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Dave is trying to focus on Mario Kart, but all he can think of is the fact that Karkat is super fucking down with having Jade tell them how to fuck. Like, levels of down where just talking it over the night before, and realizing that Dave was into it, gave him a weird, wiggly boner that Dave was more than happy to help him out with. And now Jade is back from spending the night at Rose’s, and Mario Kart is just in the way of the bedroom. Or here, that could be good, too.
“Hey, so, random question.” He doesn’t pause the game, but he’s been coming in close to last for a while with the whole half-chub thing going on in his pants.
“What?”
“Remember that time you told me to make out with Karkat?”
Jade goes still on the couch, and Dave watches her pink Yoshi start to trail in the rankings. “What about it?” she asks nervously. Shit’s getting less weird since that first awkward month after the tragic backstory truthbomb, where both of them were asking him for permission for every little thing inside and outside of sex, like he was made of glass and any gust of wind might knock him over and shatter him. That was bad. They’ve worked out most of the kinks by now, but sometimes it still rears its weird head, and Jade still worries a lot about messing this stuff up or accidentally making him do stuff he doesn’t want to.
“Just that it was super fucking great, and you should do it again.”
“Oh!” She relaxes back into the couch. “Oh, okay,” she says, her voice getting mischievous. “Again? Like when?”
“You know, whenever.” Dave leans back all the way to look at her and waggle his eyebrows. She grins at him and starts to set her controller down.
“Guys. We’re in the absolute, plumfuck middle of a cup right now, can you please keep it in your fucking pants for five more minutes?”
“Weird, you sounded pretty into it last night.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“You guys were talking about this last night?”
“And more.”
“Ooh la la!”
Karkat stares at the screen and plays the game as his face gets dark and embarrassed, his cheeks getting red.
“Come on, Karkat, would you really rather play the game than play with us?”
“Dave’s gross phrases are rubbing off on you and it’s horrible.”
“That doesn’t sound like a no, babe,” Dave says. And shoots a shell in Karkat’s direction.
“Fuck off! Did you do that? You did that.”
“You gotta play to win, dude.”
“Listen, it’s the fucking principle of the thing, you can’t just bring this stuff up willy-nilly any time. Like in the middle of a fucking cup. Which I’m winning.”
“Is this like, deep sea levels of no?” Deep sea, their safeword, which became a handy little tool for actually fucking talking about things that bother them. And differentiating them from playful banter. It started out mostly for Jade’s benefit, because she had a harder time reading between the lines that Dave and Karkat drew on the sand from conversation to conversation, but it turns out that it was actually pretty useful for the two of them, too. Because sometimes Karkat needed to actually take a step back to figure out how he actually felt about something, and sometimes Dave didn’t spell shit out if he thought it would make stuff too heavy, and as it turns out, neither of them are actually the mind readers they thought they were before.
“…No. It’s just fucking embarrassing. You just fucking say these things. And now I’m in third and it’s your fucking fault, you know what?” Karkat pauses the game. “Fuck the game, I can’t fucking concentrate on it anymore, and it’s your fault.”
“Oh nooo, dude. What are we gonna do now?”
Jade laughs.
“Shut up.”
“Do you guys want to take this to the bedroom, then?” Jade asks.
“Yes.”
“…Okay,” Karkat says, and gets up.
*
“So, what are you cool with?” Jade asks. She bounces up and down a little from where she’s sitting on the deskchair.
“The normal shit,” Dave says. They talked out stuff before, like, hard limits and whatever.
“Yeah, anything’s fine for me,” Karkat says.
“Okay! I’ll still check in on you guys. Don’t bitch about it being a bonerkill or I won’t wash the dishes all week.”
“Fine.”
“Then, why don’t you start by making out?” she says, and sits back. She’s beaming and tapping her finger against her knee.
“Shit, you heard the girl.”
“God, shut up, this is so fucking weird.”
Dave leans over and kisses Karkat. He’s feeling too self conscious to get into it, and Dave can feel how tense his posture is, but maybe Dave can help. He’ll calm down once he’s more into it. He just needs a little push. And he wouldn’t have agreed to this if he didn’t want to do it. He also wouldn’t have spilled into Dave’s hand like a horny teenager if he wasn’t into it. He runs his hands down Karkat’s arms and slowly deepens the kiss until he feels some of that tension start to fade.
“Psst. Dave. Take your shades off.”
Dave pulls back and does as Jade asks. And it’s such a stupid little thing but it gets him going. It’s starting, she’s telling him what to do, and making him vulnerable because she wants to see him like that. Fuck. He’s not sure why this doesn’t freak him out more, or at all, because it probably should, but he’s so glad that it doesn’t. Karkat pulls him back the second his shades are safely on the bedside table and kisses him again.
“You like it when she tells me what to do?” Dave asks, quietly enough that Jade probably can’t hear them. Well, maybe. Dog senses are keen.
“No shit.”
Dave runs his hand down Karkat’s chest, down between his legs, where he already feels his bulge half-out. Karkat gasps.
“Hey, now, I didn’t tell you to do that. Yet.”
Dave pulls his hand back. “Can I give him a hickie?”
“No. I wanna see you kiss more.”
Karkat kisses Dave before he can argue back.
“Nice,” Jade says. Dave feels Karkat’s hand tighten around his, and then he’s pulling away and sliding his fingers under Dave’s shirt as he deepens the kiss. And she lets them go at it, uninterrupted, for four full minutes. Dave feels her eyes burning on him the whole time, and Karkat is squirming like they’re naked and he’s halfway to coming already.
“Is his bulge out?” Jade asks. “You can check. Only check, though.”
Karkat makes a helpless sound, and Dave slips his hand past his underwear. Karkat’s bulge, fully unsheathed, wraps itself around Dave’s hand. And he’s cheating, but Dave gives him a few gentle squeezes, and waits for Jade to scold him before pulling away.
“That’s more than enough time down there, Dave.”
“Yeah, dude’s at full mast.”
“Good! Okay, you can give him a hickie now.”
Dave pulls his hand back and looks at Karkat as he licks his hand clean. Karkat stares at him with wide, lust-blown eyes and bites his lip.
“Fuck, you two are so hot.”
“You wanna get in on it?”
“Mmm, don’t tempt me! Take his shirt off first.”
Dave does. He’s so thrilled waiting to find out what she wants him to do next. He looks over his shoulder to see her sitting there, still clothed but with her hand down her pants. She smiles at him.
“You still doing good?”
“So fucking good.”
“Karkat?”
“Can we get it fucking moving, please.”
Dave settles down, straddling Karkat’s waist, and feels his bulge whipping around under his pants. He grabs a fist full of Karkat’s hair and tugs his neck to the side so he can start to bite and suck at it. Low enough that his turtleneck will cover it up, of course. Karkat moans and bucks his hips.
“Karkat, touch Dave more.”
And then Karkat’s hands are back on him, under his shirt, clawing at his back. He pants into his ear and curses.
“More, come on, I’m fucking dying.”
“Karkat, take Dave’s shirt off and make out again.”
And they do that. And she just watches, and Dave feels her gaze burning into him and it makes him so hot for more. Karkat squirms under him and lightly rakes his dull, clipped claws down Dave’s back. He’s noisier than usual, and Dave thinks he might be able the feel his bulge even through the multiple layers of jeans between them. He wants it wrapped around his dick already, but Jade hasn’t given them the go ahead. And she keeps not doing that. She seems completely content to just watch them like this, half clothed, until they’re dry humping and Karkat is moaning and gasping and wrapping his legs around Dave’s waist and begging for more. Dave thinks he hears something wet behind him, and the idea that Jade is jacking off to this gets him going even more.
And then Karkat pulls away, panting and flushed. “I’m going to fucking spill in my pants. Please. Jade.”
“Oh, hot!” Dave looks over, panting a little, and sees that she definitely has a few fingers stuffed inside her slit as her thumb slowly strokes her clit.
“No! It’s embarrassing!”
“Color?”
He looks away uncomfortably. “…Yellow?”
Oh. Dave pulls away a little. “You okay?”
“Oh, shit. Do you want to stop?” Jade asks.
“No, I just, I really don’t want to fucking pail in my pants. Anything else is fine. Stopping is literally the last thing on my mind, actually.”
“Okay, that works! Good. Well, uh. Dave, color?”
“Green as the fucking verdant forests of Maine.”
“Okay, then, why don’t you eat Karkat out?” Jade sits back in her chair. “Two birds! One stone!”
Karkat whimpers helplessly. “Yes, yes, please, fuck.”
“Jade, holy shit.”
“I’m a genius.”
“You really are, babe.”
Jade gives him a cheeky smile. “Well, get to work! It won’t eat itself.”
Dave makes quick work of Karkat’s pants and then gets right down between his legs. Hell yeah, this is one of his very favorite places to be. He takes Karkat’s bulge in his hand and looks up at him, and sees Karkat biting his lip, flicking his gaze between him and Jade as he grips at the sheets. All the tension goes out of Karkat the second Dave starts licking at his nook and the sensitive little bump where his bulge starts. His taste is really strong, like it gets right before he’s about to pail. Dave slowly drags his fingertips up and down his nook and looks up right as Karkat’s eyes roll back and he falls back against the bed.
Dave thinks about pulling back to ask if he can finger Karkat’s seriously wet nook, but decides that he really doesn’t want to stop giving him any sweet mouth action. Jade can tell him to stop if she wants to. He pushes two fingers slowly inside, feeling the slight resistance give way before Karkat’s legs fall farther open.
“You guys are so hot.”
“Fuck,” Karkat says brokenly, and runs his fingers through Dave’s hair.
Dave kind of feels like his dick is going to break his fucking zipper if he doesn’t do anything to himself soon. He goes ahead and unbuttons his pants, then pulls it down. He waits for Jade to tell him to stop, if she wants. She doesn’t.
“Oh, I have an idea.”
“Mm?”
“It’s dirty.”
“Dirtier than making us fucki-,” Karkat moans as Dave speeds up his fingers, crooks them up against that one spot he likes so much. Heh. Dave loves doing this to him, overwhelming him when he inevitably starts to yammer, it’s one of his favorite things because it’s kind of hilarious and really fucking hot. “Fuck- fuck- Dave- fuck-“
Dave slows down and pulls away. “What were you saying, dude?”
“I hate you. Fuck off, you-“ Dave sinks his fingers in as deep as he can, “Oh, fuck, yes, fuck, harder-“
Dave can do harder. Karkat’s insults melt into gasps.
“What was your idea, babe?” he asks Jade. He looks over his shoulder to see her staring at him with wide eyes, her mouth half-open. Dave doesn’t stop what he’s doing to Karkat’s nook, and he’s just barely stopping himself from sucking at his bulge until he has word from Jade.
“This is probably hotter, actually? Just… keep doing that.”
“Come on, tell me.”
“Uh, I-”
“Dave, fuck- I’m gonna fucking. I fucking- fuck-“
Dave slows down, and Karkat whimpers. “You want him to come, babe?”
Jade swallows and stares between them.
“Don’t stop, fuck, please, Dave, please- Jade, please let me.”
“Yeah. Oh my god.”
Dave leans over and focuses all his attention on Karkat. He flicks his tongue against his nub and fucks him deep with his fingers. Karkat grabs his head, keeps the pressure gentle and good and his legs arch. Dave’s dick is going to fucking explode but he’s way more interested in making Karkat’s spill right now. And it’s not long before his cries get louder and his bulge does that weird wringing sideways retraction thing and his bright red release is spilling all over Dave’s face and hand.
Dave pulls away when Karkat’s bulge starts to retract into his body, when his tremors get less violent. He licks his lips and kisses Karkat’s thigh.
“Okay. Okay, Dave.” Jade sounds incredibly hyped-up. “Can I- color!”
“Green as fuck.”
“Karkat!”
“Mm. Green,” Karkat says weakly. His legs shake a little with aftershocks. “Dave, come here.”
Dave does as he’s told and crawls up next to Karkat, who wraps himself around Dave and kisses him deeply. And reaches down to grab his dick, which feels like fucking heaven right now.
“Wait!”
Karkat pulls away to stare at Jade. Dave thinks he’s going for a half-hearted glare, but he’s too fucked out to look even a little bit upset.
“I want- um.”
“What?”
“Nevermind! Just keep doing what you’re doing.”
“Come here, asslick.”
Jade almost trips over herself on the way over to the bed. Dave can fucking smell how wet she is. He’s about to settle down between her legs and clean that right up when Karkat speaks up.
“I have an idea,” Karkat says.
Dave waits for him to go on. He doesn’t.
“What’s the idea?” Jade asks.
“Give me a minute.” He takes a breath.
“Doing okay there?” Dave asks.
“Shut up!”
“Okay, so, Jade and I- uh,” Dave looks at Jade, “I mean, if you want, babe, but we’re gonna, like, go for it, while you’re… workin’ that out.”
“Yes? Please? Oh my god. Dave, please fuck me.”
Dave laughs. Holy shit, he has the hottest girlfriend. “Woah.”
“Sorry, was that too much?”
“Not at all.” Dave scoots closer to her and she bites her lip and opens her legs a little. He actually listens to his inner thoughts these days, and his inner thoughts are 100% down with the idea right now. More than that. 110%.
“Get a condom.”
Dave grabs one off the bedside table. Hell yes absolutely.
“So, uh, what was your idea, Karkat?” Jade asks.
“Nothing.”
“Come on.”
“No, watching this is better. Please. I’m out of commission anyways.”
Dave stares at him. “Fine, but I’m gonna ask you later.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
He makes quick work of the condom, and then Jade pulls him onto bed and spreads her legs. She’s fucking glistening, and her clit is dark and swollen. Dave really wants to give it a lick or 20. Why the hell not, actually. He bends over and goes ahead and does that. She tastes so good, so different from Karkat, who’s also fucking amazing, but it never fails to surprise him how different they are down there. She moans and grabs at his hair.
“Fuck, Dave, that’s so good,” she says hazily. He looks up at her and sucks gently and watches her eyes cross a little. “Don’t stop.”
He has absolutely no intention of stopping. And he’d tell her this, but then he’d have to stop. He just squeezes at her hips. His dick kind of feels like it’ll implode if he doesn’t get some pressure on it soon, but his dick can survive. Maybe she sees him grinding against the bed, maybe she gets a little too randy for more, but he’s barely gotten his feet wet before she’s pushing him off.
“Fuck- fuck, fuck me, please.”
He wipes his mouth off on his arm and makes sure the condom is on good.
“You taste so good. You’d deny a man his favorite treat.”
“Agh, oh my god.”
“You could sell it for its weight in gold, babe.”
“I’m going to die if you don’t fuck me. Do you want to be a murderer?”
“Shit, what a way to go, though,” Dave says, but he lines up and starts to gently, gently push inside of her.
“Yes,” she says.
She feels perfect, amazing, hot and tight and warm around him, and she makes a broken-off gasp when he slides into her. He gives her a few seconds to adjust, and well before he would have guessed she’d be ready, she’s wiggling her hips.
“Come on, come on come on.”
“You think you’re ready for the meat rocket?”
She groans and buries her face in her hands. “Why!”
“I’m sorry.” Dave kisses her forehead. “Forgive me. Come back.”
She opens her hands and then wraps her arms around Dave’s back, pulling him down for a kiss. It’s getting hard to stay still inside of her. He starts to move, and she moans. She feels fucking incredible. He pulls back, gets his balance, and thrusts until she’s swearing and arching back. She reaches a hand down to play with her nipple, and she’s so hot and she feels so good that Dave has to slow down so he doesn’t blow right here and now. And she gives him this half-aroused, half-annoyed look. And then he sees Karkat, out of the corner of his eye, staring at them with a dazed look on the other side of the bed.
“How about you turn and face Karkat? We gotta give him a show.”
She grins. “Good idea.”
“Oh, fuck,” Karkat says quietly.
She rolls over on her side and gives Karkat a little wave. It takes some maneuvering, but once it gets working, it’s fantastic. Dave can kind of see Karkat above Jade’s head, but this is the perfect position for them to be staring at each other.
“Karkat,” Jade moans, “touch me.” She spreads her legs a little farther.
Dave feels the bed move as Karkat comes closer, and then feels Jade tighten around him. And then he hears the wet sounds of Jade and Karkat kissing, right next to him.
“Bottle rocket’s gonna pop,” he warns, because this shit is way too hot and overwhelming.
“Do it,” Jade moans. “Come on, inside me.”
He thrusts a few times, harder than before, and she cries out. And then he’s coming, and Jade is telling Karkat to not stop. Dave pulls out, and Karkat immediately fills Jade up with his fingers until she’s arching off the bed, clawing at Karkat’s shoulders.
And then the three of them lay down, boneless and sticky, and pant for a while. Jade kisses Dave softly.
“Well, that was good.” Dave says.
“That was super good,” Jade says. “Karkat?”
“Yes.”
“What?”
“Would do again. Good. Fuck.”
“By the way, are you ready to tell us your magical sex idea?” Dave asks.
Karkat scowls. “You were supposed to forget about that.”
“I told you I wouldn’t, dude. I never tell a lie. I told a lie once in my entire life and I then had to cut down a fucking cherry tree in repentance.”
“I don’t even know where to start with that, and you know it. Anyways. I wasn’t lying. Watching you two was significantly hotter.”
“Karkat! Just tell me! I’m dying!” Jade says.
“Just, fucking, at some point, maybe, like, spitroast me or something, I don’t know.”
“Holy shit, babe!” That’s so hot. Dave is so impressed. He never would have guessed that’s what Karkat was thinking about. And now it’s all he can think about. Yeah, that’d be good.
“Or not, I don’t know, I just thought- I mean, it’s fucking embarrassing-“
“Karkat, I want to do that the absolute next time we fuck. Right? Jade? You with me?”
“Oh my god, yeah. How long until you get it up again? Karkat, that’s so hot.”
“I- what, really?”
“Do you seriously think we’d say no to that? That’s ridiculously hot.”
“Oh. Hah.” Karkat looks away shyly.
“Oh, look, your bulge is out already, hmmm,” Jade says mischievously. She runs her fingers down Karkat’s side, slowly making her way to his bulge, which starts to wiggle a little faster.
“Oh, shit. That’s perfect. You want me to fuck your ass? I could finger you while the Old Admiral fills up.”
“Shut up, oh my god.”
“That’s such a good idea, Dave!”
“I’m so serious. Are you down?”
Karkat looks between them. He seems torn. “That was a lot of intense shit already, and I’m kinda. Fuck, I don’t know.”
“You’re all kinked out for the day?” Dave asks.
“Maybe?”
“That’s fine! Thank you for telling us!” Jade says. “I’m still happy to get you off, if you want. Seeing as it’s all wiggly. That can’t be too comfortable. But only if it’s not too much!”
Karkat swallows. “You’re gonna kill me. Please. Yeah.”
“You’re so hot when you come, Karkat,” she says. “Just wanna see that over and over.”
Karkat bites his lip and his bulge thrashes forward. “Holy shit.”
Jade reaches down to run her fingers over Karkat’s wiggly little dude teasingly. She looks up at Dave and waggles her eyebrows, dips a fingertip into Karkat’s nook.
“Hey, babe, you want me to finger you a little while Jade goes to town on the little guy?”
“Unh. Yeah.”
Karkat kisses Dave a little, and then turns to kiss Jade, as the two of him work him over. The angle isn’t perfect and Dave’s hand starts to cramp a little towards the end, but the two of them slowly work him up between soft kisses and praises and plans for next time. She does a color check, only to find him as green as the day is long. Jade asks him exactly how he’d like to be spitroasted, tells him she’s more than happy to oblige. That he’d be so good for them, wouldn’t he. When did Karkat tell her about the praise thing? Unimportant, she’s a fucking master at it, and it’s so hot to listen to her gently break him down with it.
And it takes a while, being the second time in, what, 15 minutes, but they’re both happy to wait it out. Spoiling Karkat is the fucking best. (Spoiling Jade is also the fucking best. Spoiling either of them makes Dave die and go to heaven every single time. He’s so fucking lucky.)
Soon enough, Karkat is gripping both of their shoulders as he scrunches his eyes closed and lets out a weak little spurt of genetic fluid before flopping against the bed, bonelessly, panting and shivering.
“Take a nap with me,” he demands with all the force of a melting ice cream cone.
“But of course,” Dave tells him. He gently scoots Karkat out of his jizz puddle, which makes Jade laugh softly.
They don’t quite sleep, but lay there in a lazy, half-asleep trance for a few minutes as Karkat makes his affectionate little chirps and nuzzles against them. He does this when he’s really out of his head, and it’s so adorable and special that Dave will more than happily wait them out. And slowly, they start to slow down.
“I love you guys. You’re going to fucking kill me.”
“We need you alive, Karkat!”
“Well, you should have fucking thought of that before you fucked me dead.”
“You’re a nerd.”
“Shut up.”
“Are you ready to change the sheets and wash off? Or do you want to cuddle some more?” Jade asks.
“…Just a little longer.”
“Sounds good to me!”
“Cool.”
Karkat chirps again, quietly, and Jade pulls the blanket up over them as they quietly discuss plans for the rest of the day. Which will start right after this cuddling session.
Dave is probably the luckiest guy in the entire universe.