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The generator cuts out just after nine PM on day sixty-three, plunging the cabin into darkness. Leonard swears and reaches for one of the torches, snapping it on at the same time as one of the others switches on the Green Lantern lantern, washing the cabin in an eerie green glow. He tries very hard not to think of fluid-sucking bugs and reminds himself they’re nowhere near Washington State.
Hell, they’re nowhere near anywhere.
It’s easy enough to refuel the generator; he’s done it a dozen times (Sheldon won’t), and he’s just kicking himself for apparently forgetting to refill the backup fuel tank that the genny’s meant to switch over to if the main one runs out. He struggles into his thickest parka and snowpants and gloves and puts on his snow goggles, waving off Raj’s offer to go out instead of him. It’ll be a quick, if chilly, fix.
The problem arises when they try to open the door and it cracks open an inch and then won’t budge any further. Snow comes whirling in on the wind and Sheldon yelps and yanks the door closed again, giving Leonard a wild-eyed look.
“It’s a blizzard!” he practically yells, and it’s only then that Leonard realizes that they’ve all been getting progressively louder for the last hour or so as the wind picked up outside.
“Satellite weather says it should pass by -- oh, shoot!” says Howard, employing the time-honored method of percussive maintenance by slapping the side of his laptop.
“What?”
“Damn battery ran out.”
“Why isn’t the generator switching to the backup fuel tank? It’s not empty is it?” Raj asks. “And dude, if you hadn’t tried to make Sheldon suicidal by looping that stupid badger song for an hour, your battery would be working.”
“I’m sure the backup tank’s full. Maybe it’s just taking a minute to kick in,” Leonard says.
“Come on, Raj, who doesn’t like ‘Badger, badger, badger’?” Howard bounces up and down miming the dance from the viral video.
“I’m going to go with a) anyone who’s in this room who isn’t you and b) anyone in the world who has a functioning brain.”
“I don’t think the backup fuel is working,” Sheldon says, beginning to methodically switch off his computer and all its numerous peripherals. “I’m sure I needn’t remind you all that surge protectors do not absolutely guarantee that our equipment won’t all overload when and if the power comes back on.”
Sheldonese to English: Turn all your crap off so it doesn’t blow up.
“What do you mean if the power comes back on?” Leonard asks in as level a tone as he can manage, dragging his gloves back off and switching his entire powerboard off rather than going through item by item. He unplugs it from the wall socket just for good measure.
“Well, we don’t know how long this blizzard will last. It could be days. And of course the backup generator is also outside.”
“Hang on,” Howard says before Leonard can offer any remarks about who decided that the backup generator should go outside in order to make more room inside for a certain box of comic books and a certain Batman cookie jar. “I saw the radar pattern before the battery died. The blizzard’s supposed to pass by morning, about six o’clock.”
“Oh good, just in time for oatmeal!” At least Sheldon’s smiling again. Raj mutters something about oatmeal and Arctic toilets and the incompatibility therewith, but Sheldon either doesn’t hear him or chooses to ignore him.
The four of them move around in the lambent green glow until every electrical appliance is unplugged or switched off at the wall. The cabin is eerily quiet without the constant hum of computers and the background noise of Star Wars or Battlestar Galactica playing on the television.
“Is it getting chilly in here, or is it just me?” Howard asks, teeth chattering.
All four of them realize at once but it’s Leonard who voices it: “Oh God, the heat went out as well.”
“Y-yeah. Can I borrow your Snuggie?”
Leonard strips off his parka instead and tosses it to him before wriggling into the Snuggie himself. He doesn’t bother to say aloud that nobody but him gets to wear his gift from Penny.
“I guess we should just go to bed,” Raj says.
“Unless you want to stay up and play Murder in the Dark,” Howard says, his pointed glance at Sheldon leaving nobody in any doubt as to who he intends to be the victim in the game. If he’s really talking about a game.
“I think b-bed sounds like an excellent idea,” Sheldon says. Leonard looks at him and hopes like hell it’s just the lantern light giving his lips that bluish cast.
The cabin has two tiny bedrooms with two minuscule beds in each; it’s fortunate they hadn’t been bunk beds or the fighting would never have stopped. The four of them each take a quick turn in the bathroom, which is rapidly becoming frigid.
“At least the stuff in the refrigerator won’t go bad,” Howard says.
“Sh-shu-shut up, Wolowitz,” says Sheldon.
Leonard can’t sleep. The Snuggie helps, but he’s still cold. He can hear Sheldon tossing and turning restlessly, grumbling about a temperature that is far below the acceptable norms and how Santa’s elves would never tolerate these working conditions. Finally Leonard gets up again, intending to go and boil the battery-powered kettle and at least attempt to make something resembling hot chocolate using the oddly crunchy cocoa they’ve got.
Raj meets him in the communal area, looking too pale. “Howard’s freezing,” he says without preamble. “We need to get the heat on.”
“What -- what about my parka? It’s rated to minus forty degrees!”
“Yeah, but he’s so skinny he doesn’t have much body heat to trap.”
Leonard goes and tries the door again. This time a drift of at least six inches of snow blocks his passage and the wind screeches through the opening. He hastily slams it shut.
“We’re not gonna get it back on tonight,” he says unnecessarily.
A red LED blinks on as Raj fires up the battery-powered kettle. They’d all thought it was a stupid idea, but Sheldon had said something about what if they needed an extra power point and a cup of tea in an emergency. In fact they’d prepared for pretty much every emergency but this, and it is so simple that Leonard doesn’t know how they managed to overlook it.
The kettle whistles and Raj pours water into each of four mugs, his hands shaking. He gives each of them a good stir, adds more water, and then hands one over to Leonard before adding powdered milk to the other three. The steam wafting off them actually smells pretty good.
“It helps if you dissolve the powders in a little bit of water first,” Raj says when Leonard comments on the lack of grittiness. “You don’t want to oversaturate the initial solution, otherwise you end up with too much precipitate, as it were.”
“You’d make someone a great nerdy wife,” Leonard quips.
Raj looks startled, but then just raises an eyebrow and gives him a wry, tired smile.
Howard is sitting up in bed, knees drawn up to his chest, arms wrapped around them, two blankets across his shoulders. he’s still shivering and, when Leonard sweeps the torchlight across the room, he realizes he can see Howard’s breath. This is all kinds of not good.
“Why the hell isn’t this place better insulated?” Howard grumbles, taking the mug from Raj. “Thanks.”
“Maybe they couldn’t find enough polar bears to nail to the outside,” Raj suggests, making Leonard snerk into his cocoa.
“I’m so cold I’d sleep in a freaking polar bear, and that’s only because we don’t have any tauntauns.” Howard downs his hot chocolate in three quick gulps and almost chokes on a mini marshmallow. Raj thumps him companionably on the back.
“I don’t think we’ll be reduced to sleeping in a tauntaun, Howard,” Leonard says. “Raj, you do realize that hitting him like that won’t stop him from choking, right?”
“I know, but the movement’s helping me keep warm. Plus, if he dies, we don’t have to debate over who to eat first if we run out of food.”
“I’m fine, thanks for asking,” Howard says dryly.
Sheldon shuffles into the bedroom, blinking sleepily like a six foot two owl. A six foot two owl in tartan pajamas with a thick coat over the top of them. “I’m c-cold,” he informs them all, as though it’s breaking news that it’s cold in the Arctic. His teeth chatter on the rim of his cocoa mug. When Leonard sweeps the light his way he sees that if Sheldon’s lips were any bluer they’d officially be cyanotic.
“Jesus, Sheldon! You look like an Avatar character. Or an overgrown Smurf,” Howard says.
“He’s right, man. You are seriously turning blue.”
“P-push the beds together,” Sheldon instructs. “We n-need to share b-body heat.”
Without arguing, Howard gets up off his bed and pushes it towards Raj’s. “I think I saw a porno like this once, only it was all hot chicks,” he grumbles.
“You’ll just have to settle for cold guys,” Leonard informs him. “Now shut up and get in.”
“W-wait.” Sheldon sets his cocoa mug down, hands lifting to the collar of his coat. “W-we need to be naked.”
“Wha-at?”
“I hate to say it, but he’s right, guys,” Leonard says as it becomes apparent that Sheldon is determined to strip. “The most efficient way to share body heat is skin to skin contact. Or, uh, as near to it as we can get, I guess.”
“I could show you the thermodynamic equations,” Sheldon offers, pulling his coat off.
“Dude, I so don’t want to see your equations.”
“Raj, just get naked,” Leonard snaps. “Look, I’ll even turn the light off so Howard doesn’t get stage fright.” He suits the action to the words.
“I don’t get stage fright, I just don’t want to intimidate other men with my manly physique,” Howard mutters in the darkness.
“You’re just jealous because your abs don’t look like sections of a Hershey Bar. More like a Milky Bar.”
“A what.”
“It’s white chocolate.”
“Then why didn’t you just say white chocolate?”
“Because then it wouldn’t have been as funny.”
“When we get back home I’m hiring someone to bite your damn Hershey Bar.”
“Oooh, I’m so scared.”
“Guys, cut the crap,” Leonard says. “Howard, are you naked yet?”
“Yeah. Well, I’m keeping my underwear on.”
“You’d better be.”
“But the groin region produces some of the most heat--”
“Shut uuuup, Sheldon.”
Leonard wishes he didn’t now know the sound of his housemate putting his Superman briefs back on.
“Are you turning the light back on so that we can get into bed without anyone stubbing their toes? Call me crazy, but this is bad enough without adding injuries,” Howard says.
“All right, but I’m aiming it at the ceiling and you’d better get settled fast,” Leonard says. He already misses the dignity of his Snuggie.
Howard and Sheldon end up in the middle by virtue of being the coldest. Leonard lies behind Sheldon on Raj’s bed, trying very hard not to think of spooning with a hot woman, which, with all due respect, Sheldon decidedly is not. Raj curls in behind Howard; there’s a bit of snark from that side of the bed about whose feet are colder until Leonard tells them both to shut up and declares, “Lights out.”
Despite the awkwardness of the situation, Leonard has to concede that this is working. He’s pretty warm and he’s close enough to Sheldon to be able to feel when Sheldon stops shivering. He’s got the blankets pulled up as far as he can so that only the top half of his face is at all exposed. At least the temperature seems to have stopped dropping. It’s even almost tolerable now the rest of him is warm and that Howard and Raj have stopped kicking each other.
Leonard’s finally warm and comfortable enough to begin slipping towards sleep when a furtive movement jolts him back towards wakefulness.
“Howard Joel Wolowitz,” he says, “you’d better not be doing what I think you’re doing.”
The sudden cessation of movement and the quality of Howard’s nervous laugh tell him everything he didn’t want to know. “I’m not doing anything.”
“Of course you were, dude.” Raj sounds amused. “Everybody knows you can’t sleep unless you’ve gotten off.”
There is a sudden profound silence that even the blizzard has trouble touching.
“I, for one, did not know that,” Sheldon says at last. “And I am not entirely certain that I wanted to know that.”
“Gross, Howard. What were you going to do, just come in your underwear or something? While we’re sharing a bed? Can’t you go without for one night?”
Howard takes too long to answer. “I guess so.”
“Jeez. You don’t want to be naked in front of other guys but you’re okay with jerking off in bed with us?”
“Technically I’m only in bed with Raj.”
“That’s a weaker excuse than the classic ‘A wizard did it’,” Sheldon contributes, moving perceptibly further away from Howard. The curve of his ass brushes Leonard’s thigh and he adjusts back an inch in the other direction. Forget drafts and TV angles; finding the right spot when trying to avoid touching anyone else you’re in bed with must be hell.
“Why the hell is it okay if you’re only in bed with Raj?”
“Because I’ve been three feet away from him every night since we got here and I already know all about his nocturnal habits,” Raj offers helpfully.
“Oh. Right.”
“Also, we’ve been having sex for the past week.”
“What?”
“Raj!” Howard sounds scandalized.
“What? Was it meant to be a secret? Are you ashamed of me?”
“No!”
“Then why are you yelling at me?”
“I wasn’t yelling at -- I just meant -- oh, damn.”
“I feel insulted now.”
“Oh, Raj.” Howard’s tone is oddly gentle rather than dismissive. His weight shifts in the bed and then Leonard hears the unmistakable sound of kissing.
“I cannot believe you two! We’ve only been here for nine weeks. Couldn’t you contain your base impulses for three more weeks?”
“Sheldon! Leave them alone. Not everyone wants to spend all their free time playing Klingon Boggle or Zombie Fluxx.”
“Well, I don’t see why not!”
Howard and Raj are still making out. Leonard can’t see them but whatever Howard’s doing is getting some very interesting noises out of Raj. It’s right then that Leonard realizes that he’s getting aroused, and he has to poke his face out from under the blankets to cool his burning cheeks.
“Uh, guys, happy as I am for you, could you maybe knock it off while we’re in bed with you?”
“Jealous?” The leer is audible in Howard’s voice. Leonard laughs as lightly as he can and it seems to diffuse the odd tension building in the room.
The two of them apparently settle down after that, although Leonard’s sure that he can hear whispery noises that have nothing to do with the wind outside. Raj shifts position, rolling over or something, and then is still again.
He finally realizes that they haven’t stopped at all when Howard lets out a low moan that he tries unsuccessfully to cut off.
“For God’s sake, Howard, will you stop it?”
“I’m not doing anything,” Howard says, gasping.
“It’s true, he’s not. I can’t be absolutely certain but I believe that Koothrappali is performing fellatio on him.”
Leonard feels suddenly dizzy, not to mention surprised at Sheldon’s blasé attitude towards all of this. Although he suspects it’s less blasé than just plain resigned, at this point. “The hell, you two?”
“Jealous?” Howard asks again, his voice cracking.
Leonard just goes, “Augh,” and rolls onto his stomach to bury his face in the pillow. This means his hip is pressed against Sheldon’s ass, but Sheldon seems disinclined to move away, if only because that would mean moving closer to the scene of debauchery in the other bed. They’re not being over the top about it but they’re no longer bothering to even try and hide what they’re doing.
After a moment or two Sheldon rolls as well so he’s on his other side, facing Leonard, and somehow manages to do it in such a way that he doesn’t end up right on top of Leonard. Maybe he levitates or uses the Force or something.
“Doesn’t this bother you?” Leonard whispers to him.
“I’ve been happier,” Sheldon agrees.
“MmmmyeahRaj,” Howard contributes.
It’s only been nine weeks. He shouldn’t be so starved of human contact that he’s getting all hot and bothered over two of his friends fooling around in the next bed. Or the same bed. Or whatever this is.
Howard’s reduced to wordless sounds within a few more seconds. Raj must be good with his mouth. Leonard wonders how good and makes a quiet anguished noise into his pillow.
“Are you all right, Leonard?”
““m fine.”
“Are you sure? You sounded distressed. You didn’t accidentally put milk in your cocoa, did you?”
“No. Besides, that powdered crap has all the lactose content of chalk.”
“Oh, I hardly think so. I read the nutritional information very carefully on all the brands, but I simply couldn’t find a lactose-free powdered milk.”
“Guys,” Howard moans. “Mood killers much?”
Sheldon closes the gap between himself and Leonard a little more, his lips and facial hair brushing against Leonard’s ear as he whispers, “We should probably just let them finish. Once they’re done, maybe we’ll get some sleep.”
“Oh, I highly doubt that,” Leonard mutters, hotly aware of his own erection and of Sheldon’s bare warm body pressed so close to his.
He’s so focused on lying still and not reaching out to touch Sheldon, which will freak the other man out, that when Howard’s back arches as he comes Leonard can feel every shudder, every vibration, as though he were the one beside Howard. He feels like his skin is too tight for his body, like he might burst right out of it if touched the right way. He wants to be touched. He wants to be at home in his chair watching Babylon 5 and not lying practically naked with his roommate almost on top of him and two other guys getting it on mere inches away.
Thinking’s getting harder. He’s getting harder. He dimly hears Raj scuffling around and complaining about how cold the water in his drink bottle is. How can anything be cold? He’s not cold. He’s burning up and Sheldon’s breath is fire against the side of his neck and he realizes they’re sharing the pillow and that’s how close Sheldon is.
“Sorry about that, guys,” Howard says, and even in the dark with his face buried in the pillow Leonard can see the shit-eating smirk on Howard’s face.
“What’re you apologizing to them for? Were you even planning to reciprocate?” Raj snarks.
“Wolowitz, will you please bring Koothrappali to climax so that Leonard and I can get some sleep?” Sheldon asks in a tone that suggests it’s a perfectly reasonable request.
“Don’t I get time to come down from that?” Howard’s voice softens. “Raj, that was amazing.”
“That’s more like it.”
“I’ll never understand the fascination with coitus,” Sheldon says, lips still pretty much right on Leonard’s ear.
“Come on, Sheldon, we both know you get yourself off.” Leonard is too worked up to care what he’s saying any more.
“Only because it’s distracting to attempt to work in that condition,” Sheldon says primly.
“You’re tellin' us,” Howard says. His voice sounds further away; when Raj snickers at the comment Leonard realizes it’s because the two of them have traded places, Howard on the outside, Raj on the inside. They’re all equally warm (hot) now.
“I simply think that getting another person involved is unnecessarily complicating the issue.”
“Oh, really?” Howard’s voice is suddenly low and insinuating. “So you’ve never imagined someone else’s hand on you instead of your own? Someone else touching you, their body pressed against yours?” Raj lets out a whimper that indicates that, if either of them were inclined to look, Howard is providing a physical demonstration.
“No,” Sheldon says flatly. Or attempts to say flatly. Except it turns into, “No-ohhh,” and then, “Koothrappali, why did you just lick my neck?”
“It was there.” Leonard can hear Raj shrugging.
“Now, Raj, leave him alone, he wants me to finish you off so he can sleep. He doesn’t want to hear about how good it can feel to have someone else get you off, how even if they know your rhythm they might not exactly match it, meaning you last longer because they’re not... quite... getting you there.”
Raj goes, “Nnnngh,” and then, “Please, Howard,” and Leonard turns his head at last to find himself nose to nose with Sheldon. To his surprise there’s just enough light in the room -- or maybe his eyes are adjusting -- for him to make out the look on Sheldon’s face. It’s that same thoughtful look he gets when he’s contemplating a particularly complex equation. Leonard can feel Sheldon’s breath against his lips. In the dark Sheldon’s eyes are the blue of the sky at deepest midnight, a blue so dark it is almost black.
Howard’s voice is relentless, as is (Leonard imagines) the movement of his hand on Raj’s cock. “But of course it just feels so good because it’s someone else touching you, taking the time to please you. It doesn’t matter if they don’t hit your favorite speed or whatever; all that matters is that they’re doing it at all.”
Raj lets out a long low whine from the back of his throat. Leonard nervously licks his lips, realizes that Sheldon is watching his tongue, and does it again, this time deliberately slower. He’s pretty sure that Sheldon sighs, and not in his usual oh-Leonard-you-simple-fool way, but he’s not positive until Sheldon shifts minutely and all of a sudden Leonard realizes he was right about the groin being one of the hottest parts of the body. Sheldon’s not pressing right up against him, but there’s probably not room to slip so much as a stray electron between them.
“So it’s as much about an emotional connection as a physical one, because so much of the fun comes from knowing that your partner wants to please you, that they get pleasure from getting you off, that they want to know they’re the one who’s made you come...”
As if on cue Raj lets out a loud moan and his whole body goes tense-tight, drawing in to the locus formed by his cock and Howard’s hand. Leonard can imagine the jerk and pulse of his cock and feels a single answering pulse of pleasure from low down in his own body. He realizes he’s biting his lower lip and hastily releases it. At least he’s not doing anything really embarrassing, like humping the mattress.
Sheldon’s just looking at him calmly, as though nothing at all just happened.
The room smells of sex now. Leonard considers burying his face back in the pillow, and possibly attempting to smother himself, but doesn’t. Apart from anything else the pillow smells of Raj, and right now that smell too is associated with arousal. His eyes have adjusted to the tiny bit of grey light permeating the room and he’s close enough to see that contemplative look still on Sheldon’s face.
“You missed your calling, Wolowitz. Clearly you should have done a degree in creative writing and gone to work for Mills and Boon.”
“Shut up, Sheldon,” Howard says blithely, and then the more prosaic sounds of tissues being pulled from a box take over and Leonard decides he has to say something now.
“I can’t believe you guys just did that!”
Howard lets out a somewhat embarrassed laugh. “Yeah, well, what happens in the Arctic stays in the Arctic.”
Raj stops muttering about being sticky and actually sounds hurt when he says, “Are you dumping me?”
“What? No! I meant that we don’t talk about this.”
“Us this, or the night the heat went out this?”
Howard’s voice is strange-strained when he responds, “Tonight this. That’s all.” In his tender tone are the words left unspoken.
“Mmmmkay.” Raj sounds post-coital now. Springs squeak as they settle back down into sated snuggling. No doubt their side of the bed is thoroughly warm by now.
“So you don’t think you’d get anything out of that kind of deal, Sheldon?” Howard asks, also sounding drowsy.
Leonard’s watching Sheldon’s face as he answers -- how could he not? Sheldon’s only an inch away -- and although what Sheldon’s voice says is, “No, Wolowitz, I wouldn’t. Now will you please go to sleep?” what the unusual little smile on Sheldon’s lips says is something quite different.
“Suit yourself,” are Howard’s last words before silence reigns over that side of the bed. Great. Now Leonard can go to sleep. Except for the fact that if he rolled onto his back he’d turn their side of the bed into a tent.
His side. His side, not their side, Jesus.
Sheldon’s still looking at him with that calculating-equations look, and Leonard closes his eyes, because he can’t exactly feign sleep with his eyes open.
Apparently Sheldon solves for x or reaches a conclusion or something, because the next thing Leonard knows is that Sheldon’s hand is resting lightly on his lower back, just above his ass, and Sheldon’s lips are even lighter against his, the lingering remnants of sweet cocoa turning them into spun sugar.
And they’re definitely not cold any more.
He can’t move anything except for his eyes, which he opens again, hoping that he doesn’t look too startled by this turn in events. He feels like his skin’s going to split open where Sheldon’s hand is resting on it, like a cocoon tapped by a stray branch.
Sheldon’s eyes are closed, his lashes making charcoal arcs against his pale skin, only just visible in the grey not-light. They’re trembling a little; Leonard wonders if it’s from nerves or the cold or just the unusual situation. He’s not pressing the kiss any deeper but nor is he backing away.
Leonard can’t resist lightly touching his tongue to the centre of Sheldon’s lower lip, seeking that spun-sugar taste again. When he finds it he realizes that it’s not the cocoa, it’s the little marshmallows that were in it, but then Sheldon’s tongue is coming out to meet his and Leonard forgets all about the taste and concentrates on the feeling. It’s so light and delicate that it makes his lips tingle, a shivery tingle that spreads a new kind of warmth through him.
He’d never thought that this soft exploration with lips and tongue would happen between him and any guy, much less Sheldon, but now that it is happening he doesn’t want it to stop. Like it or not, Howard’s set off a chain reaction and it’s as inevitable and as difficult to stop as the blizzard howling outside.
If the air around them weren’t so cold this would be stifling; the blanket’s kind of half up over their faces. Leonard reaches up and pulls it down just so they don’t overheat and Sheldon’s eyes flash open. Given that they’re still connected at the mouth (and Sheldon’s hand on his back, warm and solid and grounding) it’s a little weird for a second, but then Leonard touches Sheldon’s cheek tentatively, fingertips brushing over the smooth skin and then the neat beard Sheldon’s developed (his own disdains any attempts that he makes to tame it, and shaving’s inconceivable at this point), and Sheldon’s eyes close again and he lets out a little sigh into Leonard’s mouth.
Whether it’s from Howard deliberately trying to rile him up or their close proximity or just some part of that brilliant mind turning from theory to curiosity to practice, Sheldon seems like he’s quite interested in exploring this whole “other person” concept after all. And, Leonard realizes, he’s okay with that.
The thing is that Sheldon’s lips are so soft and his kisses so shy that Leonard kind of wants to care for him, to take him and show him what can happen between two people. Sure, he’s limited in his experience with other guys, but at least he has some experience and can extrapolate--
--and dear God Sheldon’s hand is moving, only to run up and down his back in lazy slow strokes, but nonetheless it sets off more hot tingling through his body and he makes a soft sound into the kiss, and he feels Sheldon’s lips curve a little in a smile.
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. They’re doing this.
Leonard carefully catches Sheldon’s lower lip between his teeth and licks it. Sheldon lets out a surprised noise and moves closer still, and his hand moves up to the back of Leonard’s neck, fingers combing through Leonard’s stupidly long hair. It feels good, and Leonard’s torn between tilting his head back into Sheldon’s touch or forward to deepen the kiss.
Then Sheldon makes the decision for him, fingers tightening in Leonard’s hair and pulling gently but insistently, and Leonard rolls onto his side and drapes his arm across Sheldon’s waist and kisses him harder, deeper, tasting the last of the marshmallow fading to be replaced by the simple taste of hot mouth and darting tongue. Which should be a feeling, not a taste, but somehow it is both.
“Are you sure about this?” he whispers when they stop for a second, although there are several signs that Sheldon is quite sure about this and one of them is poking him in the thigh.
“I think maybe for once I would not be averse to unnecessarily complicating the issue,” Sheldon admits.
“Why now, for God’s sake? Why here? Why me?”
“Why not?”
And because Leonard can’t think of a particular reason why not, he tightens his arm around Sheldon’s waist to pull him closer. He’s not sure if Howard and Raj are asleep or not and the thought makes him pause for a moment, but then Sheldon’s mouth is insistent against his again and suddenly he doesn’t give a damn whether the other two are awake or asleep or dressing in drag and doing the hula.
He doesn’t know exactly where to take things from here. This isn’t something that has a logical progression that he’s familiar with. So he just rolls onto his back and drags Sheldon with him. For the first time Sheldon resists a little and so he ends up only half-draped over Leonard, but after that initial moment of shock he recovers and his mouth descends on Leonard and Leonard wonders how the hell they can possibly be in the Arctic because this is hot. His hands roam up and down Sheldon’s back, feeling the heat coming off him like a newly kindled fire.
“This feels good,” Sheldon says, his tone wondering, even surprised.
“Yeah, well, I think that’s the point Howard was trying to get across.” Leonard squeezes Sheldon’s ass and Sheldon pushes against him and lets out this little half-choked whimper and Leonard likes the noise so he does it again. “I know you don’t usually pay attention to anything he has to say, but maybe this time it’s be a good idea.”
All he gets in response is, “Oh God, Leonard,” and then Sheldon’s kissing him again.
They’ve already skipped a good deal of the foreplay -- well, not foreplay so much as preparatory events -- by virtue of the fact that they’re already almost naked, so Leonard just takes his time with kissing and nipping at the side of Sheldon’s neck until Sheldon’s well and truly writhing on top of him and has, in fact, moved right on top of him instead of just being half-on him. Sheldon’s so much taller than him that he’s covered completely by the other man’s body. It feels good, secure.
“Leonard...” The name comes out in a breathy growl completely unlike anything he’s ever heard from Sheldon before. “Please...”
“What do you want?” Leonard has his lips pressed against the side of Sheldon’s neck and can feel his wildly beating pulse there, like a fluttering butterfly trying to get free of its chrysalis.
“You.”
“That’s not being very specific, Doctor Cooper.” Leonard runs a teasing finger under the elastic of Sheldon’s underwear, blithely ignoring the part of his brain that’s asking him just what the hell he thinks he’s doing. “I need to know more than just that to take this venture any further.”
“Please.” Sheldon sounds like someone’s taken his mind apart and not put it back together in quite the right order. “I want... I...”
Leonard takes Sheldon’s earlobe between his teeth and nips lightly and whispers, “Say it, Sheldon.”
All Sheldon can manage at that is a helpless little whine. He buries his face against the side of Leonard’s neck, trying to kiss or bite him in return, and some imp of the perverse lands on each of Leonard’s shoulder -- no angels to hold him back, just devils spurring him on -- and he reaches up with his free hand to pull Sheldon’s head back by the hair in (he hopes) a rough but not painful way.
He kisses Sheldon at the same time as he slips his other hand down the front of Sheldon’s underwear to wrap his fingers around Sheldon’s cock, but Sheldon manages to make quite a bit of noise anyway. When he breaks the kiss off Sheldon’s gasping and grinding against him, but Leonard keeps his hand still in spite of Sheldon’s movements.
Sheldon’s whimpering is starting to sound frustrated. Leonard presses his lips against the side of Sheldon’s neck just below his ear and whispers again, “Say it.”
The chrysalis splits wide open and Sheldon’s murmuring frantically, “Please, Leonard, pleasepleaseplease, make me come, please!”
Leonard starts moving his hand in time with Sheldon’s desperate thrusts. “That’s it, that’s what I wanted to hear...”
And then they both hear something that neither of them expected to hear: a soft whisper of, “Holy cow,” from the other side of the bed.
Evidently Raj isn’t asleep after all.
Now Sheldon seems like he’s going to freak out; his eyes have gone wide and panicky now that they have an audience. He tries to back off but Leonard tightens his hands -- both of them -- and whispers, “No. Let me give you what you want.” He keeps his hand moving and pulls Sheldon down for another slow kiss. Sheldon surrenders to him, breathing raggedly.
Leonard’s so focused on what he’s doing to Sheldon that he almost doesn’t notice Raj shifting closer to them until Sheldon arches his back and makes an odd strangled noise. He breaks the kiss to see what’s wrong and realizes that Raj is running his hand slowly up and down Sheldon’s back and gazing at them calmly, as though he does this all the time.
Sheldon’s forehead drops to Leonard’s shoulder and he’s mostly moaning Leonard’s name, but Leonard hears Raj’s name interspersed in there as well, the hissing sibilant, “Rajessssh,” unmistakable. It kindles a smile on Raj’s lips, right before he takes advantage of the fact that Sheldon has moved his head to lean in and kiss Leonard.
It’s enough to make Leonard’s hand falter. Raj is a great kisser. His mouth moves against Leonard’s with a lazy sensuality that Leonard would never have expected. (Because of course he totally anticipated all the rest of this insanity. Not.) Raj makes jokes about the Kama Sutra a lot; Leonard hadn’t realized he’d actually read it, much less put any of it into practice.
No wonder Howard was so wrung out earlier.
The thought of where Raj’s mouth was just before this almost makes him back off, but they’ve crossed so many lines already that it seems ridiculous to stop on that basis, especially when Raj does something with his tongue against the roof of Leonard’s mouth that sends sparks straight up into his brain, making it fizzle.
“Leonard,” Sheldon whines, pushing hard into Leonard’s hand, and Leonard gives Raj another quick kiss before turning all his attention back to Sheldon. Sheldon just can’t stand being interrupted by anything, can he? Leonard’s still very aware of Raj’s presence, though.
Sheldon’s breath is hectic-hot against the side of Leonard’s neck. He’s never seen Sheldon so out of control or so needy, and it stirs up something primal inside him. He hooks one leg around Sheldon’s, pinning him, and starts pumping his hand a little faster while returning to those same slow exploring kisses from earlier. The contrast is driving him wild; he can’t imagine how it must feel for Sheldon.
“You two look amazing together,” says Raj, sounding drugged. He’s still slowly stroking Sheldon’s back and leans in to press his lips against Sheldon’s shoulder. When Sheldon doesn’t freak out about it Raj moves in closer to kiss the side of his neck instead.
Howard’s right; this is like something out of a porno.
Sheldon’s entire body tenses up; Leonard can feel it considering how tightly wrapped he is around the other man. Then Sheldon’s cock is slow-pulsing in his hand and Sheldon’s making the most delicious moaning sound right into his mouth. He slides sideways a little as though all the bones just vanished out of his body and rests his head against Leonard’s shoulder, and Leonard can’t help but smirk. This wasn’t covered in the roommate agreement.
Raj, ever helpful, moves away for a moment and then is pressing a wad of tissues into Leonard’s hand. Leonard cleans up as best as he can in the dark, trying to figure out when he became a raging nympho. Or whatever the male equivalent is. Not that, he supposes, getting just one of his friends off quite fits the accepted definition of “raging”, but still. He just kind of feels that way, like now this has started he’s not sure if or when it will stop.
Cleanup achieved, he wraps his arms around Sheldon, holding him close. Raj curls into them both, his arm still draped over Sheldon’s back. Sheldon’s breathing has quieted somewhat, but his eyes are still closed and his head is nestled against the side of Leonard’s neck. Leonard affectionately kisses the top of his head and hears Sheldon make a happy little humming sort of noise.
“Once in a while Howard gets things right,” Raj says, nuzzling Leonard’s cheek with his lips. Leonard turns his head and is rewarded with another deep kiss.
“How the hell did you end up sleeping with him?” Leonard asks when his mouth is (temporarily) not busy.
“I threw my pillow at him and he wouldn’t give it back.”
“And...?”
He feels Raj shrug. “I had to get it back somehow. These beds are too uncomfortable without a pillow.”
“So, what, you traded sex for a pillow?”
“That wasn’t the original plan! I just went over there to take it back and he grabbed my arm and I lost my balance--”
“Are you trying to tell me you slipped and fell on his cock?” Leonard cracks up. “Raj!”
“More or less.”
“I bet you start all your D&D games by having the party meet in a tavern, too.”
“Hey, don’t knock the classics.” Raj nips Leonard’s lip lightly and Leonard’s brain goes all fizzy again.
“W-why were you throwing your pillow at him in the first place?”
“Because he makes weird noises when he masturbates, dude! It’s like trying to go to sleep in a freakin’ monkey house.”
They share a laugh at that. Leonard can’t figure out why this isn’t more awkward than it is. Maybe he’s dreaming. Maybe someone slipped something in his cocoa. He sort of wishes he had a totem to check whether this is reality or not, but his boxer shorts don’t have pockets. He’s thinking totally stupid crap. Clearly this is reality. Huh.
“Leonard?” Sheldon says, sounding utterly dazed.
“Mmmm?”
“I can’t feel my brain.”
That sets Raj off into a giggling fit. Sheldon’s body shakes and after a second Leonard realizes he’s laughing as well. He’s surprised that Howard hasn’t woken up yet, and says so.
“Oh, he’s always comatose for at least an hour after sex,” Raj says dismissively, as though they’ve been sleeping together for years instead of days. “Talk about conforming to stereotypes.”
“I don’t think any of us are exactly conforming to stereotypes tonight.”
“Dude, I’m pretty sure ‘ridiculously horny but unfulfilled scientist’ is a stereotype.”
“True. Plus I’m pretty sure that ‘any man incoherent after sex’ is another one.” Leonard kisses Sheldon’s forehead.
“I am coherent. My brain just isn’t working,” Sheldon corrects him.
Raj snickers. “Leonard, you made him come his brains out. That’s an achievement.”
“Maybe I’ll get a Nobel Prize for sex.”
“I think we would need to see further research before we could award you that,” Sheldon says, and Leonard’s seriously considering headbutting him, or at least pinching him somewhere interesting, before his own brain catches up and translates from Sheldonese: That felt good. Can we do it again sometime?
“Now that would be an interesting peer review panel,” Raj puts in.
Leonard can’t resist. “Review this,” he says, turning back to Raj and kissing him hard. Raj makes a little surprised noise and then kisses him back, taking control fast and effortlessly. It’s always the quiet ones, Leonard thinks, and then he has to bite back another laugh.
Raj nips his lip again. “No giggling,” he says before kissing Leonard again, and Leonard can’t giggle any more because Raj does that thing with his tongue again and it fries a few of his synapses.
Finally they separate. Raj makes a big show of thinking hard about the “review”. At last he announces, “I give you an eight out of ten.”
“Eight?!” Leonard is simultaneously amused and scandalized. “Why?”
“You lose points for too much tongue and being too rough,” Raj informs him.
“Too rough? You’re the one who bit me,” Leonard protests.
“‘All the places that can be kissed are also the places that can be bitten’,” Raj quotes, and Leonard has no doubt as to where he’s quoting it from.
“All the places? Isn’t that, uh, going a little overboard?” Leonard asks. “I mean, there are some places where teeth just don’t belong but that kissing’s okay.”
Raj gives him a downright wicked grin. “Oh really? Just where did you want me to kiss you, Leonard?”
“...”
“And I thought Sheldon had trouble expressing himself.” Raj pulls his arm away from Sheldon’s back and gives him a gentle push. “Sheldon, get off him for a minute, I need room to work.”
“We’re sharing body heat,” Sheldon protests, not lifting his head from Leonard’s shoulder.
“You can still do that.” Raj’s eyes are fathomless in the minimal light present in the room. “I’m just going to warm him up even more.”
Sheldon acquiesces at last and Leonard feels odd without Sheldon on top of him, like something’s missing. Sheldon stretches out beside him, tight up along his side, and Raj immediately moves in for another searing kiss before beginning to work his way down Leonard’s body. If Leonard were thinking about this at all rationally he’d be freaking out, but he’s just too damn turned on.
When Raj’s mouth finally closes over the head of his cock, he lets out a moan that should wake up hibernating polar bears, much less Howard, but Howard doesn’t move and no polar bears knock on the cabin door asking them to keep it down. Do polar bears even hibernate, anyway? He can’t remember. The only reason he’s even hanging onto this idiotic train of thought is because it’s keeping him from hair-triggering.
They’re generating enough body heat here to rescue a hypothermia ward. Raj’s mouth right now seems to be the source of most of it; his tongue curls around Leonard’s cockhead while his lips work on the shaft, and then Leonard feels Sheldon’s mouth come down on his and oh, so that’s what it feels like to get those shivery-soft kisses at the same time as someone’s getting you off. Little wonder Sheldon can’t feel his brain.
“God, you two...” he murmurs at Sheldon.
Sheldon just laughs.
Raj’s hand joins his mouth on Leonard and Leonard bucks unintentionally; rather than recoiling Raj puts his other hand on Leonard’s hip to hold him down and sucks harder and faster. Leonard doesn’t know but it sure as hell seems like Raj has had more than a week’s practice at this.
He isn’t going to ask. Isn’t, isn’t, isn’t.
“How the -- oh my God -- hell did you get so good at this?”
Raj lifts his head long enough to respond, “I had a good teacher... I’m not boring you, am I?” His voice holds an unfamiliar hard edge. “Because if you’re bored enough to talk, I can stop.”
“No!” Leonard yelps. “Please don’t.”
Sheldon’s been awfully quiet through all of this, but now he slides further down the bed. Leonard isn’t sure just what he’s up to until he hears Sheldon say, “Will you teach me?”
Holyjesusfreakin’christ, Leonard thinks, holding his breath and hoping like hell that the answer is yes.
Raj doesn’t say anything to Sheldon and Leonard’s tense with waiting and arousal and need. Raj’s hand has stilled on him and he twitches restlessly and Raj pinches his thigh by way of admonishment. Then he lifts that hand, and Leonard feels movement but isn’t sure what’s going on.
“Good,” Raj says after a moment, sounding half amused, half aroused. “Now try it on him.”
The next thing Leonard knows is that there’s a tentative tongue on him, drawing a line up the side of his cock, and a shuddering sigh escapes him as the truth settles into his mind: that’s Sheldon’s tongue on him.
He can’t think what on Earth would make Sheldon want to do this, even after what he did to Sheldon. Then the thought occurs that maybe it’s because of what he did to Sheldon. Sheldon’s always been a big believer in reciprocity, after all. Although this is overcompensation for a simple handj-- oh God oh God oh God Sheldon’s mouth has just closed over him and he’s sucking lightly and Leonard no longer gives a fuck about overcompensation, just trying not to thrust blindly into Sheldon’s nervous mouth because he doesn’t want to scare Sheldon and he doesn’t want this to stop.
“So good,” he hears himself say as if from a long long way away, and Raj’s answering chuckle. Sheldon doesn’t make any noise; he’s always quiet when he’s really concentrating.
Raj isn’t just playing audience, though. The hand on Leonard’s cock still isn’t moving, just to not overcomplicate things for Sheldon (who complicates things himself at that moment with a tongue swirl that has Leonard moaning), but Raj’s other hand is teasing lower down between Leonard’s legs and Leonard suddenly wonders just how far he and Howard have gone, because Raj seems extremely at ease with this.
Then he gives up on thinking, because why bother? It feels good so there’s no point in arguing and it feels so good he can’t argue and it feels... so... good... God.
Raj’s hand tightens on him abruptly and he hears Raj say, “Back off a second, Sheldon, he’s really close,” and Sheldon respond, “I thought that was the idea,” and he’d laugh if he weren’t preoccupied with whimpering. He bucks futilely into Raj’s hand and Raj pinches him again with the other hand and this time it’s a much sharper pain that makes him gasp.
“Sorry,” Raj says softly.
“Ggggnnhh,” Leonard replies eloquently.
Raj interprets this correctly as It’s okay, but nonetheless nudges his head in between Leonard’s legs to kiss the soft skin of his inner thigh where the pinch landed, and Leonard can’t keep from wriggling and moaning.
“Raj, what’re you doing?” Sheldon asks. “I can’t do anything if you make him a moving target.”
“Sorry,” Raj says again. “Just kissing him better.”
“Ffff,” goes Leonard.
“Oh,” says Sheldon, and then his mouth is back on Leonard and Leonard might’ve pulled back from the edge for a few moments there but Sheldon rapidly has him teetering on it again, not because of any particular talent or finesse or anything but simply because it’s Sheldon, and frankly, sucking cock is not something he thought that mouth would ever do.
That thought alone, attaching that terminology for that action to Sheldon, fries another few synapses.
“Sheldon, move, let me,” Raj whispers urgently, and Sheldon moves -- Leonard whines in protest -- and then his cock is engulfed by Raj’s hot mouth, his tongue working fast, his hand picking up the rhythm, and he’s coming within seconds, an inarticulate sound escaping his throat.
“I could have done that,” Sheldon complains.
“I’m sure you could, dude, but the Listerine’s all the way out in the bathroom and I know what you’re like,” Raj says.
“Nargle,” goes Leonard, eyes rolling back in his head as Raj administers one last swipe of his tongue and then moves to fetch his water bottle.
Sheldon moves up beside Leonard and whispers in his ear, “You don’t mind that I didn’t fully return the attention you paid to me, do you?”
“Nnnneh.” At least it starts with the same consonant as “no”.
“Oh, good.” Sheldon pauses, resettling himself to lie alongside Leonard. “That wasn’t entirely unpleasant,” he admits. “It does feel good to elicit that kind of reaction from you.”
“Classy pillow talk.” Raj kisses Leonard’s cheek, his lips cold from the near-frozen water. “So, Doctor Hofstadter, can you feel your brain?”
Leonard has to think about it. “Mmmm... no.”
Raj laughs and rests his head against Leonard’s other shoulder. Leonard kind of feels sorry for Howard all alone over there, but what Howard doesn’t know won’t hurt him. About the snuggling, anyway. He’s not sure whether the Koothrappali-Wolowitz liaison is meant to be an exclusive arrangement, but if it was he’s pretty sure they just broke it the way Monte broke their toaster oven.
On the other hand, Howard wouldn’t have been showing off and being so explicit in front of Leonard and Sheldon if the two of them had been trying to keep things exclusive, would they?
God, this is complicated. Leonard lets out a little disgruntled grf noise and Raj and Sheldon both ask, “Are you okay?” in unison.
“I’m fine. I was just thinking we’re all going to need to get extra class rings made so we can trade them.”
Raj snorts. Sheldon isn’t so loud but he does laugh.
“It’ll be a handful of bling, dude.”
“Seriously though, what is this?”
“Why does it have to be anything? We got cold, we warmed up...”
“...you’ve been warming Howard up for a week...”
“Do you want me to pinch you again?”
“Maybe.”
Raj pokes him in the ribs instead. “Don’t overthink it,” he warns Leonard. “We still have three weeks to go on this expedition and if any of us freak out over this, there’s nowhere else to go.”
“Thanks for reminding me, Raj, that’s really helping me not freak out.”
“Sexual experimentation during college is a long-held tradition,” mumbles Sheldon, sounding half-asleep. “Just because we’re college graduates instead of students...”
“Sheldon. Is that really you? I’m not sure that’s really you.”
Sheldon’s lips find his cheek in a light brush of skin on skin. “Of course it’s me.”
“And it’s not an alternate universe you?”
“Leonard, you’re being absurd -- Raj, does this always happen to people after coitus? I swear, it’s like he’s on drugs.”
Oh, okay, so it is him after all.
“It’s not unheard of,” Raj says.
Their voices seem very distant. Leonard realizes that the sweet lassitude of sleep is overtaking him. He turns his head to kiss Sheldon and then to the other side to kiss Raj. He feels very, very well-treated.
Raj rolls away for a moment and then back. “I think Howard needs snuggles,” he announces. “That side of the bed’s getting cold.”
“Oh. Okay,” Leonard says, feeling and sounding just a little bit pouty.
Sheldon laughs. “Leonard, you’re greedy. You can’t have me and Raj, that’s unfair. And we can’t cut Raj in half. He’s not a dumpling.”
And Sheldon was just calling him absurd a minute ago. “We’ll just have to share him, then.”
“Is this going to involve biting?” Raj asks, and all three of them laugh.
Raj won’t move away until he’s kissed both of them good night. Leonard’s still expecting Sheldon to baulk at the suggestion, but instead Raj leans across Leonard’s chest and Leonard hears the kiss and Sheldon’s soft hiss (Raj probably did that thing with his tongue) and feels hot irrational jealousy for a strange long second.
Then it’s gone, and Raj is gone, and it’s just him and Sheldon in the dark.
Disentangling from each other seems pointless now. It feels weird having Sheldon’s head against his shoulder; Sheldon’s so much taller than him that it really feels like it should be the other way around. On the other hand, he really likes having his arms around Sheldon and feeling his slow long exhales against his bare skin. It feels good and right in a what the hell sort of way.
This is going to be weird when they get home again.
What happens in the Arctic stays in the Arctic.
Does it, though?
Leonard presses one last kiss to Sheldon’s forehead; Sheldon murmurs something sleepily that Leonard, with the ease born of years of practice, interprets as, “Goodnight, Leonard.”
“Night, Sheldon,” he whispers in return.
The last thought he has before he falls asleep, that ordinarily would jolt him instantly awake and into a panic attack, is What would Penny think of all this?
The next morning dawns bright and cold and awkward. Raj and Howard are spooned together quite happily, but Leonard can’t quite decide where to look, even though they’re all covered in blankets. He moves to sit up but Sheldon’s clinging to him like a barnacle to a rock and murmurs something vaguely protesting. Leonard gives up and settles back down.
When he wakes back up, Sheldon is gone, his clothes missing from the floor (assuming they’d ended up on the floor, he can’t really remember), and Raj is gingerly easing his arm out from under Howard’s sleeping form. Leonard slides out of his side of the bed and snags his Snuggie, pulling it on hastily before starting a more thorough search for his clothes. His boxer shorts are way down under the blankets, which are probably going to need a wash anyway. It’s lucky the dryer’s heavy duty.
“Morning, Leonard.” Raj sounds well-rested.
“Hey,” Leonard mumbles back, gathering his bundle of clothing to his chest. “I’ll go get the generator going, okay?”
“Want any help?”
“No.”
It’s not entirely awkward but it’s not entirely easy, after all.
Leonard goes back to his own room and Sheldon’s not there either, but the bathroom door is closed and since he knows way too much about Sheldon’s personal habits he doesn’t need to think about it. He gets dressed as fast as possible and slogs outside in his big clumpy snow boots.
Refueling the generator is easily done. Figuring out why the backup fuel tank didn’t kick in is also easily done: the fuel line, despite its insulation, has frozen. Leonard wraps a heat pack around it and makes a mental note to find something to use to better insulate it.
After last night, he’s practically an expert at finding ways to keep things warm.
When he comes back inside, shivering, teeth chattering, the lights are on and the heat is blasting and Raj is making coffee and Howard’s in the bathroom and Sheldon is already booting his computer back up. Leonard stands for a moment at the door knocking snow off his boots and looking at the back of Sheldon’s head, the nape of his neck, the curve where neck meets shoulder and vanishes into his clothing. It looks kissable and, once Leonard gets his ridiculously thick parka off, that’s just what he goes and does.
“Leonard!” Sheldon, looking scandalized, pushes him away, and Leonard’s heart plummets. Oh no. Now it’s getting weird and freaky and they still have three weeks to go before he can go back to Pasadena and then promptly move to another country and change his name and pose as an engineer to avoid the everlasting embarrassment of one misbegotten night of passion.
“Your nose is freezing,” Sheldon grumbles, standing up and pulling Leonard into a one-armed embrace, touching the tip of one finger to Leonard’s nose. “You should’ve worn a ski mask.”
Relief floods Leonard so hard that he wraps his arms around Sheldon’s waist and squeezes just that bit too hard, making Sheldon yelp again. Over in the tiny kitchenette Raj is laughing his ass off.
“If all your affection is going to be this violent and or cold, Leonard, you can sleep in Koothrappali and Wolowitz’s room from now on.” Sheldon gently disengages him, going an interesting shade of pink that is not entirely attributable to the heaters now overcompensating for the cold night, and kisses his forehead somewhat shyly. “We have a lot of work to catch up on.”
He doesn’t end up being exiled to Howard and Raj’s room.
Howard and Raj leave their beds pushed together.
After two nights of watching each other across the gap and pretending they’re not and accidentally brushing against each other at every possible opportunity and stealing kisses when the other two aren’t looking, Leonard moves his bed next to Sheldon’s while Sheldon is making his bedtime warm milk.
When Sheldon comes to bed, he raises one eyebrow, but the beds stay pushed together, and they find that there’s more to discover on this expedition than they’d initially thought.