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“I’m not obligated to be nice at three in the morning!” You hissed when Cas pointed your foul mood out to you.
You had been hunting all weekend and your Christmas had been ruined. You hadn’t had time to do any Christmas shopping for your angel or the Winchester brothers. The Bunker hadn’t been decorated the way you had wanted it too, nor had you had the option to make them the Christmas dinner you wanted.
You had wanted this year to be special. The Bunker was your home and Christmas was the perfect time to really make it feel that way. More importantly you had each other. You were a family and to you that was what Christmas was all about.
Your boyfriend weren’t human or even remotely ordinary, but you didn’t care about that. You didn’t care that your brothers weren’t your brothers by blood. The two Winchesters and the angel were your family and they were all you were ever going to need.
It wasn’t just that you had wanted to show them how important they were to you. You wanted to remind them of the magic of Christmas. To the brothers magic meant evil or a means to an end, but to you the word meant so much more. Christmas was magical to you. The smells of candlelights, evergreen and home cooked meals. It was the excitement and joy to see what was under the tree. It was childhood memories. It was memories of a world where your parents were still alive and where you didn’t know about the darkness lurking in the corners.
Christmas used remind you of all the things that could have been, but this year you had seen it as more of a promise of the days to come. To you Christmas had always been magical.
Before you had met the brothers and your angel, you had been alone. You had felt alone. You had still celebrated Christmas with a tree and home cooking. You had sat on the couch on your own watching your favourite Christmas movies and dreamt of the days where your parents had been on a couch with you.
Christmas meant memories to you, but unlike Sam and Dean, you loved the Holiday for the memories. You loved them and you loved Castiel. This year you had wanted them to share your love of this magical season with you. You had wanted to show them how important they were to you and that together you could make new memories. Together you could be the family you had missed since you were ten. They would never make up for the family you had lost to demons so long ago. The darkness that had invaded your life almost 20s ago, was never going to go away, but somehow that no longer matter. It hadn’t mattered since you had moved into the Bunker. It hadn’t mattered since the day you first laid eyes on your blue eyed Angel.
Having missed the chance of your first real Christmas in 20 years hadn’t been easy to accept. You had been quiet and moody on the way home in the car, because of it. The Winchesters had noticed for sure, but they had kept quiet about it. Passing Cas in the hallway without a hug or a kiss was not usual for you either. You had just told him you were tired and needed to sleep. After having showered the smell of the hunt off your body, you had fallen face first into your bed, crying yourself asleep. You had cried over the loss of your family, but also over the truth that you had tried so hard to forget. You weren’t normal. You were never gonna be normal. Real happiness and Christmas just weren’t meant for you. All you got was darkness and a few stolen moments of smiles in between evil crap. This was your life.
The hunt, your tears and dismay hadn’t helped your mood when Cas had showed in your room in the middle of the night with a little half smile on his face. You weren’t sure how but he had managed to convince you to get out of bed and follow him into the kitchen.
You were still asleep when you were trailing behind him, scolding him and throwing one insult after the other at the angel. Cas just tilted his head and gave you his best puppy dog eyes.
“You could be nicer, Y/N.” Cas reminded you, which immediately made you frown and hiss at him.
“I’m not obligated to be nice at three in the morning!” You hissed, when Cas pointed your foul mood out to you.
“Y/N it is not 3 am on any morning. It is Christmas morning. You have been looking forward to this day for as long as I have known you.” Castiel spoke softly and you had to fight your tears. He didn’t need to remind you of that. You felt the loss of the dream you had lost in every nerve of your body. You were tense and tired and his voice was almost enough to make you break down crying right before him.
“Yeah not really the way I envisioned it Cas,” You mumbled and you instantly felt Cas’ grace envelope you before his arms followed. You buried your face in his chest and let his warmth and love calm and soothe you. No matter how much the world sucked. No matter how many people you had lost on a hunt or how broken you felt, Cas’ warmth and love always made you feel better. He was your home and your safety.
“I am I what you envisioned?” Cas spoke softly against your hair and your eyes immediately flew up to meet his.
“Cas…” You started to apologize. You had never wanted to hurt him or think you wanted anything other than this life. That you wanted anyone other than him. Nothing could be further from the truth The thought of him not knowing that broke you more than missing a stupid holiday ever would.
“Just answer the question Y/N.” Cas smiled at you, gently brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “When you envisioned your life when you were younger, did you picture me? An Angel of the Lord?”
“No but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I never loved anyone as much as I love you Cas. I…” You rambled desperate to make him understand. So wrapped up in guilt, you didn’t even notice the smile in his eyes. You didn’t stop talking until his kiss muted you.
“I know Y/N. That is what I meant. Things often turn out contrary to how we intend them to be. That doesn’t mean that the results have to be bad.“ You felt as he stared right into your soul as he spoke softly. Explaining to you what you deep down already knew. Still after the day you had you still needed comfort so rather than answering you just threw your arms around his neck and let him hold you.
You felt his grace all the way to your soul and his arms locked around your physical body. No one was able to calm you the way he was. No one had ever made you feel this loved.
“Okay Cas,” you said when you finally managed to convince yourself to pull back. “What did you do?”
Cas smiled so brightly, you couldn’t help but return it. You would never stop being amazed by the lengths he would go to make you happy. Even though Cas no longer had his wings he had never hesitated to get in his car while you slept and drive for 3 hours just to get your favourite food from your favourite dinner just to spend 3 hours driving back. Then two hours in the kitchen trying to figure out how to heat it without wrecking the kitchen and pissing Dean off in the process.
He listened to you and watched you. He always seemed to know just what you needed, even when you didn’t yourself. This life might not have been what you wanted growing up, but today who couldn’t be happier. Even when hunts ruined your plans, you still had Cas. He still made you happier than you had ever been. He truly was your Angel.
“See for yourself,” Cas beamed pushing the door to the kitchen open and your jaw dropped. The kitchen was fully decorated with the ornaments you had bought. A perfect little Christmas tree was placed in the corner and under it was three clumsy wrapped gifts. The tree was crooked and the ornaments look as if they were going to fall of the ceiling any minute, but none of that mattered. What mattered was the men that had defied sleep to do this for you. To make you happy and remind you, you really did have family. What mattered was the Angel at your side, that had convinced them to do this for you. The Angel that you loved more than anything else in this world.
The table was filled with food. Sausages, bacon, eggs, pancakes and pie. Candles lit up the entire room and made the two Winchester brothers look almost as angelic as the one besides you.
“You did all of this while I slept?” You looked up at Cas who was smiling down at you.
“We did.” Cas explained, “I got the tree and Sam decorated the kitchen and Dean cooked.”
“Come on in Y/N/N,” Dean grabbed your hand and dragged you into the room, leading you to the chair Sam pulled out for you.
“Eat first. Then presents,” Dean ordered with a smile and a wink. You felt your tears starting to build behind your eyes as you looked from Winchester to Winchester and then back to Cas.
“I… I didn’t have time to get you anything,” you mumbled and looked down at the plate before you.
“That’s not true Y/N,” Sam interrupted your self blame. “You gave me that cataloging system for my laptop. Without it I wouldn’t have gotten half the stuff in this place organized yet.”
“You gave me new headphones last month after someone put the old ones in the washing machine,” Dean sent Cas a playful glare and the angel’s eyes flicker to the table for a few seconds before finding yours.
“You gave me a computer and taught me how to use it,” Cas smiled at you.
You gazed back and forth between the two men and your angel. “But that weren’t christmas presents that was….”
“You taking care of us,” Dean interrupted.
“You do so much for us Y/N. When Cas let us know just how much you were hurting, we all wanted to do this for you.” Sam explained and a smile started to spread across your face.
“I know this is not the Christmas you wanted Y/N,” Cas spoke softly, but before he could say another word you were off your chair and your arms were around his neck. You pressed your lips against his, taking him completely by surprise. You felt his arms wrap around you as he invaded all of your senses. For a moment you no longer cared about Christmas or the Winchesters in the room. All that mattered, all that would ever matter was Cas.
“It’s perfect,” You beamed as you broked the kiss, hugging first Sam and then Dean. “Who cares how everyone else does Christmas. We are a family. We’ll do it our way and it will always be perfect.”