Chapter Text
Remembering
It’s been 2 years since Carol left earth on her mission to help Talos and the Skrull find a home. Yet, it’s not been as easy as she imagined. It’s not the task that’s exactly more difficult, rather the emotional turmoil within herself which she finds arduous.
Much like she had been when she was with the Kree, she’s once again haunted by her family back home. Except, this time it’s not because of the lack of memories but instead the onslaught of memories, which cannot possibly be real, that torment her.
Many things are still hazy and there’s gaps which she is starting to understand she may never get back. It’s easy for her to come to terms with trivial things she has forgotten, like what her favourite toys were as a child; and even more important things like the reason she stopped speaking to her parents, or was it the other way around?
However, now she is tormented by dreams that are becoming increasingly frequent, which involve Maria and herself in positions more friendly than “best friends.” There are vivid scenes of plump lips pressed against her own, ungodly moans and whimpers; and half-lidded dark eyes which scream ‘come to bed’. There are flashes of more tender moments, like the whispered ‘I love you’ which comes from her lips holding weight differently than she would a friend. These are the moments she finds more unbelievable because they paint a picture of a beautiful love, something she cannot possibly have forgotten or that Maria wouldn’t have told her about.
More recently, there are the visions that cause her to wake with a start, her heart racing, forehead sweating and her hands fisting the bed sheets. It’s not such a problem when she sleeps, but the daydreams which leave her skin prickling and her hands suddenly glowing, at the most inappropriate of times, is starting to get in the way.
Talos can tell something’s up and when he tries to broach the topic, her quick wit and charm usually manage to swiftly change the topic. Until one day it’s not enough, and he’s more insistent on finding out what’s wrong with the woman who is now his closest friend.
“You’re distracted. It’s like you’ve still got that thing at the back of your head, scrambling your mind.” He says knowingly.
“I am not distracted, I’ve never been more focussed in my lif –” she begins but as her mind floats to Maria she notices her hands begin to glow.
Talos looks at her knowingly before he presses more urgently for her to open up.
“Do you miss home?”
He knows she does, but he needs her to admit it out loud, if only so she can finally hear it and begin to come to terms with her troubles.
She’s stubborn and still finds it difficult to articulate her feelings, because Carol knows he is right. She is distracted and Maria’s face plays on a loop in her mind, some memories, some dreams and she’s finding it difficult to distinguish between the two.
“I miss them.” She admits, taking a long shaky breath.
“But it’s more than that, isn’t it?” He presses.
“I miss her – Maria. And, well, I think… I think I loved her.” The words stumble out her mouth with little grace.
Talos doesn’t say anything but he gives her an encouraging smile.
“I love her.” She adds, realisation dawning on her.
“I love her.” Carol repeats, relief clear in her voice.
“Good, you’ve finally said it.” Talos is beaming watching Carol finally confront her issues.
“You knew?”
“I mean if it wasn’t for the longing looks Maria sent your way, the whole you two living together and raising a child sort of suggested it.”
Carol looked back at their reunion, the heartbroken way Maria had explained what happened to her, the fact that Maria must have been her next of kin. It was all there she just never connected the dots.
“But why didn’t she tell me?”
There was feeling of anger building within Carol. She had loved her, more as a wife than a friend, and Maria let her go.
“Maybe it’s time you go find out.” Talos suggests.
“What if she doesn’t want me anymore, what if she’s moved on?”
There’s a million what if’s going through her mind. She may be comfortable with who she is now, but parts of the Carol Maria knew are gone, and may never come back; and there’s parts of Vers that are now forever a part of her.
“I’m an echo, a ghost of the Carol she loved. What if she can’t love this version of me?” She voices her insecurities.
“Something tells me she wouldn’t have gone on a deadly mission to space, risking her life, if she couldn’t.”
Talos insists they will be okay for a while without her. She’s not convinced until he tells her she’s putting them all in danger when her spirit is somewhere else.
So, she finds herself back on earth a short while later, completely confused as to what she’s going to say when she sees the woman that she is now aware she loves in a very different way than she had been led to believe.