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The first time Tyler knew he was screwed was, when he “accidentally” watched gay porn – and liked it.
It wasn’t really an accident, though. He was curious, because one day he overheard a conversation of two boys in the corridors of his High-School as he was on the way to the toilets. They were speaking in hushed voices, maybe because they could hear him approach them. But Tyler could still pick up scraps of conversation.
“It was so hot” one of them said. “Yeah. I didn’t even know two men could do such things to one another.”
And this sentence didn’t leave Tyler’s mind. So there he was, sitting on his bed in the safety of his dark bedroom and watching two men do the do. He was impressed, not to say amazed and maybe a little bit (definitely) turned on.
The second time Tyler knew he was screwed was when Chris introduced him to Josh.
This one was all smiles. His laughter was contagious, the skin around his (beautiful) brown eyes crinkled when he grinned. He holds out his hand to Tyler to say hello and the brown haired boy was pretty sure it was love at first sight. Of course, he wouldn’t admit it. He was glad that nobody seemed to be suspicious because of his stares, maybe Chris already told Josh that Tyler could come across as a little bit special to people who didn’t know him very well.
“Hey there, the name’s Josh. Nice to meet you!” the black haired boy said and Tyler was even more amazed by his voice than by his appearance because it was a low but powerful voice. “Tyler” he only managed to say without any facial expression; he was only staring at those brown eyes the whole time. “Okay, Ty. I guess it’s time to go on stage, don’t you think?” Chris asked after a few awkward seconds and Tyler nodded. Josh just smiled, thanked them that he could watch them play and wished them a good show.
Though there weren’t many people because Tyler’s band wasn’t really popular, he was the most nervous he’s ever been.
The third time Tyler knew he was screwed was when both of his bandmates decided to leave the band.
He had really thought his friends liked the idea of growing as a band, traveling and playing music as much as he did. He didn’t want to settle down, he didn’t care about starting a family. But stupidly that was exactly what his bandmates wanted to do.
“We’re sorry Tyler, but we have other things in life to focus on, you know?” Chris said, patting the brown haired boy on the shoulder. He was about to leave but still gave Tyler one last advice before closing the door. “Maybe you should call Josh. I know he wouldn’t refuse the offer.” “What Offer?” Tyler asked confused but then it hit him. Of course! Josh was a drummer. But was he ready to see the other boy almost every day? He wanted to, even though he knew it wasn’t the best idea considering how fast he had fallen for him. But Tyler really wanted to keep the band thing going on, so he dialed Josh’s number who almost immediately picked up.
“Hey Tyler. Was thinking about you, what a coincidence, right?” he said and Tyler could see his smile right in front of him. Did he really just say that? Tyler was a blushing mess and almost forgot to say something back. ‘That’s just Josh’s way to be nice, you know that!’ he scolded himself and answered. “Josh, hi! You won’t believe it, but I’m a one person band from now on.” He really wanted to let all his anger and frustration out because he knew that Josh would understand him, but he could hear a muffled voice and it wasn’t Josh’s because this one said: “Not now, Ashley!”
“Who’s that?” Tyler asked and a cold feeling was settling down in his chest. It was a woman’s voice. Josh was with a woman right now. ‘And he was thinking about me?’ He didn’t know if he should be happy or sad. “Oh, that’s my sister, but… Did I hear this right? Your bandmates left you? Why?” Tyler could have slapped himself there and then. He wasn’t even with Josh this way but he was still jealous. He tried to brush aside his thoughts and told his friend about the whole situation. As he finished he took a deep breath.
“Doyouwannabemynewbandmate?” he spit out. “Are you kidding me? Of course I wanna be in a band with you! Were you really this nervous to ask me?” Josh laughed and Tyler couldn’t believe his luck let alone the fact that Josh had understood the question correctly. “Yeah”, the brown haired boy admitted and was now smiling so big that his cheeks started to hurt because now he knew that Twenty One Pilots was still a thing, even if it was just the two of them.
The fourth time Tyler knew he was screwed was when a blonde girl named Jenna introduced herself to him after a show. He was in a good mood, full on adrenaline, and decided that a little bit of flirting wouldn’t hurt anybody. The two of them sat together at a table and their friendly banter was suddenly interrupted by Jenna’s lips on his. And that’s when he knew he was screwed, because he should have enjoyed it. Jenna was pretty, she was friendly and she could make him laugh.
But all he could think about as she kissed him and as he sat there, wide eyed, was JoshJoshJosh. This feeling wasn’t right, the lips weren’t the big pink lips he wanted to kiss ever since he laid eyes on them and the hand that was now on his cheek wasn’t the calloused, big hand he wanted to feel on his skin so bad. So Tyler softly gave Jenna a little push. “Sorry, but no” he just said before he stood up and left her.
Little did he know that Josh had seen the whole spectacle so as he wanted to tell him about it, the black haired boy just said: “Yeah, I saw you two. And I’m not your Dad so go on with it and have a good time!” He seemed pissed and Tyler didn’t know why. ‘Maybe he’s just as jealous as you are? Maybe he has feelings for you, too?’
And that was the fifth time Tyler knew he was screwed. Because he didn’t know, and he was too much of a coward to just ask Josh.
So he said nothing and Josh just huffed, turned around and left. To say that Tyler was confused was an understatement. The next day, though, it seemed like nothing had happened. Josh called Tyler to let him know that he was on his way to grab some food and asked him if he wanted to join him. The brown haired boy was puzzled but he said yes because it was Josh. This one seemed to be his smiling and laughing self as he picked him up fifteen minutes after they hanged up.
“I have to show you a video later, Tyler. You’ll love it, it’s hilarious!” “Okay” Tyler just said as he was deep in thought. Was it just his imagination playing tricks on him or was Josh really pissed at him because this girl Jenna had kissed him? He didn’t even have the chance to explain the situation to Josh. But was it really necessary? He still chose to go for it because, truth be told, he would have reacted the same way if he had seen Josh kissed a girl.
The two boys sat on a booth together at a local diner, and it was only after Josh had shown Tyler the video (which really was funny), that the brown haired boy cleared his throat. Their eyes met and Tyler suddenly was at a loss for words that until Josh lifted one eyebrow, expectantly.
“So Josh, about yesterday…” “No worries, I was just pissed because you left me alone with all our stuff but Mark helped me load everything back into the transporter.” “Oh”, was Tyler’s sad answer because he had really hoped Josh was angry for another reason. “Don’t feel so guilty, it’s okay. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself out there. You deserved it!” Josh seemed so genuine and the younger boy couldn’t do this anymore.
One year of silently adoring his best friend and hoping that he would eventually see him the same way that he saw him was enough. So it wasn’t really Tyler’s fault that he started crying in a packed diner, it was Josh’s! This one immediately hugged him close to his chest.
“Tyler? What’s wrong?” Now was the time. “I love you!” Tyler said and wanted to escape Josh’s embrace because of how much ashamed he felt but this one just hugged him with so much strength, that Tyler understood. “I suspected it. And I love you, too, you dork” Josh whispered and released Tyler just to kiss him.
Tyler knows he isn’t screwed as he walks down the aisle under the stares of his family and friends, and sees his beautiful, now blue haired fiancé, and soon to be husband, standing in front of the altar. Josh’s grin is so big that the skin around his eyes crinkles and Tyler remembers the first day he saw him.
He feels lucky ever since because Josh brought new prospects to his life, like the wedding. Tyler always thought that getting married was not an option for him because he knew he could be too much to handle sometimes. But now he knows everyone has their flaws and Josh is there to support him. As soon as both men stand face to face with one another they don’t hear much of the speech the pastor is giving.
They’re both smiling and are only waiting to share their first kiss as a married couple.