Chapter Text
There were two bodies on the floor, no signs of gunshots and no blood, just two of his men lying flat in the hallway of his safe house. Professor Crane let out a sigh of disappointment, he could swear he had left the hideout only for ten minutes and these incompetent fools couldn't even keep his lab protected. He passed around the men on the floor, not bothering to give them any more attention. From what he had already gathered, they had been knocked out – blunt object to the head. He reached into the pocket of his trench coat, good thing he never left without a dose of his precious toxin.
He walked down the stairs, right to the basement, the light was on like nothing had ever happened. The doors were shut, he stopped and listened in. If Batman had found this place, it was better to not go in there. However, if that had been one of Falcone's thugs, then the evening should still be fun – for Scarecrow.
He listened in but in there it was quiet, only some soft, muffled sounds like...sobbing?
Both curious and suspicious, Professor Crane pushed the door open. There was a mallet lying on the floor, forgotten, and there was a familiar figure curled in his armchair. Crying.
“Harleen?”
Doctor Quinzel raised her blonde head and turned around to look at him. Her makeup was flaking, tears falling from her eyes like waterfalls. The clown-costume she was wearing didn't look complete.
“Professor Crane,” she uttered, her voice weak and trembling. “So-orry for the intrusion. I just...” She didn't finish as the uncontrolled sobbing shook her whole body.
“It's OK, my child,” Crane attempted to calm her down, taken by surprise with that whole, new situation. “I'm not very busy right now. And don't worry about those goons you knocked out, I'm not angry about it.”
“Thankyouuu...” Harleen wailed and covered her face in her hands. “I had nowhere to gooo... Red's in Arkham... And Mr. J... He... He...”
“He kicked you out?”
“Woooorse!” She lamented loudly, throwing her arms in the air. “He replaced me with a stupid robot!”
The absurdity of that statement didn't change the fact that the girl was honestly heartbroken. Under any other circumstances, Scarecrow would gladly prey on this sweet fear of abandonment but this was Harleen – the only person in this god-damned city who had always treated him with nothing but kindness and respect, politeness and understanding – he was feeling obligated to repay her with the same.
“Come now, child,” He walked to her to pat her pretty head. “How can you think that some... machine could ever replace you?”
“He put it in my costume!!!” She clutched on his coat with sheer desperation. “And he said, it doesn't talk so much so it's better than the original!”
With a sorrowful cry, Harley threw her arms around him and hugged him with rib-crushing strength. Jonathan let out an 'oof' but did not protest.
“Oh, Professor!” She continued, face buried in his sweater. “What should I dooo!”
He could now smell alcohol from her. What had she been doing before he got here? Not breaking any laws, he hoped, and luring Batman right into his hideout.
“You should stay here until morning,” he advised her, the house had a guest room and Jonathan had planned on working in the basement the whole night anyway. “And tomorrow... Well, we could visit the Joker...”
Harleen stopped sobbing and looked him in the eyes.
“You don't mean to...”
“Oh, no-no,” He smirked. “I highly doubt my toxin would even have any effect on him. But while we talk, you sneak in and then something might just accidentally happen to that robot... Something like, I don't know, a mallet to its head?”
“Oooh...” The smile slowly returning to her pretty face was worth the doubtful pleasure of talking to the Joker in the near future. “Oh, I get it... Thank you, Professor!” She hugged him again.
He awkwardly hugged back, patting her back in a friendly manner.
“By the way, where did the Joker even get that robot from?” As soon as he asked, the answer already came to him. It was pretty obvious. “You know what, nevermind...”
The next time he saw him, he'd have a word with Edward about building robots for someone else's boyfriends.