Chapter Text
Lately every time he kissed you he felt something coil in the pit of his stomach. It made him feel almost hungry, and his head dizzy. It was a curious development. You would also get this looking in your eyes whenever he kissed you, touched you in innocent ways. That look both enthralled him and frightened him. It made him question if you felt the same stirring in your own groin and the hint of hunger. All in all, he had no idea what was happening. How a simple form of affection that you two shared whenever you had the chance, could make his body reacted and do disgusting things. Then again he knew how… It had all been explained to him.
Savior- or Rika… That’s right her name was Rika. Saeran scolded himself for even mentally calling her his Savior. Had always told him since he was growing into a man, and more so when it became evident he was, in fact, a man, that his body was programmed to want sinful things. That women would cause it to react in a way that he would have to fight. That he mustn't allow the impurity of his own gender overcome his mind, or control him. That he shouldn’t even touch his own body when it was in this state, because it would disgraceful, and make him lust.That he was stronger then his urges, and that he’d have to keep them at bay. That women don’t have these problems. That they didn’t feel the urge of desires that men did. It was important for him to keep a woman innocent and only divulge in them when it came time to make a baby. That woman only shared their bodies for the sake of reproduction. That his body would hurt a woman if he was to lose control. That’s why only men that have made commitments under the watchful eye of God could act on their impulses… So that the next generation could come to be.
Tears pooled in his eyes as he swiftly stepped away from you, and turned around. Ashamed that he wasn’t strong enough; that impure thoughts flooded his mind. That he was exposing you to his demon, his gross and male body. God was he ever disgusting. Saeran looked down at the bulge in his pants. She was right. Rika was absolutely right. This body of his was truly disgusting. Saeran released a shaky breath willing it to just go away. He hated it, hated he was so weak. A god damn airhead. He was going to taint you, and you didn’t need to see the filthy ways his body was reacting to you.
“Saeran?”You breathed and he could hear you take a step forward- toward him. He felt his blood run cold as the impurity in his pants was still evident.
“D-don’t,” Saeran muttered voice thick as a small sob escaped his throat. He cursed himself again for being weak, for letting it show.
“I… Saeran, sweetie what’s wrong?” You asked in a worried tone. Your voice was so soft, and he didn’t deserve you to waste your breath. Your kind words should never be aimed at him. Not when he couldn’t control his body like this, the urges, the desires.
“Just.. give me a moment.” He explained covering his face with this hands, trying so hard to gain control of his body.
“Sae… You know it okay, right?” those words made him freeze. He didn’t know if you knew what was going on with him, and it mortified him that you figured it out. But if you knew… Why weren’t you scared… what would you be telling him it’s okay for him to be like this.
“I… Should have better control of my body,” Saeran stated feeling defeated, and to his surprise, you giggled… “Why are you laughing at me? Shouldn’t you be scared?” He asked turning to see a hint of mischief in your eyes. A hand over your mouth to hide the smile, and muffle you chime like laughter.
“Why would I be scared? It’s flattering you react this way to me.” A blush crept across your cheeks blossoming into a flattering pink.
“How is my disgusting body reacting to you in such a manner flattering? It’s just annoying.” Saeran huffed feeling his own blush color his cheeks with a light tingle. A moment later you ran to him, wrapping him securely in your arms. Cooing gentle words and caressing his face with your soft fingers. It was doing nothing to help his body relax.
“Shhhh… don't say that. Baby, you're perfect the way you are. Your body is beautiful.” You assured him kissing away the stray tears that streak his face. Saeran was really confused as to why you didn't fear him. Why you'd tell him his body rebelling against him in such a veil way was beautiful.
“I...I don't understand why you're not scared.” Saeran whispered dumbfounded.
“Why would I be scared of you?” You then asked seemingly confused about why he'd ask you such a silly thing.
“I… it's vail… that I don't have more control and lust… I- I know girls don't have these problems-” You then buried your face in his chest and you're tiny frame started to shake. At first, Saeran believed you were scared, but then your laughter turns auditable. “You shouldn't be laughing. My body could hurt you if I got carried away with you.”
“Saeran… Honey. Has anyone ever explained sex to you.” Your laughter stopped and you had him a concerned look.
“Of course I know what sex is… It makes a baby.” Saeran stated feeling insulted that you thought he didn't know what a basic human need for reproduction was.
“Hmmm… You're right, but it's a lot more than just making a baby. These days its people wanting to partake in the act without creating a baby.” Your words… confused him. Why would people- more so women be seeking out something like this. Something that would hurt them- why would anybody want to be hurt? “You seemed confused?” You observed and Saeran tsked at you, turning his head chewing nervously at the inside of his cheek. You’re sweet little hands cupped his cheeks, and turned his face to look at you. You had a soft smile on your face, as you allowed your thumbs to rub gentle circles on his cheek. “I’m just saying, you don’t have to be embarrassed about how your body reacts to mine. You don’t need to turn away from me, Saeran. I love you.”
Saeran watched you, looking for any hint that you were afraid of him, or his body and he couldn’t find it. Nothing. You were being truthful with him. “I love you.” He stated leaning in once more to capture your lips under his. He relished the way you reacted to his kiss immediately, shuttering in his arms. You pressed yourself into him, standing much closed then you’ve ever had. Saeran couldn’t help feeling a little shaky as your body added a presser to his manhood, that sent a nice feeling shiver down his spine. “Oh,” Saeran mumbled on your lip’s, discovering something new about his body.
Your shimmering eyes fluttered open, looking up at him under your long black eyelashes. There was a color to your face, and he didn’t think it was an embarrassed blush at all. You seemed to like how his body was reacting to you’re, and it was so curious. Saeran found himself growing thick between his leg but fought the urge to pull away from you. You released a small sigh, eyes fluttering close once more; as his hand ran up your back, fingers trailing along your spine. He decided he liked your little gasps and sighs you were giving him. Soon you were licking his bottom lip, and he could taste you. Saeran let out a groan at the heavenly taste that graced his tongue when he shyly allowed his to met yours. His mind was clouding, like a thick fog laid over his rational sense, and his thoughts all focused on the pleasant feeling coursing throughout his body. You hips your hips into his and he let out an involuntary moan as a pleasure uncompared to anything caused his eyes to flutter open.
“Mmmm… you’re vocal- I like that.” you murmured on his lips with a slight smile, before kissing him again. These kissed where different from the ones you’ve shared before. Ravenous almost, with the way your fingers found their way into his hair. Massaging his scalp and lightly tugging at his roots. It didn’t hurt, which surprised Saeran, and sent jolts of electricity, that didn’t hurt, within his veins. Hearing the thick husk of her usually soft and sweet voice did wonders to enhance this pleasant feeling.
“I- uh… mmm.” Saeran wanted to express something… He seemed to forget exactly what as you rolled your hips into him again. He was hazy and felt light-headed. Was it the lack of air? How he couldn’t breath when his tongue rolled along yours like this. Not wanting to fall over, Saeran gripped your hips, massaging lightly as he moved toward the bed. You smiled turning prompting him to sit, he quirked an eyebrow but did as you bided.
“I love you.” You cooed so sweetly and saeran couldn’t help but beam a smile reaching out to you. He knew you could see the bulge, but he swallowed his anxiety. You didn’t really seem all that bothered and didn’t look at it either way. If felt nice to be handled by you. To be kissed the way you where kissing him. You crawled onto his lap, and straddle his hips. There was an embarrassed flush that overcame his features as you wiggles slightly to make yourself comfortable on him.
You could feel it; couldn’t you? His desire, his lust, his sinful body beneath you. So why? Why are you so willing to push him? Test his limits? To possibly be hurt by him? Was this a self-sacrificing part of love, for you to accept him, and his disgusting gender like this?
Your lips met his, picking up like you never broke off. Your tongue entered his mouth, licking and sucking. Saeran moaned gripping your hips, his own begging to buck forward into yours. Like his sex need friction that only your body could produce. You hummed and the vibrations did wonders in his mouth. He loved that he could taste even your voice like this. Slowly you started to move your hips, let you where answering his prayer. Saeran sighed raising one hand to tangle in your long locks. He was feeling good, you were making him feel so good. Never in his life had this useless body of his made him feel good. “Mmm, ahhhhh~” Saeran moaned losing all sense and bucked forward into you. You gasped and let out a whimper, grinding down on him hard. Saeran froze, breaking the kiss. His grip on your hips tightened urging you to stop. “I’m hurting you.” He whispered feeling ashamed for not controlling himself, his urges and impulses.
“Saeran, baby… look at me.” You cupped his cheeks once again placing soft kisses on his brow. Still feeling ashamed of himself Saeran lifted his head slightly to look into the deep hues of your eyes. “You’re not hurting me. I made those noises because I was feeling good too.” You explained and he looked at you not completely buying it. You fingers went to massage his scalp as you started to slowly roll your hips into his once more. Your face relaxed and mouth made a tiny ‘O’ as you’re breathing came to you slowly. Your eyes darken, and your lashes fluttered. Saeran groaned feeling you rub along his sex, lulling his head slightly to the side, finding the expression you wore amplified the good feeling your body was giving him. “This feels good to me too, Saeran~.”
The way his name left your lips, he gasped. Feeling his body started to go rigid and his manhood twitched and tightened. Saeran moaned loudly, almost feral sounding, as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. You kept petting his hair gently as your hips picked up. There was something building within him, and he almost felt like he needed to pee as one strong jerk of your hip made something shatter within him. Saeran cried out feeling a blinding pleasure overcome him. He saw white even though his eyes were closed. It felt so good, and he felt himself leak, and his testicles tighten and release. His body twitched and a sob left his throat as the high came down. You were painting above him, placing kissing on his crown, as his breathing steady… Saeran was positive he just pissed himself.
He was mortified to feel a dampness in his pants after the pleasure started to fade. That he peed himself with you on him, thereby peeing on you too… He couldn’t lift his head as he openly cried, his embarrassment too great. You held him close, cooing sweet nothings to him. Assure him everything was alright, that you were alright. It did comfort him that you’re where alright and that you didn’t mention the accident he just had. “I’m so sorry.” He gasped handing your body close.
“No need to be sorry, it’s okay.” You cooed and just held him until his cries slowed down.
“I think I might have-” saeran blushed still not lifting his head… The wetness in his pant became sticky; it was curious for it to do that.
“It’s okay if you came, I just wanted to help you feel good.” You assured him, and he wondered. What did you mean by ‘came’.
“If I came?” He couldn’t help but ask, it was a peculiar statement, and you froze.
“Say, Sae- ahaha that rhymes. Have you ever had an orgasm before?” She asked and Saeran just shook his head, not entirely understanding. You gasped sounding surprised. “You mean this was your first one?” You sounded so bewildered it was embarrassing.
“Is- was that an orgasm?” Saeran asked finally understanding the sensation that overcame him moments ago.
“Mmmm.” You agreed still petting him. “If you ejaculated right then, then yes. You had an orgasm, Saeran.” You explained in a kind tone like it wasn’t anything to be ashamed of. Saeran felt his love for you grow and well up in his chest. You weren’t disgusted by him at all, but being super encouraging. “I imagine your pants are super sticky, you should go take a shower.” You suggested.
“It’s… kind of gross, yes.” Saeran agreed.
A few moments of untangling yourselves, Saeran made his way swiftly into the bathroom and shut the door. He honestly couldn’t wait to get out of his uncomfortable and sticky jeans… He realized then, maybe Rika hadn’t explained things fully to him... That maybe he should do some research about his body- and yours.