Chapter Text
I hate school it is the same every day. They push me in the halls and they shove me against lockers. Feet stuck out here and there to trip me or mean 'kick me' signs stuck onto my back. Sometimes, they yanked my long black hair that I hid my face behind. They called me names or threw things at me. They'd laugh or whisper or point while others would stare. They called me names and I have been beaten up more times then I can count. I was a little chubby and they picked on me for that.
I have cried so many times and suffered in silence. I never fight back because I thought that it would probably only make it worse. I am so sick and tired of their shit. Today in the lunch room they poured my tray into my lap, every one pointed at me and laughed. I wanted to pull in to myself and just become invisible. This cute little punk boy, Frank, I think his name is, came over to help me and it made my heart leap. He invited me to sit with him at lunch with him and his friends the next day.
I was so shy that I didn't really even speak when I joined them. "This is Pete, Ray, Lynz, Alica and that's Bob. I briefly nodded in their directions. "What is your name?" The cute boy named Frank had asked.
"I am Gerard," I said shy and quiet.
After a week of sitting with them at lunch, he invited me to his house. We were in his bedroom watching tv and I was still hiding behind my long black hair. I was still shy and pretty much quiet.
"You don't say much, do you, Gerard?" He questioned me. I shook my head in reply as he slid closer to me and pushed my hair out my face. "You shouldn't hide behind you hair, you are to pretty to," he told me. It didn't matter, I didn't believe him. He leaned in pressing his lips to mine, I went stiff and froze. He pulled back whispering, "it's, okay, Gerard. I am not going to bite you."
I nodded and when he leaned in this time, I let him kiss me. I was timid at first but then I let him slide his tongue into my mouth. He caressed my back and soon I became braver letting my hands run over his sides and back. He hummed, leaning in and deepening the kiss. He grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. I shivered in the cool air but more from fear. I wanted to hide my body because I hated it. His hands were on me, touching me and he was pressing me back onto the bed. His hands were all over me and he was licking my chest. It felt so good and it made it so I couldn't think straight.
No one had ever touched me like this before. I reached for his shirt and pulling it over his head yearning to touch him as well. He gave me a lazy smile that twitched at his lips. We went on for awhile caressing, touching and just kissing. I was getting hard and I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment. He reached between my legs to caress my hard-on through my jeans. I whimper embarrassingly as he started undoing my jeans and pushed them off of my hips. I put my hands on his arms to stop him.
"It's alright, Gerard," he said smiling sweetly at me. He then took my hand in his and placed it on his hard-on, so that I could feel it through his jeans. "It's okay, I want you too," he whispered. I pulled my hands back letting him push my jeans down my thighs and take them off. He stroked my hard-on, making me thrust involuntarily into his his hand. He reached over to his bedside table, pulled out a bottle and a condom.
"Frank," I said swallowing hard and my eyes widening.
"Gerard, it is, okay, baby. I promise that I will be gentle," he says.
I am scared but I nod and bite my lip. I want to run out of this room and tell him that I have changed my mind. He poured some of the liquid onto his fingers and I watched it as it glistens in the light. He parts my ass cheeks and begins teasing my opening with one wet finger. It causes my hips to jerk at such an unexpected sensation. "Relax," he says pressing my hips back down.
I try to relax but it so hard too and it makes me tremble. He presses one his fingers into me and it really kind of hurts but I try to lay still. "You're doing, so, good," he tells me stroking my hip with his fingers. Then he moves the finger in and out of me. Soon, he adds a second one and starts stretching me. It hurts even more and I want to tell him to stop, its on the tip of my tongue and then he hits something inside of me and my hips jerks violently. Fuck, that felt good and any thought of protesting skittered away forgotten.
"Fuck, Frank," I mumble and he smiles at me.
"Feels nice, doesn't it?" He asks as he begins working a third finger into me. Opening me wider and making me ready for him. Then he slowly eased them out and I watched as he pulled his own pants off. His cock is just as hard as mine is and I suddenly realize that this is happening, my first time, right here with this perfect and beautiful boy. I watched him roll the condom on, pour the liquid on him and massage it all over his dick. He pressed it against my opening and pushed into me. Once the head slide in, I realized that I didn't know if I can do this, it hurts but then he is lazily kissing me and touching my dick. I bite lip and let him slide all the way in.
Once he is in the pain starts to ease and he turns me onto my side and lifts my leg over his hip, up in the air to give him better access to me. I am all spread open for him and looking like a whore. He starts thrusting into me, his body pressed against my back and both of us on our sides. It doesn't take him long to have me moaning and pleading. He leans in and takes my cock into his hand to stroke me. He whispers dirty things into my ear that are,so, filthy that I am blushing. He then pushes my hair out my face while he tells me that he wants to see my beautiful face. It doesn't take him long before he's cumming and I follow close behind him. With a loud moan I cum all over his hand that is fisting my cock. "That's it," he says softly.
After we are finished he touches me gently and caresses my hip to calm me down. "Wow," I say, but I am at a loss for words.
"Yeah," Frank says laughing. The rest of the night, I am high on him and the feeling of what we had done. I wake up that way, smiling like idiot.
It is now Monday, I know that I will see him at school today. He hasn't talked to me since I left his house and I can't wait to hear his voice. I enter the school, for the first time feeling not so lost. It doesn't take me long to realize people are pointing at me more then normal and laughing even louder. "Oh, baby," some of the guys say, blowing kisses and making sex noises. One of the girls calls me a slut. They are all making moaning sounds at me and calling out things I had moaned out to Frank.
I froze, how do they know? Surely, he hadn't told anyone. Tears well up in my eyes and I run to the bathroom. My younger brother who is just a couple years behind me quickly follows me. "I don't understand," I sob to him. He pulls out his cell phone and shows me the video. It is of me letting Frank fuck me and me begging him like a slut, then it goes to him and his friend laughing and making fun of me. I am horrified and I sob even louder. "Mikey, how can this be?" I ask him my eyes pleading for it to not be real.
"I am sorry, Gee," he says hugging me.
"Has everyone seen this?" I say to him.
He nods his head, slowly, "I think, so, Gerard."
I cry for long a time before I finally come out of the bathroom. At lunch, I go to him and his friends and ask them how they could do this to me. He just pushes me, calls me a bitch and laughs. His friends laugh at me too, point at me and call me a whore, making people stare. I feel the tears well up in my eyes while his voice taunts me, making them fall.
"Awww, what's the matter, crybaby? Did you really think I gave a fuck about you? He mocked me.
I ran out of the lunch room. Later on some of the jocks caught me in the halls, they began pushing me and shoving me. "Oh, look what we have here?" They teased me. "A little faggot. You liked taking it up the ass, didn't you? You are a fucking pussy." They were all laughing and I couldn't take it anymore and I pushed one of back. He balled up his fist and bashed it into face. There was a loud crack and pain shot throughout my entire face. I realized quickly that he'd broken my jaw.
I stumbled back, throwing my hands up just to keep them away. I fell to the floor, trying to scramble away and they laughed even harder. They kicked me as I tried to get away. "Look at the little slut. Ha ha! Begging like he did when the punk boy fucked him." "Beg me, like that," some jock said holding me down with a foot on my chest. I sobbed louder trying to get away. When he finally let me up I managed to run away. I ran all the way home crying. When I got home I went to room in the basement and hid.
Mikey tried to talk to me but I ignored his pleading for me to talk to him. My mom told me that I had brought this on myself. My dad told me that I shouldn't have done it. I cried myself to sleep knowing that I would have to go back to school the next day. Every day it got worse, they pushed me, they beat me and they teased me. They were relentless. Most of all I had to see his face every day and It hurt me more then anything else. I spent most of my time crying and in pain. My brother tried to help me but he didn't really know how to.
Today is Monday again, a week since this nightmare had started. One of Frank's friends, Bob, I think poured milk on my head at lunch. I couldn't even go to class, they would throw paper at me and shoot spitballs at the back of my head. I couldn't escape it and I had started to wish that would just die. I tried to hold on but they just wouldn't leave me alone.
On Friday they caught me in the locker room and they slammed me into the lockers. They beat me pretty badly, my mouth was busted open and I had a black eye. There are bruises purpling on my side and my hip. They stole my clothes and left me on the floor crying. It all starts over again ever Monday and Frank smirks at me from across the lunch room. I want to rip that smug look off of his face.
When we are in gym, that afternoon, I finally ask him why. He laughs in my face and tells me, "you're the little whore who let me. You even begged me," he said and laughed. "You had no idea that Bob was taping it all," he laughed even harder. "Everyone in school knows what a whore you are."
"I was a fucking virgin," I shrieked, "and you did this to me."
He shrugged. "You did this to yourself and I'm not so fucking sure that you were a virgin because you sure as hell didn't act that way, you took my cock like a pro. You begged me like a whore. I am done talking to you now. Shut the fuck up. bitch!" He said pushing me.
I ran away from him sobbing. After school that day, I went to my dad's closet took his gun and the bullets. I hid them in my bag and slid into bed. I could hear their voices in my head. Slut, whore, faggot bitch, what a loser, so ugly, fat and useless. How pathetic you are. I sobbed, the tears flowing freely down my face and then I smiled a twisted morbid smile. They were all going to pay.
The next day I didn't get up until late, around afternoon. When I walked into the school and people turn to stare at me. It started in the hall, where I pulled the gun out. I shot the jock who broke my jaw first. His blood splattered all over the lockers and I smiled with a satisfied grin. People were running and screaming and I already knew where I was going next. I now had a purpose as I made my way into the gym.
I walked in, my eyes wild. I turned my gun on Bob first and he went down. Then I took out Ray with an even wider satisfied grin. I went straight for Frank next, grabbing him as he tried to scramble away from me. I made him get on his knees.
"Beg me not to kill you now, bitch," I told him.
"Please, Gerard, don't do this. I didn't mean it, I am sorry. Please, you can fuck me if you want."
I bark a manic laugh, "whose the bitch now?" I said. He was sobbing and pleading wildly. I didn't care, I pulled the trigger and his blood splattered all on me. I felt satisfied for moment as I watched him fall down to the ground and his eyes closed.
By the time, I had dropped the gun, walking numbly out of the school, my brother ran up to me and began tugging on my arm. "Gerard," he pleaded, but it fell on deaf ears. I didn't see or feel or even hear anything. I had just gone numb. It hadn't made me feel any better instead it only made me feel worse. I walked home feeling the numb that had washed over, climbed onto my bed still covered in their blood. I took all of the prescription pills in the bathroom cabinet and swallowed them.
Mikey pounded on the door loudly. "Gerard, please," he was still pleading. I just laid here. Soon, he smashed the door to get inside to me. He held me against his chest and sobbed. "Gerard, what have you done?" He cried as my eyes slipped closed. I had expected to die and I had wanted to die but instead I woke up and found that I couldn't move. My arms and legs were strapped down. I opened my eyes and looked around wildly. A hospital? They had locked me away. I laughed insanely. The laughter pouring out of me like tears would have. I hear someone next to and suddenly I realize that I am not alone. It's Mikey.
He looks at me timidly. As my eyes fell on him I shrieked wildly. "Why? Why did you do this to me? You should have just let me die."
"Gerard, you're sick," he says softly.
"Get the fuck out!" I scream.
He looks torn and sighs as he gets up to leave and I watch his back as he goes. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be alive. I am angry and I refuse to talk anymore. They come to visit me but I don't see them, I ignore them. I am only alive now in my own mind, it is the only place that I find any solace. For I will never forgive Mikey for saving me.