Work Text:
A RECONSTITUTED LIFE
by: Avoca
Starsky struggled against the weight of the two cotton blankets. His body ached and the rows of stitches pulled against his healing flesh. Snapshots of last night flickered in his memory. A very wet blond head leaning against his sodden pillows. Water cascading from the overhead sprinklers and drenching a very thin Huggy and a very hefty Dobey. Then security men, nurses and doctors had appeared as if by magic and the celebration party had ended abruptly. Hutch had tried to linger under the pretext of apologizing for his behavior but in reality to ensure that Starsky was not at the receiving end of any censure. Unfortunately liquor had brought out the klutz in Hutch and so with many curses and ssshs he had been escorted from the room by an embarrassed police captain. Starsky had received no reprimand from the ugly sister in charge or indeed from anybody else. The orderlies had succeeded in moving his bed to a vacant room and two nurses had helped him change into clean pajamas quickly and with the minimum of fuss.
Starsky lay back against the pillows and fought against the waves of pain that radiated through his body. Last night had been magic but he was paying the price today. He closed his eyes but opened them quickly when he heard a tap on the door of his room. The door was pushed open before Starsky had a chance to say anything. A tall man in his mid fifties with thinning grey hair and piercing blue eyes entered and strode to the end of the bed.
"Mr Hutchinson?" Starsky grimaced as he moved to sit up straighter. Thomas Hutchinson had that effect on people. He was like some stern schoolteacher from junior high and his appearance automatically made grown adults stand taller or sit straighter. Thomas Hutchinson moved to the side of Starsky's bed and ignoring the overstuffed armchair sat on the hard plastic chair beside the bedside locker.
"David, I'm sorry to see you like this." Thomas Hutchinson waved his right hand vaguely in Starsky's direction as he spoke. "I trust you received the fruit basket that Maureen and I sent?"
"Yes Si-, thank you."
"Well I'm glad that you are recovering from that unfortunate incident. I want to talk to you about Kenneth's plans."
Starsky smiled, only Hutch's father could describe an attempted murder made with a sub machine gun as an 'unfortunate incident'. The apple sure fell far from the tree, buddy.
The next twenty minutes were the most emotional pain inducing minutes that Starsky had ever endured. At first Thomas had sounded just like the caricature that Hutch mimicked after his infrequent calls home but then he had mentioned his last call to his son. The record in the jukebox in Starsky's head clicked on and somewhere in the midst of Thomas Hutchinson's speech about his son's future Starsky tuned out. The walls of his hospital room seem to be crowding in on Starsky. Thomas Hutchinson stood up and proffered his hand to the pale detective. Starsky took the hand and then he heard Thomas's voice clearly for the first time in fifteen minutes. "You don't look too good, David. I'll drop by the nurse's station on my way out." With a swish of the door he was gone and David Starsky was left with his soul in tatters.
Hutch walked quietly along the corridor that led to his partner's room. The tall blond man was having a hard time trying to make himself inconspicuous. His head ached from his overindulgence of liquor from the night before and his heart ached from learning the results of the aborted party. The charge nurse from hell had captured Hutch the minute he had got off the elevator and had spent ten minutes regaling him with the details of Starsky's physical condition. Hutch felt sick and stopped before Starsky's door to brace himself for Starsky's appearance.
Hutch entered Starsky's room with a shy grin on his face. Starsky was propped up on several pillows and his skin was pale and damp. Hutch made his way to the bed and folded himself into the armchair beside it. Starsky opened his eyes. Hutch smiled.
"Hey, help me sit up, will ya?" Starsky's eyes were clear.
"Sure, Buddy." Hutch eased his arm around Starsky's shoulders and very gently helped him sit up.
"Sorry about last night, I guess I got carried away." Hutch studied his partner's face as he spoke. Starsky looked vulnerable. Hutch sat on the edge of the bed.
"Great party. I loved the food but it was a pity Huggy couldn't have smuggled in a few girls then when the sprinklers came on we could have had a wet tee shirt contest."
Hutch laughed. "You're incorrigible."
Starsky looked at Hutch. "Your dad came to visit me today."
Hutch turned pale. "Jesus! I don't believe it. He rang me last night and said he'd be in town today. I'm supposed to meet him later then I was going to bring him to see you for a few minutes." Hutch stopped talking as he noticed Starsky's eyes and he moved off the bed and back to the armchair.
"Hutch, you let me win the table tennis. You were going to take me to a good restaurant then back to your place to talk but James Gunther intervened." Starsky sounded desolate.
Hutch took hold of Starsky's right hand where it lay on the blanket. He feels so cold and even his hand feels frail. "Starsky, I don't know what my father told you but I swear I was going to tell you everything. I just wanted to wait until you were out of here."
"It's okay, Hutch. I kind'a understand." Starsky closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them and Hutch could see the hurt shining through the deep blue color.
"I know you haven't been happy for a while and this project on conservation seems just your kind of thing."
Something snapped in side of Hutch. "No! Jesus Christ, Starsky don't talk to me like my old man." Hutch got up from his chair and placed Starsky's hand under the blanket. He walked a few paces away from the bed then turned and came back and sat on the edge of it.
"I was burning out, Starsky. We both knew that, hell Huggy knew it even the perps knew something was wrong. I was losing it all and I kept hitting out at you because you were an easy target. I knew you'd take it from me -- j-just like you did in Huggy's upstairs room but this wasn't a drug. No this was something far worse. I couldn't see that what we did made a difference any more. I tried to get out but you came too and then I tried to destroy what we had by using Kira." Hutch took Starsky's hand out from under the blanket and held it. "But you saw through that and we talked and I really thought everything would be okay but it wasn't. The day before the, before the shooting my dad phoned and offered me a way out." Hutch looked at Starsky and saw the pain lines etched deeply round his eyes and for one moment he wanted it all to have been a bad dream but then he went on. "God help me I thought about it. I thought about us, about you and me and I really believed that you'd be better off without me on the streets." Starsky tried to say something but Hutch shook his head.
"Please, Starsk, I need to tell you this. I thought about the human filth that we are exposed to every day and I thought how good it would be to get some clean air into my lungs but I still hadn't made up my mind. I wanted to tell you how burnt out I was feeling and I was going to suggest that both of us would take some time off." Hutch swallowed the bile that was creeping up his throat. "I went on automatic after you, after the shooting and suddenly all the crap I had been carrying disappeared. The day you woke up was the happiest day of my life and getting Gunther was an anticlimax. He was an evil bastard and I realized the day that I arrested him that that is what we do. We put evil bastards away, Partner and we're good at it."
"Gee, Hutch you think a sick man could get a word in here?"
"Hutch I know things haven't been right between us for a while and the thing with Kira was just a manifestation of that but I don't give a damn about her or anything else. The way you unraveled the Gunther trail was police work at its best and although I was pretty zonked while you were doing it Cap and Huggy filled me in pretty good when you went to make the arrest." Starsky stopped talking and Hutch handed him a glass of water. Starsky took a sip and Hutch took the glass from his hand and replaced it on the locker. "Thanks. Your dad filled me in on the new job offer and it sounds good. You have made a difference here Hutch but now I think it might be time for you to move on. You could make a difference in the wild too. All that conservation stuff would be right up your street. You are so much a part of me that no matter what we do we will always share a bond." Starsky closed his eyes and a small tear slid out and rolled down his face. "Christ! Those pain pills really make a guy emotional." Starsky jerked his hand away from Hutch and wiped his eyes. "Look I think you should go and have a look at this wilderness project and take some time to make up your mind on it. I'll be here when you get back, okay?"
"No. It's not okay. I don't need to go anywhere. I know the value of what I have here. You just don't get it? I nearly lost you and suddenly I got things into perspective. I'm good at this. Hell we're the best damn detectives I've seen and I want to do this, Starsky."
"Hutch, look at me. Just take a good look. I'm alive but I may never be the same person again. I won't come back unless I am one hundred percent. Lately I have been thinking about us, well there's not much else to do, but now I don't have to worry about you. You have a way out and it's something that you'll be good at and..."
"And what, Starsky? I've finally faced my demons and found what I want to do. Sometimes the things you want are right in front of your face."
"I don't want you throwing away this opportunity because of me. We're equal partners, we always have been and I can't go on any other way."
"I wouldn't want it any other way but you and I need to put our experience to good use. We could see about heading up a task force and if my father wants to be seen as a philanthropist he could set up a foundation to help kids with drug problems. Don't you see? I'm a weekend kind of nature lover. I like the difference we make, Starsky and I want to continue to do it."
Starsky studied his partner. Hutch looked tired but there was a light in his eyes that had been missing for some time.
"What the hell will Thomas say about 'The Hutchinson Nature Reserve Project'?"
"I'd be more curious as to what he's going to say to 'The Starsky And Hutchinson Teen Drug Counselling Project'?"
"He'll never agree."
"He won't have much choice after you turn the famous Starsky charm on for my mom." Hutch laughed. "My dad always does what she wants."
The End