Work Text:
IT WAS FINALLY IT.
THE MAGICAL DAY THAT ONODA HAD BEEN WAITING FOR. PINING FOR. THE DAY HE GOT TO SEE A RED HOT DICK.
LIKE SURE HE’D SEEN THE OLE STICK AND BAGS PROBABLY A MILLION TIMES IN SHARED BATHS. ESPECIALLY WITH NARUKO PRANCING AROUND SHOWING OFF THE FACT HE DYED THE CARPET TO MATCH THE DRAPES.
BUT NO.
FULL DICK.
RIPE AND READY TO GO.
ONODA HAD WANTED TO SEE MIDOSUJI’S DICK THE MOMENT HE LEARNED THAT FUCKER LOVED ANIME. WOW. 100% ANIME LOVING DICK. HE WANTED IT IN HIS MOUTH. HE WANTED IT IN HIS ASS. HE WANTED IT IN HIS LIFE HOT DAMN SON.
SOME RELATIONSHIP BUILDING HAPPENED AND IT WAS GREAT AND YEE HAW THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT. EVERYONE KNOWS FICS ARE JUST FOR THE SEX.
SO THEY ARE IN THE LOCKER ROOM RIGHT LIKE. JUST RIGHT THERE IN THE LOCKER ROOM AND EVERYONE ELSE IS CONVENIENTLY GONE BECAUSE THAT’S HOW SNEAKY GAY SEX WORKS. I DUNNO LIKE SOME SORTA PHEROMONE THAT SCARES OFF THE STRAIGHTS LIKE A WARNING THAT SOMETHING FUCKING GAY IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN.
ONODA WAS LIKE, “YO MAN LEMME GET A HIT O THAT DICK.”
AND MIDOUSUJI WAS LIKE, “HELL YES SON YOU WRECK YOURSELF ON THAT DICK.”
Onoda fell to his knees, the ground was cold on his hot, excited skin. His fingers trembled as they slid over the bulge in Midousuji’s shorts. Midousuji let out a soft, breathy whimper, biting his lips as Onoda’s fingers explored up to his zipper. Onoda licked his dry lips, anticipation shivering all the way down to his own dick. He glanced up at Midousuji as he pinched the end of the zipper. Midousuji blushed and looked away, embarrassed that Onoda caught him staring.
With an audible swallow, Onoda built up his courage enough to yank the zipper down.
OUT POPPED THE BIGGEST FUCKING LIZARD. LIKE SHIT IT WAS HUGE. LIKE WRASSLIN SIZE. HUGE MOTHERFUCKER. BIG. SO BIG.
AND IT WAS SCREAMING, “KIMOI KIMOI KIMOOOOOOI!”
“OOPS.” MIDOUSUJI GIGGLED WITH HIS HANDS TO HIS MOUTH LIKE SOME CHEEKY FUCKER. “I FORGOT TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY GIANT LIZARD DONG.”
ONODA WAS SO DISAPPOINTED, I MEAN LIKE, IF SOMEONE’S GONNA HAVE A LIZARD DONG THAT SHIT BETTER BE BAD DRAGON OR SOMETHING AMIRITE.
“GOLLY GEE FUCKING WHIZ!” ONODA EXCLAIMED AS MIDOUSUJI’S DICK SCURRIED DOWN HIS SHIRT FOR WARMTH. “MY MOMMA WARNED ME ABOUT TROUSER SNAKES BUT THIS SURE TAKES THE CAKE I TELL YOU HWAT.”
MIDOUSUJI’S DICK ENDED UP ESCAPING LATER AND THEY SAY THAT IF YOU SUCK DICK IN THAT VERY LOCKER ROOM AT MIDNIGHT OR SOMETHING YOU CAN STILL HEAR ITS CRIES OF KIMOI KIMOI KIMOOOOOOI.