Archive of Our Own

Sehun met Jongin when he visited his small-town opera house as an honored guest. Sehun was one of the many backup dancers there, and Jongin had come to teach them for a short period of time. The two blonde haired boys soon became friends within that time, naturally bonding together, as if they were brothers by birth. They spent their time by laughing at the same jokes and talking fondly of their favorite performances. Jongin’s stories were more interesting to him, since he was the main dancer of one of the most famous Opera House in all of the world. Sehun watched as the boy talked about the shows and dances he has done in front of such large audiences with ease and wished that for himself.

When Jongin arrived into his hometown, Sehun was already a few weeks into his engagement to a boy that was slightly older and had a facial expression similar to a bird. It seemed to make sense that Jongin would walk in on his day of departure to find Sehun in a half-empty house, crying on the steps with a broken heart and a letter stating that his finance had ran off with the opera house owner’s daughter, leaving him and the eight years together behind. Sehun swore that love wasn’t worth it then, and he would never engage in it again. Sehun just couldn’t take the pain.

Jongin stayed with him that day, talking to him about the tragedy and trying to smooth out his pain. In the mix of the evening, Jongin proposals that Sehun should come with him and take a look around his own Opera House, the famous one he shared with his older brothers. Sehun doesn’t want to leave his own home. He doesn’t want to face the judgment outside, knowing already that the whole town knows about the scandal and would go out of their way to talk to him about it with pity and care. He can’t bare the idea of going back to work either, having to face the boss that was now his ex-lover’s father in law. He rather be stabbed then to face that, then to face any of this.

Jongin wins him over in the end, and they travel over in the morning. Sehun likes to think that he went to get his mind off the heartache in his chest, that maybe this can make everything better in the end because he was still a passionate dancer, something he always wanted to be more than someone’s husband.

Once they arrive there, Jongin introduces him to his older brother, Xiumin and his husband Jongdae, both being retired professional singers themselves. The three somehow talk Sehun into performing for them on the stage, coaxing him to redo his best performance. He does it for some reason, probably because of the wine in his system, with no music in the background and no way to read the judges faces.

Once he is finished, he is greeted with an applause, and they offer him a spot as a main dancer in their Opera House right afterwards. Sehun accepts the offer as his much-needed escape easily and moves towns quickly.

Time passes in the form of years and Sehun finds himself content and happy. He’s a respectable main dancer along with Jongin, who was one of his good friends, in the Kim Opera House, a true masterpiece plaza, and he was performing some of the most beautiful works he has never heard or seen. He considers this the prime of his career and life and enjoys the time he has now, swearing off anything that could hold himself away from his work, like suitors or rumors. He rather not dabbles in things that are more hurtful then comforting.

It was one morning when Xiumin and Jongdae announced that the house had a new lead singer to take over the main parts in the new shows they had composed. The singer went by the stage name Luhan and he had a very nice voice and laugh. Sehun didn’t care for the side glances he would toss his way in a flirtatious fashion though, nor did he care for the way Jongin would tease him about having a very loving fan, but Sehun only rolled his eyes at the notion. Anything from anyone wasn’t worth it to him.

It was a late-night practice when he began to reconsider that.

It was only the dancers and vocalists there; no orchestra present for the music. The small group was rehearsing a part that involved Kyungsoo and Jongin interacting to one another, which Sehun knew was much to Jongin liking since he found the older boy rather cute. Sehun was hidden away in the backstage, covering himself as he waited for his cue.

He was silently watching the sense go on till the swish of cutting rope snapped throughout the air. Sehun only caught a glance of the sand bag dropping from the ceiling before he realized that there was a prop wall dropping as well, right over his head. He darted himself backwards and land on the side and out of the way of the prop wall slamming down onto the stage ground.

He was shocked for a solid moment, before hearing the voices on the other side of the wall. It was mainly the dancers who were claiming this to be done by a ghost or some kind of phantom.

None of them seemed to remember that Sehun was behind them. He was about to say something till a swift wind of chilling air graced his back. His voice got caught in his throat and he glanced over behind him to see only darkness behind him.

“Sehun…”

For a second, he doesn’t believe he hears it at first, but then there was no denying the fact that it was truly a light whisper that called him out just then and there. The atmosphere seemed to become colder around him as the sound of a piano began to play a soothing melody.

Sehun knew it was coming from the dreariness in front of him, and instead of being afraid of the noise, he felt invited in. He began to walk further in to unknown space in front of him as the voice slowly blended in with the piano playing.

The music was mellifluous, and the voice was beautiful and easy to listen too, like a lullaby that his mother used to sing to him. It made him feel peaceful and slightly sleepy, and surprisingly calm given the position he was in.

He walked in tempo to the song playing in the shadows that conceived him full. He couldn’t see a single thing and found himself to not mind that at all. The voice carries on and Sehun considers it one of the most beautiful voices he has ever heard, so passive yet alluring, like how a dream should sound like.

The song finishes and Sehun is almost woeful to have it end. He stops walking in the dark and he takes this as his chance to investigate. He can’t see, but he can feel that someone else was there with him. The voice sounded distant, but the sense of someone else breathing and the warmth of another human body almost creases his skin. He knew he wasn’t alone.

“Hello?” He calls out into the darkness. His own voice seems gross in the noiseless sound after the lovely tone it just held. “Is someone here?”

Silence greets him, and he almost considers that he is now alone. The thought actually upsets him.

“Your voice is so beautiful. And you play so wonderfully.” He compliments the voice, thinking that he has nothing to lose now. “Please, can you perform for me again?”

Sehun wants to hear more, and for a second, he thinks he can hear a gasp of an inhale and finds himself holding onto the moment with anticipation and some excitement.

“Sehun!” A shout behind him makes him jumps. He turns to find Jongin and Kyungsoo behind him with candles.

“Where were you, Sehun? How did you end up here?” Kyungsoo glances around in the darkness himself.

“Did you two not hear it? The voice?”

“What voice?” Jongin asked him with concern in his voice.

“The voice that was singing earlier. The piano was being played as well.” Sehun told them, not liking the confusion they both held in their faces. “You have to have heard it. It was so lovely and…”

“There was no singing or playing Sehun,” Kyungsoo tells him. “We only heard you talking in the dark. That’s how we found you.”

Sehun only looked at them with unbearable comprehension of what they just stated. He turned back to the shadows around them, looking for the slightly silhouette of another human form or for the slightly hint for the voice he just witnessed. He would even take another cold swipe of wind as a sign of him actually enduring what he just heard and felt. Nothing was found.

“I might just be hearing things. I’m probably sleep deprived in all honesty.” He doesn’t believe his own lie.

“How about we just get out of here and back to the stage?” Jongin reasoned with them. “This place frightens me.”

“There is nothing to be afraid of here.” Sehun tells them without thinking. As the words leave his mouth, he realizes that he himself is not afraid of what he just encountered with, if at all real. He doesn’t want to leave, and that is the most frighten factor of it all.

The next day following, Luhan wakes up with a terrible case of the flu and cannot even stand for more than a minute, much less perform that night. The stage crew and the performers are in a frizzy with the sudden change in staff numbers. Kyungsoo is given the part of singing Luhan’s role and Sehun is given the task of dancing with Jongin in that certain but important part of the play, where Kyungsoo will simply sit and watch them on the stage, as if he is a member of the audience himself.

The show goes on and he and Jongin dance together naturally and perform well. It wasn’t till after the show when everyone back stage tells him that he was fantastic and the audience loved him and the other boy. Sehun mainly assumed most of the affection was for Jongin since he was much more talented and handsome, but after the final bow, many admirers came up to him and handed him so many flowers and letters of their love for him and his performance.

He is truly flattered with the credibility, especially with the way Luhan compliments on him like a lover, but he doesn’t want the fondness or the attention from anyone, especially the other boy, so he mainly hides in his dressing room, avoiding the roaring party on the other side of the door.

He sits and numbly listens to the music and cheers from the party as he counts the petals on one of the bouquets on his vanity. He has changed back into his own clothes and is ready to settle himself for the night and get some must needed rest, but he waits for the party to end to make his sneaky escape to his room. He doesn’t want to deal with the self-claimed lovers outside. He rather not hears the compliments that he knew he shouldn’t believe.

“Sehun…”

The boy sits up in his seat and looks around him. He feels the chilling wind again and the presence of another person in the room with him. He knows that voice. He’s been thinking about it since the past night.

“Hello?” He calls out again, hoping for an answer this time.

“Bravo. Bravo, darling. You were breathtaking…”

Sehun nearly feels himself become light headed at the response. He lets himself smile and looks around again for a figure in the room with him. He sees no one, only his own reflection in the small mirror of the vanity. He notices that the voice resembles like a man.

“Where are you?” He dares asked the air around him. “Please… I just want to see you. Or at least hear you speak more, please.”

Sehun listens intensely to around him. He begins to think that he somehow chased the voice away from him and he nearly dies at the thought. He wants to grab his hair in frustration till the smallest whisper invades the atmosphere again.

“Meet me where we first met tonight… And maybe…”

Sehun nearly misses the last few words from the decrescendo at the end of the sentence. He agrees to the arrangement with the voice, nodding his head as if it could actually see him. He waits patiently in his room till hours later, when he knows it safe to slip away to the stage.

He walks onto the stage, checking to see if anyone is behind him, and then advances onto the darkness that he was presented in once before. He walks slowly and carefully into the unknown, noticing again how unafraid he was in the odd space.

He listens for any kind of music to be played for him, almost mentally pleading for some kind of hum.

“I’m here…” He announces to the air around him, hoping to trigger some kind of reaction.

“Sehun, what in the world are you doing here?” Sehun jolts back as he turns around to find Luhan behind him. He almost cursed the boy as he sees Jongin follow into view.

“Why are you here?” Sehun asked them, trying to control his hyped heart rate.

“We were looking for you,” Jongin explains. “You weren’t at the party at all tonight, and you weren’t in your dressing room like we thought. We went to check your room but found you wondering out here again.”

Sehun was almost embarrassed by the fact that they caught him coming onto the stage. He thought he was better at being hidden away than that.

“I’m sorry. I’m just reminiscing…” Sehun ponds off another weak excuse. He can already tell that he won’t hear the voice again tonight and is mournful from the disappointing change in events.

Time passes and Sehun begins to think that he might be losing his mind. His hearing voices that are not there, that no one else hears, usually in the form of effortless breaths of his own name. He sometimes feels a random chill of ice cold wind bursting onto his back at night while he lays awake in bed, trying to sleep. He sometimes feels eyes on his body afterwards and instead of feeling violated, he feels safe and more cared for then he has in years.

Another part of him begins to consider that maybe the voice is actually someone he knows. He mainly expects Luhan when he considers this theory, since he was the most fitting for this spot. He still looks at Sehun dearly when they stand apart in the same room, and Sehun only keeps his own sight away from him. He does nothing that might give the boy the slightest hope that he might actually be interest in him. He was still polite and friendly to the boy, who really was a decent lab and great singer.

Sehun simply didn’t want the same as him. He couldn’t put himself through at again, knowing how it will end before it even begins.

This certain thought inside his head was soon dismissed in the most surprising and dramatic way.

One of the practices on a late afternoon held this discovery, and Sehun was simply standing by himself as he watches Jongin begin his assigned routine. Luhan makes his way over to him and stands beside him. They make very small talk before Luhan is called into the center stage for his big solo.

Luhan lays his hand on top of Sehun’s shoulder with gentle fingers and slides them down as he walks away from the boy with a soft smile. Sehun lets his hand go but doesn’t let it go past his elbow when he slightly pulls away from his touch.

Nothing eye-catching happen there. No one saw the awkward exchange but for them who were involved in it.

So, when the next three minutes pass and the whoosh of rubbing rope came over the music from above them, Sehun feels his body tense as he sees Luhan and the other performers dash off the stage to safety from the three large and heavy sand bags that landed harshly onto the stage floor. There could have easily been an injury or even death.

“How dare he touch you like that!”

Sehun turned around to the empty and dark space behind him. He knows what he heard at that moment, the severity of that tone being unmissable in that unmistakable voice.

He also knew that it wasn’t Luhan who said it, meaning that Sehun was at a bigger loss then before when it came to solve the mysterious admirer he found himself to have. He somehow was still unafraid, despite it all.

They next opening night arrives soon enough with a new production to show. Sehun is paired up with Jongin again. The crowd cheers for them and give them both a standing ovation once they are done. Sehun can already tell that the attention will be worse by the way the crowd cheers for him and Jongin during the final bow.

Sehun begins to unbutton his costume as he walks to the backstage. He quickly changes into his own clothes and coat and slides out the back door before anyone could ask him where he was going and why he was leaving. He had to get away from husky heat of strangers’ bodies so close to him. He walked out into the freezing winter night and greeted the sensation on his skin happily. He found himself favoring the cold more than the heat for some reason.

He avoids the crowd of people that were exiting out of the opera house and tried to hide himself away in the city streets. He just needed space away from everyone who wanted to congratulate him. He never liked the one on one connection with fans, he always preferred the awarding yet distant applauses. He never wanted to get too close to too many people.

He wonders the streets of the sleepy city before coming across a large brick building that he found himself familiar with. It was the church that he wanted to get married in all those years ago, before everything fell apart. He always liked the view of the stone craved angels in the garden surrounded by the winter snow. He went inside the building since the doors where open.

The church was empty and he soon found himself in the chapel room where he once planned to walk down the aisle. He used to see it all happening around so clearly as if it already happens. He couldn’t even mustard the energy to recall the slightest detail now.

He wonders to himself if love is worth it again, a common debate inside his own head. And if it was, should he actually let himself mangle with it. He just wanted to be happy and avoiding the trap like emotion seemed to be the best way to ensure that.

Yet, he thinks about the past few weeks, back to when he first heard the voice and its beautiful singing and playing. He doesn’t like how he thinks about it when he thinks about love, but he does, making the matter all the more difficult.

It was almost killing him. He wanted to hear that song again, to hear the voice and its singing and its playing and its speaking. He wanted a face to the harmony of heaven and to hold the person in his own arms, to really feel them. He wanted to feel the entirety of that coldness and warmth on his own skin and to overwhelmed by it.

He was far more then curious or in trance by the voice; he had let the voice consume him entirely in sound and body. He let the voice take over like a controlling force, and in such little time too. He had a bad habit of letting himself do that.

He didn’t even know who the voice was and didn’t have the slightest clue of who. He was at a total loss.

It still could be all in his head, and that he truly was slowly going mad. He could be in love with a ghost or even a monster of the night. The voice could be an angel or even Satan himself. Sehun didn’t know, and a part of him didn’t care, as long as he could actually have it in the end. If there was a possible ending for them that wouldn’t leave him in pain and sorrow.

Just then the old organ stationed at the top level of the church hall began to play with a harsh chord of sharp notes. It makes Sehun jump at first, wondering what was happening around him. He looks up to the organ being played by an undistinguishable figure. The white moonlight from the tall windows beside him could not reach the figure, making the figure blend into the blackness around him.

Sehun recognized the song right away despite the octave change. It was the voice. He waits for the singing, but it doesn’t come.

Sehun walks forward to the organ playing on the other side of the hall, passing the wooden seating rows as he came closer to his own physical mystery. He wants to see him. He wants this mystery of allurement solved and put to rest because his body was about to break and fade into dust if he did not know the truth any longer. They never been so close then now. This was his only chance.

“Sehun?” The doors to the chapel open again and the windy cold air fills the hall. Sehun turns around the find only a messily dressed Luhan there. He notices that the music has stopped playing and only finds an empty organ when he turns again.

“What are you doing here?” Luhan asks the other boy in the church, walking towards him. Sehun can tell that he’s very tipsy, if not drunk, by the way, he cannot walk in a straight line.

“Why are you following me?” Sehun tries to keep his voice level from the annoyance developing in his stomach and the despair stinging in his eyes.

Luhan chuckles at him as he walks up to him, standing mainly on one foot for balance. “I wanted to tell you that you were so beautiful tonight. Like you are every night really…”

“Thank you.” Sehun bows to him in gratefulness. “You did very well tonight as well.”

“But you stole the show. Everyone just talks about the blonde boy who bends his limbs and torso so gracefully…” Luhan looks at him with a shining look in his eyes that Sehun didn’t care for. He took a step back from the older boy.

“Sehun,” Luhan begins. “There’s something I need to tell you.” The boy hiccups then and begin to laugh about it on his own. Sehun turns back to the empty organ and the despair in his eyes spread to the rest of his body. He realizes what this feeling of missing loss means for his emotions towards the voice, and he knows that he cannot reverse what he let himself fall into again. He doesn’t feel as mournful for the careless action as much as he feels for the still empty seat at the organ and the forever lost opportunity. He fell in love with dark shadows and alluring air.

He numbly listens to the older boy beside him as he confesses his undying love for him and how he would consider himself honored if he would accept him as a husband. He goes on saying that he would love to make him happy forever and have a very long and fore filling life with him and so on and so on…

Sehun can only think of the voice and can only feel the settling notion in his soul that he vaguely recalled back in his youth. This time, the feeling was more tender than before, and the raging and aggressive flames have merely simmered down to a comfortable and caring touch to his heart.

“No.” Sehun finally declares, cutting the drunk boy off completely.

“Pardon?”

“No. I’m sorry but I can’t marry you.” Sehun becomes flustered and suddenly has the driven need to get out now.

“Is there someone else?” Luhan asks him.

“I just-“ Sehun begin to turn, but he can already see the empty organ in his mind. The tears fall down his cheeks then and he lets out a breathy sob against his will.

“You’re crying. Sehun, I’m so sorry.” Luhan reaches for him to comfort him but the younger boy simply dashes out pass him and runs out to into the cold night. He can’t. He just can’t, but yet he does.

Weeks go by and Sehun hasn’t heard the voice in any way. He feels as if he has done something wrong.

He knows for sure his done something wrong with the way Luhan avoids him whenever they share a space together. The once cute smiles that the older boy use to send his way were now only glares and rolling eyes. Sehun tried not to look at him even more than before.

They next play is soon announced and the roles are called off soon afterward. Luhan was granted his usual lime light, but Sehun was honored by the role of the main dancer for the play which was usually given to Jongin.

Once it was announced, Xiumin and Jongdae sent a smile his way as Jongin began to jump in joy for him. Sehun was proud of himself and let himself smile.

That smile soon deflated after practice when Sehun went up to thank the two owners and found them with Luhan who left quickly once he saw that Sehun was there. He looked displeased and the owners look troubled.

Sehun still went up and thanked them greatly for the opportunity, but he already knew that it was gone for him. The next day came and the role of the main dancer was transferred to Jongin from himself. When Sehun asked why, Jongin told him that Luhan stated that he wouldn’t dance with him and threaten to quit the play altogether if he was made to dance with anyone else other than Jongin.

Sehun told his friend that it was okay, and that he didn’t blame him or his brothers for the change. He understood the situation and still felt the same for the men that took him in as if he was family. He did, however, change his mind on his thoughts about Luhan.

The smaller boy constantly stared at him that day after, looking for the slightly irked expression. Sehun gave him none. He rather dances with Kyungsoo anyway. He felt sorrier about that then anything, feeling as if he stolen the dream come to life for his friend, who would have danced with him instead if things went the way they should have. He thought about the voice again, and still felt the gentle sensation in his soul. He missed it and longed to heard it again.

It was later that day, well after midnight, when he was lying in bed, reading his line again, when Luhan burst through the door. He was stumbling and holding an empty glass bottle. It was the same bottle he threw at Sehun’s head, which he barely escaped by ducking.

The older boy began to shout in the mix of the echo of shattering glass in the aftermath. He cursed at Sehun and demanded to know why he denied his truthful and loving confessions and offer of marriage. He demanded to know who his other lover was, and why he was capable and worth of him instead of himself.

“Who is he!?” A group of men began to pick the small boy up and try to carry him out of the room as he fought against them. “Is he the same one who was in your dressing room that night?! The one who gave you nothing but cliché saying to get into your pants!?”

The drunken boy was taken out then, and Sehun didn’t breathe again till he knew that everyone around him was gone. He couldn’t tell Luhan he was wrong. He mentally prayed to the voice to speak to him again that night and cried stuffily into his now alcohol stained pillow when he was only greeted with silence again. He only wished for his lullaby again.

The next opening night comes along and the show goes on smoothly through the first two act. In the opening of the third act, where Luhan’s character opened up the seen to the audience, Sehun was dressing himself for the dance he would soon do with Kyungsoo. He stops at the steady intensity that falls over everyone back stage and hears the audiences gasp. He makes his way to Jongin and they both stand to the side to see Luhan on center stage, struggling to speak as he seemly chokes on air.

Finally, a loud croak erupts from his throat and the cry is soon greeted with laughs. It didn’t help that he continued trying to speak and ended up the same result each time, making him look like a roaring frog on stage.

The boy runs off to the side of the stage and the curtain close again. Xiumin and Jongdae are there before Sehun and Jongin.

“What’s wrong with you?” Xiumin required and only received deeper croak in response. All of them look at the boy with absolute confusion. None of them have seen this before.

A shiver went down his spine when he thought back to the time Luhan was almost crushed under the props and the voice’s statement behind him after it. He

“We need to get you to the doctor.” Jongdae orders a few lads to take the man to the local doctor.

“What now?”

“Kyungsoo!”

The owners quickly assigned the main role to Kyungsoo since he knew all the lines. They left the other performers to decide the downward effect of the changing of roles, which caused chaos to quickly unfold.

Sehun soon had to change his costume again and Jongin was behind him changing as well. The older boy suddenly stopped his movements, becoming still amongst all the moving bodies dashing around him. They were only given three minutes before restarting the show and didn’t have the time to waste.

“Jongin?” Sehun tries to snap him back into reality.

“Yes?”

“Quickly. We have to get ready.”

“Oh yes!” The older boy says too loudly. “Of course, I was just thinking about having the pleasure to dance with Kyungsoo after all.”

Sehun clearly saw the dreamy gleam in his eyes, but he could also see the lie that trembled out of his mouth in his weak explanation. He simply pushed it off to fuss over some other time, as the time was called.

The rest of the performance went beautifully and Sehun watched happily as his friend held onto his love interest both on and off stage. The after party was almost as lively as the performance with the workers and performers bragging that the critics were calling that the best show that the Opera House ever performed, despite the incident with Luhan.

Sehun would have happily joined them all, but he knew other matters had to be addressed first. He stayed in his dressing room, sitting alone once the doors closed to adoring fans that gave him an endlessly number of gifts. Mostly flowers and chocolates, and even a white fluffy puppy that was fast asleep on the nearby ottoman.

Once the noise outside his room numbed down from behind the walls, Sehun waited for any sign of life from the air around him. He was almost desperate for it.

“Sehun…”

Sehun raises his head to the faintest whisper he ever heard. He almost questioned himself that he was not only simply hearing what he wanted to hear.

“Yes?” He called out delicately. A moment goes by.

“You were purely elegant tonight. You deserve more of the spot light.”

“Thank you.” He simply says, lowering his head from the blush in his cheeks. “Can we speak again tonight? Backstage, when everyone else is away?”

Another moment goes by, even longer than before and Sehun thinks he lost him again. He begins to feel defeat and lonely again, almost hitting himself in self-hatred.

“If that is what you wish, darling…”

“It is.”

There was no response, but he knew they were in agreement.

Time passes slowly till Sehun can finally hear almost no talking outside his room and he quickly and quietly makes his way to the stage. He double checks to make sure no one is behind him before walking willingly into the darkness that soon surrounds him.

The music begins to play soon after, leading him the way through the dark. He oddly finds comfort in the absence of light and welcomes the chilling air that collides with his body once he expects that he reaches his stopping point.

He takes a moment to think of how he was going to speak, of what exactly he was going to say.

“Was it you who committed those acts against Luhan earlier?” He asks the open air around him.

“The boy got what he deserved.”

The voice answered in a grave and dark tone as if he was offending himself.

“Why?” Sehun breathed.

“You don’t deserve to be spoken to like that.”

Sehun recalls the night when Luhan caused an outburst in his room, yelling at him and throwing a bottle at his head. The voice was there that night and he saw it. Sehun felt so alone then, to only not be. He wondered if he was ever truly alone.

“You did it for me?” Sehun came to conclusion.

There was no reply and he took that as his answer.

“I’ve had a lot of men talk to me like that. Most men do talk like that to me.” Sehun risked challenging the voice, wanting to know and hear more like the sickly fallen fool he was.

“You deserve so much better, darling…”

“You say it as if you love me.” Sehun lets the though fall out of his mouth, no longer feeling his fingers or his desire to stop and respect the limits he was pushing.

There is once again an absence of noise and Sehun wants to believe that its true. He never really had someone tell him he deserved better than the common vulgar he receives from other men in terms of attraction and romance. He just assumes that he wasn’t worth more than that. He let the compliment settle within his burning cheeks and sink into his pores.

“Normally, lovers know each other’s name,” Sehun states the comment with causation, hoping the voice doesn’t fade away from him just yet. He just wanted a little bit of information about him. Just something would be enough.

“Suho.”

Sehun hears him and feels the coldness now reach his toes. He moves then to make the blood underneath his skin warm again.

“Suho…” He repeats after him, liking the way the sweet sound passes through his teeth in a dainty tone. He runs his tongue over his lips to observe more of the touch. He is glad and he cannot describe the feeling that blooms inside him. It’s both warm and cold and it makes him feels different than anything else. He smiles as he says his name again.

“Suho… That means ‘guardian’ doesn’t it?”

”Yes, it does.”

“Are you the guardian of the opera house?” Sehun bits his bottom lip, sucking the taste left on them.

“I like to consider myself your guardian angel.”

Sehun nearly dies at the confession but he still feels the odd sensation in his stomach and he only smiles more.

“I like to think that too.”

There’s a moment of comfortable silence between them, and Sehun is peaceful with himself for the first time in weeks.

He contains the feeling in his stomach more as the sound of something small being dropped before him. He jumps back slightly as it scatters and settle on the floor. He reaches down and search for it before feeling it touch his cold skin. He snatches it up in this hand but cannot see it due to the darkness around him.

He is about to ask Suho what it is, before the chilling air around him suddenly lift up from the atmosphere around him. He sees a light coming from behind him and sees a single candle light out in the distance for him. Sehun makes his way to the candle and soon finds himself back onto the stage, without realizing where his movements where taking him.

Sehun using the candle to expect the small item in his hand and finds it to be a single ring of a black material. The ring is smooth and holds no designs. It’s simple to Sehun and he likes it, slipping it onto his ring finger on his left hand. It fits better than his late wedding band.

Spring eventually arrives and the night of the annual ball comes soon afterwards. Sehun was coming alone, since his usually company was with a certain vocalist. He met Jongin and Kyungsoo out in front of the house, by the steps. Kyungsoo was a gentleman and walked him in as well.

The theme this year was masquerade and it was almost overwhelming seeing all the masked people around him. He couldn’t tell who was who and he wondered if anyone else thought the same for him. He doubted it, since he was one of the only two blondes in the line of dancers and the other boy was the only one with a shaved haircut.

The masquerade was a time for celebration and enjoyment, for all of the performers, the critics, the donators, and the owners. Sehun always looked forward to it all, loving the dances and the music playing. The party was already in full bloom once they arrived inside in the long line entering in. Sehun took a spare glass of champagne on a waitress’s and sips it.

“Jongin, who is that standing with your brother and Jongdae?” Kyungsoo asked the other boy. Sehun looked farther down the steps and line to find the two standing with another dark figure. All three of them were shaking hands with all the guest entering.

“That’s my brother,” Jongin said. “Did you not know that I had another brother?”

Kyungsoo looked back at Sehun who was just as surprised as him.

“Pardon?”

“I am the youngest of two. The oldest is Xiumin and the second is my brother Junmyeon.”

“I didn’t know you had another brother.” Sehun thought he drunk the champagne too fast.

“He’s a very private person.” Jongin smiled shyly. “He mainly maintains the financial books for the Opera House, but he does come to every show. We save box office number one for him every time.”

“I see.” Out of all the years, he was performing at the Kim Opera House, he never noticed that Jongin had another brother, nor the fact that the box office was actually saved for someone. He always saw it empty in every performance.

“Come meet him.” Jongin pulls them excitingly. “He’s truly brilliant. You’ll love him.”

The three of them were pulled forward to the hosts of the party. All of them wore their own mask and if it wasn’t for Jongdae’s wavy brown locks, he won’t have known it was him in the middle.

“It’s good to see that our young and bright stars could make it this evening.” Jongdae greeted them with a handshake each.

“And our dear little brother.” Xiumin hugged Jongin’s shoulders with a proud smile.

“The party is beautiful, brother. Whose ever idea it was to have it a masquerade deserves an award.” Jongin stated and all of them laughed.

Sehun snuck a glance over to the other brother, Junmyeon, that stood in front of him. He was shorter than him, but still seem to stand so tall. He was dressed in a simple black tux and had a solid black leather mask that covered over half his face, only leaving the sight of his left cheek and mouth to be seen. A pair of thin glasses attached to a neck strap made of a slim golden chain hung over his neck and torso.

“Oh, my goodness.” Jongdae giggles loudly.

“Sehun, look to your right slowly,” Jongin orders him with a slight smile.

Sehun does as he’s told, see a large moving bundle of white feathers on top of a young woman head while she waddles in her ball gown. The woman was clinging to the arm of Luhan, who looked proud. He threw an arrogant smirk towards Sehun once he caught him looking, hoping to spite some envy in him.

Sehun turned back to the other five fellows and raised his glass for a drink.

“She’s a bloody chicken.” He mumbles as the others laugh. Sehun rise the glass up to drink the last of the champagne. He sees Junmyeon’s lips curve slightly and pursed through the wet glass.

The ball is fantastic and Sehun is having the time of his life. He dances with almost everyone he cares for and avoids Luhan whenever he sees him and expects him to make his way over to him. He can hide in the crowds of people easily, thankfully.

The final dance was called and it was usually the big dance where people form a circle and trade off partners. It was supposed to bring everyone in, but Sehun found himself without a partner fairly quickly, since Jongin was with Kyungsoo, and he was not going to dance with Luhan since he already had a date. He was about to take a break and rest against the wall, and just enjoy the sight of everyone dancing till he saw a tall and dark figure approach him.

Sehun turned to find Junmyeon walking towards him, and he maintains a straight face while looking at the other male, who bowed before speaking.

“There is not only one man here who finds you a suitable dancing partner, Mr. Oh.”

Sehun could have died right there. It was the voice. He knew it. It was the voice. It was Suho.

But was it? Sehun began to second guess himself in disbelief, gawking at the man before him with a surprise and hesitant expression. He felt numb when the man held out his pale left hand and he saw a black ring on his own finger.

Sehun took his hand after a long moment, and they walked together to the crowd forming and waiting for the music to play. Sehun still didn’t believe what was happening and began to confirm his belief that he was going mad and only seeing and hearing what he wanted this man to be.

He hadn’t held another conversation with Suho since that night where he received the ring, but there were small tempts of communication between the two, like Suho would still leave a sweet compliment for him in his dressing room after every performance, and there were the few nights where Sehun would call out a goodnight to the air around him, and actually receive one back. He like the idea of having the voice near him during the night. It was the closest he ever got to a loving night with him.

But could this man, who was pale and quiet, actually be Suho? Could the voice he fallen for actually be from a human being with a beating heart and working brain? And if so, why now in this setting to meet face to face, and not have the proper encounter in the beginning?

Sehun always assumed that the voice was something he could never see. That it was his mind playing and creating voices in his own ears. Or it was someone he already knew, but they didn’t want to relive themselves. But he didn’t even know that Junmyeon existed till hours prior, so how could this be possible?

Yet, it was the voice coming out of his mouth. There was no doubt in his mind. But yet, he wasn’t sure if this was Suho.

Junmyeon and he stood next in the circle by Jongin and Kyungsoo, facing each other in uniform.

“It’s good to finally see you actually dance for once, dear brother.” Jongin chanted over to them.

“Well, I saw Sehun standing all alone and thought I try for the honor to have a small dance with him since I saw practically everyone else beforehand fighting over him.” They all laughed at the claim and Sehun actually smiles, wanting to believe that the voice would actually say that about him.

The music begins and the two men dance along with each other in a line with all the other guests. Sehun is almost dizzy from being so close to the other man, even though he can’t even see half of his face. They move together with ease, and Sehun become comfortable.

The dance goes on and Sehun tries to think of something to say to hear more of the voice. He didn’t know rather to require bluntly what he was almost dying to know or to act like he didn’t know a single thing or to speak at all. But he did know that he needed a solid yes to know if this was true or not. He needed to hear that answer from the voice himself.

Over Junmyeon’s shoulder, Sehun sees Luhan swirling up behind the other lad and Sehun realizes this is the part of the music where they switch partners.

Sehun recalls of dropping props and croaking frogs and knows the end result of the partner exchange, if it happens. Sehun grabs Junmyeon by the shoulders and twists him away from the couple behind him.

Junmyeon looks at him with a confused raise of the brow. “Weren’t we supposed to switch partners just now?”

“I didn’t want to,” Sehun stated. Knowing that was mostly, but not completely true. He didn’t want to separate from him if it truly was Suho. He wanted him to be Suho so bad, but he also didn’t want the masquerade to end up as a massacre.

Sehun looks behind him to see Luhan with the same partner as before and he was making his way over to them again. Sehun turned back to Junmyeon and took his hand with him. He ordered the other one to follow him as they escaped the crowd around them and rushed out of the opera house.

They usher out into the night and begin to go down the steps as Sehun tries to think of something to do. What was he supposed to do? He had no earthly clue.

He suddenly stops halfway down the steps and turns back to the man obediently following behind him. He looks up to the man who seems to calm considering the fact that Sehun just took him away from the party and everyone else around him, including his brothers. The man gave out no disapproval of Sehun’s actions, like he didn’t mind. But he also questioned about the changing of partners, which Sehun didn’t expect from the real Suho either.

Sehun put his head into his hands. He was overthinking everything around him and over studying every action. He didn’t know what he was doing.

He rips his godly mask off and tosses it on the group beside him, no longer caring for the special accessory. He rubs his face and tried to think with the chilly wind whistling in his ear.

“Are you alright?” Junmyeon inquiries from him in an evenly and compassionate tone. The voice was almost too much for him to bare at the moment.

“No. Yes. I mean…” Sehun can’t finish his thoughts and doesn’t know what to say. He feels overwhelmed and as if he has to prove himself first before he can see if this is really Suho. Sehun looks up to Junmyeon and sees that he calms and collected, looking at Sehun with patience.

“Is it really you?” Sehun finally says. He can’t go on pretending and debating.

Junmyeon only looks at him and Sehun finds himself too familiar with that type of silence as his answer.

The other man takes his hand into his and Sehun sees the black ring on his spare hand again as he takes his own hand that wears the same ring. Was that another image made up in his head, along with the burning of his skin.

“Your hands are cold.” Junmyeon holds mainly his fingers and graces his thumb over the back of his hand.

Sehun looks back up at the man who glances shyly at him through his mask. Sehun wants to rip it off of his face and see what lays underneath.

“Please…” Sehun feels his throat become tight. He’s tired and tears begin to form in his eyes. He tries to keep his jaw still. “Is it really you, my angel?”

“I found you!”

Junmyeon and him both jump at the shout behind them. Junmyeon comes closer to him, down to the same step, as they turn to find Luhan there, pointing at them like he just caught them in a crime. Junmyeon raises a protective arm to guard his side.

“I finally caught you!”

“Don’t you have someone else to annoy with your existence?” Sehun snaps at the older boy. He hates the fact that he always comes in these moments when he doesn’t need to.

“So, is this him?” Luhan inquiries of him, like he has a right to know.

“Him who?”

“Oh, don’t even act like you don’t know what I’m asking! Is this your lover?” Luhan demands.

“And if it is?” Sehun shot back at him. “What is it to you?”

“You’re stand awfully close to him for him to be anything less!” Luhan points again.

“I can stand as close to him as I please!” Sehun then pulls Junmyeon closer to him, closing the gap between them till they were chest to chest.

“Oh, now you just look like a street hood tramp!” Luhan insults him and he feels the grip on his hip tighten dangerously.

Before any more could be said, more shouts are called out towards the three of them. “Junmyeon! Sehun!”

Rushing past Luhan, Jongin makes his way over to the two of them in concern. Kyungsoo and Luhan’s date are not far behind. “I saw you two running out of the dance earlier. Are you alright, brother? I demand to know what’s going on.”

“Brother?” Luhan questions.

“Yes, brother. This is Junmyeon, my older brother who owns a third of this opera house.” Jongin snaps at Luhan, glaring viciously.

“Oh,” Luhan states quietly.

“Yes.” Junmyeon almost growls as he turns to the boy with a spiteful look in his eyes. “And for someone who was gifted with such a lovely voice, I must say it’s a pitiful shame that you use it to say such fowl and awful things against those who do not live up them. Why don’t you turn to you own date to say them to, since she seems to fit the title better.”

The girl’s mouth drops in offense along with Luhan’s. Sehun’s drops in surprise. He knows that grave tone. It wasn’t the first time he heard it snarl toward the vocalist.

Junmyeon departs himself from Sehun and his brother to make his way back up the steps alone. He doesn’t turn back to bid any of them a good night. Kyungsoo doesn’t look up to watch him walk by him.

“Junmyeon wait!” Sehun moves to chase after him, but Jongin holds him back.

“Don’t Sehun.” He mumbled in his ear full of warning. “He needs to be alone.”

Sehun struggles but eventually watches the moving figure in the distance fade into the night.

“Suho…”

The night passes and the next morning, the new play is announced with assigned parts. It’s a quiet shock to everyone when Luhan’s name is not called for the main lead. There’s an actual gasp when it turns out he has been assigned none of the acting parts.

Later that night, Jongin comes to Sehun’s room, telling him to follow him quickly. The older boy leads him to the stairs and they lower themselves out of sight as they watch as Luhan has servants carry his belongings out of the opera house.

“He’s officially quit. He promised to never step foot in this opera house again.”

“Thank Christ himself.” Sehun utters as he praises the Lord.

“It was a rather ugly augment. But Xiumin refused to change his mind. He was going to make Luhan work his way up to get the roles he wanted. He felt insulted and finally quit.” Jongin informs him as the last one of Luhan’s chests is taken out. Xiumin and Jongdae walk out the give Luhan his last paycheck and the three men part ways.

“Is this because of what happen last night?” Sehun asks the blonde boy beside him. Jongin doesn’t answer. He begins to believe the lack of answering is a family trait.

The main vocal lead is given to Jongdae due to the lack of performers. The older boy insisted that the lead be given to Kyungsoo, but he refused the offer. This decision was made after Jongin persuaded his older brothers to give Sehun the lead dancers role, giving himself second. Sehun knew what the two were up to this little scam. They weren’t that good as actors.

Sehun also received a solo with the part, which was his first one in his whole career as a dancer. He practiced it nonstop, day and night, to where he felt like it was perfect. When he wasn’t doing that, he was thinking about Junmyeon or Suho or whoever the hell he was.

He thought about how they had to be the same person with the same life-saving voice and black ring. Sehun still doubted himself on the judgement of matter, but he was almost letting himself believe it out of his own wanting need for it. He was desperate for it to be true, that he didn’t know how he would handle it if it didn’t turn out to be true. He kept dancing to keep himself distracted from that thought.

Sehun doesn’t practice the dance routine with music till the morning before the opening night. He sees the orchestra director conduct Jongdae from the piano before he begins. But the first measure of quarter notes, he can alright tell that it’s the same song that Suho plays for him at night. Jongdae’s singing does not compare to the voice’s welcoming tone.

The show goes on smoothly that night, leaving Sehun to perform his dance near the end of the final act. He stands in the center of the stage once the curtain pulls apart to the new setting. He wears nothing more than a white shirt and tight trousers. He counts the beats before he hears the first note and begins to dance.

Sehun is so focused on his own work that he almost doesn’t notice the change of singing tone. It’s the voice.

Once he is finished, ending on one knee, he glances over to the orchestra pit, to find Junmyeon at the piano, looking up to him on the stage. The heartbeat in his ears is louder than the applause by a tenfold.

The final bow takes place and Sehun stands beside Jongdae as they walk off the stage. He asked the owner about the change at the end once they are back stage and out of site by the other performers.

Jongdae explains that Junmyeon loved that song and almost begged him to let him play it instead. Jongdae agreed because he knew that the older man was a better player and singer than him since he was once a famous pianist and vocalist at one of the finest school in the world.

“You probably know him better as his stage name Suho,” Jongdae told him and Sehun thought he finally gone mad.

It was later that night when Sehun decided to go on ahead to adventure on backstage, knowing full and well he couldn’t hold himself to wait till later. He received even more gifts from even more admirers, all of them stating that his performance was so beautifully done. He was grateful, but he was more determined to see Suho.

He demanded answers once and for all, or else his heart would be able to take it. He couldn’t go on to play games like this.

Sehun walked into the darkness and stopped once he considered himself far enough. There was no singing or playing, but he could tell he wasn’t alone.

“Suho.” He called into the air, his breath shaking.

“Yes, darling?”

Sehun opened his mouth to respond but he could speak. He took a breath and let out his heart.

“I love you.”

Dead silence filled the space around him. He could feel the cold breeze on his body suddenly disappear and he thought the world stopped turning.

“I thought you didn’t believe in love.” The voice spoke after a very long moment.

“I believed in love, but I didn’t think it was worth it when all it brought was pain and sadness… Or at least, I use to…” Sehun swallowed hard. “I just want to see you, again… Please?”

There was another moment of still air. Sehun thinks that everything is over for a second, that he just destroyed everything he barely had with the voice, till he sees movement in the dark in front of him. He wasn’t able to make it out at first, but he soon realizes that a wall was being lifted up in front of him, and it relieved a passageway. In the opening, was a lit candlestick.

Sehun moved forward carefully and picked up the light provided for him. He travels down the passageway slowly, seeing that it was made of brick and was as cold as the wind he normally experiences with the voice.

Sehun walks down the declining tunnel for a long time, till he comes around the corner to a wide and open space of a room. The room is filled with all kinds of dripping wax candles, along with books and papers spread out across the floor and walls. A spare piano is hidden in the corner, the black material almost blending in with the dark, almost like the dark figure in the middle of the room, with a black leather mask on.

Sehun comes fully into the room, still holding up his candles to see what was in front of him. He watched as the masked man that he knew as Junmyeon take off his mask to relieve his actual face.

He has feathery black hair swiped to one side, showing most of his wide forehead. His pale skin reminded Sehun of marble sculpture of god-like beings, along with is broad shoulders and v-shaped frame. His lips were slightly plum and his neck was almost too meaty for his head. The glasses that were once around his neck were now on his face, the golden chain glistering in the candlelight. The glasses were half framed on the bottom, and they seemed to make his face appear almost skull like, with hollow cheeks and high cheek bones.

Sehun thought he was beautiful. He never considered such a beautiful thing to be hidden away in the dark like this, to only have a voice to be seen. Maybe it was because the world wasn’t ready for this kind of extremely beauty. Sehun knew he wasn’t with the way his breath left him.

Sehun set down the candle stick on a nearby stone table and faced the individual in front of him.

“So, it is you.”

“Yes.” Junmyeon finally gives him his much-needed answer. This was the voice, in flesh and blood. This was Suho, his guardian angel.

“Why didn’t you say so the night of the masquerade?”

“I didn’t know if you would want the truth as the answer,” Junmyeon tells him and Sehun understands. The voice was afraid of rejection, of getting heartbroken.

“Why do you hide away like this?” Sehun referrers to the room they are in.

Junmyeon shifts awkwardly on his feet. “I’m a very remote person. I rather expression my work without any type of human interaction.”

“So, you didn’t want to interact with me?”

“You are my only expectation to that matter and have been the sole one throughout my whole life.”

Sehun doesn’t know how to respond to that. He looks down as he feels himself grow warm in the face. He looks up to find Junmyeon shyly looking at him again. His eyes were golden like in the candle light, and Sehun liked the way the flame flickered in his irises.

“Why did it take so long for us to come to this? Finally meeting face to face, knowing who’s who this time.”

“You were fearful of love,” Junmyeon explains. “And I was afraid of never having you as I wanted if you took my approach as forceful.”

Sehun never had someone respect his wishes like that before. He never felt like someone actually cared that deeply for him before, enough to put his needs over their own. His parents and friends of course did, but for someone he never met till now, someone he had so little contact with and knowledge of...

“So, it was all you?” Sehun suddenly comes to the conclusion. “The piano playing and singing?”

“Yes.”

“And you wrote all those works that I recently performed in?”

“I have written every single work performed here at this opera house.”

Sehun didn’t expect that, but it made sense of the earlier explanation of expressing his work. It also explained all the music sheets scattered everywhere. He wrote all the plays, from the actor’s lines to the orchestra pieces, even his own dance routines.
For all these years, Sehun was bringing his work to life and he didn’t even know it. He thought about the empty office box number one again.

“And everything that happened to Luhan? That was also you?”

Junmyeon did not answer him. He simply cut off the eye contact they shared, looking over to the other side of the room. He took that as the answer he already knew.

“All because of me?” Sehun asked. “All for me?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Junmyeon only looked back up to him then, his eyes growing dark and serious. Sehun almost took a step back.

“The statement you made earlier…” Junmyeon spoke. “Did you truly mean it?”

“Yes.” Sehun nods, knowing what he was talking about. “Is it mutual?”

“Yes.”

Sehun felt the feeling inside his stomach expand through his whole body then, almost shaking in the aftershock. He couldn’t breathe for a moment as he felt himself seemingly flow into a brighter state.

He watched as Junmyeon looked away from his shyly, his slim cheeks reddening.

“I love you, too.” He watched as Junmyeon looked away from his shyly, his slim cheeks reddening. He couldn’t look Sehun in the eye while he stated it, and he knew that he meant it.

Sehun walked towards the man who was still looking down. Once he was close enough, he traced his arms upward to his head and held his face in his hands and he leaned down and placed his lips on his.

Junmyeon kissed him back, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around him, pulling them closer together and making Sehun take a sharp intake of air. Their lips moved seamlessly together and he combed his hands through his black hair as they deepen the passionate kiss.

Sehun never thought he could feel so light in his life.