Chapter Text
Shiro was never one to be known for sleeping well. Ever since he was young, there was always some sort of problem- it never really went away. It seemed to always come back stronger every year. When he was a kid he was too anxious to sleep. When he was a teen, he had insomnia. He’d finally gotten it under control before he went on the Kerberos trip, but then the Galra captured them. That’s what started the nightmares, and they never fully went away. They dwindled down with time but never stopped.
Then they made it back to Earth, and Coran prepared him some strange concoction to help him sleep throughout the night.
As much as he tried to listen to Coran’s explanation, he only remembered some of it. That the flavor would be different until they found one Shiro favored, and that there might be some side effects. One of those was sleepwalking, but Shiro didn’t mind. At least he would get to sleep.
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A yawn escaped from Shiro’s lips as he walked back to his room in the Atlas. Everyone had been moved into the living quarters of the huge ship. He stepped into his room, knowing that if he didn’t take his potion, he would once again wake up to another nightmare. He grabbed the small capsule, flicking it open, downing the content in one gulp. He contemplated for a minute on the taste. Ah. It was strawberry flavored this week- Coran must have asked Lance or Pidge for a taste that humans enjoyed… Probably Lance. Pidge would have chosen coffee, knowing her.
He felt the weight of sleep on his shoulders, his eyes going lidded. He moved to his bed, tugging off his clothes, changing into a pair of grey sweatpants and a loose white tank top. He crawled underneath the covers, sending his prosthetic arm through the air to click off the light switch, knowing it would return on its own.
Sleep came fast this time. Exhaustion from the day lulling him into an unconscious state faster than normal.
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Once again, Lance found himself shivering. It was… hard to sleep. Ever since the fight when he got hit by radiation waves and, well, temporarily died he just can’t seem to drift off. He huffed in annoyance, not wanting to get up and change into anything besides the soft blue boxers he currently wore. He decided not to get up, to suffer through it, groaning wearily to himself.
Blue eyes fluttered closed, as he began to fall asleep.
...Well until he heard his door open.
Panic raced through his mind as he jerked up, eyes settling on a large figure in the door. He reached for his Bayard, as the figure stepped forward.
Oh.
It was Shiro.
He let go of his Bayard, sighing in relief. “Shiro, what are you doing here? It’s late... You should be asleep.“
But, he got no response. Shiro continued to walk closer, his footsteps soft on the cool metal floor. Lance noticed quickly that Shiro’s eyes were closed, was he sleepwalking? Shiro kept walking forward, quickly arriving at the bed where Lance sat. He started to crawl in, leaving Lance in a state of confused awe. What is Shiro doing?! Does he think this is his room?
The older man crawled into the bed behind Lance, their close proximity bringing a bright flush to the younger man’s cheeks, freckles standing out beautifully in the soft glow from Shiro’s new arm. “Shiro?” He breathed softly, feeling Shiro’s arms start to snake around his waist. He felt a warm smooth hand grip his wrist- Shiro’s new arm.
Lance was yanked back, flush against Shiro’s chest, his back instantly warming against the other’s large body. Holy crow he’s so warm. Lance knew, somewhere deep inside his mind, that this was wrong. Shiro probably thought he was with someone else, and yet there Lance was not waking him up or making him leave.
Lance shoved his guilt down to the deepest recesses of his mind, letting the warmth consume him instead. He curled up, feeling the rise and fall of Shiro’s chest against him. He tried to stay awake, to enjoy this moment longer, but soon felt the heavy drag of sleep creeping through his mind. His eyes fluttered closed, and he finally gave in to his desire to sleep with his hero snuggled behind him.
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Shiro’s mind started to wake up, focusing on the fact he was holding something soft in his hands. The scent of strawberries and oranges filling his senses, maybe he spilled some of his potions on his pillow. That didn’t explain why the pillow was so soft, though. He rubbed his hand against it, feeling the velvety softness underneath his fingers.
His mind didn’t recognize the small sound that drifted up, thinking it was just delirium from still waking up from a good night’s sleep. He sat up, yawning softly. Even with the potion, he’d never been this well rested before. His eyes blinked open, looking around. Huh- this isn’t my room passed through his head as he blinked. He felt well-rested… it had been a while since he had felt this well rested.
...Then he heard the small groan.
He blinked in confusion, startling when fingers gripped the front of his shirt. His eyes widened as he was yanked back to his previous position.
“M’stay... warm-“ a soft voice spoke.
Shiro knew immediately who was in his arms, his cheeks heating up. He checked anyway, not surprised to see the freckled shoulder and a map of small scars along the boy’s back. Nor was he surprised to see brown hair, slightly curled from not being straightened yet.
Lance.
It was Lance. The same man who Shiro refused to admit he found himself attracted to, without the other even trying. And now, here Lance was, curled up against Shiro, telling him to stay.
Shiro tried to move away, wanting to do the right thing. But found Lance’s grip tight on his arms, both real and alien, clinging tightly around them like a koala.
“Lance I’m sorry I didn’t-“
“You were sleepwalking,“ Lance began softly, then yawned. He pressed himself back further, rubbing his back against Shiro’s chest, chasing warmth he now knew to be there. “It’s fine.”
“Why didn’t you-“
“Shhhhh, it’s sleep time now,“ he ordered, bringing a hand behind him, to gently touch Shiro’s lips and press them closed. He then shivered, curling up deeper into Shiro’s forced embrace.
“Are you cold?” Shiro asked, but getting no response. All he got was another shiver and a small noise from the younger paladin… he was cold. Shiro brought his human hand to Lance’s stomach, his palm warm against Lance’s smooth skin. The only imperfections on his skin were his scars, but even those looked beautiful on him. “You are, aren’t you? You could ask Coran to turn up the heat you know.”
Lance groaned, turning in his arms to face Shiro. He didn’t respond in words, instead wrapping his arms around Shiro’s waist and burying his face in his chest. He continued to shiver, goosebumps raising along his arms and legs. Shiro watched as Lance curled into him. He brought a warm hand up to Lance’s back, his Altean hand, and gently rubbed his thumb against Lance’s hip. He didn’t notice what the Altean hand was doing, too busy watching the man curled against him.
“Lance?”
“Shhhhhhh.“ came from in between his pecs. Lance clearly didn’t intend to move. “Just a little more time, please…”
Lance’s voice sounded… different. It sounded shy, vulnerable. Shiro had only heard his voice sound like that a few times, only when Lance was missing home, or when he overheard Lance talking to the mice. It was the clone then, but he still had those memories. He remembered confiding in Lance when he was feeling lost- it was hard to think about. It made him feel guilty because of all the pain he put Lance through. He had taken the perfect ray of pure sunshine and dwindled it down to a sun blocked by clouds. Lance hadn’t seemed happy since then- maybe even before that.
And yet, there Lance was, curled up in the arms of the man whose clone had yelled at and hurt him. Shiro sighed softly, the body curled against him flinching. “Lance?” Shiro breathed out softly, worry coursing through his veins.
“I-I’m Sorry.“ Lance sighed, quickly pulling away. He crawled out of the bed, seeming a bit frazzled. He quickly picked up his robe, sliding it on, and hiding as best he could. “I-I need to- to go do something…else.” He forced out, then rushed out the door.
Shiro tried to stop him, arm up and calling out his name. But, it fell on deaf ears. The door closed with a whoosh, leaving Shiro sitting alone in a bed that was not his own, smelling of strawberries and oranges.
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It had been a few days since the incident where Shiro found himself in Lance’s room. That day he had asked Coran to keep going with the strawberry flavor on his potion. Since then, he had been downright avoided by the shorter paladin. He tried to go and talk to Lance, but found that his door was now locked during the nights… Shiro could read a situation. It was clear Lance didn’t like what happened and was now regretting it.
Yet there Shiro was, standing outside Lance’s door. He knocked on it, hoping to get a response. “Lance- It’s Shiro. Can I come in?”
No response.
“I’m sorry about what happened a few days ago. I can tell you didn’t want that and are now regretting you let it happen but I want to talk to you.”
There was the sound of moving from inside the room. Soft footsteps getting closer.
…
……
………
“I didn’t regret it-” a soft voice breathed against the closed door, Shiro barely hearing, entirely glad he did. “That’s the problem- that I didn’t.”
“Lance what are you talking ab-”
The door then whooshed open. Lance stood in the door, dark circles under his eyes, hair unbrushed and seeming like a mess, the only thing he wore a large shirt which fell off his shoulder and black underwear. Shiro couldn’t help but flush at how Lance looked. Why did he have to be so adorable?
“I… I don’t know why but I-I haven’t been able to sleep since and I’m really confused about everything right now…”
Shiro smiled sadly, reaching forwards and putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, Lance nodding quickly. “Come on- let’s go sit down.”
Shiro led Lance back into his room, finding papers all around, sketches and drawings on them all. Lance noticed Shiro’s wandering eyes, grimacing. “S-Sorry it’s such a mess-” Lance stuttered out, moving to go quickly pick up some of the drawings. Shiro didn’t notice his Altean arm going over and grabbing Lance before he could. The arm dragged Lance to the bed, sitting him down. Shiro looked down to the drawings, seeing a few sketches of him. He couldn’t help how his face grew slightly warm. “S-Shiro-” Lance stuttered out, Shiro’s arm still on him, keeping him on the bed.
Shiro looked over, embarrassment going through him. He called his arm back, it floating back. “Sorry- it has a mind of its own sometimes…”
Lance shivered, wrapping his arms around himself. Shiro frowned, sitting next to him. He was about to say something about how Lance kept shivering when he instead decided to act on it. He pulled off his jacket, wrapping it around Lance’s shoulders. He didn’t miss the small yet adorable squeak that came from Lance, but he just fixed the jacket so it fit better.
“T-Thank you-” Lance said, Shiro finally looking up into Lance’s eyes. They seemed to sparkle as they looked up to him. Shiro took the moment to take in Lance’s appearance. His hair was curled in a halo of sorts, thrown all about his face. His skin was kissed by the sun with soft freckles along his shoulders and cheeks. However he looked adorable, he also looked absolutely tired. Shiro recalled how Lance had said he hadn’t been sleeping well since he left.
“So why are you confused?” Shiro asked, deciding to get to the point so they could finish up so Lance could rest… he needed it.
“I-It’s just that… my brain won’t stop thinking and I can’t sleep because just so much is going on in there and I feel like I’m not even myself and- oh crow you don’t think I’m a clone do you?!” Lance screeched in a panic, pointing to himself.
Shiro couldn’t help the small chuckle that fell from his lips. “Lance you aren’t a clone… but I understand it’s hard to question yourself.”
“I...Is it normal to like guys and girls?” Lance started. Shiro was about to say yes when Lance continued on. “Because I-I don’t know what’s going on because my brain is just being hormonal or something and I don’t know if it’s a phase or just me being confused and trying to find myself but I’m really worried because what if this isn’t normal and I’m messed up or- It’s just my brain being hormonal- forget I said anything!” Lance got out all in one breath, then hiding his face. Shiro blinked, taken aback by how much Lance was thinking about this.
“Lance it’s normal. Plenty of people like both guys and girls.”
Lance took in a shaky breath, then letting it out. “I just- I don’t know why my brain is acting like this I-It all started happening after you came here that night and then I… I started thinking about how it felt so nice to be in your arms and- No straight person thinks like that!”
Shiro put a strong hand on his shoulders, Lance flinching slightly, looking down in shame. “Lance. Look at me-” Shiro began, Lance not doing so. Shiro reached over with his hand, gently tilting Lance’s face up. The boy looked up to him with big eyes, cheeks slowly getting red. “You don’t need to figure this all out today, but what you do need to do is sleep. It’s not healthy to be awake this long.”
Lance gulped, cheeks getting more red. “I-I guess…” he looked away again, Shiro not letting go of his chin. “I-It’s just hard to fall asleep… I keep trying but nothing is working.”
“Do you want me to stay?” Shiro asked, brushing some of Lance’s hair out of his face. He noticed the boy’s face get more red as he nodded a bunch, hearing a whisper of a yes come from his pink lips. “Okay. I’ll stay.”
Lance couldn’t help how he leaned into Shiro’s warm hand against his cheek. His eyes fluttered closed as he lost himself in the small amount of warmth… it was so nice. “Okay-” He breathed out finally, leaning even more into Shiro’s hand. He heard a small chuckle come from Shiro, then feeling another hand wrap around him.
Shiro helped Lance lay down, pulling the blanket over him. Nevertheless, Lance shivered, still a bit too cold for his liking. Shiro looked to him, frowning. “Do you want me to join you?” Shiro asked.
There wasn’t a response for a little while.
Then a barely noticeable nod, Lance grabbing onto Shiro’s shirt, tugging him down. He still wore Shiro’s jacket around him, using his free hand to hold it close, hiding his face in the collar of it. Shiro moved a bit closer, wrapping an arm around Lance’s weight, nose brushing against the nape of his neck.
If this is a dream never let me wake up Lance thought to himself. He let himself curl back against Shiro, humming softly. His eyes fluttered closed as he found himself getting more and more tired. He felt Shiro’s lips brush against his neck, shivering at that, face burning… he didn’t mind it. In fact, he actually kind of liked it…
Lance quickly fell asleep, leaving Shiro to hear his breaths even out, gently rubbing Lance’s sides to try and keep him warm and asleep.
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They continued this ritual for a few days. Shiro would come over to Lance’s room, get into bed, and then they would both go to sleep. Shiro had found he didn’t need to take the medication anymore to stay asleep, having Lance in his arms being enough. He still took it, just in case… Also because it tasted like strawberries and well… Lance himself.
Nothing had happened to interrupt their sleep until about 4 days in.
Lance had a nightmare.
A broken scream ripped through the boy’s lips as he sat up fast, covered in a cold sweat, tears falling down his cheeks. Shiro moved fast from his light sleep, sitting up, pulling Lance close. “It’s okay- Lance it’s okay- what happened?” Shiro asked, watching as Lance kept feeling at a spot in his stomach.
“B-Bad dream-” Lance breathed, trembling. Tears fell down his face as he tried to keep himself calm. Shiro noticed the tears quickly, reaching forwards and trying to wipe them away.
“What happened?” Shiro asked, wiping the tears away with his thumbs, caressing Lance’s face.
“Y-You were h-here and- and then your eyes started glowing and y-you started yelling at me and I-I couldn’t- and you-” He clenched his shirt on his chest, trying to slow down his breathing.
Shiro could read between the lies.
Lance had a nightmare about Shiro hurting him.
“Lance- Lance look at me. I won’t ever do anything like that. I would rather die than hurt you again-” Shiro comforted softly, moving slightly closer.
“I-I k-know-” Lance managed to get out, then hiccuping. “I know y-you wouldn’t-” Lance grabbed onto Shiro’s shirt, hands gripping at it like a lifeline. “I know-”
Shiro brought a hand to Lance’s side, moving it up and down, comfortingly rubbing it. He had found it helped Lance calm down whenever he was too awake to fall asleep. After a little while, Lance seemed to relax, tears stopping, breathing going to a steadier pace. “Do you feel a bit better now?” Shiro asked, hand stopping it’s moving, resting on Lance’s hip, rubbing circles into the bone with his thumb.
Lance nodded, nose wrinkling as he sniffled. “Y-Yeah-” Lance said softly, tone almost like he was sharing a secret. “Yeah, I do…”
Shiro smiled slightly at that. “I’m glad to hear it.”
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It went on for another month, the whole team noticing how both of them seemed to be more… well, to say it simply, awake. They both were filled to the brim with energy, never losing it when they fought. There were whispers going around about Shiro secretly training the new Red paladin to fight, which is why he fought with so much energy. Shiro found those whispers amusing and joked about it with Lance when they went to bed. He said that Lance was stealing his fighting techniques while they slept and the boy chuckled tiredly and just told him to “go to sleep” and “stop ruining his evil plans.”
It even got to a point where Keith got intrigued. He noticed how Lance and Shiro were getting closer and closer as time went on, and was quite confused about it.
So confused he went up to Shiro and blocked the exit.
“Are you sleeping with Lance?” He asked bluntly. Shiro didn’t find the words in him to say yes, so he just nodded. Keith’s jaw dropped as he looked at Shiro with a completely in angry look. “You’re having sex with Lance?!”
Shiro’s jaw basically dropped. “Wait no! We’re not- Keith we are just-“
“I know you have a crush on him but you just fucked him out of nowhere?! Shiro are you kidding?!”
Shiro’s cheeks grew warmer as he faltered. “Keith we aren’t having sex and we aren’t dating.”
A solid second of silence went by.
“Then why did you say you were sleeping with him?”
“That’s all we’re doing. Sleeping Keith.”
Another few seconds of silence. Keith then relaxed, wiping the sweat off his forehead. “Good. I don’t think I could think of you and Lance having sex- that’s- just no.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s weird to think you having sex with Lance? I don’t know.” Keith unblocked the door, Shiro frowning at him slightly.
“I don’t know why it would concern you in the first place. If I was having sex with him.”
Keith glared slightly at him. “It would concern me because firstly you didn’t tell me, and secondly Lance is- he’s my right hand. I don’t want him breaking down on the battlefield if you weren’t delicate enough with him. He’s a good fighter and we need him at his best.”
Shiro raised an eyebrow. “Delicate? Keith you underestimate him. I think he has more walls up then you do. He… He doesn’t let his feelings affect his fighting. Everything else, yeah, but never his fighting. You should know that, which is why I think there is another reason.”
Keith frowned, looking away. “Look. I just don’t want either of you getting hurt. You’re my best friend and Lance is… look if you hurt Lance you are dead.”
Shiro blinked. Oh. He almost forgot Keith had a thing for Lance when they first got into all this. He had always assumed it went away since Keith left for the Blade of Marmora. “Do you like him still?”
Keith didn’t look at him. Another wave of silence passed through the room, the only sound Keith sighing. “Don’t hurt him Shiro.”
With that Keith left the room.