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Ava closed the last file and looked around her office. The open door let the eerie silence fill the room and Ava sighed. Last one in the office, yet again, she thought. Grabbing her jacket and her bag, Ava opened a portal to the Waverider, walking into the kitchen. Zari and Ray sat at the table, not even phased when Ava walked in.
“Hey, guys,” Ava sat her stuff down and joined the three who were eating dinner.
“Hey Ava, can you settle a debate for us?” Zari asked, her eyes not leaving Ray. “Ray here thinks that scones are the best pastry in the world, when clearly, donuts are the supreme choice. Tell him Ava” Zari looked over to Ava, who did not want to get into this.
“All I’m saying is scones are a healthier option than those sugar bagels you eat” Ray sipped something from his cup while giving Zari the side eye. Ava snickered at the wood sugar bagels, she could help but loves the ‘kids’ that weaseled their way into her heart.
“Hey, do you guys know where Sara is?” Ava finally asked. She picked her stuff back up and waited for the response. Both members were quiet, avoiding Ava’s eyes. “Guys?” Worry was written over her face.
“So, during the mission-”
“Sara is fine, before you freak out-”
“Guys! One at a time! Where is Sara?” Ava asked one more time.
“Med-bay”, Both Ray and Zari answered quietly. Ava stalked out of the kitchen and down the hall.
-
Sara rested in the chair with her head back and eyes closed. Gideon patched her up but couldn’t do anything for the headache. The lights were dimmed, and a faint humming could be heard from the room.
“Captain Lance, I might inform you that Director Sharpe is on her way here”
“Thank you, G” Sara said sitting up from the chair. Even that movement caused Sara’s body to hurt in protest. Not a moment later, Ava came into the room.
“Before you say anything, I’m fine… now”, Sara gave her a signature smirk. Ava held Sara’s head in her hands and glanced over her to check and see if there was any damage. “Giedion fixed me and I’m good as new.”
“I can see that, but at one point today,” Ava pointed down to the giant rip covering Sara’s midsection still stained with blood. The cream-colored shirt was majority red from the blood loss. “You weren’t fine” Ava’s voice cracked at the last word. She had almost lost Sara again. Her eyes couldn’t leave the piece of clothing, that is until Sara guided Ava’s face with her fingers to look at her.
“Aves, I’m here”, Sara grabbed Ava’s hand and placed it on her chest, making Ava feel. “And I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon”, she added. Ava let the tears fall, but Sara reached up to wipe the remaining ones away.
“Do you know how often I think about getting that call from your team? That you’re off saving the world and you never come back. Every time we say goodbye, I think that if it’s gonna be the last time, did I do it right? Was it good enough? Was I good enough? I know you’ve died and come back a few times, but you never know when that luck is gonna run out! God, Sara, do you know what would happen if you left?” Ava backed away from the chair and began shaking her head.
“Aves, wait”, Sara called out, slowly moving off the chair.
“I just need some air-”, Ava barely whispered, leaving her stuff and running out of the room. Sara closed her eyes and sighed leaning against the medical chair.
“That probably could have gone better”, Gideon called out.
“Not now, Gideon”
Sara pushed herself off the chair and moved to pick up Ava’s bags. She decided to see where the taller blonde walked off, by first checking her room. While walking in the hall to her room, Sara ran into Charlie.
“Did you see where Ava went?”
“Blimey, you two need trackers on one another” Charlie remarked. Sara rolled her eyes, she wasn’t expecting much help from the doppelganger of her friend. “What did you do this time?” Charlie smirked, and Sara stalked past her. She didn’t have time for childish games.
-
The door to Sara’s room opened and Ava walked in before letting the tears fall. Why was she so upset about this in the first place? Sara had been hurt before on missions, some worse than this. Why blow up now?
It may have something to do with an overheard clone comment. She thought she was over this. She thought she had gotten better. Sara had been the one to help her get through it all, right by her side though the discovery of everything. It made sense now why she was so mad.
If she died, Sara could go to 2213 and get another version of herself, even put her memories in a new body, a new hardware if you will. But if Sara died, that was it. She had run out of chances and who knows, if the next time if gonna be the one that sticks.
That thought only made Ava cry harder. The sobs were wracking her body, barely making to the bed that was haphazardly made that morning. A moment passed and then another, Ava took a deep breath, sitting on the edge of the bed. She was so lost in thought that she didn’t even hear the doors to Sara’s room open.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Sara shuffled over to sit next to Ava, leaving a small space between them. Ava didn’t respond, but just kept fiddling with her shirt sleeve. “I know it looks worse than it actually was, but Ava-”, Sara stopped talking when Ava moved from the bed to stand in front of Sara. “Aves?”
“Sara, when you died the last time, what went through your mind before- you know-” Ava glanced over but couldn’t meet Sara’s eyes. She had changed into a t-shirt that Gideon had probably fabricated before coming to find her. Sara shifted on the bed, finding an answer.
“I thought about my sister, and seeing her again, and then my dad, and my team, they’d all be alright after I was gone. I’ve gotten one too many chances at life and maybe this was it. But if it wasn’t then I would keep fighting. What brought this up? This wasn’t even life threatening, talk to me”, Sara stood, entering in Ava’s personal space. Ava tried to move, but Sara grabbed her hands keeping her in place.
“I- I just kept having these thoughts about if one of us dies, what the other would do” Ava said, but Sara could barely hear her. “I mean I know what you would do if I died, but what about-” Ava was cut off by Sara’s expression.
“What do you mean you know what I’d do?”
Ava shrugged, “You’re just get another me”.
“Get another you?! Ava, where is all this coming from?!”
“It’s what the Bureau is going to do, at least that’s the board’s plan” Ava said as if it was a normal statement, she wasn’t even phased.
“Ava, what is going on?” Sara reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.
“But what about if when you die, that’s it? No more reset button. Sara, you’re my entire world, you know what I was like before. I was awful, so obsessed with my work. It was you that changed me, I don’t wanna be that person again. What happens to me when you’re gone? I don’t think I would even want-” Sara stepped up on her tiptoes to kiss Ava. Ava closed her eyes and tears fell against her will. Sara led Ava to the bed once, and the two sat down.
“Ava, I love you. I need you to know that. I also need you to know that if something were to happen to you, I wouldn’t just jump off to the future ang get another you. There is only one you for me and I’m gonna try my damnest to not let anything happen to you. And if… if something does happen to me, I want you to keep living. I want you to be happy and it’s not gonna be easy at first, but the team will help. You’re not gonna lose them, they are your family now too, whether you like it or not” Sara paused when a tear fell from her face. It was Ava’s turn to wipe it away. “But those days are far, far away. Right now, in this moment, we just have to live our lives. We can’t worry about tomorrow, when we can only control today.”
Ava takes in Sara’s words, staying silent. So much was running through Ava’s mind, she didn’t realize many moments had passed.
“Aves?”
“Promise me”.
Sara glanced around, unsure of what to say.
“Ava, I can’t promise that” Sara whispered.
“Sara, promise me that we control today and that we are far away from the moment where we become I.” Ava looks down at her hands, unsure of what Sara would say. Sara was quiet for what felt like a lifetime for Ava.
“Okay, I promise” Sara’s hand guided Ava to look her in the eyes. “I promise”, she said barely audible. Ava nodded, resting her forehead against Sara’s, bring her hand to rest on Sara’s cheek. That was enough for now.