Work Text:
"I remember you said, don't leave me here alone
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight"
“Tessa Jane McCormick Virtue”, the Capitol lady announced, reading from the piece of paper she had pulled from the jar. Tessa. Scott’s eyes darted immediately to meet hers, filled with panic and sorrow and shock. She offered him a trembling smile before leaving her chair slowly and walking to the stage. Her mom was screaming and her sister was crying somewhere in the back and all he could think was why and how.
Of course, they both always knew this was a possibility. The reaping was mandatory and even if her name were there just once (he never let her put her name more times in exchange for food, even if his was in the jar 10 times), in the end if you were unlucky enough you’d be chosen.
May the odds be ever in your favor.
It was bullshit. Things were not supposed to go this way.
He barely heard the name of the chosen male tribute, a short skinny blond boy that looked more like a child than a teen, before rising from his chair and walking to the front of the rows of children.
I volunteer. I volunteer. I volunteer.
They’ve always said that if one of them ever were chosen to the games, the other would volunteer, but none of them expected it to actually happen. He could see Tessa’s eyes get filled with tears and terror and anger and guilt, and his brothers holding him back. None of that mattered.
Scott stepped on the stage and took his place at Tessa’s side, taking her hand and squeezing it a little tighter than the necessary. They were both shaking. The Capitol lady praised his courage and bravery, talking about how special it was when someone volunteered. None of that mattered to him. He didn’t want glory, or riches, or to save that little boy’s life. He wanted to stand by her side, and hold her hand for as long as he could. That was his place, it always had been, even as little kids, even if they were both going to die.
___________________________
The rest of the day was a blur. He didn’t get an alone moment with her, every single minute filled with crying family members and capitol people looking at him like he was a freak, but he could see her eyes red and her face wet with tears and knew he was probably looking the same way. The whole thing felt like a funeral.
The last person he hugged was Tessa’s mom. “Thank you, thank you, thank you”. Scott did not have the strength to reply.
They were in a train before he could realize. Tessa still wouldn’t meet his eyes. Their mentor was harsh and rude, and also wouldn’t look him in the eyes. He understood it, probably wasn’t fun to lead kids to their death year after year. The capitol lady wouldn’t shut up and all he wanted was to be alone and to hug her as tight as he could while they still had the chance.
___________________________
“You’re an idiot, you know?”. They were finally alone. It was night and they were supposed to be sleeping but he was in her room and none of them seemed to be able close their eyes. His answer was to hug her. “You shouldn’t have done this”, Tessa whispered.
“I would never let you do this by yourself, kiddo”. He felt her tears wetting his shirt, and his own streaming down his face. “It doesn’t matter. Now we’re both going to die”. She let him go and sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at her hands. “No, stop this. Promise me, T. Promise we’ll both fight ‘till the end”. He sat by her side — always by her side — and took her hand.
“I’m not a murderer. I’m not strong enough to do this”.
“You are the smartest and strongest person I know, Virtue. We can do this”.
She looked at him, all green eyes and a soft smile. He needed to memorize that shade, that smile, the feel of her hands on his. He planned it on being his last thought.
“Fight until the end. Together”.
They held each other in silence all night, none of them being able to sleep. It wasn’t fair, it was heartbreaking and tragic. But at least they were not alone.
___________________________
Scott could hear the crowd roaring for the couple that went before them, a blonde girl and a tall boy that were career tributes and did not look very pleasant.
While they were dressed in golden armors, Tessa and Scott’s stylist chose a red and white jumpsuit, complete with maple leafs stamps that were the symbol of their district. Scott found it amazingly stupid.
“At least we’re dressed”, Tessa said when he pointed how tacky the outfits were. “Last year they sent two kids wearing nothing but fucking leafs”.
“Wouldn’t mind seeing you in nothing but leafs, Tess”. She sent him a dark look. Before she could answer, a short annoyed man with purple hair rushed them to the carriage and told them they were entering the arena in two minutes.
“Come here”, she said, pulling him into a tight hug, their faces glued against one another, their breaths synchronizing. “No matter what, we’re together, and no matter what, I love you. Remember that”, Scott whispered in her ear. “Together”, she murmured, her heart beating to the sound of his words. I love you, I love you, I love you.
They were still hugging when the vehicle entered the arena. The capitol citizens screamed and pointed at them, like they were circle animals. Scott hated that, the feeling of being observed and judged, but he knew Tessa hated it even more. They let go of the hug, but his arm was still placed in her waist, a tight grip that mentioned them both stead on their feet.
They looked at each other, eyes locked together. It was easier to ignore the crowd that way. He could never concentrate on his surroundings while she was looking at him like that. He ignored the crowd cheering, the cameras flashing or how the commentator mentioned he volunteered for her. All he could hear was their hearts beating at the same rhythm and their breathes in unison. All he could hear was Tessa’s smile. Together, together, together.
___________________________
Training was hell. Scott learned how to use a sword — he had quick instincts and fluid body movements, and was surprisingly skilled with it — and Tessa focused on learning herbs and fruits they could maybe have access in the arena. She learned how to make a fire and how to shoot with a bow and arrow (well, kind of), and could feel the career tributes’— Gabi and Guillaume, as their mentor told them — eyes burning her back whenever she passed. It was funny to Scott how they seemed to stare at them all day long and not look at each other ever. Even when they were chatting, their eyes seemed to always dart to their feet or above each other’s shoulders.
“It must be difficult. The only potential friend you have in this place no look at you”, Tessa said at dinner.
“Not everyone are you two, my dear”, the capitol lady said.
“They came here to win, not to make friends”, their mentor grumbled, “You two better remember that”.
“We know”. And they did know. They were reminded of that every day in the training sessions, by watching the careers handle with ease every single weapon thrust upon them. Scott knew his knowledge of trees and camping would not matter in a fight, that if it came to that there was nothing he could do to protect Tessa or himself.
“Why do they hate us, anyway?” Tessa asked, “It’s not like we’re a real threat but they seem to resent our entire existence”.
“You two gave quite a performance in the opening ceremony, heart eyes and everything. Sponsors are kind of obsessed with your fake tragic love, Tessa, and sponsors make a huge difference in the arena. Make sure to keep the act”.
It was not an act, Scott wanted to scream. It was not an act but he could hear Tessa’s brain engines ticking by his side and all he could do was stay silent.
___________________________
He received and eight, and Tessa received a seven in their tribute evaluations. The scores came as a shock to him, and Scott couldn’t stop wandering if the whole gossip surrounding them had something to do with it. The higher the note, more sponsors would pay attention, but also more tributes would try to kill them off quickly.
It was the night of their interviews, and Tessa looked beautiful in a white backless dress. He was in a simple white shirt and dark pants, and couldn’t think she looked like an angel. He also couldn’t stop thinking he had no idea how to make people love him in 15 minutes.
Tessa and him watched the careers’ interviews with interest, and they were both very light and rehearsed. They laughed at the blue-haired interviewer — Caesar — jokes in the right moment, told heartbreaking stories in the next and finished with the perfect anecdotes. Scott knew he and Tessa couldn’t replicate that effortlessness and easiness in their answers, nor should they try it.
“Tessa, you’re next”, their mentor said, and, thinking Scott wasn’t paying attention, “Remember what I told you”. She nodded slightly, and then tuned to Scott to give him and quick hug.
“You’re gonna be amazing, T”.
She entered the stage with confidence, giving Caesar a kiss on each cheek and a hug, before sitting down. Scott couldn’t stop thinking she seemed like she was born to do this.
“So, Tessa, what do you think of the Capitol until now?”.
“Oh, it’s beautiful and the food is amazing. Of course, I didn’t see much outside the training centers, but it’s very different from home”.
“Of course”, said the interviewer, smiling profusely, “Speaking about home, is there anything you would like to tell your family?”.
“I’d tell them I love them and I miss them and I think about them every single day. And that I’m fine and they shouldn’t worry, because Scott is with me and making sure I’m okay”.
Caesar’s smile seemed to grow at her mention of Scott. “Scott, he volunteered for you, didn’t he? Why do you think he did it?”.
“Well, we are best friends and we’ve known each other forever. We used to joke that if one of us ever got chosen to the games, we would volunteer to go with the other. I was angry at him in that moment, but I understand why he did it. I would have done the exact same thing for him, even if he never spoke to me again”.
“What a beautiful friendship”, he said, putting unnecessary emphasis in the word friend. “Are you sure it’s only friendship, miss Tessa?”.
Tessa laughed and blushed, like she was expecting to hear that question. “Our relationship it very special to us, and we love each other very much. Does that answer your question?”. Scott smiled at that answer, she was a pro.
“Well it certainly does. Thank you for being so candid with us, Miss Virtue”.
“Great interviews today, kid”. The mentor said, pouring a glass of scotch for himself and sitting by his side. Scott thought about his answers. I thank my lucky stars everyday for meeting Tessa. She doesn’t realize she keeps me alive. I might not have the power to do it for myself, but I will do it for Tess, We care more about each other than we do about ourselves. It was truly a great interview, and he could still hear the laugh-cries coming from the audience. “You two have just gained a bunch more sponsors. Credits to me, of course, but the star-crossed lovers thing helps”.
“I wasn’t faking”, he said, looking down and feeling the older man’s eyes observing him.
“I know. Look, kid, I know you want to save your best friend. God knows Tessa wants to save you two, but this is not a game where two can win”.
“I don’t care”.
“What?”.
“I don’t care. If it ever comes between saving my life and saving Tessa’s, you should save her. She is smarter and will make a better victor than me, you know that. Promise me that you will save her”.
The mentor took a few seconds to answer him.
“I would’ve saved her anyway. But sure, I promise. Whatever makes you happy”.
___________________________
Five, six, four, three, one and then Scott was immediately running in Tessa’s direction and away from the bloodbath at the cornucopia. He grabbed a backpack on the way and he was almost catching up to her when a tribute twice his size knocked him down.
He was trying to move, but the boy was holding him down and choking him and he couldn’t breathe couldn’t breathe couldn’t breathe.
Scott did not see Tessa running in his direction, or he would’ve told her to run away. He did not see her grabbing a sword — where did even get that? — and putting it through the other boy’s chest. All he saw was blood and a hand grabbing his — we need to run, Scott come on, please — and then they were in the forest running and she couldn’t stop crying and the shock was finally leaving his body and giving space to horror and fear.
They stopped running when their legs couldn’t go a centimeter further and sat by a tree, too tired to care if someone was coming.
“I killed someone. Scott, I killed someone”. She stated in horror at herself, staring at her hands. “I killed a boy”.
“Tess, it’s okay”. He kissed her bloodstained palms once, twice, three times and pulled her into a hug. “It’s okay. You saved my life”.
They held each other while the cannons went off and the names of the dead tributes appeared on the artificial sky.
“Eight down”, she said, grimly.
“Sixteen remaining”.
They acquired the habit of always pay attention to the canons and the names that appeared on the sky.
One, two, three. Thirteen remaining.
One, two. The brother and sister duo from district nine. Tessa remembered them being nice to her and Scott at the training center.
One, two, three, four. Only eight now.
The careers from district one remained alive, and so did the boy from the fourth, the girl from the third and the boy from the seventh district. After the first day, Tessa and Scott had only met someone in the second day, a tiny girl that had tried to poison them by putting poisonous berries — nightlocks — in the midst of their food supply. A stupid plan, since they both knew what the berries were and saw her leaving them there. Tessa said she was sorry before making the girl eating one herself.
She kept the berries with her, and dreamed of the girl every night since that.
___________________________
They were under a three when it happened. They never saw the boy arriving, or heard the hive buzzing; they were too tired and too dehydrated to pay attention to almost imperceptible things. They didn’t see the boy taking his knife and cutting the hive from the tree. All Scott could remember was her screaming and the trackerjackers biting all of his body and the pain. God, the pain, was everywhere and her voice was everywhere telling him to stay alive, stay alive, look at me, Scott, you can’t die now we’ve come so far please please please stay alive.
He could hear her pain and he wanted to tell her everything was okay, he didn’t expect to survive this long and that she had to keep fighting because she promised him. And that he loved her. He wanted to tell her that he loved her so much, and please Tess, don’t cry, I love you and I can’t see you crying.
He thought she probably heard him, — did he say that out loud? — because before he knew her lips were on his, and all he could taste was tears and sweat. They were kissing and he did not know if it was really happening or if it was a hallucination induced by the venom. So he kissed her again, and again just to make sure it was real.
He woke up with her putting something on his arm.
“It’s medicine”. She said, perceiving his confusion. “They’ve sent us that and a thing with water and food. You were down for twelve hours, if I’m counting correctly”.
“How many…?”
“Four. The girl from one and the boy from four. And us”. She stood up, picking up a water bottle and some bread and placing it in front of him. “You need to eat, they won’t let us hide here for much longer”.
He ate slowly and in silence, and then drank some of the water. He could not read her expression, and she would not look him in the eyes, but Scott knew what she was thinking. He was thinking the same thing.
The fire started when they were both asleep. He was the first to wake up by the heat, immediately rising to his feet and waking her up too.
“Tessa. Kiddo. There’s a fire, we need to get out of here”.
The whole forest seemed engulfed in huge orange flames, and the more they ran the more the fire seemed to advance. He knew they were being forced to the cornucopia, forced to face the remaining tributes. So they ran, straight to the trap, straight to the people that were trying to kill them. Scott didn’t blame them. It wasn’t their fault, and weren’t them all trying to kill each other?
The first thing they saw when they got close to the cornucopia was the boy from four killing the girl from one. Gabi. Scott knew her name. He knew her name and before he could process this information the boy was running in Tessa’s direction with a fucking axe.
It didn’t matter. They were two and he was only one, and even if he almost cut of his arm, in the end he was dead. And Scott and Tessa were the only two remaining.
He threw his sword on the floor at her feet.
“Pick it up, Tess”. She shook her head, eyes getting filled with tears. He could feel his burning too.
“I can’t. I can’t”. She put her hand in the pocket of her backpack.
“Please, Tess”, he said weekly. She was the one supposed to survive. It were always her, that was the plan. “Please don’t make me do this”. Please.
“I love you”, she said, grabbing his hand. He felt something there. Black berries. “Nightlocks. Together, remember? Until the end”. She said, in a tearstained smile. They were both crying and he did not remember the last time he felt so empty. Maybe when hearing her name at the reaping.
He looked at her and nodded slowly. “Together”.
___________________________
President Snow smelled like flowers and perfume.
Scott and Tessa were wearing matching golden crowns with maple leafs embedded in them. He did not recall much after the voice said the games were finished and they were both winners and the carrier picked them up from the arena. The whole games were a blur in his mind.
He could not seem to pay attention to the interview, mostly nodding and agreeing to what Tessa had to say.
We are honored to be here. We are glad people got involved in our relationship, love resonates with everyone. We could not have done this without each other.
She nodded and smile so he nodded and smile, and he could not stop thinking about how fake and artificial it all seemed.
She saved me there a couple times, didn’t she? She’s amazing.
They were wrong. Everything was wrong.
You two are beautiful together. Panem loves you. The star-crossed lovers who won the games together. Have you seen the way he looks at her?
He wished he died at the games.
___________________________
They barely speak in the train home. The guilt and the hurt is too much and they both have incessant nightmares and can’t sleep. He knows this because he hears her scream at night — she hears him too.
He keeps thinking about it all: the I love you’s, the kisses, the hugs. Together.
She says she can’t think about this right now. That she does not know if she loves him. And all he can think is bullshit.
“You’re my best friend”, she says, weakly. They were arriving at home in thirty minutes and were going to be facing cameras. They need to talk.
“So it was all for the games? How you acted?”
“No, not all of it, stop twisting my words”. He knows this hurts her, but she is hurting him too and he needs to know for sure.
“Then how much, Tessa?”
“I don’t know”.
He doesn’t say anything.
They arrive at the station minutes later, and Scott can see the cameras and the people waiting for them on the outside.
They stand together, side by side, waiting for the doors to open.
“One last time, for the audience?”, he says, offering his hand to her. She takes it, and when the door opens all the fans can see are two kids in love. Broken and hurt, sure, but in love.