Chapter Text
He legitimately finds them by accident. The diaries.
It was just that Jungkook needed Jimin’s mattress to help complete the playground slide he was building with Taehyung on Namjoon’s bed, was midst yanking the fabric up when they fell out.
Diaries. Or at least what looked like diaries. Each one different in colour and texture; orange crushed velvet, fluffy pink, leather bound black. Each with the year written on the front in marker in large, neat handwriting.
And Jimin, poor Jimin was out. Unaware, oblivious. Hoseok with him. Taehyung was busy with the mattress slide.
The temptation was just so strong. Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from picking up the nearest to him, a transparent light purple with the year 2017 written on the paper underneath, and flicking to the first few pages
January 7th
I left the light on in the bathroom this morning because I was late for dance practice. I was in such a rush that I also left the dirty underwear I was wearing last night on top of Hobi-hyungs bed. I hope he doesn’t stay annoyed at me for too long. It upsets me a lot when other people are annoyed with me.
Jungkook’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Jimin was known for his openness, for his tolerance towards sharing gross feelings, but never had Jungkook heard Jimin talk about his own feelings in such a personal manor.
Janurary 9th
We shot the spring day MV today. The scenery was really beautiful, and I think I turned out okay.
The pink hair looks good. But it was so cold I thought my balls would freeze and fall off from lack of circulation.
I’m not being dramatic they really froze.
Jungkook rolled his eyes, dramatic, as he flicked forward a couple pages.
February 8th
Jungkookie graduated today. It made my heart swell and burst wit-
Jungkook turned away from the page to metaphorically scream into another dimension. How could Jimin write such sentimental words when Jungkook couldn’t even read them?
-h joy, and something else I can’t really place …or maybe, I just don’t want to.
It feels gross to me though, the whole thing does because in my eyes Jungkook has been adult for a long time. I guess high school graduations really symbolise…nothing. in many respects.
He bought us all jjajangmyeon, I’m not sure how he has any money left.
His parents came too. Jungkookies mother is sweet and playful and it’s wonderful to see where he gets that side of him from. His father is like him too, coy and handsome and has a nice cologne.
Huh?
And Jungkook… I told him –
“Jungkook! The hell are you?!” Jungkook’s head snapped up, eyes wide and glossy, he closed the book with a sharp clap, gathered the other diaries and thrusted them back under Jimin’s mattress, but Taehyung was fast approaching, stomping down the corridor with his big feet, having no time and no choice for the sake of Jimin’s privacy he shoved the 2017 diary into the back of his sweats, between his underwear and behind his shirt. He abandoned Jimin’s mattress for fear of discovery and ripped the doona and sheets off Hosoek’s instead, favouring facing the wrath of Hoseok’s anger rather than losing Jimin’s trust.
After the mattress slide was built, and consequentially destroyed by Namjoon and Hoseok,
After dance practice and dinner and his cold shower Jungkook locked his door, threw his blanket over his head like a little kid, and pulled Jimin’s diary out, using his phone as a torch to continue reading
-I would buy him whatever he wanted for a graduation gift. He joked about dinner, then about an apartment.
Did he mean he wanted to live away from us? or that he wanted me to live with him?
I guess he probably meant nothing by it and was being his usual self.
and he sang. I guess it was to me.
Okay it was to me.
Its kind of embarrassing to admit what he… does to me but my heart seriously almost exploded.
Almost.
Anyway, Jungkooks such a dumbass. He complains that there’s nothing special or romantic about him. He asks us, his hyungs, how he can be romantic for valentines day.
Doesn’t he know the way he sings could make anyone fall in love with him?
…
…
The blond suits him.
Jungkook turned to the next page, mind blank, mouth dry.
What…
March 7th
Yesterday me and Taehyungie got into another fight. I guess it was mostly my fault, I was in a bad mood and Taehyungie was pretty pissed off too. We were yelling and he pushed me back against the wall, so I tried to grab his shoulders but I grabbed him by the neck instead. I didn’t realise at the time, but my nails left terrible marks down his neck.
We had a vapp shoot today, and even though he had his jacket zipped all the way up everyone could still see the marks. I feel terrible. I feel guilty and shitty and sorry.
I didn’t mean to leave a mark.
I didn’t mean to fight with him again.
And Jungkook…didn’t even know about that. Of course, he heard the shouting and the noise, but it was part of their chaotic daily regime.
It only left more questions. Why did Taehyung and Jimin fight all the time? Why did it sometimes turn not just physical, but rough and raw and real?
It had finally hit Jungkook that he probably shouldn’t be reading this.
No, he definitely shouldn’t be reading Jimin’s fucking diary!
Jungkook, repulsed by his own actions, shoved the book under his own mattress refusing to read another word for Jimin’s and his own sake.