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She couldn’t do this.
She couldn’t do this.
But if it was true, she had to do this.
Padmé returned the knife to its hidden scabbard and took a deep breath, getting to her feet and heading down the ramp. The acrid, burning atmosphere of Mustafar hit her immediately, but the only thing she could see was her husband waiting for her at the end of the ramp. “Ani…”
"Padmé!" He exclaimed running to her. "You shouldn't be here, love, it's not safe."
“I had to see you, I had to know,” she paused, hugging him tightly. Possibly for the last time. “Ani, tell me what I’ve been hearing isn’t true. Tell me you didn’t murder the younglings at the Temple.”
He stiffened in her embrace. "Who has filled your head with lies? Was it Obi-Wan? I told you before, the Jedi are corrupt. They are not to be trusted."
“I didn’t want to believe it, but with everything happening, with the Republic gone, I didn’t know what to believe,” she whispered, looking up at him worriedly. “But I do believe Obi-Wan would never do anything to hurt you. You two are practically brothers. He cares about you, about us.”
"He cares about no one but himself and his fallen Order. I am no longer bonded to him. He means nothing to me," Anakin snapped. "You should not listen to him."
“You can’t be serious. You’re talking about your best friend, your teacher!”
"He always feared me. My power. They all did. They always saw me as a burden, didn't trust me and made me feel like an outcast. They deserved what happened to them."
She wanted to pull back, but she knew she couldn’t. “Even the children?”
"They would become just like they were. Selfish, arrogant, robots to obey an Order."
“And what will happen to our child?” Her voice was so soft it was almost inaudible. “Ani, what future are you making for them by doing this except one built on blood?”
"They are safe this way," he responded just as softly. "No one will take them from us. The Jedi won't corrupt them."
“Because they’ll be Sith?” she accused.
"As my children, they'll be safe. They'll be protected. The Sith and the Jedi are one and the same. As Sith, no one will touch them."
“Not even you,” Padmé agreed. What happened next transpired in the blink of an eye. She leaned in, as if she were about to kiss him, and pulled the knife from its hiding place, driving it straight between his ribs and piercing his heart. “Forgive me, love.”
Anakin gasped and his hold on her loosened. He looked down to see what had happened and began to lose his strength. He raised his eyes to her in a look of pure shock and betrayal before his knees gave out and he fell down. He could feel himself growing weak. His powers slowly leaving him. "Padmé…" he croaked out.
“I’m sorry.” She knelt beside him, cradling him in her arms as best she could with her stomach protruding as much as it was. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t let you go down this path, Ani. It would have just been another form of slavery.”
He coughed as he kept bleeding out in her arms, his vision was becoming blurry and he knew. He knew he was dying. And Anakin never felt more free. He no longer felt the dark side clinging to him. No longer felt the weight of the world in his shoulders. Raising his hand, he gently touched her stomach, something becoming very clear as he began slipping away.
"Tell them I'm sorry. That I did love them," he whispered as a tear fell down his cheek.
“Every day,” she promised, kissing his forehead. “They’ll know their daddy was a hero.”
Anakin nodded weakly. "Thank you. For freeing me. You did the right thing, Angel, as always. You did the right thing."
“I love you,” Padmé murmured, wiping away her tears. “So, so much.”
"I know," he nodded weakly. "I love you too. More than I ever loved anyone. You were my whole Galaxy. I am so sorry to have let you down," he coughed again and he knew he didn't have much time left. "Ask… ask Obi-Wan to try and find it in himself to forgive me, please? I want him to teach them when the time comes. I wouldn't have anyone else."
“How can I let anyone teach them, knowing what this life did to you?”
"They'll be better than me," he whispered. "They'll always be loved and they'll never be alone. They are destined to be better than me."
“There could still be a chance,” Padmé protested. “I could find a medcenter, you can still be in their lives—”
"Love, no… no. You have to let me go. It's alright. I want to die. I… I am not afraid. I will see my mother again and I will always, always be with you."
“Ani…”
“Padmé, you must let him go.” Obi-Wan’s voice came from behind. “He’s right.”
Anakin nodded. "Listen to him, please," his eyes began to drift close as his time approached.
“Ani. Ani, no. Look at me. Don’t stop looking at me,” Padmé begged, sobbing openly. “Stay. Please.” His body went limp as he gave his last breath. “ No!” Her scream of anguish echoed across the burning landscape and metal structures.
"Padmé," Obi-Wan placed a hand on her shoulder. "We must go."
“I can’t leave him.”
"You already saved what was left of his soul. You must leave him. Think about your children."
“I’m not leaving him here!” she insisted firmly. “I won’t let Palpatine take his body!” Then it registered with her. “Children?”
Obi-Wan sighed. "Twins, Padmé. You're carrying twins. That's what Anakin meant. He must have realized before he passed."
“Oh, Force.” Padmé pushed Anakin’s curls back from his forehead, too overcome with grief to be angry at the emdee that had failed to tell her. “Oh, Ani.”
“We have to go. Before the Emperor comes for him. He’s surely sensed Anakin’s passing by now. Where do you want to take his body?"
Padmé hesitated. Tatooine was where his mother was buried, surely he’d want to be with her, however much he’d hated the planet itself.
And much as her heart said to take him to Naboo, the closest thing they’d known to a home, it was probably the first place Palpatine would think to look for her. For the twins. She needed to keep them safe. “Tatooine. We need to go to Tatooine.”
"Then we should hurry." Obi-Wan moved forward, lifting Anakin’s body up and carrying him back to the ship. Padmé lingered a moment longer, staring at her husband’s blood pooling on the ground. The blood she had spilled. He might have forgiven her, but it would be a long time before she could forgive herself.
She gave birth on Tatooine, in the same room where she’d comforted Anakin after his mother’s death, with only Owen, Beru, and Obi-Wan to help her while a storm raged outside. All she could think of was Anakin’s vision and the fear that she would leave their children as orphans.
Ani, I can’t do this…
Suddenly she felt stronger. As if she was being given strength from the Force itself. She remembers his promise before he died. That they would never be alone. With one last cry, she pushed out one twin, and the other quickly followed. Owen and Beru swaddled the babies and placed them in their mother’s arms.
Their son had Anakin’s eyes, and she very nearly gave him Anakin’s name. Nearly. But he didn’t need to grow up with the danger, or burden that came with that name. Obi-Wan had already made it clear how dangerous he thought it was that Padmé had insisted on keeping the name Skywalker.
Luke and Leia Skywalker would grow up on Tatooine with their widowed mother, their aunt and uncle, and Ben Kenobi watching from the edge of the desert. The money Padmé had gotten from selling her ship had paid to expand the homestead enough for six people to live comfortably, but the former Jedi had insisted it was safer if he kept his distance, guarding the perimeter around the twins.
Obi-Wan had plenty of opinions about how the twins should be raised. Opinions about their training. Opinions about their friendships. And opinions about Padmé’s continued interactions with Bail Organa, Mon Mothma, and nearly every other rebel cell in the galaxy. And for six years, Padmé ignored him. He was their teacher. Not their father.
She was finishing a coded message for the Fulcrum agents one morning when Luke came in holding his toy X-Wing. “Hi, baby boy,” she cooed, immediately putting her work away to look at him. “I thought you and your sister were helping Aunt Beru today.”
Luke beamed at his mother. "We were, Mommy, but I got distracted because of my secret," he rocked on the balls of his feet, looking very proud of himself.
“And what secret is that?”
"It's a secret that I have to tell you, but I have to whisper in your ear," he grinned and extended his arms so she would pick him up. "Please, Mommy?"
“Alright.” Smiling, she lifted him into her lap and ruffled his hair. “What’s the secret?”
Luke placed his little hands around her ear. "Daddy told me that you looked very beautiful today and he asked me to tell you that he loves you very, very much."
“Daddy?” she repeated. “You saw your father?”
He nodded. "Leia and I see him all the time. Sometimes, he tells us bedtime stories. He's also in the lessons Uncle Ben gives us and makes us laugh. Uncle Ben doesn't see him so it's very funny. Sometimes… we see him next to you. He's like a blue angel, Mommy."
“I see.” Padmé felt an ache in her heart that Anakin wouldn’t appear to her, but she knew him. She knew why he’d make that choice. “You know, that’s what he called me when we first met. An angel.”
"I know. He told us," Luke grinned. "We… We never said anything because it was our secret. I asked him if I could tell you today, you were sad this morning, and he said yes because…" Luke thought for a moment like he had forgotten before his little head turned to the side and his eyes squinted. "Oh, because he doesn't want you to lose faith and that he's keeping his promise." He suddenly chirped.
Padmé looked at the spot where Luke had been gazing and sighed. “I know you are, Ani. I love you.”
There was a gust of wind around them, and Luke's eyes turned sad for a moment. "I don't like when he leaves." His hands tightened around his mother's dress.
“Neither did I, baby.” Padmé rocked him back and forth. “But no one’s ever really gone, not if you love them and keep them in your heart. You can do that, can’t you?”
Luke nodded slowly. "Yes, Mommy."
“That’s my good boy.” She kissed his forehead. “Now, how about we go find your sister and help Aunt Beru with lunch?”
He kissed her cheek and jumped to the ground, grabbing his toy and then left running, calling out for Leia. Padmé lingered a moment longer, spinning the japor snippet between her fingers.
“I miss you every day, love. But I’m keeping my promise too.”
If she had been able to see him, she would have noticed his presence behind her. A blue Force ghost wrapping his arms around her from behind. "I love you."