Chapter Text
olivia had never been the most
complex character.
she had known little emotion for as long as she could remember, and she preferred it to be that way. her parents had never taught her to feel, and so she did not.
she lived her life simply, earning her money bartending at seoul’s psyche indie club. in olivia’s opinion, it was extremely boring to be a bartender there. but it paid well, so she was fine working there.
wednesday started as every other day. she woke up at two in the afternoon, having stayed up until seven in the morning. her job required her to stay up so late she was basically working night shifts.
she worked almost every day but sunday. there were other bartenders, but olivia had nothing going on in her life, resulting in her doing nothing but bartending.
she got out of bed an hour later, at three, to eat a breakfast that was already too late to be lunch. she chewed on some leftover sushi she ordered on sunday. it was close to being spoiled, so she had to eat it quickly.
she didn’t eat much, really. she told herself continuously it was simply because she overworked herself, but while this was true, she subconsciously denied herself of food.
she had grown skinnier, and she couldn’t say she wasn’t proud of her stick-thin wrists. while it was a large part of her life, she tried her best to ignore her unhealthy habits.
when she looked at her phone, the only notification was a missed call from her mother. she swiped to answer, but it ended up bringing her to voicemail. of course her mom didn’t pick up.
“hi, mom, it’s hyejoo. i’m not sure what you wanted to say, but i’m happy, safe and healthy. i’ll eat well and take care of myself, do not worry! love you.”
she left messages like this too often. the voice in her voicemails had become drastically different compared to her usual one, the latter much less high pitched and energetic.
truth was, she was tired. so tired. if she could, she’d sleep and sleep and sleep forever. but she couldn’t. she had bills to pay, lies to tell, and work to do. sometimes she wished she’d never been born at all, after all, why would you want a child if you’re only going to ignore their existence?
she still wondered what her parents must think of her. she really wanted to pretend she didn’t care, ignore them like they ignored her, but somewhere, she was starved for attention. she craved love, no matter what form. but she knew she didn’t deserve it.
since she didn’t invest much money in food, and worked seventy-two hours a week, she was able to rent a pretty decent apartment. only thing that mattered to her was the fact she had a bed and a roof, really.
she supposed it was quite inhumane of her boss to make her work six days a week, twelve hour shifts every day. she never asked for breaks when she was working, causing her to stand and move around continuously for twelve hours. it wasn’t uncommon for her to faint on the job, especially with the lack of food she consumed.
but she didn’t mind.
she didn’t really care at all. she had stopped caring about almost anything, really. the only thing she allowed herself to care about was music.
music was the only thing she could lose herself in. she never had the confidence to become a musician, but she liked to be surrounded by it at all times. if that meant working at an exceptionally shady indie club, then that was what it took.
the time had ran past her, suddenly it was four o’ clock. black coffee in her hand, a soft sigh escaped her mouth, tugging at her lips.
who was olivia?
olivia wasn’t even her actual name. simply an alias to escape the life hyejoo had lived. but, now her thoughts had set foot in the subject, it remained. it lingered, taking up her brain. who was olivia? who was hyejoo? what’s the difference between the two of them?
five pm. she arrived at psyche club. right on time, as always. she halfheartedly greeted her boss, a man with dark hair and dark eyes and dark eyebags. she had never seen him without a coffee cup in his hands.
olivia changed into her work shirt, suddenly feeling very threatened by her boss’ gaze. she shot him a
glare, and he immediately looked away. his fault for not investing in changing rooms. it was not like he hadn’t glanced at her like that before- even though she was only eighteen.
eight pm, a good crowd of people gathered on the dancefloor. despite its name, psyche indie club barely paid attention to the indie genre at all (hence why olivia preferred to take out the indie in the name). the newest hits played, korean and american. sometimes, a lesser known musician would perform.
according to the schedule, this was the case. the musician, ‘go won’ was supposed to arrive at eight thirty. and since yuri, another bartender, had just taken over the bartending, olivia had to accompany go won.
however, she was completely unfit for this task. she was about as introverted as a person could be, on top of considerably hostile to those that worked on her nerves. but it was whatever, she was only supposed to show go won their place.
just as she got to the staff room, she met her boss’ eyes. he was a lot taller than she was, so she had to lift her chin a bit to look him in the eyes. a choking silence rid olivia of her comfort, but her boss didn’t seem to notice.
“ah, olivia,” her boss spoke. only now did olivia notice the girl in the back of the room, a tiny blonde facing the other way, from what olivia could see.
“you’re here to accompany go won, right?” olivia nodded. the blonde girl turned around.
her smile imprisoned olivia.
the smile go won offered was as if pure sunshine sent straight towards olivia, an incredible warmth radiating from her face alone. olivia stood frozen as go won offered a short bow.
“hello, i’m go won. i’m performing here today.” her voice was sharp yet silky, as beautiful as she.
olivia was quiet for a little longer than considered normal.
“uh, hello. i’m olivia,” she bowed awkwardly. oh my god, olivia, you useless lesbian. go won didn’t seem to mind, though- she merely giggled uncomfortably. progress?
olivia didn’t dare to think of it. go won was only an artist set to perform here. nothing else.
“alright, i’ll take you to the artist room,” olivia spoke, go won nodding as the two of them left the staff room. she opened the door and let go won go in first, as the younger wondered why the artists got a changing room and the staff didn’t.
just as olivia was about to smile and leave her to go change, go won tapped her right foot nervously.
“olivia? this might be weird, but could you please help me a little bit?” go won’s voice was incredibly soft, vulnerable almost. and olivia, who had taken a liking to the girl, shattered and stayed with go won.
it wasn’t just because go won was pretty, and wonderful, and the embodiment of sunshine and daisies. it was also because olivia could see she was on the verge of crying, and was both worried and curious.
“okay. i’ll stay with you,” she spoke, a bit too monotone to sound human.
“what’s wrong?” she’d lowered her volume, hoping to express her concern using tone. she wasn’t very socially experienced, you see.
go won bit her lip nervously, her foot restlessly tapping the ground. she had eventually sat down on a couch, silence ruling the two girls.
“i’m sorry to burden you with my nerves, olivia. i have terrible stage fright,” she spoke worriedly.
olivia stood, frozen. what was she supposed to do about the hyperventilating blonde in front of her? she wiggled on her feet, awkwardness overtaking her. she was horrible, she was weak, she couldn’t even help someone calm down.
“okay— uh, how old are you?” olivia asked, voice low yet sharp, in an attempt to be somewhat calming. go won glanced up,
“nineteen,” she spoke in between rapid breaths. why did this girl even become an entrepeneur when she has such bad stage fright?
“okay, i’m eighteen,” she didn’t stutter anymore. “so, go won-“
“chaewon.”
“ah, okay, chaewon... i like that name, you know? it’s very cute,” olivia spoke, in a rambling manner but still in a soft, low voice.
“i’m olivia. it’s not my real name, my real name is hyejoo,” perhaps she told a stranger a secret not meant for listening ears.
chaewon frowned a bit, questioningly.
“why olivia?” she asked, her breaths less and less shallow. olivia shrugged nonchalantly,
“why go won?” avoided the question— skillfully. olivia slipped a small smile, perhaps more of a smirk, having circled the question properly.
“touché,” chaewon chuckled.
“thank you, olivia. i’m calm,” her voice was still quite high, but olivia supposed this might simply be her natural voice.
“it’s really no problem,” go for it olivia, ask her out. ask her to go for coffee, ask for her number. anything.
she opened her mouth to speak, but chaewon was earlier.
“when are you off work?” the blonde smiled, and olivia felt as if she was staring straight into the sun. heat rose to her cheeks, as she blinked a few times, confused.
“uh, whenever i want to. if my boss doesn’t let me leave i can just quit, really,” he overworked her anyway, so she wouldn’t care at all.
chaewon seemed a bit shocked, but gathered her composure quickly.
“alright, do you want to go grab some food after my set, or something?” she asked, a nervous hint to her voice, perhaps trembling even moreso than just before.
olivia rolled it around in her brain, kicked the thought until it landed it in a fitting place.
“yeah,” she began, “i’d like that quite a lot,” a dumbfounded smile illuminated her face as if flashing lights at a fair. she was excited.
chaewon blinked a few times, as if she was surprised someone wanted to go on a date with her. she, an ethereal being woven of light, wanted to go on a date? with olivia? the younger girl felt as if she was in the sky.
“oh, uh, it’s almost time for your set,” olivia mentioned, glancing at her watch, then back at chaewon.
“will you watch me play?” the blonde asked innocently, batting her eyelashes only slightly.
truth was, olivia had planned to just go home and sleep if it wasn’t for chaewon.
“yeah! i will,” who knew, perhaps this night would be different than the ones she’d had. perhaps olivia found something new to break her endless cycle. or rather, someone.