Chapter Text
The first thing Steve becomes aware of is pain. It's not in a specific part of his body, it's more an overall sensation that takes up almost all of his mind. He feels like he's floating, like there's no space or time. He can't do anything but exist in the non-place, and it's a condition he distinctly dislikes.
Then his focus shifts to another sensation. It's tiny, almost lost to the overwhelming pain, but it's there nonetheless and Steve latches onto it because it feels good. It's pleasant, it's soft and warm, and somehow he knows it's important that he doesn't lose sight of it, doesn't let it disappear in the suffocating pain. He concentrates on it, tries to understand what it is and where it comes from. The effort it takes him to not lose it distracts him from the pain and it somehow becomes manageable.
Slowly Steve becomes aware of his body. He begins to feel his limbs, the way his chest expands with each breath he takes, the pleasantly cool temperature of the air touching his skin. It's a process, slow but steady, but it allows Steve to take stock of his current condition and eases the afore overwhelming pain to a bearable level. Steve concentrates on the pleasant sensation again and manages to locate it somewhere down his left arm.
It's a hand. Fingers tightly wrapped around his. No, not wrapped around, intertwined. He can feel the warmth where they rest between his own fingers, where the palm touches his and creates the pleasant feeling that he noticed. The grip is loose but firm, a strange mixture that puzzles Steve and sparks his curiosity enough that he tries with all his might to peel open his eyes. It takes longer than he'd like and requires much more strength than he expected, but when the first visual impressions fill his mind, it's of a stark white wall with a table in front of it and a TV mounted in the perfect hight to watch from the bed. He's in a hospital, then, his mind concludes when taking in the smells of strong disinfectant and the sensation of starched sheets against his skin. The question is how he got here, and why.
It's dark, the only light coming from the city outside the windows and the machines around the bed, drawing a meaningless pattern of coloured spots in the semi-darkness of the room. Steve turns his head, slowly and carefully because it hurts and takes so much effort, but he needs to see who is responsible for the pleasant feeling that helped him out of the world of pain.
The first thing he can make out in the dimness is the arm attached to the hand holding his. He follows it and sees a shock of dark hair on the bed next to his hip, where a head is resting on the arm that's not outstretched to hold Steve's hand. The neck is awkwardly crooked because the man is slouched on a plastic chair that's pulled close to the bed. There's a jacket carelessly slung over the back of the chair, as if he's been here a while and wanted to get more comfortable.
Steve recognises Tony immediately, and it leaves him baffled. Tony is at his side in the hospital - and obviously has been for some time by the looks of it - and he's holding Steve's hand in a grip that hasn't really loosened even in sleep, as if he's afraid Steve might disappear if he lets go. It doesn't make sense, and Steve wonders again what has happened to put him in this hospital bed. Must have been bad if it makes Tony stay by his side even at night, makes him hold Steve's hand.
Steve's gaze flickers back to where Tony's face is turned towards him. He takes in the short brown hair, tousled as if somebody ran their fingers through it too many times, and the once neatly trimmed goatee that is starting to be undermined by the growth of stubble. Tony is fast asleep, but he doesn't look peaceful. Steve notices the shadows under his eyes and the tight set of his mouth. He looks exhausted and worried, even in sleep.
There's a butterfly bandage over a cut above his eyebrow and some discolouring from a bruise around it. They've been in some kind of fight or battle, then. Steve can't remember who - or what - they've been up against this time, but whatever it was, it must be the reason Steve is hospitalised. It makes his head ache trying to remember, and Steve closes his eyes to counter the pain. He intends to rest his eyes for just a moment, but then the darkness takes him back against his will. Steve concentrates on the feeling of Tony's fingers between his again when he feels himself slip back into unconsciousness, and the pain isn't quite so bad anymore.