Chapter Text
The buzzing of the tattoo guns hit him the same time that the Green Day song and smell of antiseptic cleanliness did. It immediately brought back memories of white walls and gentle nurses but also of screaming and the splitting pain in his head and all the memories.
A hand squeezed his own and Caleb inhaled sharply as he was brought back to the present. Nott was peering up at him curiously and gently holding onto his hand.
Caleb took a deep breath and muttered a thank you, because she was his moral support in this and she had agreed with his idea. He would be nowhere in his recovery if it wasn't for Nott. He especially would not be getting a tattoo of this importance without her guiding hand in his.
There was a blue tiefling at the nearest booth working on a large sleeve piece for a rather handsome looking half Orc. He could see her tongue peeking out between her lips as she did some detailed shading on what appeared to be tentacles and a ship? Some kind of sea monster piece, but the artist and her customer were facing away and he couldn't see it in too much clarity or detail.
"Are you okay Caleb?" Nott at his side was checking with him for the fifth or sixth time since they had gotten into the car that afternoon and he nodded.
"Ja. Let’s uh. Let’s go see at the counter if they have any open spots." he took the first step into the shop, aptly called Peacock Ink and Piercings, and strode up to the rather large woman behind the counter. Her hair was braided with beads of blues and dark grey and her eyes were a stunning hetero-chromatic of purple and icy blue. If there was a woman that could be hailed as the queen of gothic it would be this wonderful woman. She had a cut black tank top on that when she turned to file some paperwork showed the edges of black skeletal wings tattooed onto his shoulder blades. Caleb admired the work in silence before he cleared his throat at the counter.
"Ah hallo, yes I would like to uh... hopefully get a tattoo today." He tapped nervously on the counter the cool glass sending pleasant tingles up his spine that were keeping him calmer. The woman nodded silently as she shifted some papers around.
"Do you have an appointment?"
Caleb faltered slightly, he knew it was a popular establishment based upon reviews but he had been hoping to get in for just a small tattoo.
"No. It is a small tattoo though and it is nothing extravagant. Are there any spots right now?" He knew that if he didn't get it right now his confidence would falter and he would maybe never get it, even though it was so important to him.
"Um we should have something. Just give me a minute. What is your name?" She was searching for forms and pulled together a clipboard for him.
"Caleb. Caleb Widogast."
The woman nodded and she handed over the clipboard and a pen.
"Here, just fill these out for us while I go talk to one of the artists. Did you have a preference for style or artist?" He shook his head no and she turned to leave the desk and head into the back room. Caleb started looking over all the forms and had just started writing his name when there was a shout from the back that made him flinch. It was followed by laughter and an incredibly amused voice.
"Come on that wasn't so bad. You're fine and it looks great! Let me just get the jewelry in for you and you will be all set." There was some quiet speaking and he heard the woman from the desk speak up for a moment as tools were shifted around. Caleb moved over to one of the chairs in the first room and he and Nott both sat down while he looked over the paperwork.
His hands shook slightly as he filled out the information but it wasn't for fear of needles or tattoos.
He signed off on all the documents just in time to look up and see a gentleman leaving the backroom and coming up to the counter to pay for whatever sort of piercing he had gotten himself. The woman was at the counter again and Caleb withered a glance at Nott but she was staring down at her phone typing away furiously. He stood and walked the clipboard over to her and set it on the counter as the other man left.
"All set on the forms?"
"Ja." She took the clipboard, looked it over and smiled softly at him.
"Excellent. My name is Yasha and once he's done cleaning up Mollymauk Tealeaf will be your artist." She finished speaking right as a man rounded the back hallway and sauntered out towards the counter. Caleb did a literal double take at the lavender marvel of a tiefling that wandered up to them.
His hair was a dark plum purple with even darker almost black roots that curled softly past his chin. He was practically pierced and tattooed from head to toe and each piece was beautiful and accented his gorgeous face. His eyes were a crystal red with the centers a slightly paler tone and his tight jeans and sleeveless fuchsia and teal shirt with bleach splatters on it left little to the imagination. Gods but he had his ears pierced all the way up and gauged, a glittering septum ring and necklaces to match all the other pieces of jewelry embedded in his skin. Caleb was blatantly staring now but he had just noticed the beautifully pierced and decorated horns on his head and he was so much to take in all at once his brain was overloading. Sensory overload was an understatement.
Fuck, but he was really hot.
A hand was extended towards him and Caleb had to blink and remind himself how to move his arms before he shook it with as firm a grip as he could muster.
"Why hello there. I see you've met the lovely Yasha she is one of our fantastic artists here. I'm Mollymauk Tealeaf, but please call me Molly. Owner of this fine establishment and your tattoo artist today."
"Lucky me." he couldn't stop the words from leaving his lips, mumbled and slightly strained. Molly just laughed and released his hand. "Caleb" he belatedly introduced himself and winced at his poor attempts at conversation.
"I was going to say the same thing." He smirked and Caleb felt his face heat up and his gaze immediately drop to the floor. He was so fucked but there was no backing out now. He had already signed the paperwork and Nott had come all the way here with him he had to get this done. This was about healing and coming to terms with what had happened.
"So why don't you come on over here. Step into my office." The extravagant man motioned him over to one of the free tattooing chairs and slid easily into the rolling chair that was meant for him. Caleb shot one last look over at Nott and she smiled encouragingly at him. It was all he needed to take the first step over that threshold into the tattooing area. He sat uncomfortably on the chair and fiddled with his fingers in his lap.
"What can I do for you today Caleb? Yasha mentioned something small?" Caleb nodded and reached up to shimmy slightly out of his large overcoat and roll his sleeve up on his right arm.
"Yes, I am looking to get a date. Right here in this font." He pointed to his upper arm and handed over a folded piece of paper to Mollymauk.
“Oh a date? Well I mean I don’t normally date customers but I can make an exception.” Caleb spluttered at that and Molly laughed as he patted his shoulder reassuringly. “I’m joking we are very professional here.” There was a sharp giggling laugh from the booth with the blue tiefling at that and Molly rolled his eyes and turned to the paper in his hands.
Caleb was embarrassed but he felt a warm sense of affection start to settle in his stomach. The light-hearted flirting was kind of nice.
The tiefling looked the paper over and nodded before he swiveled over to Yasha and gave her the paper.
"Yasha will you be a dear and make a copy of this for the transfer lines." She nodded and went off towards the computer as Molly pushed back dramatically and slid over towards him.
"Should be easy and quick enough. Can I ask what the date is for?" He started to set things up on the table near the chair and glanced over towards Caleb to try and read his expression. Caleb avoided eye contact and his body stilled completely as the air left his lungs. He did not know this man, he did not owe him anything but he was about to let him put something permanent onto his body. He swallowed and his hand rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
"It's a uh... release date from... the hospital." He left it at that, deciding not to go into the rough details about how he had only recently been allowed out of intensive psychiatric care and Molly could clearly see that the date was from five years previous. He was buzzing with nerves, worried that Mollymauk might have been uncomfortable with the tattoo now that he knew what it was for.
There was no reaction except a resolute nod from the man.
"Congrats." Caleb blinked in shock and looked up at the man as he busied himself with cleaning and setting up. Molly turned to him in his spinning chair and held out his inner left wrist. Directly across his wrist was a date from two years ago in black ink. "I know how that feels and I can tell you that its freeing to put it down somewhere."
Caleb's organs felt like they were all pressed up into his throat and he pursed his lips as he tried to sort through the onslaught of emotions that were filling him.
It was such a simple thing but it meant a lot. So few words could convey such a wonderful feeling of acceptance? That wasn't the right word but he fought the stinging in his eyes and nodded mutely.
"Thank you for that..." he cleared his throat just in time for Yasha to step up to them with two pieces of paper.
Mollymauk turned and grabbed the sheets with a smile.
"Lovely. Let me see the different sizes." He looked at the transfer pieces and rolled his chair abruptly into Caleb personal space and the man stiffened slightly. Caleb knew he was going to have to be close to the man that was how tattoos worked but he hadn't thought about what he would do if that man was, good looking and HEAVENS forbid nice.
Mollymauk seemed to have noticed his stiffening because he paused in his rolling and his eyes searched his face. Caleb looked away quickly and didn't make eye contact.
"I'm just going to look at the sizes and shave the hair from your arm okay?" Caleb nodded and held his arm out for him. His fists were clenched to keep his hands from shaking.
Molly's hands were incredibly warm as they settled gently on his elbow to hold his arm still. Antiseptic filled the air as he opened a clean wipe and prepped the skin. He shaved any hair from the area on his shoulder and Caleb was just focused on each time his warm fingers touched his upper arm and his elbow as he maneuvered around to make sure everything was ready. The stencil was cool in contrast to his nerves that were alight under his skin in anticipation, dread, excitement and anxiety.
"Alright look at that and let me know if the size and placement are what you want." Molly held up a mirror and in the reflection, he could see his own shoulder with the delicate date in a larger type-writer font across his upper arm. It was in a pale blue washable ink and it was even and straight across and absolutely perfect. It was perfect and it was overwhelming and seeing it on his skin made the reality of everything hit him at once and his breath left his mouth in a choked sob.
He could hear Nott skittering out of the chair in the distance at the sound of his distress, bless her kind soul.
"Caleb are you okay?" He could just barely see her head peeking up over the counter to look back towards the tattooing chairs.
"I'm f-fine..." hot tears fell down his cheeks and his voice caught but he was okay, just choked up.
A gentle hand settled on his other shoulder and a comforting warmth found its way into him as his shoulder was rubbed with a gentle thumb.
"He will be fine. It's just a lot to take in but we're going to go as slowly as you need. Okay Caleb?" He felt like those words had been said before but probably not in this context. Most people were terrified of the pain but he could tell by the tone of his voice that this artist knew that he wasn't afraid of the pain. He wasn't crying in fear. It was a twisted sense of relief and finality and closure. Closure he so desperately needed in his life on a chapter that had already taken so much from him.
"Caleb. You still with me?" Mollymauk was still holding onto his shoulder and he looked up to meet his eyes and wiped his tears onto the back of his hand. One very deep breath later and he could actually speak again.
"Ja. I am here. The placement is perfect. I love it." He watched the most blinding and beautiful smile stretch across the tieflings mouth and he couldn't help but smile softly in return. "Alright let's get this over with then."
Molly nodded and his horn jewelry jingled as he turned to finish preparations. His warm hand left Caleb’s shoulder and he missed it but it was okay because now the nerves about the actual tattooing was happening. He was about to have a needle inject ink into his skin. Oh, ja this was going to hurt.
He shifted on the chair and Molly out a fresh pair of gloves and the snap brought his attention over to the artist as he started adding the ink to the needles and making sure they were working.
He was really fucking beautiful.
The blue of the gloves added a contrast to his purple skin that was riddled with poppies and roses and a detailed serpent was twisting through the flowers and leaves and it all bloomed into a beautiful peacock up the side of the delicate column of his neck. The ink extended up over his sharp jawline and onto his cheekbones that stood out and his eyes were that beautiful red with a paleness to the center that showed he was focused on his needles.
There was so much to unpack in his appearance between all the ink and the studs and as he licked his lip Molly saw at least two studs in that tongue and that did things to him he wasn't willing to entertain right at this second.
It took a moment for Caleb to realize that he was staring directly into the pale center of those red eyes, but when he did he immediately felt the heat in his cheeks and he dropped his gaze to his hands. A chuckle fell from the tieflings lips and suddenly Mollymauk was right next to him and he was positioning his arm and leaning in with the gun at the ready.
"Alright you ready to start?"
"Whenever you are." The machine started with a buzzing and he felt the hairs on his neck stand up as a million thoughts about what this could feel like ran through his head.
And then it was happening and it was pressing into his skin and he was not sure what to make of it. It was more like scratching than poking and while it hurt it was hardly anything worth mentioning.
"How are you doing? Not bad, right?" Molly grinned up at him.
"Not at all. It's kind of nice." It was kind of nice. The slight pain mixed with the vibrations and it was more relaxing than anything else. He could see himself getting used to it if he wasn't careful.
"Tell me about yourself while I work. What brought you to this shop?" Molly was clearly very focused on his work but he was listening, that much Caleb knew.
"I was told that the artists were very talented. A friend of mine has gotten work done..." he paused and looked to the side and cut all his losses. "They did not mention how attractive the staff was."
Mollymauk laughed and gave him a delighted look as he picked up more ink and went back to doing the linework.
"I appreciate the compliment."
"How did you know I was talking about you?" Caleb couldn't help his snark as he gave the man a look. It didn't even phase him in his work and Molly shrugged.
"I'm pretty cute, or so I’ve been told. Besides you were staring at me pretty hard there for a bit." Caleb felt his cheeks flush and he looked away to the other side of the tattoo parlor. He'd certainly been obvious about that, damn it.
"Sorry..."
"Don't apologize. I liked it." The smirk in his voice was real but the undertone was serious and his eyes were kind when he spoke. As much as he was flashy on the outside Caleb felt himself falling fast for the kindness he was glimpsing in these past few moments.
"Did you do all of your tattoos yourself?" his question rushed passed his gates, leaving into the open air once it had been asked and the two fell into a moment of silence, save for the gun continuing to buzz as Molly worked.
"Not all of them. Yasha did some of them, and Jester did the peacock piece which I adore." From two chairs over Jester leaned away from her work and shot him a grin that rivaled his own.
"I knew you would like it that way instead of the other way. I still think you should get a hamster Unicorn on your ass though." She waggled her eyebrows in a way that was frankly an impressive display of facial muscle control before turning back to the tattoo she was working on. From here Caleb could tell that it was a large Octopus, sea monster that was crushing a ship in its tentacles from below the waves. It was very detailed and a beautiful piece.
"Not on your life Jester." Molly was grinning but both artists turned back to their work and he shrugged at Caleb. "There you have it. Did a lot of them myself but I enjoy supporting other artists in the area as much as I can.”
"Who did the date on your wrist?" He hadn't wanted to ask so specifically about that, but it was on his mind and he felt that maybe because Molly had brought up the tattoo in the first place that he would be willing to share.
"Yasha did. She gave it to me when I asked her." Mollymauk spoke clearly but he had a hyper focus to his work that showed his slight discomfort with the topic. Caleb watched the pinch of his eyebrows and his focus on the lines and he could see his own date, his own marker of freedom that was being put permanently into his skin. He could understand the reluctance to speak about it. He was only having a hard time grasping that someone as beautiful and bright as Molly might struggle with something enough to be hospitalized like him.
"Thank you for doing mine."
Mollymauk paused in his work and pulled away to face Caleb full on. He had a very serious expression on his face.
"I will do any tattoo you want in a heartbeat. Especially something this important, and at your pace. I can tell you've dealt with enough shit to not need any more for a long time. Let me be here for you even if it's just to put a few meaningful numbers on your arm." He smiled softly and that smile filled up dark and empty corners in Caleb that he didn't know had been there before that moment. He didn't feel worthy of them, he still had a lot to atone for but at least he could bask in this maybe a little bit.
"Anything I want? Even if it’s stupid?"
"Anything you want. There is no such thing as a stupid tattoo."
"What if I wanted a number nine in the middle of my forehead?" Molly laughed and shook his head at him.
"Well that would certainly be silly but if it meant something to you I would never call it a stupid tattoo. Who am I to say what’s important to you?"
Caleb melted under those words and restrained himself fully from saying aloud that this man was very quickly becoming important to him. Mollymauk was important. He had just met this fucking tattoo artist and he had been so understanding in every way.
The tattoo commenced after that point without many interruptions and they talked back and forth about what they did. Caleb shared that he was a historical researcher and restoration curator at the old library in the center of town and he enjoyed working with the precarious and extremely old texts that they would receive from long dead civilizations. Molly hung on every word he spoke and it was flattering to say the least. He asked the right questions and seemed interested in what he enjoyed doing. He didn't even realize that he was babbling on and on until Mollymauk pulled away from his arm and set the machine aside and stripped off his gloves.
"Alright we are all set here. Let me just clean it up and you can take a look before we bandage it." Caleb hadn't even thought about the fact that he was getting a tattoo and it had hardly taken any time at all. He blinked and looked down at his shoulder. The skin there was red and slightly puffy but the delicate lines of black ink were stark in contrast and his mouth dried up as he realized what he had done.
"May I?" Caleb blinked as he realized that the purple tiefling was in his space again with a clean wipe for his skin. He nodded and let him clean off the tattoo and before he could miss the man's presence there was a small mirror in front of him and he was staring into his own blue eyes.
With a slow movement he shifted his gaze away from his own face and instead took in his bare upper arm and the ink that stared back at him. He teared up again as he stared at the permanent reminded that he was not in that place anymore. That he was free and that he was never going back. His hand came up to his mouth as he shuddered in a deep breath and stared at the contrast between the dark black Ink and his skin. He felt relief for the future and pain for his past and it swirled through his veins like oil and water in a dark tunnel. It bled together like he had bled for his sins and it brought him a moment of clarity and closure that was everything he had hoped it would be. He was not healed yet. Far from it, but this was a step in the right direction. Giving a final date to his time made it feel like the next milestone was not as far off as it seemed some days.
This was progress and progress was better than being stagnant.
"Danke. Ich danke dir sehr... Th-this means so much. Thank you." He was choked up but he was so happy and he could see Nott in the mirror watching him and her eyes looked a little misty too. Gods but he owed her the world. Molly was staring at him with a look he couldn't decipher in his state but it boarded somewhere on adoration and that was certainly a thought.
Caleb turned to look at Nott and gave her the widest most genuine smile he could, and it was small and still a little broken but her impossibly wide goblin grin in response filled his heart with joy and he laughed out loud. Something he was still getting used to doing.
"Wow..." The single word had slipped out of Molly's open mouth and Caleb turned to look at him as he spoke and blinked away some of his tears. Mollymauk was staring at him like the sun was shining out of his ass and he seemed to shake himself from a trance and busy himself with the plastic wrap and tape he was setting up to properly cover the tattoo.
"Right. I uh take it you're happy with it then, darling?" Caleb nodded enthusiastically and slapped a hand down onto the artists shoulder with a firm grip and a reassuring squeeze and he leaned in closely so that they were a few inches away from each other.
"I absolutely love it. It is perfect. Thank you, Mollymauk Tealeaf. You have given me a gift." Caleb watched with fascination as the tieflings cheeks turned a much darker shade of purple and he released him from his grip.
"I uh. Wow. Well that makes me feel like I did something incredible." He laughed and it was a beautiful sound and Caleb though that he would very much like to hear that laugh again sometime. Hopefully soon. "I hardly did anything, you were the one brave enough to get it done. I was simply the one with the right equipment to do it for you." He chuckled and started to wrap up his arm and tape it down safely. Caleb felt the pressure of those hands on his arm again and he enjoyed it while it lasted.
Soon enough they were both standing and Molly was guiding him over towards the desk with a gentle hand in the small of his back and Caleb was really pleased that his hand was there. it was a friendly gesture at most, he made sure to remind himself not to read into it too much but regardless he enjoyed it immensely.
"Alright, Yasha will ring you out for the tattoo. Ah actually..." Molly busied himself with the computer as Caleb went around the desk and showed off the ink to Nott. She was on her toes to see it but her eyes went very wide and started to water as she looked at the simple line of ink. Soon enough she was wrapped around his waist in a tight hug and he was smiling and hugging her back.
"It’s perfect Caleb...." She sniffled and he felt touched by the extent of her emotions for him.
"Thanks to you it actually got done." She snorted and pulled away with an exaggerated eyeroll.
"All I did was drive your ass down to here to get it done."
"Ja, because if I had to drive myself I would have chickened out." They both laughed and Caleb abruptly remembered he needed to pay and turned back to the counter as his hand fished around for his wallet. He glanced up at Molly and had to look away when both he and Yasha were staring at him.
"How much do I owe you?"
"Nothing." Caleb blanched and stared wide-eyed at the man. He watched as Yasha had the exact same reaction as him before she elbowed him hard in the side, enough that the tiefling almost fell over. He dramatically gripped at his side with both of his hands.
"OW! Yasha what the fuck? I was joking!" He gave her a glare and Caleb was privy to a silent conversation the two had. Based on his instincts he could see that it went back and forth several times before Yasha rolled her eyes and became smug. Mollymauk on the other end looked rather pouty and defeated but as far as actual context he had no idea what they were discussing with their eyes.
"Um..."
"Discounted price. You only owe me $60" His breath left him in a rush and he stared dumbly at the tiefling.
"A-Are you sure? I should really give you more-!"
"If you argue Caleb Widogast I will keep dropping the price. Now you only owe me $55." His smile was wide and teasing and Caleb shuffled quickly and desperately for his wallet and handed over his card in a flustered and desperate attempt for the man to stop dropping the already ridiculous price. He could charge him whatever he wanted but Caleb was going to tip as much as he felt like.
Mollymauk chuckled as he ran the card and handed over the receipt for him to sign. Caleb slid it towards himself and signed. He guarded the edge with his hands as he wrote in one hundred as the tip so that Molly wouldn't be able to see it.
He paused and glanced up at the frankly stupidly attractive man at the counter before he made his choice. His heart was in his throat and he could feel his rushing pulse and the heat that was surely staining his face completely red as he scribbled something else onto the bottom of the paper and then took his card back. The slip was clutched in his hand and he could see the curiosity that Mollymauk was eyeing him with but he simply gathered the last remaining vestiges of his courage and handed the paper over with a small smile.
"Thank you again so very much. We will be back if we ever need anything." Caleb reached out and shook the man’s hand one last time firmly. It was really an excuse to touch his hand one more time and their handshake lingered before Nott tugged on his sleeve and he pulled away.
"Alright let’s head home then." He ushered them both out of the shop rather quickly as the embarrassment of what he had done set in and he was fueled by his instinct to run away.
"Whoa whoa Caleb why are we running? Did you rob him or something?!?" Caleb WISHED he had robbed him, gods his face was on fucking fire it felt like. He probably looked like a tomato.
"I wish that was it." He grimaced as they walked down the sidewalk. Nott just stared at him in blatant confusion and pulled his arm until he came to a stop.
"What did you do?"
"I gave him my number." As the realization sunk in his buried his face in his hands in complete and utter embarrassment in the middle of the sidewalk.
"You did what?!?! You just met him!" Caleb wanted to at that moment on that spot in the sidewalk disappear. Just cease to exist because surely there was nothing more embarrassing than what he had just done. He was so terribly, horribly wrong.
In his pocket he felt the vibration of his phone as a ringing interrupted their conversation. Nott still seemed to be struggling with what he had done, that he himself barely understood why he had done. He grumbled and pulled his phone out of his deep coat pocket and spared only a second of a glance at the screen to see that it was an unfamiliar number before he was already picking it up and placing the phone up to his ear. He didn't know who was calling but their timing was not the best at all, he was clearly dealing with extreme embarrassment here.
"Hallo, Widogast speaking"
"Hey so uh, I was wondering what you're doing tomorrow." Caleb almost screamed as he recognized the voice on the end of the line and he turned on the spot to stare back at the entrance of the Peacock ink and Piercing Parlor. Leaning outside the front door was Mollymauk Tealeaf himself, casually against the side of the building with his cell phone in his hand and a grin more wicked than Satan himself upon his lips. Caleb did shriek this time and cursed up a colorful storm in Zemnian as he almost dropped his phone on the spot and had to attempt to catch it multiple times before he was able to hold on to it in shaking hands.
Nott had abandoned him on the sidewalk and was grumbling to herself as she walked towards the car. "Useless gay man." were the only words he heard and it rang very true.
He could see Mollymauk full body laughing from where he was in front of the shop as Caleb slowly brought the phone back to his ear.
"Um... ah tomorrow you said?" He could hear the man’s breathy laughter and he would have died on the spot if it weren't for how much he liked hearing his laugh.
"Yeah. I have the night off, figured you might be free and well I could be reading the signs completely wrong but if you're interested I know a great restaurant. “Caleb grinned and had to cover his face with his hand.
"Ja. That uh...That sounds good. Text me a time and I'll pick you up after work."
"Excellent. I can't wait." There was a click and the line went dead but their eyes stayed connected and Caleb felt for the first time in over five years like he had been given not only closure for his past mistakes but also that he was finally writing a new beginning. He was forging a new path and this time he was writing it carefully each step of the way in permanent Ink.