Chapter Text
The clothes on my back
are faded and old
they remind me,
painstakingly,
of myself.
-
Castiel’s breath is heavy in his mouth. He can feel it leaving his lungs, traveling through his esophagus and tripping over his tongue and teeth like a real thing. Like a snake made of air and smoke. He leans his head against the scratched and chipped mirror in the bathroom and can feel, not hear, the vibrations of the music coming from him and his brother’s room next door. He turns toward the doorway, were Gabe is leaning heavily on the frame. “Dude,” Cas slurs “I think,” he pauses, thinks over his words carefully. “There was something in that shit.”
Gabriel snorts loudly. He leans away from the door toward Cas, as if about to tell an important secret, Cas leans in, too. “Baby bro,” he stares at him solemnly before cackling and pushing a bottle into Cas’ hands. “I think you are completely correct.” He shouts over the music that Cas can now hear very well.
Cas takes a long pull of the amber liquid feeling the burn run down his throat, mingling with the air snakes that lived there now, before laughing loudly with his brother. Both of them doubling over, howling at their own ridiculousness.
A long awaited shout from down the hall sobers them for a moment. “Can you turn that goddamn music down?” The scream silences them. They pause before snickering into their palms and pulling and pushing each other into back into their room shutting the door and continuing the night’s debauchery behind it. They never turned down the music.
-
The sunlight that streams through the broken and dented vertical blinds is too much for Cas’ addled brain. An incoherent groan escapes his mouth, at the sight of dust motes floating through air, before his brain processes the incorrectness of the sun in his and Gabe’s room. “Gabe,” he grumbles his voice still heavy with sleep “where’s the blanket? The one on the window?” He waits; no reply. “Gabe?” He says, louder this time.
He’s met with an “Ugh.” from the bunk beds on the other side of the room. Cas’ brain begins to process again. He’s lying on the floor underneath the only window in their room. He peers through narrowed eyelids. From this vantage point he cans see the plains of his floor. It was crummy, covered in small debris from food and other bits and pieces (they never vacuumed it), clothes (dirty and clean alike), books, trash bags, game controllers and wires. It was gross. He thinks this all over before receiving an answer from the lump of pillows and blankets on the top bunk. “You pulled it off last night.” It murmurs. “You’re sleeping on top of it.”
Cas remembers it now.
“Why in the fuck” Cas had yelled, throwing something, his alarm clock maybe, at the door of their room where it hit and landed with a satisfying crack and a thunk. “Is this fucking trailer so cold all the goddamn time?” Gabe had howled with laughter and Cas grew angrier. Turning sharply away from the door and clutching the makeshift curtain, pulling it down and falling with it, rolling himself into it on the floor, where he’d stayed.
Cas looks down to the blanket, camouflage with man-made and moth-made holes littering it. “What time is?” He says clearer now that he’s given his brain time to wake up, watching his breath make puffs in the early morning, October air. A moment passes. “What day is it?”
A hands snakes out of the blankets and reaches for the phone that is balanced, precariously on the bed post. “Six forty-three, Monday the sixth in October, this the year of our Lord two-thous-”
“I get it,” Cas cuts him off “you don’t have to be such an assbutt.”
This earned a chuckle from Gabe. “That’s not even a real insult, baby bro.” He says, with no malice in his voice. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready for school?”
Cas groans at that and pushes himself up onto his elbows and looked down at his body. He’s still fully dressed from yesterday in a pair of jeans, faded and ripped, and a t-shirt, with a bar’s logo plastered on it. He scans the room for a pair of shoes and grabs the pair, conveniently located next to where his head had been, pulling them on and realizing they’re Gabe’s, but going with it anyway. They share most the clothes in the room, Cas knows he won’t care.
Cas unsteadily pushes himself to his feet and braces himself on the desk. There was no chair at the desk, it had been lost to the woodstove some years ago, on it was a small TV flanked by two game consoles, it was the only piece of the room that anyone would consider clean but, it was still dusty and kind of crummy. Cas swiped a hand over the top of the TV and it came away grey. He stared at his hand and it slowly dawned on him that he was still slightly inebriated. He turned to his brother, now stretching on the bed, his hairy legs pushed out from beneath the covers. “Gabe, what was in that in that shit we smoked last night?” Cas said letting his eyes wander back to his hand still covered in dust, he made no move to wipe it off. For a second he entertained the thought of walking around the halls of his high school with a hand covered in dust.
Gabe pushes himself up on to arms letting the blankets fall away from his chest, hazel eyes shining in the morning sun. “I don’t know man, Kali gave it to me. But, you know my girl,” a sweet, hazy smile graces his face “she always takes care of us. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was, at least, a little fucked for the rest of the day.”
Cas finally, pushing himself off the safety of the desk and, let his head swim and his body walk toward the door, grabbing a hoodie and his backpack off of his bed and pulling them on as he left. Muttering a warning to Gabe to be careful getting off of the bed, he walked out into the small cramped hallway only to be assaulted by a pair of hands roughly shoving him against the wall, letting his head bounce sharply off the plywood that covered it.
“What the fucking hell is wrong with you?” Michael pulled him away from the wall and slammed him against again, harder this time, his head bouncing sharper on to the wall. He lifts him up off of the dingy gray carpeting by the collar of his hoodie. “You two fuck-ups were up until three o’ clock in the morning.” Cas stares down at his older brother’s yellow construction boots, old but neat and not dirty at all. The laces are new, he dimly notes. His douchebag brother seethes, and Cas realizes he might actually want an answer. He looks away from the boots and up to Michael’s furious blue eyes.
Cas tries for nonchalance “Mike, we weren’t doing anything. Chill.” It comes out horribly not nonchalant and at that Michael pulls him away from the wall and slams him a third time, even harder. Cas can hear something fall over in his room on the other side the wall along with a muffled ‘What the fuck?’ from Gabe. A second later Gabe burst out of their room.
“Michael, what the fuck are you doing?” Gabe yells and pushes him away from Cas, standing in between them in the narrow hallway. The air is thick as they hold eye contact, unwavering.
Michael breaks the silence first. “You two are fucking idiots.” Gabe opens his mouth to retaliate but is shut down by Michael. “How can you even think straight at that dead-end job of yours with all shit you smoke and drink and whatever into your body?” He punctuated his words with a jab of his pointer finger to Gabe’s temple. Gabe turned his head away slightly, his mouth now a thin line. Michael returns his attention to Cas, his eyes are as cold as ice. “And you, why don’t you just save yourself the time and drop out now, like this fuck head.” He pushes the two boys away from him and stalks down the hallway to the living room.
“Gabriel,” Cas starts quietly. “I’m-”
Gabe cuts him off. “No, it’s not your fault that-” He pauses swallowing heavily, pointing down the hallway. “That he thinks he’s better than me because he finished high school.” He spits the last few words as he storms back into their room, slamming the door.
Cas breaths slowly, unevenly, and drops his chin down to his chest, closing his eyes against the memory of Michael’s cold blue eyes juxtaposed painfully next to every memory of every time a stranger, aunt or, friend of their parents that had gushed at just how much they looked alike. The same blue eyes and dark almost black hair of their father pushed on to the same gangly pale bodies like their mother, as children they were almost the same person. But, that was before Mom and Luc and Anna. It was before Cas’ whole family went to shit. He pushes the heels of his hands into his eyes chasing away sleep and the tears that threaten to spill. ‘Well, there goes that high.’ He thinks once he gets them under control. He goes to the fourth and final room in the hallway before the trailer opens into the living room/kitchen, and knocks gently. “Anna?” he asks quietly.
“Come in, Castiel.” The clearly annoyed girl sounds from behind the door. Cas pushes the door open into the, hands-down cleanest room in the trailer. ‘She actually cleans up in here.’ Cas thinks to himself. Anna currently sits at the vanity brushing out her long, bright red hair.
Cas stands in the doorway admiring her for a second, so neat and quiet, so unlike her older brothers. “I’m sorry about that.” He gestures over his shoulder to the hallway.
She stops brushing and turns around in the chair. “And?” She asks expectantly, arms crossed and eyebrows shooting up.
“And about last night. Gabriel and I got pretty carried away.” He sighs. “I just, uh, I-”
“I get it,” Anna chides. “You don’t have to explain yourself that much. Just try and keep the music down next time you blast off into oblivion.” She rises and grabs her bag off her bed. “Come on, we need to catch the bus.” She brushes past him toward the front door.
“Did you eat?” Cas calls, walking after her.
“Yeah, before you woke up.” She calls over her shoulder as she hops down the step and toward the road. Cas trails behind her down the street for a minute or so, they’re almost at the corner of the street and this is where Anna isn’t Cas’ thirteen year-old little sister anymore. She stops at the sign that says ‘BUS STOP’ and she transforms. Cas catches up to her at the corner and she says nothing, putting her ear buds in and cranking up the volume on her iPod. She was blessed to be the only person in the Novak household with the name ‘Milton’. Her eyes slide over Cas as if he isn’t there and stares down the road waiting for the bus. Every day, since Anna turned ten and realized that the name Novak was a household name in this town, in the worst kind of way, she pretended that she wasn’t the boy’s sister, well, half-sister, and told everyone the according lies to keep herself safe.
Cas follows her gaze down the road and watches as the yellow school bus trundles around the bend in the road toward the two. When it groans to a stop in front of them and the door creaks open Anna gets on immediately but, Cas hesitates looking down the road before placing a foot on the first step but moving no further.
“Hey, kid, what the hell are you doing?” The bus driver, who has never actually spoken two words to anyone on the bus, grunts out.
Cas turns away from the road and faces the driver. “There are two other kids who get on the bus at this stop. They’re not here.”
“I don’t care.” The driver groans. “Maybe they got a ride. Drop it, kid.” A pause and Cas turns his head back to the road. “Look, are you on or are you off? Make up your mind!” The bus is quiet.
“No,” Cas says and points down the road “here they come.” The driver groans and Cas doesn’t move from his spot halfway on the bus until the two boys who’d been sprinting down the road toward the bus are a few steps away.
“Thanks, Cas!” Alfie, the taller of the two boys, squeaked out.
Cas pulled himself onto the bus under the glare of the bus driver and most of the other kids on it. Cas knew what he looked like; messy hair sticking up and sometimes falling into his face, more often than not, bloodshot and tired eyes, clothes baggy or worn through in some places and to round it all off a strange stiff posture. So, while it was not confusing why kids threw their bags in the seat next to them or stretched out their legs so he wouldn’t sit near him when he got on, not that he would want to, it was infinitely perplexing why these two boys had taken such a shining to him. Ever since the day they were born and Cas had been old enough to babysit them they had stuck to him like glue. He was there source of all knowledge until they started school and even then they’d always come back to Castiel for conformation.
Cas has tried his best to answer all their questions, and they hadn’t stopped since. The boys, Alfred and Samandriel, lived on the other side of the park with their mother and older brother Matt, who despite going to the same school as Cas, had been never seen. For twenty minutes every morning Cas is jostled by the bus going along the road getting bombarded by some of the strangest things these two things could think of. Some days Cas really believes they take everything he says as the gospel truth. Another day, another game of one million questions.
The boys, Anna and a little over half the bus get off to file into the gray brick building know as Fitchburg Middle School and Cas takes the rest of the fifteen minute ride in silence. On some days he misses the incessant chatter of the twins, on days like today, when his headache will make at least the first three periods of class impossible, he welcomes the older kid’s stony silences.
-
The bus finally pulls to a stop in front of the squat, red brick buildings, right next to the student parking lot, ten minutes before the first bell. Cas works his way through the crowded noisy hallways of Fitchburg High School and does his best to avoid, well, just about everyone. Keeping his head down and charging through the surging masses to get to his locker before the first bell was always Castiel’s preferred method.
“Cas! Cas, hold up!” Castiel turned to see the dark brown head of Meg Masters bobbing through the crowd with the tall blond figure of Balthazar striding behind her. Cas stood in the middle of flow of students to wait for them. When they finally catch up to him crowds up against him, pushing him further down the hall. “You look like hell.”
“Good morning to you too, Meg. My weekend was fine, yours?” Cas replies sarcastically.
Balthazar snorts from behind them. “It doesn’t look like you had a ‘fine weekend’, Cassie. It looks the weekend smashed you upside the head.”
“It kind of did.” Cas muttered as they reached his locker and he began to twist the lock open. Balthazar leaned against the locker next to Cas’ as Meg opened her own on the opposite side.
“Was Michael being an ass, again?” Balthazar asked as Cas began shoving and pushing around books and gym clothes in his locker.
Cas shrugged. “He was justified. Gabe and I were fucking around and being loud. You know the usual.”
“Cas.” Meg warned from the other locker sticking her head out. Balthazar and Castiel sighed, both knowing the usual speech that was about to come out of Meg. “No one is justified when-”
“Did you eat anything this morning?” Balthazar cut in and Cas turned his full attention to him.
“No, Balth. I did not.” Cas said simply, throwing an apologetic smile at Meg. She huffed from next them but let it go, knowing the moment to whip out her ‘no one should be allowed to hurt you’ speech will inevitably come up in the future. Balthazar dug in to his shoulder bag and produced a handful of green and white wrapped bars.
“My mother sent me a package from home and it was filled with these god-awful Trek bars. I hate them but, you might not.” He shoved them into Cas’ hands and zipped up his bag.
Cas looked down at them. “Oat Raisin and Peanut & Oat.” He read. “Why does your mom send them even if you don’t like them?” Cas asked before ripping open the Oat Raisin and biting into it. It wasn’t that bad, as far as energy bars go.
The first warning bell and the boys said goodbye to Meg as she slipped away to her first period and they walked in the opposite direction. “She thinks I’m not getting enough nutrition eating this dreadful American food that is, in her mind, being forced down my throat. So, every month or so she sends a box full of bars and other shit.” Balth shrugged it off. Cas was just finishing the first bar when they pushed open the door to their first period of the day, pre-calc. “Mrs. Mills.” Balth mocked saluted their teacher as they slid into their seats being one of the few students who got to the class before the final bell rang.
“Boys.” She nodded at them before picking up her clipboard and walking to their desks in the middle of the room. “Do either of you have your homework.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Balthazar said promptly, pulling out his folder and presenting the equations with an unneeded flourish. Cas slumped down into his bag and pulled out his notebook and let it fall open to the right page.
Mrs. Mills put Balthazar’s page back down in front of him. “You got number seven and thirteen wrong.” She said as she marked down a check next to Balthazar’s name and moved over to Cas’ desk. “Don’t worry though; I didn’t really expect anyone to get thirteen…” She trailed off looking at Cas’ paper. “Huh, color me impressed Castiel.”
“Why?” Cas pulled himself out the slouch he was in and looked up at her.
“You got them all right, even number thirteen.” She smiled down at him. “Very good.” She marked him down on her clipboard and moved on as more and more students began to fill the desks around Cas and Balth.
“Very good, Cassie.” Balthazar mocked, leaning in close so as not be heard by the teacher. Cas just smiled, a small smile, down at his paper.
-
By the time pre-calc had ended Cas’ headache and high had ebbed some of the ways away and Cas realized he might be able to make it through the day. Gabriel however, he mused, might not be able to. He’d taken in a lot more than Cas. The rest of day passed in a slow, boring blur, it seemed to take forever before Cas was settling down in lunch next to Meg and Uriel. Meg and Uriel never saw eye to eye and Cas imagined if it weren’t for him being a buffer for them, they would have ripped each other’s throats out by now. But, it was fine and they had formed an unstable truce as a result of it.
They were already talking by the time he sat down. “Well, I mean it’s a little weird.” Uriel said before taking a bite of his burger and chewing a moment before speaking again. “The guy’s only been here, what, a month? And he’s already on first string. Also, he’s only a sophomore, isn’t that illegal or something?”
Meg shrugged. “As legal as you can get when you’re pitting teenagers against each other in a dangerous over-glorified game of catch that only makes you hate the people who live in your vicinity more.” She nabbed a fry off of Uriel’s tray and grinned as she bit into it, knowing that this act would drive him crazy. Uriel just huffed and pulled his tray closer to himself, shooting a glare at her from across the table.
“Who are we talking about?” Cas asked as he sat down across from Uriel, next to Meg.
“Some new football kid. Apparently he’s stomping all over Uriel’s dreams of following in his brother’s footsteps as king of the douche nozzles.” Meg said, thankfully focused back on her own tray of food.
Uriel drew himself up and glowered at Meg. “He is not.” He said sternly to Meg before relaxing slightly and turning to Cas. “I just swear, he’s on something. I just don’t know what it is.” Castiel smiled down at his own tray if only to hide the laughter behind his eyes. “Seriously, Cas, he’s the same height as you and like, more cut.” Uriel threw up his hands in exasperation.
Castiel looked back up to his friend. “If the coach wants him on the team then who are you to question it?” he said calmly his voice not betraying his amusement but Meg snorted a little and a smile twitched at the edge of his lips. “I mean by all means, go ahead but, just be ready when the hammer comes down on you.”
He held his eyes for a moment. “Fine,” Uriel gave up. “Can we talk about something else, now?” After that lunch passed with minimal conversation, Uriel still distracted and Meg not in the mood to tease him with such a short fuse.
The next two classes passed without incident and Cas thought today he’d be able slip out of Monday easily. But, that was remedied at the beginning of ninth period, Honors English. He walked in right before the bell rang and slumped down into his seat as Mr. Shurley began handing out last week’s papers on Beowulf. Mr. Shurley was easily Cas’ favorite teacher, with Mrs. Mills coming in at a close second only because Cas was a better writer than he was a mathematician. When he got to Cas’ desk she slipped his paper and right next to the red, circled A- was a yellow post it note. ‘Please see me after class!’ A stone sunk to the bottom of his stomach.
Class passed in a distracted haze, Cas sat at his desk constantly picking at the post-it note he’d pulled off his paper and stuck to the desk, his eyes never straying far from the yellow paper and the red letters. An A- wasn’t, by far, the worst grade he’d ever received in this class and it also wasn’t the best. Castiel spent most of the class mulling over everything he’d done in the class and wondering which one was grounds enough to get in trouble with Mr. Shurley. Finally, the final bell rang and everyone rushed to pack up and get on with their afternoons. Cas pushed his books into his bag and as the last few people were leaving, he was just getting up to her desk.
“Castiel, you’re still here, very good.” The words turned in his stomach, the exact opposite reaction of this morning. Mr. Shurley finally looked up from marking the last paper on his desk to see Cas’ stricken face. “Oh!” He gasped. “Cas, it’s nothing bad. You’re not in trouble at all.” The tension slipped from Cas’ shoulders and he smiled wide. “No, it’s about another student, a new one.” Mr. Shurley stood up and walked around to Cas on the other side of the desk, he only came up to his shoulder. “In the tenth grade English class I teach we just started our poetry unit and well, he’s struggling with it. I remembered today how well you did with that last year and since you have the highest grade in this class I was wondering if you could possibly tutor him a bit.” Cas had a moment of indecision before looking at Mr. Shurley’s face. It was worried and he was fidgeting with his hands as he stared up to Cas’ face.
Cas opened his mouth to turn down Mr. Shurley, to ‘No, I’m sorry Mr. Shurley.’ ‘I really can’t help.’ ‘I wouldn’t know how to tutor someone about poetry in the first place.’ Any amount of excuses that would get Cas away from this responsibility, when his phone began to buzz in his pocket. He pulled it out. “I’m sorry Mr. Shurley, it’s my brother. One second, please.”
“Yes, of course.”
Cas picked up. “Where are you? All the buses are gone and if I wait any longer I’ll be late to work.” Gabe hissed through the receiver.
“I’m sorry, Gabe.” Cas says earnestly. “Just give me one second; I’m talking to my teacher. It’ll be really quick, I’m sorry.”
“Fine, just hurry, seriously.” Gabe said hurriedly, hanging up.
Cas turned around to Mr. Shurley He thought of all of the things he wanted to say earlier but what came out was “Can I get back to you tomorrow?” Cas internally winced.
“That’s fine, Cas.” Mr. Shurley said sitting back down at his desk. “I can have him meet you, tomorrow after school. That way you can see if he’s someone you can work with?” He looked hopeful.
Cas slumped a little. “That would be fine, Mr. Shurley I’ll see you then.” He said as he walked out the door not really hearing his return pleasantry. Cas ran out the doors and down the wide steps to the front curb where his brother’s beat up car sat idling. “Gabe,” he panted slightly as he pulled open the front door and slid into the seat, shoving his bag down with his feet. “I’m really sorry. My teacher needed to talk to me.”
“Whatever.” Gabe grunted, pulling away from the curb and onto the street. “What happened, you in trouble, or something?” Gabe was already dressed for work in a light blue pair of scrubs and white sneakers. When Gabe had turned sixteen and dropped out of school and then gotten his GED he’d started taking these training courses to be an LNA, and started working at a ‘Rest Home’ on the other side of town. Castiel didn’t exactly understand the entire job that Gabe did but he did know that it made him more money than when he’d worked at McDonald’s.
Cas sighed. “No, my teacher wants me to tutor this new student who doesn’t get poetry, or something.”
Gabriel huffed after a moment of silence. “Is he going to pay you?”
“I don’t know, I’ve never met him. And probably not.” Cas shrugged wondering what Gabe was getting at.
“Then don’t do it. It’ll only distract you from your new job.” Cas shot him a questioning look. “Open the glove compartment.” He clicked it open, inside, on top the title and packet of insurance information, were three pieces of paper stapled together with boxes and long paragraphs of information and more boxes and blank spots to fill in. At the very top it said “Fitchburg Rest Home”. “It’s an application.” Gabe said as way of explanation and after a beat of silence continued on. “They’ve been having a hard time filling all the shifts in the kitchen and they need someone to pick up their four to seven shifts. It’s not particularly mentally taxing work and, the money’s not too bad.” Gabe shrugged. “Think about it.”
Cas leaned his head against the window and stared out at the passing trees and houses. “I’ll think about it.” Cas said. They passed the rest of the ride in relative silence, only broken when Gabe turned on the radio to some pop station, letting it cover the silence between them. At the end of their street Gabe rolled to a stop. “Kay, little bro, this is the end of the line.” Cas moved to get out of the car and walk down the road to their house. “Hey,” Gabe called as just as Cas stood up straight outside of the car door. “I’m working a double shift, so I won’t be back until tomorrow morning.”
Cas shrugged. “Okay, see you then.” He reached out to close the door when Gabe stopped him again.
“If I get back early enough do you want me to drive you to school?”
“No, I’d rather you get some sleep.” Cas pushed the door shut.
Gabe rolled down the window. “Okay, just think about the job.” Cas nodded and waved to his brother before he drove off.
Cas didn’t think about it. He entered the trailer and called to his sister behind her closed door. “Wake me up when you want dinner. Okay?” and heard something like affirmation from the other side of it. He slouched into his room and flopped down on the bottom bunk trying to will his eyes shut and his brain off. After twenty minutes of calm contemplation of the underside of his brother’s bunk something in Cas popped and he shot straight up into a sitting position. Cas shut his eyes tight now trying to stave off the sudden burst of shaky, nervous energy that filled his body now. Unable to do so they snapped open and scanning the room, he saw that the blanket from the window that he’d been wrapped up in that morning was still on the ground. He pushed himself across the room suddenly and made an attempt to get it to hang off the pegs on the window like it had been before. When he finally got it up the room was a little darker than before and Cas took a few deep breaths. In through your nose out through your mouth, just like Gabe told you. Cas felt calm now not lethargic like he’d thought he was leading up to the burst of energy but calm. He settled down on his bed and pulled out his book for Honors English and tried to lose himself in the story but, it proved difficult.
After what felt like hours of reading the same page over and over again there was a soft knock on his door. “Cas?”
Cas grunted in response, apparently the word ‘Galahad’ was now too interesting to tear his eyes off of or form coherent thought outside of it. The door creaked open and that peaked Cas’ interest enough to start turning his head finally tearing his eyes away from the book to see Anna’s head peaking around the corner into his room. “Did you want dinner?” Cas asked not bothering to check the time and see that it was only a little after four and far too early to eat.
“No,” Anna said almost apologetically, “A friend invited me over to her house to work on a project and stay for dinner. Is that cool?”
Castiel stared a beat too long before breaking out of his reverie. “Of course it’s fine. You never have to ask.” Cas mumbled turning back to his book fully expecting her to leave right away. When she didn’t, Cas turned back to her. “Did you need a ride or someone to walk you there?” He asked, lost as to why she’d hung around him even this long.
She stood up straighter in the door frame. “No, I don’t need a ride,” She huffed. “I just wanted to make sure you knew so you wouldn’t wait for me to make something to eat.” She stared at him.
“I’m actually just going to turn in now.” Cas said throwing the book in the general direction of his bag and toeing off his shoes.
“Cas,” Anna began before trailing off and letting her brother settle in under his covers. “Sleep well, then.” Anna murmured before turning around and shutting the door leaving Cas in the almost darkness of his room.
He sighed and as he got settled letting the bone hurt of exhaustion settle with him. He’d felt it ever since he woke up this morning and he knew he’d feel it when he woke up, and every time he woke up, no matter how long he slept. His eyes slipped shut and he laid there not moving mimicking sleep for hours before it came. Even then his body woke him at every chance it got, a bird singing outside, Mike returning home from his construction job and making himself dinner in the kitchen, the settling of the trailer on it’s foundation, Anna finally returning home a little after dark, the house phone ringing, all sorts of night sounds and finally Gabe returning home as the sun pushed up over the horizon.
“You up?” he whispered as he crept into the room.
“Of course I’m up.” Cas said sitting up and eyeing his brother in the small amounts of light that were filtering through the windows.
“I drank like five cups of coffee so I wouldn’t crash and burn by the end of my shift. If you want I can make you some breakfast and then drive you to school. Sound good?” Gabe rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet.
Cas yawned into his hand. “Sounds good, just let me take a shower first.”
-
A quick, luke-warm shower later Cas was sitting down at the tiny table in their kitchen with a small pile of toast and jam in front of him. Crunching toast and the sound of hot, weak, black coffee being sipped was the only sound as the two brothers watched the sun rise.
Gabe cleared his throat. “You ready for Tuesday?”
Cas nodded solemnly not looking away from the pink morning sky.