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Brock is pressing Steve’s back against the wall, fingers digging deep into Steve’s hip, when he growls in Steve’s ear, “I really wanna hurt you, Cap.”
Steve leans his head back to look at him. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Brock says, not sure if he trusts the answer.
“It’ll heal,” Steve says with a shrug. Pain had never been his cup of tea, but it wasn’t like Brock could do him real damage. And it was nice to have someone on the team who didn’t look at him with all that history book reverence. It’s probably the main reason he always ended up at Brock’s apartment after a tough mission: no comforting words or pitying looks, just raw, rough actions.
Brock grins at the yes, predatory, “Willing to play the whore for me, huh?”
Figures Rumlow would find it sexy to talk like this. “I can take anything you can dish out,” Steve says, pushing him lightly toward the bedroom.
Brock laughs and says, “We’ll see.”
--
“Thanks,” Brock said, voice low. He was staring at the key he’s using to open his door, clearly avoiding Steve’s gaze. “You know, for today.”
For rescuing Brock from his captors right before they were about to start torturing him.
Steve could tell that Brock didn’t want to say it. He could say thank you easily for a beer or ammo, but this thank you was an admission that he needed help. It was almost like admitting he had been scared. Which Brock would never, ever admit, Steve knew.
“Just the job, no problem,” Steve said, clapping him on the shoulder.
Brock smiled, grateful to have avoided a ‘moment,’ and walked into his apartment, with Steve following.
“I can think of a different job I’d like you to do,” Brock said after he closed the door, waggling an eyebrow.
“I see why you always ask me here, Rumlow. You think that since I’m from the 40’s I won’t notice how cheesy your lines are.”
“My lines aren’t cheesy.”
“I’m old, not stupid.”
“It’s possible to be both,” Brock said, head tilted, and both men laughed.
Brock said then, “I, uh, picked up something. Acquired it from SHIELD research. We can use it.”
“You stole something, in other words.”
“I’ll give it back. Probably. Wanna see?” Brock grinned.
“Sure. But I really hope that SHIELD isn’t producing sex toys.”
“Anything can be a sex toy if you know what you’re doing.”
“I’m shocked to hear you say something cocky.”
Brock pulled two cuffs out of a drawer. “They’re magnetic. They can probably hold you. Wanna test it?” He leered at Steve, who had to smile at his enthusiasm.
Steve shrugged. “What the hell.”
An hour later, Brock released the magnetic cuffs, looking very pleased with himself (and pleased in general). Steve hadn’t really put his full strength into breaking the cuffs’ hold, but he didn’t want to ruin Brock’s fun; he was clearly proud that he had managed to give Steve a ‘real’ bondage experience.
Brock swiped his thumb across Steve’s lips, wiping off the white seed.
“So you really don’t mind that I just acted out my fantasy of dirtying up good, clean Captain America, huh?”
“I get the impression you’d dirty up anyone stupid enough to fuck you,” Steve said. He knew how to do the talk of soldiers, the talk of oneupsmanship and ball busting, and he knew that Brock was incapable of talking any other way.
“So you admit you’re stupid,” Brock said with a smirk.
“Wouldn’t be here otherwise.”
Brock just grinned.
--
“Can I use it?” Brock said, holding up the Taser.
“I guess.”
“What will it feel like?”
“Hurts the same as it would for anyone. But I’ll recover right away.”
Brock seemed to like the answer, and Steve wasn’t sure which part.
“Why do you like doing this?” Steve said.
“Lots of people do this, Cap. Thought you understood this century.”
It was a low blow, and Steve knew that meant that Brock didn’t like the question.
“They did this in my century too. But different people have different reasons. What’s yours?”
Brock paused. “Order comes from pain. It can be my pain or the other guys’ pain, but it always comes from pain.”
“You really believe that.”
“Fuck yes.”
“Okay.”
“So. Taser?”
Steve nodded, and Brock shoved the device in his ribs. Steve did his best not to wince.
Brock stepped closer, whispered in his ear, “I cannot believe the things you let me do to you.”
“Only as long as you make it worth my while later,” Steve said, defiance in his voice.
“Don’t worry, Cap. I’ve always got an endgame.”
--
Steve was silent as he woke, sweat dripping down his hair and neck.
Brock woke up anyway.
“What’s up, Cap?” he asked, voice groggy.
“Nothing.” Steve rolled over to face the other direction.
There was a long silence. Steve hoped that Brock had gone back to sleep.
But then he said, “Happens to us all, Cap.” Brock sounded reluctant almost, as if he’d rather be doing anything else.
“What’s that?”
“Past coming up to bite us in our sleep. It has to reach a little farther for you, I figure. But we all get smacked around by our own heads sometimes.” He sounded uncertain, like maybe he shouldn’t be sharing this.
Steve turned back. He didn’t want to, but it was the closest to soft he’d ever seen Brock.
“Thanks.”
“Barnes, huh?” There was a pained look on Brock’s face.
“What?” Steve said.
“You said ‘Bucky’ right before you woke.”
“I – I watched him fall.”
“I know.”
“You know?”
“Yeah. I passed high school history. I know who Bucky Barnes is.” Brock looked tense, nervous almost. He was watching Steve closely.
Steve just nodded. “He’s worth remembering.”
“Sure,” Brock said. After a pause, he added, “Try and get some sleep, Cap.”
“Yeah.” Steve closed his eyes, mostly because he didn’t want to talk any more.
He was surprised when he felt Brock move closer, sling an arm around Steve’s waist. He hadn’t figured Brock for the comforting sort. But then he had suspected for a while that Brock returned at least some of his feelings.
It was nice to have a little bit of proof.
--
“This isn’t personal.”
He doesn’t know why Brock says it – if Brock is trying to tell him that not everything was fake, or if Brock is just trying to fuck with his head to give him an edge.
At this point, Steve doesn’t care.
“It kind of feels personal.”
--
Brock is in a former SHIELD medical unit, now taken over by the military. Steve is visiting the SHIELD agents injured fighting HYDRA, and he realizes that Brock is there, suffering from burns and other injuries.
He doesn’t want to see him. But somehow he finds himself standing in the doorway to his room, looking at the injured man chained to the bed.
Brocks notices a presence, looks over. Steve can tell that even turning his head is painful.
Brock looks him in the eye, then turns away. He doesn’t say anything.
Steve leaves. He tells himself that if there were regret in Brock’s eyes, it was probably just for losing the battle.
Looking back on their relationship, he thinks that it couldn’t be anything else.