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Instincts and heart weren't meant to disagree. They were born in sync and in sync, they should have always worked. Going against your heart or your instincts was painful, especially for the ones like him who lived in fear every moment of their lives.
When She, the light and night of his life, found him, and when they build a home together, connected their crumbles — more of his than Hers — his instincts and heart lived in peace for years. If it weren't for The Human, he would have forgotten how they used to collide constantly. Because of The Human, and his kind, though, he never forgot — instead he hid it somewhere deep inside of him.
His time was so simple now. He loved, fed and protected his family, proudly watched his hatchlings fly for the first time, She always beside him. He was too content and happy to ever feel the sparks of sadness inside him. The sparks only sometimes turned into a fire that he wanted to shoot out at a rock or a tree, just to see something else burn too as he did. Sometimes was at night, alone and feeling how both his heart and instincts wept like living, breathing things. Instincts asked him why his back felt light when there used to be weight, where was the familiar smell; the mix of iron and butter and something else. Heart remembered the eyes like forest and grass, the soft touch and a voice like home.
Sometimes he felt torn apart and sometimes it was scary. But when he saw the sun and watched his family wake up, surround him with their warmth, he accepted it quietly and enjoyed his life with his Mate and little hatchlings.
He was secretly pleased as he looked at his hatchlings impish play on the rocks, even if it was his job to tell them to be careful and alert when they were outside, away from home, their world where it was safe. They were curious and reckless, just like he had once been.
Then, suddenly, he heard the sound of something heavy, right ahead of them.
Danger.
His family, unprotected, except by him. As he saw the manmade, large object, floating, coming towards them through the mist, his instincts flared like a mountain coughing out a part of its fiery core.
Defend. Kill.
No, his heart didn't agree. Humans. Warn, attack if you must.
He flew to the humans, landing on the surface of the floating and loomed over them. He smelled the fear of the smaller ones, hatchlings. The female smelled protective, unsure, like his Mate across the water on the rocks.
The male was careful with his movements and it made his heart falter. His instincts pushed him to attack, they were practically screaming for defense as a response to the lack of fear the male was sending him with his scent. The male was trusting, even.
Then the human male spoke and his heart wanted so badly to believe it but he couldn't, not when he wasn't alone.
He had to be sure, for his Mate and hatchlings.
The male offered his smaller paw to him, an act of utter trust.
Him, him, HIM! his heart stubbornly sang.
He leaned in and only a little bit was all it took for him to smell the male.
Every part of his body relaxed right then, before tensing again, because of sheer joy!
His human. His human. He smelled fish, sweat, sea, iron. His instincts and heart together smelled home, comfort, memories, The Boy, The Man, The Human, Hiccup.
Hiccuphiccuphiccuphiccuphiccuphiccuphiccup.
Ohhh, how right it felt when both his instincts and heart agreed!
He pounced on his friend and heard a delightful yelp before the familiar paws patted him all over. He could have soared right into the oblivion in his joy and he embraced the longing that consumed him, finally breaking free after such a long time.
He tried his best to lick off the strange hair on Hiccup's face, cursing it for betraying him and preventing him from recognizing his human.
"How's the tail holding up?" Hiccup asked through his laughter.
He spread some extra drool over his human so he could smell his old home properly — the mix of Hiccup and his scents together, like on the warm days when they were too tired to even go flying so they lied on the grass instead, napping.
Every part of his soul felt free once more, nothing was hidden away. His hatchlings must have been so confused to see him like this, playing with a stranger like he was their own kind.
When Hiccup let him go and turned to the three other humans, The Girl — he recognized Her know, he felt so giddy — pushed the small hatchlings towards them. He let out a soft sound, a friendly sound and smelled the air between him and the hatchlings, his human's hatchlings. There was still the scent of fear but also eternal curiousness, so resembling his own hatchlings' nature.
"You hold your hands out... like this." It was such a joy to see Hiccup teach his hatchlings. They had so much to share.
He didn't consider long before touching his snout against their little paws. They were part of Hiccup, they smelled so familiar to him, and he would never hurt them.
He licked their paws too — family, they were his family.
"Yuck!" the female hatchling cried out. "Mooooom, it licked me!" The hatchling laughed then, sounding like Hiccup. "So cool!"
The male hatchling swayed on his place, his mouth open.
He mimicked the hatchling's swaying, wondering if it was his way to be friendly or if he was going to fall down and sleep just like Hiccup sometimes had done when he was overwhelmed.
"'He', darling." The Girl told the hatchling.
"Astrid, I think our son is going to faint."
He watched The Girl stroke the male hatchling's hair, hushing and comforting, before their eyes met.
"Hi, Toothless, remember me?" The Girl extended her paw towards him and he bumped his snout right into it before giving her a welcoming lick.
The Girl laughed, "It's so cool!", the female Hatchling said, then he was patted on his head gently and he hummed in joy.
"I hope Stromfly has taken good care of you."
He recognized the word "Stormfly" in a heartbeat. He pounced on his paws, excited like a young dragon once more, before grooming his human's hair on top of his head.
"Aw, Toothless, c'mon, I don't need a bath!" His human whined like he was in pain but it was a game, their game. Hiccup embraced him tightly again and he purred before pushing him on the ground. He playfully slapped Hiccup's sides and his human whined more.
"Still able to beat me, bud! You are indeed the greatest dragon of them all!"
It earned a giggle from the youngest hatchling.
He was pleased to smell no more fear in any of them.
He heard his Mate's call, worried but trusting.
He answered. My human! Safe! My human is here! Happy, I'm so happy!
He could see his own hatchlings jumping on the rocks, relaxed by his joyful yell and the promise of something new and exciting.
He looked at his human, looking at them.
"I can't believe you have babies, Toothless." He smelled of salt. His eyes were wet. The Girl, Astridastridastrid, touched Hiccup's shoulder. "I'm alright," Hiccup said to The Girl. "Just... My heart feels really full right now."
He didn't understand all of the words his human said, but he could understand what he was feeling. He gently nuzzled at Hiccup's chest, both sad and happy at how much his human had grown.
"Bud..." Hiccup said, scratching his chin. They were both happy. Sad too but so happy.
"Dad's crying?" the female hatchling said and it made Hiccup rub his paw against his face, getting rid of the salty water.
"I'm not," his human said, stubborn as always.
"He's lying," The Girl whispered to the hatchlings.
"Lead the way, Toothless." His human pointed towards the rocks.
He jumped back on the edge of the floating, ready to fly back but then he stopped.
Both his heart and instincts said no.
"What's the matter, bud?" His human sounded so unsure suddenly, careful.
He turned back to Hiccup, letting out a gentle sound. He circled his way back to Hiccup, blinking his eyes slowly and then widely opening his mouth in a smile when he saw Hiccup's eyes brighten, understanding.
"I... can ride?"
His stupid human, so unsure for no reason at all. He hummed, kicking his tail against Hiccup's legs.
Hiccup smiled then, just as widely as he did.
"I'll go ahead, I guess?" His human said to The Girl.
"You should see your face. You look like you found a talking dragon."
"Well, technically, the dragons do speak with specific and individual sounds and—"
"Gods, please. Go ahead." The Girl pressed her mouth against Hiccup's cheek.
"Follow dad, alright?" his human said to the hatchlings and nuzzled their heads. "Remember what I told you about the canvas, okay?" Hiccup said to the younger hatchling, like it was something very important.
The small one was cute when he nodded and answered, "Okay!"
He too, sounded so much like Hiccup.
When Hiccup climbed on his back, it was a strange feeling.
His human, at the beginning, when both of them knew nothing, had made him question his instincts for the first time and taught him to follow his heart. It wasn't easy and it hurt him when he knew he couldn't always trust his nature — instead, he knew he could always trust Hiccup. Two parts of him were constantly against each other, sometimes it was for the better and sometimes for the worst, and in the end, he knew it was worth it.
But now it felt different.
"Ready, Toothless?" He could hear the joy in Hiccup's voice.
He flew and the secure weight on his back silenced both his heart and instincts. Because of his human, the one who had created havoc inside of him in the first place, had once again brought him peace.
He wondered if now, little by little, he could finally feel completely whole.