Chapter Text
Brian wasn’t sure what to expect when he walked through the door. It was his first day at the university, and he’d been assigned a dorm to share with a certain Timothy Wright. He’d never met the man before, and really Brian shouldn’t be worried (though doubts did cross his mind; what if his roommate was sloppy? What if he snored?) because he knew regardless of what this Tim was like, he was sure they’d get along just fine.
Brian was a very easy-going person, and he believed that the best way to live life was to just dive right in with a smile on his face. Nothing, no matter how terrible it was, couldn’t be fixed (not that he was optimistic all the time; simply that he preferred to think positively when facing a problem, because it’d make it much easier to solve), and if not fixed, then manageable.
With a suitcase in one hand and determination in the other, he opened up his room door to find it disappointingly empty. Nothing was inside, save for two bare white beds on each side of the room, peeling gray walls and a window that was cracked open, letting the sickly sweet smell of the summer rain in.
He sighed softly and placed his bag on the bed to the right and figured he’d best settle in. The students had all day to arrive after all, so it shouldn’t surprise him that Tim wasn’t there yet. Besides, Brian had arrived at the earliest possible time because he simply couldn’t wait to start college (after all, it was the next great adventure in his relatively plain and normal life. Change was good and Brian embraced it fully).
Hours passed. Brian had cleaned up the room (it was a bit dusty and there was an odd stain on the floor that smelled suspiciously like nacho cheese, but it was nothing a bit of cleaner and copious scrubbing couldn’t fix!) to the best of his abilities and had unpacked his belongings. Not that he had much aside from clothes and hygiene necessities, but there were a few pictures of his family he’d left on his nightstand, and he put up a poster of an old rock band he liked. And of course, stacks of endless college books. He majoring in psychology after all, and was going to minor in biology in case it didn’t quite work out.
He had even explored the campus again, making sure he knew the layout properly (even though he had done this dozens of times when visiting before) and still, his roommate had yet to show. Ah well, perhaps he had gotten lost. Or maybe they switched him to a different dorm. Regardless, there was nothing Brian could do about it.
Night had fallen and still no sign of him. Brian had started to doze off now, eyes slowly falling shut when suddenly he heard a soft knock at the door. Pulling himself up from the bed, he walked quietly across the floor, toes numb and tingling from the blood rush. Opening the door, he found himself face to face with dark chocolate eyes (so dark in fact, that Brian thought they were endless pits and that if he got any closer, he might just fall in).
The stranger had midnight hair and a pale complexion, dark purple rings lining each of his eyes. A small bag dangling loosely in his right hand and he shifted his weight uneasily. Everything inside of Brian screamed DANGER, and not to go near him, but really there was nothing to be afraid of. He didn’t understand why his heart started to flutter uneasily, why little spikes of fear and worry ravaged him because the stranger seemed utterly harmless. He was thinner than Brian, shorter, and clearly sleep deprived, and he hadn’t even said anything yet. So why then, why did his instincts tell him to slam the door and turn aside?
A mellow, quiet voice broke through Brian’s thoughts. “Sorry if I woke you, I just um…” He seemed to fidget a little uncomfortable, as if not sure what to say. Brian was too caught up in surprise at how soft his voice was (really, he was expecting something deeper and rougher given his appearance), and was still listening to the words echo in his head.
Brian realized he should probably reply or say something (he couldn’t just stare at him for hours on end) and helped him out a little, sensing the man’s insecurity (within these few seconds, Brian could already tell he was extremely introverted). “You’re Tim, right?”
The pale man nodded and Brian flashed a small smile. “I’m Brian, Brian Thomas.”
An odd silence followed after Tim muttered a “nice to meet you” and shuffled his feet. Brian, once more, was trying to understand why his subconscious was berating him, telling him not to trust Tim, and too many uncomfortable seconds passed before he embarrassingly moved out of the doorway, figuring Tim probably wanted to come in.
“Oh sorry, you can come in. I promise I won’t bite.” A worried and slightly suspicious expression crossed Tim’s face as Brian said that, but Brian didn’t catch it. In fact, there were a lot of things Brian didn’t notice about Tim, and if he did, passed them off as simple coincidences.
For example, it was a few weeks later when Brian realized that Tim never really left their dorm during the day. Actually, it seemed he rarely left at all. He had a few evening classes, but those were only on Mondays and Wednesdays, so for the most part he dwelled in their room like a bat in its cave; quiet, curled up in his bed, and buried in the dark (Brian once told Tim that analogy and thought it was rather funny; Tim, however, disagreed). He slept all day and from what Brian observed, was awake for most of the night. And in the off chance he wasn’t sleeping, he was writing a paper for a class or strumming absentmindedly on his guitar.
Brian also noticed other odd things, such as the fact that he had never seen Tim eating or drinking. He’d lived with him for months and not once had he seen him have a snack or even sip the tiniest bit of water. And if he thought about it, Tim always knew when someone was coming to the door or would even complain sometimes about how loud the people above them were being. But Brian, no matter how much he strained his ears, couldn’t ever hear a thing. Maybe Tim was just a very good listener.
Those strange quirks about Tim just made Brian want to know him more. And so Brian made it his mission to understand the enigma that was Tim. He wanted to know him, and at the very least, befriend him. They were living together after all, and it would be very uncomfortable if they were supposed to treat each other as strangers for the rest of the year. Brian would ask him questions and pester him and Tim, usually, would shut Brian down and reply with simple “yes”, “no”, or “I’m tired, can we do this later?” responses. So Brian would tell Tim things about himself, in hopes of having Tim trust him. Tim, at first, didn’t say anything. Brian could feel he was a little annoyed at how he would suddenly ramble about his family or classes and Tim was stuck there, forced to listen. But eventually, he began to open up and give Brian little pieces of himself too.
Gradually, over time, Brian was able to lower the barrier between them and they quickly became very close. Tim was very pleasant to talk to and was a lot funnier than Brian had thought. He began to pick up parts of Tim that made him a lot more human (as before, he was just another body in the room). He loved animals and was an excellent musician (not to mention singer. Brian only caught him singing once and that was to the intro of one of their shows (as they had started to binge Netflix together on their days off) and immediately after Tim regretted it and made Brian swear to never tell anyone he had heard him sing). He preferred chocolate over vanilla. His humor was the type to laugh at innocent things, like animals performing stupid actions. He was sweet, and Brian cherished every new piece of Tim he learned.
Soon, the two of them had reached in a point in their relationship that they found themselves nearly inseparable. Tim even began to venture outside of the dorm with Brian (though Brian never noticed it was only during the evening/night hours) and they’d go out to have dinner together or go wander the campus (as it really was nice to get out and breath fresh air every once in a while). And soon there came a time when Brian began to feel as if this wasn’t quite enough for him. He wanted to be closer to Tim; he craved something beyond a friendship. He couldn’t help but have his heart skip nervously when Tim got a too close to him or when their hands accidentally brushed. When Tim would smile (which was rather rare), it felt like his chest just might explode because Tim in all his oddities, was perfect.
Brian, undeniably, was in love.
But he didn’t know if Tim returned the feelings. After all, they’d only known each other for a little over half a year, and Tim never expressed an interest in men. Then again, he had never expressed an interest in women either, but that wasn’t much comfort to Brian. Finally, a few weeks after Brian realized he had fallen for Tim, every feeling in his chest came to bubble up and rise inside of Brian, threatening to overwhelm him, until finally it did.
“Tim?” Brian felt his pulse rise unsteadily and he sat up on the edge of his bed, running his fingers over the seams in his bed sheet nervously. The soft strumming from across the room stopped (as Brian couldn’t really see Tim, even with the curtains open, as the moonlight only beamed through the center of the room. Everything past it was a hazy form of gray or black and Tim was pressed against the wall, farthest from it).
“Yeah?”
“Have you… I mean, would you ever… I-I guess I’m trying to ask if…” A few more jumbled words came from Brian and he stood up, pacing. He couldn’t help but get jittery and pace when he was scared or worried, it was just a tic of his.
Tim immediately sensed something was wrong (after all, Brian was the easy-going and charming one between the two of them. Brian always knew what to say and he never stuttered or struggled to get his point across). Tim set the guitar down and stood to meet him, letting a hand fall to Brian’s shoulder in a comforting sort of way, causing Brian to stop.
“What’s wrong?”
Brian was glad his face was still hidden in the shadows, because he couldn’t help let his cheeks flush at feeling Tim so close to him. Those dark eyes seemed to call to him, begging him to just give in and cast aside his doubts. Do it, a part of Brian whispered. Do it and don’t look back.
Both time and his heart seemed to stop as he gazed at him, lips trembling slightly as he tried once more to explain but no sound came out. Suddenly, his fingers twitched and he was only numbly aware of everything that happened after. Because it was in one fluid movement that Brian leaned in and pushed his lips on Tim’s.
Barely a fraction of a second had passed in which Tim was stiff was surprise and in that small moment, Brian wondered if what he was doing was right. Every part of him screamed for Tim to kiss him back, even if he didn’t feel the same, to humor him just this once. He needed Tim like he needed air and he couldn’t stop himself now.
It was only with the smallest hesitance that Tim did kiss him back, pressing his hands up against Brian’s cheeks and pulling him closer, closer now until every part of them was connected. Heart beat against heart, as one, together. A warmth uncoiled and flowed from the pit of Brian’s stomach and spread until every part of him felt like he was on fire, but in the way that it was hot and empowering, like he could never be hurt again, not if Tim was there.
Tim started to nip and then bite at Brian’s lower lip now; he hadn’t expected Tim to get this rough this quickly, but it’s not like he was going to protest. He hummed and let his hands creep up to the back of Tim’s head, fingers burying themselves in the midnight mess. And just as he had begun to grow more comfortable, just as he had thought they had broken the boundary between them and he was sure his feelings of affection and adoration were requited, Tim jerked back suddenly. Brian gasped involuntarily and a sharp pain left his lip numb and tingling, with a small bubble of blood forming over it.
As fast as it happened, it was over. A cold numbness seeped through him and Brian felt as if all the fire inside of him had escaped and left him barren and empty. Had he done something wrong? He knew he did rather force himself on Tim, but Tim kissed him back. Hadn’t he?
Tim’s back was to Brian and he could see him panting heavily, one hand covering his mouth like he too was shocked by what they had done. Seconds that stretched into eternities passed until finally, finally Brian’s voice cracked and he spoke.
“I-I’m so sorry if that crossed a line, I-”
His voice broke and he fell into silence, waiting for Tim to say something. But he didn’t.
Brian figured the best way to resolve this was to try again, to apologize properly. Right now, he had no clue what the matter was, only that Tim was quivering slightly (could he be crying? Oh god, Brian never meant to force him into anything; he never meant to hurt him!) and that the silence had gone on for too long. His heart beat had slowed now and would give a heavy thump every now and then, reminding him how much it hurt for Tim to tear away so quickly.
He swallowed thickly, and tried to apologize once more. It was the best thing he thought to do, to truly show his regret and maybe get Tim to speak to him again. “I didn’t mean to force you to… I just thought that maybe you…” He cleared his throat. “It was wrong of me to-”
“Shut up.”
Brian’s words faltered and his heart felt as if it had plummeted deep into his chest and stopped working altogether. It was quiet for a moment before Brian found the right words, because surely Tim didn’t mean that.
“Please, I didn’t mean to hurt you-”
“Hurt me? Hurt me?” His shoulders tensed and Brian suddenly understood why Tim was shaking; it wasn’t because of tears, but rather because of a rising mix of fear and anger. “You’re not the one who… who...”
Brian tried to understand what Tim meant. He was implying he didn’t blame Brian for what happened, nor did he regret it. What then, what was the issue? A fleeting thought suggested that maybe Tim had never kissed a man before, or that perhaps it was some other personal reason. Regardless, Brian didn’t fully understand and Tim didn’t seem keen on explaining.
Brian’s voice was soft. “Tim, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
Tim’s head shook ever so slightly, refuting the statement. “You have no idea what could have happened. I could have-” Tim stopped himself before going further, as if he had almost let something slip. A shaky breath followed by a hiccupped sort of laugh, his body still trembling.
“We rushed into this, I get it. If you’re uncomfortable-”
Tim cut him short. “It’s not that.”
“Then is it me? If you don’t want to be with me, that’s fine. I won’t pursue-”
“No.”
Rather than be relieved, Brian grew frustrated. “Then what’s the problem? I can’t think of another reason why this-” Brian corrected himself, “-why I would be so offensive to you. Unless you’re lying to me-”
“Brian-”
“-or you’re hiding something from me. Whatever problem you’re facing, whatever you think I can’t handle-”
“That’s not-”
“-I can, and you’re wrong. Because I want to be there for you Tim and I want you to be able to trust me.”
Tim’s voice wavered, thick with self-loathing and fear. His shoulders were stiff and tense and he still refused to look Brian in the eyes, even as he growled out his defensive words. “If you knew, you’d hate me.”
Brian’s face twisted, and he finally raised his voice. They’d known each other for far too long and had grown too close for Brian to simply accept that. Tim, in all his flaws, could never be anything but perfect to Brian. And they knew that, both of them. There was no hiding how they felt anymore, no hiding who they were, and Brian had shared everything about himself with Tim. Night after night, they had spent so much time together that Tim was a necessity, a piece of him that he couldn’t afford to lose. Having Tim think that after everything they had done, that Brian might in some way hate him…
That was what pushed Brian to yell.
"How can you possibly think that I could ever HATE you? You- There is nothing, NOTHING you could EVER do to stop me from loving you. Because you-”
"Don’t!” Tim’s voice was shrill now, and he was on the verge of breaking. Brian went to continue, barely pronouncing the letter "I-" before Tim turned sharply, and pushed Brian’s chest back with his hands. He was forced backwards, and stumbled slightly as Tim shoved him. But there was one vital mistake made; he had turned around, and in doing so, revealed his face.
Small porcelain daggers stuck over his bottom lip, canine teeth much longer than Brian had ever seen before on Tim, much less on any human. His sweet chocolate eyes had gone deep scarlet like the petals on a rose; enchanting and beautiful, but clearly doing their best to hide the thorns inside of them. His lower lip trembling, watching the expression on Brian’s face (which was a mix of shock and horror) before he cast his own eyes downward shamefully.
“I told you.” His voice was low, forcing out the words like a wounded animal. “I’m…”
Brian finished his sentence for him, still gazing at him as if he’d come from a different dimension. He hadn’t quite expected this turn of events. “A vampire?”
Tim lowered his head even further, like the mere word was enough to crush him. He didn’t deny it, nor did he try to hide it any longer. His posture reflected that of a man in judgment, waiting for the final sentencing, the outcome. He knew Brian would reject him, but it was how.
Brian studied him further, mind working as if it were in slow motion. Vampires weren’t real, right? And if they were, weren’t they monsters? Bloodsuckers that preyed upon the innocent during the night? They were callous and cold creatures who were, in every right, murderers. It didn’t make sense for them to exist, nor for Tim to be one of them.
Tim didn’t fit that dark and evil profile at all. He was warm and sweet, and would never do anything to hurt or endanger Brian. He had had every opportunity to kill Brian since the moment they met, but he never touched him. Not until now. And even so, hadn’t he been trying to warn Brian, to tell him to stay away? He’d done his best to keep not just the truth from Brian, but the danger he posed, refusing to kiss him further because he was scared of what he could do.
Tim wasn’t dangerous, not to Brian. And any doubt Brian had melted away with that thought and he puffed up his chest a little with confidence. Just because Tim was a little threatening (alright, maybe a VERY threatening), it didn’t mean he’d just stop having feelings for him. “So what?”
Tim’s mouth pulled down into a sharp frown, scowling. “What?”
“I said, so what?”
Tim didn’t seem to understand, jaw working furiously as he tried to scrounge up the proper words. “You saw what I am; you know what I can do. Aren’t you- you should be scared!”
The fact that Tim had to point out Brian’s lack of worry just reinforced his affirmation that Tim was perfectly safe. For Brian, it was like looking at a puppy and trying to claim that it was horrifyingly dangerous. And yes, he knew that Tim did pose a real threat, but he couldn’t bring himself to face that possibility. Not yet.
“Just because you’re a little-”
“Terrifying?”
“I was going to say different-”
Tim scoffed.
“-it doesn’t mean you’re an entirely different person. You’re still you.”
The dark crimson glow of his eyes seemed to fade a little, the chocolate seeping back in. He bit his lip slightly and then shook his head. “Brian, I don’t think you understand…”
“No, I understand perfectly.”
An agitated huff followed from Tim, “Then don’t you see why this won’t work? It’s- we’re in a predator and prey situation. I’m bound to end up hurting you or worse!”
Brian took that into consideration. Yes, death was a very plausible outcome now that he thought about it. But that little voice inside of him wanted to trust Tim, it believed that death sounded pretty okay if it meant he got to love Tim. Still, it was a big move, especially for someone he’d only known for under a year. Was he really willing to risk everything, his own life, for Tim?
He chose to align himself with his feelings and spoke. “Not if we’re cautious.”
Tim stared at him, completely dumbfounded. His words came out slow and steady, as if Brian had suddenly gone deaf to him. “Listen to me very carefully; I’m dangerous. I could kill you right now if I wanted to.”
“But you haven’t.”
“Well, no, but-”
Brian interrupted him. “I know you. And I know you wouldn’t-”
“Don’t! Don’t even start with that whole “I don’t care what you are, I’ll always love you” shit. You don’t know what I’m capable of, hell, what I’ve done! You don’t know the real me. What if I’m not able to stop myself? What if, what if…” Tim’s voice fell. “Brian I don’t want to hurt you.”
Before Brian could even speak, Tim let out a heavy sigh and ran a hand through his dark locks, closing his eyes. “You still wanna try this though, don’t you?”
He nodded, watching as Tim’s fangs began to retract slowly (he’d have to ask Tim about his lifestyle and all sorts of questions later, when they weren’t facing such a moral dilemma. He was rather curious after all). “I think we can do this. I mean, you- you did like kissing me, didn’t you?”
His cheeks flushed a little as he tried to express that better, realizing how silly he sounded. “I-I mean, you stopped because of the blood not cause-”
Tim cracked a little smile at that, the corners of mouth curling as he suppressed a laugh. “I like you. If that’s what you’re asking.”
Brian let out a relieved sigh. A giddy sort of laugh followed and he couldn’t help but smile now, glad to know for sure his feelings were reciprocated. Really, he should be freaking out or staying as far away as possible from Tim considering he was a vampire. But that’s what makes Brian who he is. He’d dive straight into danger if it meant keeping Tim happy, if it meant he could love him, even if the danger was Tim himself.
“So, a vampire…” He mused playfully, …”does this mean you can turn into a bat?”
“You’re an idiot, Brian Thomas.”