
“I’ll go.” I said softy but I didn’t mean it. I was too tired to move.
“No, stay. It’s nice not sleeping alone.” Sam said as his hand ran down my back and stroked a small line on my spine.
I didn’t argue, instead I closed my eyes and prayed that I wouldn’t have nightmares. I let my body relax and I drifted to sleep in his arms. It was the first restful night of sleep I had in a while and waking up next to Sam was perfect. I opened my eyes and could feel how puffy they were. Sam’s head was dipped down and his hair had fallen over his face. There was no light in the room but I was able to see the faint outline of the curves of his face. I shifted my body to face him and rested a hand on his chest. I leaned up and kissed him.
I let my fingers touch his cheek and smiled. My body was sore and tired but I kissed him again. He took a deep breath in and opened his eyes. He blinked a few times then he smiled slowly like molasses. Seeing the dimples and feeling his fingers press into my lower back made my heart beat faster, this time in a good way.
“How are you feeling, baby?” He asked with a sleepy voice. I snuggled close and pressed my lips to his chest.
“Okay.”
“What happened?” He asked quietly, “If you want to talk about it?”
“Nightmares again.” I said flatly as I rested my head into his chest.
“I wish I could make them go away…” He trailed off as he ran his hand over the back of my head, “I’m so sorry little dove.”
“I hate that nickname.” I frowned at him. He slipped his arms around me and lifted me up on to his lap then sat up.
“And I love Sammy?” He asked with a cheeky smile then kisses me.
“You love it.” I looked him dead in the face then kissed him a little deeper. His left hand slid down my back and rested in my lower back. I cupped his face and scooted closer to
him. He kissed me a little hard then pulled my shirt over my head. I pulled back and smiled.
“Who said this is what I want?” I asked with a playful smile.
“I can make coffee if you’re not into this?” Sam offered as he brushed my hair back. I grabbed him by the back of the neck and kissed him.
Sam picked me up and flipped me on my back. He covered my body with his and kissed down my bare chest. He stopped in the middle of my belly and peered up. I sucked my soft stomach in and gave him a smile.
“Don’t.” He warned then kissed lower, "You are perfect."
His lips trailed over the tops of my thighs then down between them. He flickered his tongue between the wet folds; he kissed and sucked on the sensitive skin forcing my body temperature to rise. My body leaned up and I grabbed a handful of his soft brown hair. He slipped fingers into me and slowly pumped them. I arched my back and let out a soft moan. I fell back, letting go of Sam’s hair and clutching the sheets and moaning his name.
I was covered in sweat with my heart thumping in my chest and every nerve endings were electrified. Sam pulled back just before it got to the best part. I was panting as he crawled up the bed. My hands were shaking as he kissed me tasting myself on his lips and feeling the burn of excitement in my veins; my fingers ran down his chest and pulled his boxers down.
Sam growled a little then kissed me again. His body was fucking perfect with each muscle carved out. He was sweaty but he was perfectly into me.
“Don’t tease me, Sammy.” I whispered then kissed him a little hungrier than I intended. Our heads bumped and he cringed as he leaned back. He ran a hand over his forehead and looked up at him.
“I’m sorry!”
“Don’t be.” He crawled across the bed and kissed me, “Lay back and relax, little dove.”
Sam’s hands slid down my legs and lifted them up around his waist. I watched as he lifted my hips and lined himself up. He fell over me with his hands resting on my sides. His muscles were thick corded and tense as he kissed me. Sam slowly pushed into me; my legs tighten around him as I let out a harsh gasp.
This wasn’t the first time I had sex with Sam but I still wasn’t used to the girth. Sam kissed me and pushed them slowly pulled out.
The slow pushes melted away to urgent thrusts. I sat up and kissed him; my fingers gripped his shoulders then moved to his hair. Sam groaned and grunted as his head fell forward.
“Sam!” I begged and pulled him inside of me with my legs and kept him there. He groaned then kissed me He cussed as he pulled back and stared at me with wide gold green eyes, pupils wide and a mouth that had fallen open.
“I love you.” He whispered as he pushed into me harder.
“I love you too Sam!” I whispered back. His hips moved faster and pushed deeper. My body was shaking and I could feel every muscle in my body about to snap and break away. I was covered in sweat. I was there, the bells were ringing in my ears and I could feel my heart beating, pounding away in my ribs. I pleaded and begged him for more only getting curses and groans in reply.
His hips jerked, as his thrusts got messy and his dick slipped out. I let out a small cry as he smiled and flipped me over. My stomach hit the bed and his hand lifted my hips up in the air. Sam slipped back inside of me and pounded hard inside of me. I back arched as my head lifted from the mattress. His fingers curled into my hipbones.
“Come please.” Sam moaned.
“I’m close, Sammy… fuck please!” I begged and pushed back into him. He let go of my hip and fell forward onto my back. His hand found mine and covered it. Our fingers curled together as Sam picked up speed. His hips bound off my ass and slammed into me. He groaned then placed kisses down the back of my neck. His hips rutted against my body. He let go of my hand then snaked his arm around my waist and between my thighs and found my clit with two fingers. He rolled quick messy circles.
“Sammy!” I begged. He groaned and pushed into me.
“Come.” He growled in my ear and sent chills down my side. He worked his fingers faster as he thrusted shallow inside of me. I was close, about to fall over the edge and give into the orgasm that had been building. I felt his cock spasm and his hips freeze. Warmth filled me up as he exhaled hard against my skin.
“Fuck.” He whispered and dropped his head between my shoulder blades and exhaled, “Baby, I’m sorry...”
“No!” I pleaded reaching back for his hand and holding his fingers there. I panted and moaned as I pushed myself back on his dick. He groaned and pulled back. A few lazy pushes and the fast work of his fingers were enough to finish me off.
Sam kissed my arms as he laid beside me. I felt flat and rested on my belly and turned my head to the side.
“Sorry, I got worked up and.” He stopped. I kissed him and smiled.
“Don’t be.”
“I’m glad you’re better this morning.” He whispered as he slipped his arm under my back and pulled me close to him. He pressed his lips to my forehead.
“Well, I did have the best doctor taking care of me.” I smiled, “And that bedside manner, whew!”
He tickled my side and rolled on top of me. He grinned and kissed me.
“No more sleeping alone.”
“Yes doctor!” I teased as he tickled me and made me squirm.
Maybe not sleeping alone was just what I needed.