Work Text:
Phil stirred from his awkward position in the uncomfortable hospital chair. He wondered if they made them like that on purpose to keep visitors from staying too long so the doctors could go about their business without distractions. He repositioned himself again so he was facing the man in the bed next to him. Nick’s monitors beeped steadily and his chest rose and fell but his utter stillness and the grayish hue to his skin filled Phil with dread. He wanted to reach out and take his hand, feel its reassuring warmth against his skin, but he resisted the impulse as he had so many times before. Nick wouldn’t know this time of course but somehow that was worse than Nick waking up and pulling away because it meant Nick wasn’t just sleeping off a hard op while Phil kept watch, it meant that there was a chance he might never wake up again. He was abruptly pulled from his thoughts by the arrival of Nick’s doctor.
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave for now Agent Coulson. We’ll let you know when we have any news.”
“Right of course,” he struggled to get to his feet, his leg had gone numb and he was still stiff and sore from his fight with Lady Bullseye.
“There’s a family waiting room down the hall on your left. There’s coffee and the chairs are more comfortable.” She smiled sympathetically at him.
“Thanks,” Phil tried a wan smile but from the look on her face he didn’t quite manage it.
He made his way down the hall and into the room on autopilot. It was only the sight of Clint Barton sprawled in one of the chairs, battered and still in uniform, feet on the coffee table, that wrenched his thoughts away from the gaping void that opened whenever he thought about losing Nick.
“What are you doing here?” Clint’s eyes opened.
“Waiting to hear about Nick same as you. I thought I’d wait here though. Wasn’t sure you’d want to see me.”
“I’m sorry about earlier with the gun-"
“No man it’s okay I know what it looked like. I’m just sorry I didn’t get to him sooner.”
“Yeah,” Phil didn’t want to think about it, about Nick bleeding and alone, unconscious by the time they’d reached him.
“The doctor said there was coffee?” Clint snorted.
“If you want to call it that. It’s over there,” he gestured towards the little kitchenette in the corner. ,
Despite Clint’s less than stellar review he busied himself for a moment making a cup and then sat down and breathed in the almost-coffee smell of it. They sat in silence for several minutes Phil bent over his coffee and trying not to think and Clint fidgeting in his seat and playing with his hearing aids.
“Did they tell you anything new?” Clint asked after a while.
“No. I’m not sure they even can. None of us are his family.”
“You two aren’t-you know,” he made a vague gesture with his hands as if he couldn’t articulate what he wanted to say with words, “I thought you were partners- romantic ones I mean."
“No,” Phil said a little sharply. “We aren’t together.”
“It’s just that you kind of look at him he hangs the moon you know? You have since I met you two and I just always thought you were in love with him.”
“I didn’t say I wasn’t.”
“Oh.”
They were silent again for a while the only sounds the squeaks of the hospitals staff’s no-slip shoes and the distant beep of medical equipment.
“You should probably tell him.”
“Clint-”
“I’d want to know alright? I’d want to know if my best friend was in love with me. Unless you already did?”
“I think I made myself pretty clear during the space mission. And he didn’t do anything so- I’m going to respect that.”
“Did you say ‘hey Nick I’m in love with you’?”
“Well no-”
“Look I know I’m not exactly the right person to be giving relationship advice-"
“I’ve worked with three of your exes. Two of whom just refer to you as ‘the troubled one’. I know what a travesty your love life is.”
“But, I do know that you can’t just assume you know what another person is thinking,” he shrugs. “He almost died today, do you really want to let this go because you think you know what he was thinking? It’s up to you.”
Phil was saved from having to reply by the arrival of a nurse informing him he was allowed to return to Nick’s room. However, he thought about it as he watched Nick struggle through the rest of the night. Phil was dozing restlessly in the uncomfortable guest chair when Nick finally woke up the next afternoon. His eyes were a little unfocused but eventually the fixed on Phil’s face.
“Hey Cheese.”
“Hey, Marcus.”
“You look like shit.”
“I’ve been pining at your bedside all night and that’s the thanks I get?”
Nick’s lips twitched at that.
“How long-?”
“Just since yesterday. After you wounded it Clint was able to trick the Fury into coming close enough for him to take it out with a couple well placed grenade arrows.”
“Thank fuck. He okay?”
“Yeah he’s been drinking really bad coffee and bickering with Kate by text all morning.”
The doctor strode in alerted by the change in monitors. Phil stepped aside as she began checking equipment and Nick’s injuries. She didn’t ask Phil to leave this time.
“It’s too early to say for sure but it seems you’ve dodged the worst consequences of your condition, Agent Fury. No major brain damage and it appears that your other wounds are clotting in a healthy manner. Your bones will take a while to heal and there will be some pretty rigorous PT in your future but waking up and having most of for faculties intact is a good sign. A nurse will be in, in a few minutes with some more painkillers for your IV now that you’re awake.”
“So, sounds like I’ll live, that’s good” Nick joked as she left. Phil felt the knot that had settled in his gut since he’d seen Nick’s prone form loosen and he collapsed back into the chair.
“Yeah, that’s good,” he managed to smile back, still weak, but with relief rather than grief this time.
“Nick, I-uh-I’m,” he swallowed a few times his mouth suddenly gone dry, at a loss. Instead of finishing his sentence he finally reached across the gulf between his chair and the bed and took Nick’s hand in his. Nick’s eyes widened and he squeezed Phil’s hand. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Well ‘I-uh’ too.”
Phil ran his thumb over Nick’s knuckles, a probably ridiculous grin on his face.
“You know once they get me off the good stuff and I’ll actually be able to remember it you owe me a proper bedside confession right?”
“I’ll make sure it’s good one.”
The nurse arrived with a new bag for Nick’s IV and soon he was starting to nod off again. Phil, drained and exhausted dropped off as well still holding Nick’s hand.