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At 6:00 am, Morpheus released her from his arms. He’d wanted her to stay longer and tried to convince her that the beeping of her alarm was just the chirping of the nightingale, but even dreaming Cassandra knew she had an important day wanted to get an early start. She practiced what she was going to say, the bargain she was going to make, and felt butterflies in her stomach.
She rolled out of bed and pulled her hair into an untidy ponytail. Just something to keep it out of her face when she ran. She yanked her shoes on and headed out the door to run four miles along the beach.
About a half hour later, she returned home to see that her mother had made her favorite banana and chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. A short stack sat by Cassandra’s seat at the table with a half banana smile and strawberries for eyes. Nothing had changed since she was a kid.
“Happy birthday, sweetie!” Noel gave Cassandra a big hug as she sat down at the table.
Castor put down his paper and wished her the same. “What time do you want to get to the ferry?”
“The sooner the better. It’s a long way.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay here? Watch a movie and give each other pedicures?” Noel tried to make it sound tempting, and Cassandra smiled. She knew her mom was trying. Noel was having a hard time letting go. Years ago, she had thought she would lose her daughter to the Fates. Noel was still getting used to the idea that Cassandra would be around for a while. But as soon as Noel relaxed and stopped fearing Cassandra would be taken away from her, Cassandra started applying to colleges, like any high school senior, and getting ready to leave.
“Some other time, Mom. I promise.”
After a shower, Cassandra towel dried her hair and automatically reached back to put it in its customary braid. When she’d finished, a thick rope of hair snaked over her shoulder and hung by her boxy waist.
She frowned at her figure in the mirror. It had been over three years since Orion had kissed her, and she still looked like she had barely hit puberty. Her growth had been stunted by the Fates, like a flower that had wilted from lack of sun. Childish, or worse, boyish. It’s true there had been some, er... developments since the Fates had decided to leave her alone. Her hips stuck out slightly from her strait waist, her butt had a pleasant roundness to it, and an A cup no longer hung empty on her chest, but she still felt like a child.
Her parents drove her to the ferry terminus and hugged her goodbye.
“Call if you want us to come sooner and get you,” Noel insisted. “If not, we’ll see you here on Monday evening.”
Cassandra nodded and tried to squirm out of her mother’s hug. Freedom was so close that she could taste it.
Her father clapped her on the back and gave her a small box. “It’s just a little something.”
Cassandra smiled. “What is it?”
“Open it up!”
It was a silver charm bracelet with a beautiful ruby heart charm. “It was your aunt’s. I think she’d want you to have it.”
“Thank you.” Cassandra hugged her father and out the bracelet on her wrist next to the kitty bells that Orion had made for her.
“Happy birthday, Cassandra.”
Ariadne was waiting for her in Hyannis, practically bouncing up and down as Cassandra made her way over to her. She threw her arms around Cassandra’s neck and squealed “I’m so excited you’re here! We’re going to have such a good time! What do you want to do first?”
“First can we head to your place?” Cassandra gestured to her backpack that was almost large enough for her to crawl into. “I’m dying to get this thing off my back.”
“Of course!”
“Are you sure it’s okay that I’m staying with you? I know you have the MCATs to study for.”
Ariadne rolled her eyes. “I told you a million times, yes! Unless there is someone you’d rather stay with,” she added suggestively.
Cassandra looked glum. “I don’t think so, Ari. I mean, yeah, but he doesn’t see me like that. Besides, Lucas would freak.”
“You at least invited him tonight, right?”
Cassandra nodded. Of course she did. If nothing else, he owed her a favor.
Ariadne nudged her cousin. “Good. Maybe Lucas needs to freak a little.”
On the long drive to Ariadne’s Boston apartment, Ariadne filled Cassandra in on all the gossip. Jason’s massage therapy business was going well, but it made Claire irrationally jealous. Hector was just finishing up his gig student teaching a class of fifth graders. He had the most hilarious stories of kids with gum in their hair or frogs in their pockets. Andy was finally over her morning sickness. Helen and Lucas didn’t seem to have time for much else other than each other. “They are even more annoying now,” Ariadne groaned. “They worst of the mushy, cute couple stereotypes. Always having to touch each other and finish each other's sentences.”
“What about you? Are you seeing anyone?”
Ariadne shook her head distractedly. “I’m too busy with trying to get into med school to think about that.” She fell silent, and Cassandra knew that she had hit a nerve. Ariadne would never be able to get over Matt. Cassandra wondered why she didn't ask Helen or Orion for help. Maybe Ariadne thought it was better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. Maybe that way was braver.
After dropping off her stuff at Ariadne’s, Cassandra made her cousin take her shopping. “I want something special to wear for tonight, and there aren’t any shops on the island for that sort of thing.”
“What did you have in mind?”
“Something sexy.”
Ariadne’s mouth quirked. “I know just the place.”
A short ride on the T later and Ariadne was leading her cousin into what appeared to be a fetish shop. Cassandra blanched when she saw the mannequins in cone bras and fishnet stockings.
“Uh, 1990s Madonna called. She wants her wardrobe back.” Cassandra’s voice was caught between scandalized and amused.
“What?” Ariadne asked innocently. “You said you wanted something you wouldn’t be able to find on the island. I figured you meant more than a Macy’s or a Victoria’s Secret. Trust me, okay?” She shuffled through a rack of sequined tops looking for something in Cassandra’s size. “You’re lucky, you know. With your physique, you can get away with a lot.”
Cassandra rolled her eyes, envious of Ariadne’s curves. “Right. Lucky.”
“I’m serious, Cass. I’d need two of these to cover me. One for each boob.” Ariadne pushed a top into Cassandra’s hand and made her try it on with a black leather skirt.
“I really don’t think this is me,” she said, tugging at the back of the skirt and adjusting the top. “The sequins itch.”
“Well, what sort of thing are you looking for?”
Cassandra shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe something that won’t make me look like an underage prostitute?”
Eventually, they found the perfect dress. It was black gauze and nearly sheer in some places with a cowl neck that reminded her of a chiton. It was backless and had slits down both legs that went almost up to her waist. A pair of red and black platform heels made her at least four inches taller.
She came out of the dressing room nervously. “Lucas is going to be a jerk about this dress, isn’t he?”
“But Orion is going to love it!”
***
“I want to cut my hair,” Cassandra said during lunch.
Ariadne’s jaw fell open. She quickly brought a napkin to her mouth before pieces of her burrito rolled out. “What? Why?” She reached across the table to touch Cassandra’s long braid. “You have such beautiful hair.”
Cassandra jerked away. “I haven’t cut it in years. I’m not 12 anymore.”
“No one thinks you’re still 12, Cass.”
“I spent 14 years of my life juvenilized and out of control.” She tugged on her braid. “This braid is like a symbol of that.”
Ariadne nodded. “I understand, but I disagree. If you want to cut your hair, I know of a great place around here. How much did you want to take off?”
“All of it.”
***
The hairdresser at Ariadne’s favorite salon was also uneasy to cut Cassandra’s hair. She weighed Cassandra’s braid in her hands. “It seems a waste, you know?”
Cassandra nodded and pulled a gallon-sized baggie from her purse. “Yes. That’s why I’m going to donate it. I’ve thought this through guys. Off with my hair!”
An hour later, Cassandra was sporting a tousled pixie cut with purple streaks in the front.
“Noel is going to kill me. She’ll never let you stay with me again.”
“It was my decision, Ari.”
Ariadne didn’t think that meant her aunt would show her any mercy. “I’m almost afraid to ask what you want to do next.”
“Just for you to do my make-up. Make me look irresistible.”
Ariadne nodded and toyed with Cassandra’s new hair, flicking the purple streaks so they hung over her eyes. “Don’t grow up too fast, Cass.”
***
Finally, it was time for dinner. Ariadne made reservations for them at a posh Mediterranean fusion place in Allston. The rest of the cousins where already waiting for them there, and all of them looked shocked to see Cassandra’s new look.
“Your hair!” Claire exclaimed and tugged on the purple streak. But her face softened as she gave Cassandra a warm hug. “You look great, Cass. Happy birthday!”
Jason, behind Claire, was next to voice his surprise. “Don’t ever let my sister do your hair again,” he joked.
Hector ignored the changes and just made fun of her size, like he always did. “Still so tiny!” He picked Cassandra up in a bear hug.
“It’s just a matter of comparison,” she said once she was on her feet again. “You only think I’m tiny because your wife has gotten so huge!” She rubbed Andy’s round belly affectionately as she said it. “Are you sure you’re not carrying twins?”
Andy’s eyes widened fearfully. “Just one of Hector’s babies is enough for me.”
“Have you found out if it’s a boy or a girl?”
Andy shook her head. “We were hoping you could tell us.”
Cassandra’s expression grew stern but she laughed lightly. “Nah uh. I’m out of that game.”
Hector put an arm around Cassandra. “That’s okay. We’ll just keep calling it Tiresias until we know.”
Andy groaned at her husband’s joke. Cassandra had the feeling she had heard it before.
Lucas and Helen were both still too blissed out to joke about her appearance and just told her that they loved the new look. “Maybe these will go with it.” Lucas pressed a small box in her hands. “Happy birthday, sis.”
“Uh oh. Beware of Greeks bearing gifts,” Andy joked.
Helen quirked her lips sheepishly. “I did what I had to. Will I ever live it down?”
Lucas wrinkled his nose. “Not in this life time. Or probably any other.”
Cassandra pulled out a pair of earrings made of Roman glass laid into silver. They shone every color as she held them up to the light. “They’re beautiful, Luke. Thank you!”
He shrugged humbly. “We found the glass at the site we’re digging in near Ephesus. We took it to a local craftsman. He’s really a genius.”
“I love them!”
Lastly, she saw Orion. He had hung in the back, letting her say hello to her family first. But when no one was left, he stepped forward and gave her a hug. “Happy birthday, Kitty,” he whispered. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too. You haven’t called in a while. I figured you were too busy being a big college guy.” She tried to sound light, but she was insecure. She feared Orion would meet someone else at school—a college girl, smart and mature—and forget all about her.
“I’m never too busy for you.” It sounded like something a brother might say to a sister.
She smiled sadly and wished Orion could see her heart. “I need to talk to you,” she said, trying to put hidden meaning in her words.
He nodded distractedly. “Let’s enjoy dinner. We have time.”
She frowned but nodded.
He sat next to her at dinner at least. But through the meal, every time she tried to touch him, he shied away, shooting an occasional nervous glance at Lucas across from them. Helen looked between Orion and Cassandra with a crease on her brow. She could see Cassandra’s heart, she knew. Embarrassed, Cassandra looked down at her plate, pushing a roasted green pepper into the leftover tzatziki. She’d always hated green peppers.
After dinner Ariadne wanted to go clubbing. “There’s a place I know that won’t hassle us for being underage.” Though she avoided looking at her, Cassandra still felt awkward. She was the only one under 21.
“Or being pregnant, I hope!” Andy put in, taking some pressure off Cassandra.
The club played ‘90s music, songs the rest of them remembered from when they were little. Ariadne, Claire, and Helen would sing along, but Cassandra knew few of the words.
“If you wanna be my lover,” Cassandra chimed in.
“Shut up, you harpies!” Andy said, clapping her hands over her ears.
For the rest of the night, Cassandra tried to get Orion alone, but whenever they danced just the two of them, he pulled Ariadne in.
“Think of how she’d feel—alone, but seeing all the couples dancing together,” Orion said when he noticed Cassandra’s hurt look.
“So we’re a couple then?” she asked, confused and frustrated.
Orion didn’t answer.
A few songs later, and Cassandra headed to the bathroom. Locked behind a stall door, she heard two women come in.
“How many times do I have to take you to pee, Andy?”
“Give me a break! I’m pregnant!”
Through a crack in the stall door, Cassandra saw Claire check her hair in the mirror. “Can you believe the way Cassandra is throwing herself all over Orion?” she heard Claire ask.
“I know! What’s going on with them? I thought they were soul mates or something!”
“I dunno. It looks like he got tired of waiting for her to grow up.”
Cassandra flushed the toilet and walked out of the stall with her head held up high. She washed her hands next to Claire and didn’t even try to hide the fact that she was wiping away tears.
“Cassandra,” Claire said alarmed and contrite. “I’m so sorry.”
“No, you’re right. Bitchy,” she added. “But right. I keep getting mixed messages from him.”
Andy came out of the stall with eyebrows raised. “I hate to tell you, but he looked pretty clear tonight.”
Cassandra shook her head. “He’s not always like that. When he comes to visit, he’s not so cold.” It’s true that when her parents were around, Orion was respectful and kept his hands to himself. But when it was just the two of them, he was always finding a way to touch her and make suggestive comments. Things that would sound sleazy if she repeated them to Claire and Andy but that would make her laugh. Though Orion would always turn away if she’d go in for a kiss.
“Have you two...” Andy trailed off, not feeling right asking about her sex life.
“No. I thought he loved me, but he just thinks I’m a kid.”
Claire smiled sadly and gestured to Cassandra’s clothes and hair. “Is that what all this is about?”
“Not really. I mean, everyone thinks I’m still just a kid. I’m off to Juilliard in the fall, but I’m still just a kid.”
Andy put her arm around Cassandra, her belly too large to give her a real hug. “No one thinks that. I mean, yeah, you’re the youngest, but everyone loved watching you grow up.”
Claire hugged her too. “I know how you feel. Look at me! I’m so short I’m practically an elf. I get it from them too. You just have to tell all the haters to suck eggs. It’s what I told Jason, remember? So go out there and tell Orion to suck eggs.”
Cassandra let herself laugh a little. Andy and Claire gave her one last hug, and she went back out to the dance floor to find Orion. He was dancing with a busty blonde, someone the group didn’t know that he had picked up in the short time Cassandra was in the bathroom. The unknown woman had her hands all over him, but it did look like he was trying to push her away.
When Orion saw Cassandra’s face, he extracted himself from the blonde woman and went over to her. “Cass, what’s wrong?”
“I need to talk to you!”
“What?” he said, pointing to his ear.
She led them to a lounge area off the side of the dance floor that was only marginally quieter. They sat down facing each other, and he took her hands in his. “What is it?”
“You know how I feel about you,” she said, trying to keep the pain from her voice.
“And you know I love you, Kitty.”
“Would you please stop calling me that?” She choked up as she said it. “I’m not a kid anymore.”
“I know,” he said, but he still sounded oblivious. “Isn’t that what this is all about? Your birthday?”
“I’m serious, Orion. I love you, and you treat me like I’m your little sister.”
“No, Cass...” he started, trying to think of a way to explain all the types of love—love for a kid sister, yes, but also a dormant romantic love—could be inside him at once. He was just waiting for her body to catch up with her old-before-its-time mind.
She leaned forward and kissed him.
When their lips touched, she got flashes of memories from the first time they made love before Troy fell. Her knees shook and her blood ran hot. She felt the earth move, and, looking at Orion, she wasn’t sure if that part was just in her head.
“I’m tired of waiting for you to notice that I’ve grown up. I’m tired of you making excuses. I’m tired of Lucas looking like he’s going to kick you in the head again for defiling his sister.”
He stroked her face but said nothing.
“Make love to me.”
He swallowed dryly. “Here...?”
“No, you idiot! Take me back to your place and make love to me. We’ll tell the others we’re going so they won’t worry.”
Orion looked nervous. “Lucas will...”
“I already told you, I’m so over that.”
“But it's not your face he's going to kick. Cass...don’t you think you’re going a little fast? Maybe we should just fall asleep watching a movie.”
“Make love to me,” she repeated. “Or turn my heart so I don’t love you anymore. I told you I’m tired of waiting for you.”
***
“Wait here,” he said, leaving her at the door of his dorm room. He slipped inside and lit candle after candle, slowly bathing the room in an orange glow. Then he returned to her, lifted her up, and carried her across the threshold like a newly married husband would. He placed her delicately on the bed and watched her bemused face as she toyed with the petals strewn over the blankets. “I couldn’t afford roses,” he said apologetically. “It’s just wildflowers. I hoped you wouldn’t mind.”
“Is this all for me?” she asked puzzled. “Or were you just planning on taking anyone home?”
“Well, I’d hoped it would be you. But if you hadn’t been interested, I didn’t want it to go to waste. That blonde girl looked like she might have been fun.”
He had a mischievous smile on his face, and Cassandra smacked his arm. “You pig!”
He laughed. “Of course it’s for you, Cassandra.” He nodded to the small black box on the bed. “That’s for you too. I hope you don’t think it’s too juvenile, but it was my mother’s. I thought you might like it.”
She pulled out a gold locket. The meandros ran along the border of the locket’s oval face, symbolizing eternity. Inside was a picture of her and Orion.
“Do you remember that day? You looked so beautiful.”
She nodded. Her father had taken that picture last summer when Orion had come to hear her play for a concert series on the beach. Her mother did her hair in a sophisticated updo with curls spilling over the sides. She remembered how grown up she felt performing in front of thousands of tourists alongside some of the best musicians in Boston and beyond.
By the time she finished reminiscing about that perfect summer day, Orion was already naked. He knelt by her feet like the perfect supplicant to a grateful goddess. He reached forward, sliding his hand up her arm and around to the back of her neck, and pulled her towards him for another kiss.
“Happy birthday, Kitty.”