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“Sisyphus,” El Cid’s low and clear voice rung out in the expansive catacomb. “We need to move on.” His words however had no effect on Sisyphus’ silhouette, he still stood there, motionless, his fists clenched. “Sisyphus,” even when El Cid called for him again, his eyes continued to comb over the inscription, his teeth biting into his lower lip. Cid stood barely a foot behind him, his own shoulders stiff and his back upright. But nonetheless, he waited patiently.
All of a sudden Sisyphus snapped, one of his fists slamming into the wall as he let out a loud cry. Cid winced ever-so-slightly, his eyes widening for a moment, the muscles in his jaw going taught. Sisyphus’ scream echoed down the cave corridors, not even fully dying out before he let out a dry, frustrated sob.
“Nothing. All this way to come here and we found nothing.”
Cid didn’t respond, his hands twitching at his sides as he watched his beloved with growing distress starting to edge its way into his composed features.
“We still have another lead. I am certain we will find what we are looking for.”
Sisyphus grimaced, slamming his other fist into the wall. “You say that but--!”
“I know that it is impossible to say for certain,” El Cid continued, staying Sisy’s rage with the pure calmness in his voice. “But we have no other choice than to move on and discover for ourselves.”
Sisyphus let out a dry chuckle, slumping against the wall. For a moment, it seemed like he might cry. His shoulders began to tremble, his breathing starting to become ragged.
“Sisyphus--” El Cid said again, his voice only barely penetrating the thick cloud that had descended over Sisyphus’ thoughts. Even Cid’s voice that was such a comfort to him quickly faded into oblivion. Sisyphus stared at the dimly lit stone face once again, the lights starting to blur as his vision grew watery. But he bit down on the despair, a much worse pain crawling up in his gut, when he thought about how disappointed the pope would be when they came back empty handed. He wondered too if Sasha would greet him with a smile, or instead with disdain for his shortcomings.
“Sisyphus!” El Cid’s voice came firmer this time, just loud enough to get his attention. But his mind still swirled, even as he turned around, suddenly face to face with his companion. Sisyphus stared at El Cid in shocked silence for a few moments, all but entranced by the torchlight dancing in El Cid’s ink-black eyes. But as he returned to the cold damp reality of the cave, he also noticed the burning warmth of Cid’s hand on his shoulder. Even through the thick fabric of his coat, Sisyphus could feel his skin come alive.
Sisyphus started to move to shake him off, but Cid just held on tighter, his knuckles going white. Sisyphus looked back at Cid, and saw his composure begin to crack. Cid’s lips were pressed together tightly, his gaze unwavering. Sisyphus’ lips parted slightly, as he felt himself being drawn in, his body moving on its own. He turned toward El Cid casting his eyes down as he gravitated toward’s El Cid’s warmth.
Sisyphus could now feel El Cid’s breath on his face, their mist mingling together as they grew closer. They stood there in silence, El Cid’s grip not wavering in the slightest. Sisyphus took another tentative step forward, wondering how far Cid’s sense of duty would allow their intimacy proceed. He then placed his hands tentatively on El Cid’s chest, half expecting to be rejected.
El Cid’s body stiffened slightly before relaxing. His grip on Sisyphus’ shoulder became much closer to a comforting touch, and Sisyphus took that as a signal to lean closer. Sisyphus closed his eyes, leaning his forehead against Cid’s, feeling a firm hand go to rest on the back of his head. Sisyphus let out a shuddering breath, letting the sounds and sensations of El Cid’s presence surround him, willing for it to purge the darkness from his heart.
When it became too much to resist, Sisyphus angled his chin down slightly, meeting El Cid’s lips in a brief kiss. Pulling away, Sisyphus saw Cid’s eyes widen momentarily in surprise. But his brows soon furrowed once again, seeing that the kiss hadn’t been enough to somehow magically lift Sisyphus’ spirits.
Sisyphus let out a shuddering breath, pressing his body tightly against El Cid’s. Cid staggered slightly, moving his hands to Sisyphus’ back to support him. With their roughly equal heights, there was no hiding the desperation in Sisyphus’ expression. Just one kiss was far from enough.
Cid grimaced momentarily, moving one hand to Sisyphus’ lower back, pursing his lips just when Sisyphus kissed him again. He let out a low grunt, Sisyphus’ hands digging into his body like claws. Sisyphus’s lips were unrelenting, his purposeful steps forcing Cid backwards until he found himself with his back against the opposite wall. Cid’s lips closed, his hands falling away. Sisyphus took that cue to pull back, his glinting eyes gazing at Cid full of desperation.
“Cid...” Sisyphus whispered, one hand trailing down the buttons of Cid’s coat. He then gently leaned close, pressing his thigh against Cid’s groin gently.
“No, Sisyphus,” Cid said, grabbing the back of Sisy’s neck and meeting his gaze. “Not right now, not when you’re like this.”
“Cid, please...”
“I said no.”
Sisyphus’ gaze was listless and he let his face slump into Cid’s chest. “I’m so sorry Cid...I’m awful...I’m a wretched man who would use your body to try and drown my sorrows.”
“I would gladly let you do whatever you wish with my body if that would ease your suffering,” Cid said, caressing Sisy’s cheek. “But I know that my touch won’t help you in this moment. ”
Sisy let out a strangled sob, clinging to El Cid even harder.
“Sisyphus, I promise you. We won’t stop until we’ve found something that will help us turn the tide in the coming war.”
Sisyphus didn’t respond, his body remaining limp. “El Cid, I trust you more than anyone, more than myself,” he said slowly. “So I know that you would never lie to me.”
El Cid wrapped his arms tightly around sisyphus. The last thing that Cid wanted was a desperate embrace in this dark and desecrated cave. If the fates had allowed it, El Cid would have much rather taken Sisyphus to live a quiet life somewhere in the countryside. If it were in his power, El Cid would make it so that only smiles could be tasted on Sisyphus’ lips.
El cid brought sisyphus back to their inn and laid him down on the bed that they shared. Sisyphus did not appear to be asleep, but Cid treated him as if he was. El cid removed his coat and loosened his breeches. Sisyphus remained motionless as Cid did the same for sisy, undressing him until he was ready to sleep as comfortably as he could.
El Cid pulled himself into bed once he was ready and wordlessly wrapped his arms around Sisyphus.
“So, you won’t have sex with me right now? Even when I’m at my lowest?” Sisyphus said suddenly. “Am I really that pathetic that even you don’t want me anymore?”
“Sisyphus,” El Cid said firmly.
“I’m sorry.”
“Sisyphus, I do not enjoy seeing you like this. I know that you crave distraction, release. But—” El Cid pressed his lips together. “It feels like I would be taking advantage of you. I cannot imagine myself enjoying such intimacy with you while you are suffering like this.”
Sisy turned on his side and looked back at El Cid, his eyes wide. “El Cid…”
Cid reached over and rubbed his thumb over a lingering tear on Sisy’s cheek.
“Tomorrow we will rest. We will not conduct our investigation, instead we will enrich ourselves in the town.”
“But—” El Cid Silenced Sisy by pressing his tumb over Sisy’s soft red lips.
“And to fully enrich and rejuvenate ourselves, we must first get a full night’s rest.”
Sisy let his lips purse against Cid’s thumb, his tongue staring to slip out, almost desperate for even a small taste of El Cid.
Cid then moved his hand to cup Sisyphus’ cheek. “Is that agreeable?”
Sisyphus nodded. “Yes, it is.”
Cid leaned in and gave Sisyphus an incredibly gentle kiss. Sisy sighed into Cid's mouth, his tongue falling out lazily to slide between El Cid's lips for just a moment.
The two of them held each other as they both began to drift off.
The next day, El Cid took Sisyphus to a horse ranch on the edge of town. As El Cid had all but commanded, the two of them would be taking a leisure day. El Cid had made the acquaintance of a friendly stable owner who generaously agreed to let them ride some of their horses. El Cid had also detailed that they would ride together into a secluded area of lake country reccomended by the locals.
El Cid explained this all in his low and placid voice, but Sisyphus could tell that El Cid was elated. But the quirk of his lips and the slack of his shoulders, Sisyphus could tell that El Cid was looking forward so much to spending a day riding the countryside with his beloved Sisyphus.
As they stood together, about to enter the threshold, Sisyphus finally found it impossible to remain silent any longer.
“El Cid…” Sisyphus began.
“What is it?”
“I have to confess…I’ve never actually ridden a horse.” Sisyphus hardly dared to look at Cid, but when he did, he saw that Cid’s face was completely nuetral. Dispite the fact that Sisyphus knew more than anyone that Cid didn’t often emote, Sisyphus still had anticipated some sort of negative reaction.
“Very well, we will ride together on one horse then.” Cid nodded pointedly as if it was the most simple and obvious solution. That was the case, however, Sisyphus and El Cid were two sizable adult men. The two of them astride a single steed would be quite the sight. Despite that, Sisyphus’ cheeks warmed at the thought of holding on to Cid so closely.
The two of them then entered the stable’s store front, Cid exchanging a quick greeting with the shop owners.
He spoke fast and smooth, his hand going up to gesture that they would instead only require one horse to ride.
Sisyphus, while having a fluent understanding of spanish, found it difficult to understand their fast-talking dialogue so he just smiled and followed close behind. It was common for saints to be proficient in many regional languages, Sisyphus however had focused his studies on ancient languages. While he could read and understand ancient greek, latin and even arabic, catalan spanish was apparantly too much for him.
El Cid nodded to Sisyphus when he was done talking to the stable keep and the two of them headed out to where they could pick up their horse.
The horse that was brought to them was a massive black steed, a mare, they were told. Sisyphus had no idea that female horses could get that large.
Cid walked towards the horse with a complete natural calmness, same as ever. He kept his gaze straight and approached the horse to stroke her mane. The horse blinked and seemed to size Cid up before giving a huff and turning her head to let Cid scratch her ears.
“I was told that she is their strongest horse. Very level headed, but can easily sense nervousness.”
Sisyphus suddenly began to sweat.
El Cid’s calm eyes then met Sisy’s with the indication that Sisy should pet the mare too.
“Her name is Tanya,” El Cid said. “You have to approach her calmly without any fear, and she will accept you.”
Sisyphus looked back at the massive animal. Inexplicably unable to feel anything but fear. In a moment of inpulse, Sisyphus’ hand darted out to grab El Cid’s free hand. El Cid had taken off his gloves to tend to the horse, and so Sisyphus felt El Cid’s smooth bare skin. A shock of warmth and then immense calm surged through sisyphus.
There was no one watching, and yet the act was incredibly brazen. Even if Sisyphus had been a woman, El Cid didn’t seem the type to much like public displays of affection. But, El Cid didn’t jerk away, he instead interlaced his fingers with Sisyphus’ and squeezed tight.
Sisyphus then felt himself gain just a bit of strength. The warmth of El Cid’s hand was sometimes enough to get him through whatever came his way.
Sisyphus was nervous by nature, and did his best to hide it. With El Cid by his side, he was able to keep up that facade, but this horse could easily see through him.
Sisyphus then reached his horse out to the mare, keeping his gaze and hand steady. His hand then came to rest on the mare’s sleek black mane. She gave a satisfied whinny and leaned into Sisyphus’ hand, flicking her tail briefly.
El Cid then stepped forward and patted the mare’s neck firmly with his free hand. Despite the horse having now accepted him, Sisyphus was reluctant to let go of El Cid’s hand.
But eventually, Sisyphus let Cid free to finish preparing the horse to be ridden.
“You get on first, I’ll help you,” Cid said, turning to face Sisyphus.
Following Cid’s instructions, Sisy put one foot in the stirrup and pulled himself onto the horse. A simple feat of strength like this, Sisy could handle easily, but he did enjoy Cid’s hands on his waist supporting him. A mere moment later, Cid mounted the horse behind Sisyphus and reached around Sisy to grab the reigns. “The way you hold your body and compensate for the horse’s movements is very important. Be sure to follow me very carefully. ”
Sisyphus nodded. While Cid’s physical closeness was often times very calming, there were also times when a single touch could cause Sisyphus’ heart to start racing madly. Sisyphus took in a deep breath. “Take a hold of the pommel there while I demonstrate how to handle the reins.
Sisyphus held on tightly, listening to Cid’s low and smooth voice as he explained everything. Sisyphus of course was playing rapt attention, but he also felt sweat begin to collect under his collar.
El Cid lead them around the horse’s riding pen for a few laps, explaining the various commands and procedures before letting Sisyphus try for himself.
Sisyphus couldn’t help but feel a bit foolish. This seemed like a skill he should have acquired long ago. Not only as a warrior, but as the Sagittarius saint. But as such an important saint, he had many duties and many skills he had been compelled to perfect. There was no one in the sanctuary who could hope to come close to him in archery. While he should have pride in that accomplishment, instead he felt a searing shame that he had neglected to so much as learn to mount a horse on his own.
Almost as if Cid could read his mind, Cid’s hand moved to rest on Sisy’s thigh that had begun to shake ever so slightly. “Do not lambast yourself for not having learned this. As saints we are expected to exceed human limitations and stand on our own.”
Sisy nodded, his grip tightening on the reigns.
El Cid directed Sisyphus in his low soft voice and the two of them made their way out of the pen and onto the nearby country road.
El Cid talked Sisyphus through the commands, and taught him how to bounce his body along with the horse as they sped to a trot.
Down the dirt road, they took a turn into a wide hilly area even further from the towns. After a while, they came upon a thickly wooded area bordering a small river.
“Let us stop here so that the horse can drink.”
Sisyphus was more than glad to. When the horse came to a stop, El Cid dismounted with exceeding grace. El Cid then turned back and extended his hand up to Sisyphus. Sisy grabbed El Cid’s hand. In trying to move, he found that his leg muscles were incredibly sore, scarcely even able to move.
“It takes a while for your legs to become accustomed to riding. Do not force yourself.”
Sisyphus forced himself to bear it and swung his leg over to face Cid and slid himself off the horse without reaching for El Cid’s hand. However, as soon as his feet hit the ground, his legs no longer supported him and he began to fall to the ground.
El Cid’s arms were there to catch him before Sisy even registered that he was falling. Sisy let himself be supported by Cid, the two of them moving to go sit by the river. Cid sat Sisyphus down and then went back to the horse to lead her to drink. But soon enough, El Cid was back, sitting next to Sisyphus.
There was not much to talk about, nor any real need for it. But the two of them were alone, neither of them could sense any other human around for several leagues. And so without a word, the two interlaced their hands and laid back on the grass to look up at the sky. Sisyphus let out a long breath and closed his eyes, finally able to truly relax. This journey had been difficult for both of them, but as they were there to support one another, it could be managed.
El Cid rolled onto his side, and reach a hand over to Sisy’s lap. “If your thighs are sore, please don’t hide it from me.”
“I promise I’m fine.”
“We shouldn’t ride again until you are recovered.”
“There’s no need—” El Cid suddenly pressed his fingers into the muscles of Sisyphus’ upper thigh. Sisyphus had no time to brace and so was not able to conceal how much it hurt. Sisy’s face completely folded in agony and he let out a pained squeak through his teeth.
El Cid gave a disapproving scowl, never happy when Sisyphus chose to hide his suffering. And so, El Cid proceeded to very gently massage Sisyphus’ muscles without asking.
Sisyphus let out small squeaks whenever Cid his particularly sensitive spots, but otherwise didn’t complain. He was in so much pain that he wasn’t even aroused in the slightest. Instead, he kept a tight hold on El Cid’s other hand.
“I’m sorry,” Sisyphus said once El Cid had finished. Sisyphus sheepishly avoided El Cid’s gaze, causing cid to frown again.
El Cid gently took ahold of Sisyphus’ chin and then leaned in to give Sisyphus a kiss. The kiss was surprisingly deep, El Cid pulling down on Sisyphus’ jaw and pressing his tongue inside Sisyphus’ mouth.
Sisyphus let out a low moan, unable to contain how much he loved the sensation of of El Cid’s lips and tongue.
El Cid pulled away and looked deep into Sisyphus’ eyes. “How are you feeling?”
Sisyphus gave a small smirk. “Better, I think.”
With no one there for leagues around, they remained there in their embrace. Kissing, caressing and holding each other close.