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“Come on, stop being a baby!” Louis rolled his eyes at Nick then turned around, dragging Liam by the arm towards the Ferris wheel.
“Don’t be a dick.” It was probably the fourth time that day Harry uttered those exact words, but honestly, who could blame Louis. They were at an amusement park and Nick, infuriating Nick who Louis most definitely did not have a crush on, refused to ride any of the fun rides.
Harry’s whole pitch to Louis about inviting Nick in the first place had revolved around making Louis feel guilty that he’d be the third wheel to Harry and Liam’s new relationship. They had just got together and though at the time they promised Louis that the life-long friendship between the three of them wouldn’t be weird, the first time they all planned to go out together smashed that theory. Louis still wasn’t sure why Harry insisted Nick, of all people, come to the park when he could’ve invited any of his other million friends that didn’t drive Louis up a wall, but here they were.
And Louis wasn’t going to miss out on the rides. Everyone knew that coming to the amusement park was his favorite day of the year (except any day when he received presents, of course), and he wasn’t about to sit with a stranger just because Nick insisted on waiting on the benches next to each ride instead of joining in the fun. So, despite Harry’s best efforts, Louis definitely still felt like a third wheel on the entire date, sitting with either Harry or Liam on all the rides so far.
So he was even more annoyed at Nick than he normally was. Stupid Nick and his lovely face and his big hands and jokes Louis had to pretend he didn’t find funny.
To be honest, Louis could understand the tilt-a-whirl aversion, and probably could’ve forgiven the pass on the roller coasters if Nick hadn’t been so whiny about it. He was eighteen, four whole months older than Louis, and there was no good reason for him to pout like that; he was Louis’ elder, for christsakes. But the Ferris wheel? There was nothing threatening about the Ferris wheel. It moved at maybe a maximum of half a mile per hour.
“He doesn’t have to go on if he doesn’t want to,” Liam calmly stated for the upteenth time.
“No, he doesn’t,” Louis turned his head back to Nick and Harry trailing behind them, “but he should know he’s a dick if he doesn’t go.” Louis fiddled with the straps of his camera bag.
“Surprised you even care about the Ferris wheel, since you’ve wanted nothing but thrills since you got here.” Nick speaking directly to him gave him a thrill, not that he’d admit that to anyone. “Doesn’t seem like your kind of ride.”
Louis coughed to stall, that one was lobbed right to him, but he whiffed and answered honestly, for once. “Want to take some pictures. Gonna be gorgeous at sunset.”
As he suspected, the straight answer must’ve thrown Nick off because he didn’t respond. Louis lifted a brow at Liam as they got in line. “And these two kiddos probably want to ride alone, since I’ve cock blocked them on every other ride.”
“We- that’s not- Lou- It’s…” Liam struggled to put together his protest.
“Liam, chill. I know you weren’t actually planning on getting off on the rides. But like, I’m sure you’d like the only romantic ride in whole park better with Harry than with me.” He turned back to Nick again. “And I’m not riding alone, so you have no choice.”
Louis actually hated the idea of sitting next to Nick on the painfully slow ride—it was a disaster waiting to happen—but he hated the idea of going alone even more. He was sure to put his foot in his mouth at some point and have Nick hate him more than he already did, but since he had starting taunting Nick there was no backing down. They’d be sitting next to each other for the eternity it took for the hulking machine to take them up and bring them back down.
Liam slipped behind Louis once they got in line and stood, holding hands, next to Harry. Harry rested his head on Liam’s shoulder and Louis rolled his eyes and huffed as he got in place next to Nick.
“I think they’re cute,” Nick said, barely louder than a whisper. His knuckles were white from gripping the stanchion.
“Yeah, suppose so.” They were cute, but Louis had only just gotten used to the pining before Liam made a move and Louis needed to get used to their public displays of affection. He and Nick fell silent, avoiding eye contact, and Louis people-watched as they slowly moved forward in line. The next time Louis looked over, Nick looked a little peaky.
“Come on, seriously?” he asked.
Nick blinked at him before slowly answering, “What could I possibly have done to annoy you? I’m literally just standing here quietly.”
“You look like you’re going to be sick.”
“Might be.”
“Oh my god. Why did you even come today if you weren’t planning on having any fun?”
Nick didn’t answer. He gripped the banister tighter and looked up at the ride as the multi-colored bulbs lit up, bathing them in an orange light.
“This sucks,” Nick muttered under this breath once they started moving again.
Louis huffed. Then they were both silent again as the line crept forward.
“Two?” the woman at the ticket booth asked.
Louis looked over at Nick, giving him one last chance to bail before it was too late. But instead of fleeing like Louis thought he would, Nick squared his jaw and nodded once at the woman. “Yep.”
“Okay.” She looked behind them at Harry and Liam. “Two?”
“Yep.” Liam echoed Nick’s answer.
Louis’ palms started to sweat as he watched a couple disembark from the car they’d be getting on. Then he and Nick were ushered forward and he climbed in and scooted over, leaving lots of room for Nick on the other side of the bench. Nick stretched his fingers for a moment, until the ride attendant shut the gate and the car started to move again. Then Nick gripped the seat with the hand that was between their bodies and the bar with the other.
“Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do!” Harry shouted at them as they walked past to get into the next car.
“Oh my god,” Nick groaned.
Louis assumed that the other two wouldn’t actually be doing much more than cuddling, maybe an occasional peck, as they rode, but that Harry thought they’d even get up to that much action sent a shiver down his spine. He looked across at Nick as the car swung to a stop again, and yeah, there was no way Nick would be moving from his tense and hunched position… let alone somehow falling in love with Louis and making out on the ride.
The car jerked again and Nick let out a little squeak as they tilted forward. He looked like he was about to bite through his lip and they had barely left the ground.
“Seriously, you okay?”
“No, I’m not okay—obviously—you prick.”
Louis shook his head. “This isn’t even a scary ride. I don’t get you.”
“It’s not rocket science. I’m fucking terrified of heights.”
“Oh.” Louis really should’ve guessed that.
“Oh?” Nick mocked.
“Does it help if you close your eyes?” Louis knew he couldn’t make up for being a dick earlier in the day, but maybe he could make it better from that point on.
“If I try it will you push me off?”
Louis couldn’t read his tone and really, really wanted to make a sarcastic comment but instead he shook his head. “Scout’s honor. On my best behavior.”
Nick leveled him with a look. “Still pretty sure you’ll push me off.”
“Fair enough. Nick, I promise that if you close your eyes on the Ferris wheel I will not push you off.”
“Oh my god, you’re so dramatic.”
“Says the one holding on for dear life. Just close your eyes.”
Nick did, and as much as Louis wanted to just drink him in, stare to his heart’s content (he wasn’t sure his heart would ever be content, actually…) he also didn’t want to be a creeper. He dug his camera out of his camera bag and affixed the lens he thought would work best. Doing so must have shifted the weight of the bench because then Nick’s eyes flew open, full of anger, and his hands clamped down even tighter.
“Sorry. Sorry. Didn’t do that on purpose.” He waved his camera and Nick’s eyes went wide. “Just needed to pull this out.”
“Shit, just thinking about that falling kicked off my vertigo again.” Nick blinked heavily a few times and looked out across the park. “This ride is the literal worst. Who the fuck enjoys this shit?”
“If you can’t enjoy this incredible view…” Louis swept his arm out in front of them. Nick quickly moved the hand that was glued to the chair and snatched Louis’ arm and brought it back down.
“I could keep my eyes shut if you stop bouncing us around.”
“Fine. I’ll sit as still as possible.”
Nick closed his eyes. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
At that moment they were almost at the highest point of the ride. Nick took a deep breath and Louis snapped a picture of him. The setting sun was a glowing point in the distance and as the clouds parted, Nick’s face was golden. Then the clouds were back and the lighting was pretty much perfect and Louis started snapping all the pictures he could while the ride was stopped.
With another jerk they were on the go again, this time to the very top of the wheel. Nick let out a whimper that Louis really, really wanted to call him out on, but he ignored instead. He brought his camera up and turned towards Nick. He was definitely being a bit of a creeper, but Nick had his eyes closed, so a few more shots wouldn’t hurt anyone.
“Are you taking pictures of me?” Nick asked, eyes still shut tightly.
“You might have ended up in one or two.”
“Please don’t post them. This is embarrassing enough.”
Nick had a wrinkle between his eyes that Louis wanted to soothe away. “I wouldn’t.”
Louis saw him roll his eyes under his closed lids.
“Right.”
Louis wanted to argue, but he knew it was a lost cause. He had blown his chance with Nick long ago. He sat up straight and caught a few images of a flock of birds flying against the skyline. Then the skyline itself, then the billowing smoke from a backlit factory, then some pictures of the park below them. As he looked around for another potential shot, he realized that they probably should be moving already. Nicked looked like he also realized, biting down hard on his lip and breathing deeply and full enough that Louis assumed he was counting through some anxiety.
“It’s okay, we’ll be moving soon.” He tried to keep his voice soft and soothing, the voice he used when his sisters were upset.
“It’s not just me? This is taking way too long?”
“Yeah, maybe someone needs extra help getting on or off? I’m sure it feels longer than it is. We’ll be moving soon.”
“Fuck.”
“I promise, I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Nick’s eyes flickered open. He squinted at Louis. “I don’t need you to protect me,” he spit out.
“Jesus, wow, okay. Should anything happen you’re on your own.”
There was tense silence for about a minute, and then Nick quietly asked, “What kind of thing to do you think is going to happen?”
“Nothing, actually. I think we’ll sit up here until the ride starts to move and then we’ll go back down in awkward silence and once we’re back on solid ground you can rightfully go back to hating me.”
“What?” Nick whipped his head around.
“It’s fine. I know I’m like… too much.”
A strong gust of wind rocked the car, and Nick was back to his assumed crashed position, all stiff muscles and frantic breathing and white knuckles.
“Hey.” Louis truly hated seeing him like that. “It’s okay. Just some wind. I guarantee they took that into consideration when building this.” Nick didn’t ease up. “Okay, so I get that you’re scared—I mean, I don’t really get it, since it’s irrational—but I understand that your body’s freaking out anyway.” Still no reaction. “This is what I’m going to do. I’m going to tell you about a time that I totally thought I was going to die and it all turned out fine.”
“Dude. You can stop. You don’t have to treat me like this.”
“Like a friend who needs something to keep his mind off of things for a bit? In case it’s somehow slipped your radar, I’m an excellent storyteller who loves to hear my own voice. Also, since we’re stuck up here it’s not like you can run away. Like you usually do.”
“I don’t run away from you.”
“Pretty sure you do. Was shocked that you came today because I was certain you hated me.”
Louis chanced a glance at Nick, in case there was some flicker of recognition. But, it was just more of the same.
“Right, so, anyway, you don’t do so well with heights. I don’t do so well with crowds. Well, some crowds are fine, like lines here and stuff like that doesn’t bother me, but like, with no way of getting out? Guess it’s like claustrophobia? That’s the absolute worst.”
Louis’ stomach clenched just remembering the last time it was really bad. He turned the camera around and took a quick, silly selfie to keep his voice steady. No need to freak Nick out even more.
“Don’t know if you know this about me,” Louis continued, “but I’m a huge My Bloody Valentine fan.”
Nick’s eyes actually snapped open. “Me too.”
“Oh, no shit. Were you at the show at The Metro last year?”
“No.” Nick pouted and Louis nearly swooned with how cute he looked. “Had to go see my grandma that weekend. I was miserable and a total brat the whole time. Should probably apologize, now that I’m thinking about it.”
“Well you were totally right to act that way because it was a fucking incredible show. Like, so, so, so great. Well, the part I saw anyway.”
Nick harrumphed. “Cool. This story is doing a lot to help.”
Louis absolutely did not mention that he was no longer hyperventilating and that his eyes were open, as much as he wanted to. “Sorry, next time they have a show here you’ll have to go.” The maybe with me was left unsaid. “The point is, it was supposed to be the highlight of my year, right? So we get there and they’re handing out ear plugs, because they play so loud. And the show starts and the opener, I forget who, started playing and they were fine, but not great, so I went go get a drink and the other boys stayed. And then I just… lost them?” Louis sucked in a deep breath. “And The Metro isn’t that big of a place, right? So more and more people kept just streaming in, and then they started pushing towards the stage, and I swear to god I felt like I was suffocating. People were just… everywhere… and like, I’m not the biggest dude, so I couldn’t really see around me and there was pushing and it was awful.”
Louis stopped himself to check in with Nick. He was still sitting there looking unimpressed, which was still better than him looking like he was having a panic attack. “But then, MVB came out, and it was like a tidal wave of people pushing forward. Pretty sure at one point my feet weren’t even on the ground. So they play like one, maybe two songs, and then I just knew I was going to die. Like, there was no doubt, they’d be scraping me up after the show because I’d just be goo on the ground. And then, it was just, panic. I couldn’t see and I couldn’t breathe and my hearing was so distorted and like, it was like I was invisible. I was drowning and no one realized.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah, I eventually, I don’t even know, there must have been an odd gap in the crowd or like, fuck, I’m not even religious but like someone was looking out for me because there was this separation and I was able to stumble over to this wall, and I basically followed it around the venue until I found the exit. I barely made it out before I threw up, like, everywhere. Fuck, it was so gross.” He really should have stopped talked two sentences ago. “And the security guard standing out there just thought I was some drunk kid and the world was still muffled and it was the most awful moment of my entire life. I just sat out on the sidewalk and listened to the rest of the show from out there. It was shit; should’ve just gone home, but Liam was my ride, and I couldn’t explain running out on them.”
“So you just sat outside?”
“Fuck yeah, I wasn’t going back in there.”
“Did you tell them?”
“Hm?”
“When the show let out?” Nick clarified.
“Oh,” Louis scratched at the back of his neck. “Nah, was too embarrassed. The guards kinda yelled at them for not watching out for their friend, which I kinda felt bad about, like, clearly he thought we were all delinquents. But also, fuck, they just disappeared on me. And it was really bad.”
“That sucks.”
“Yeah, told them I had left at the encore break. Still don’t think they know. We were supposed to go see a show there last week actually, and I bailed at the last minute. Told them I was sick.”
“Death Cab?” Nick asked.
“Yeah. I love them too, I was so mad at myself.”
“Ah.” Nick looked thoughtful. “Thought maybe you bailed because they told you I got a last minute ticket.”
“No! Wait. You went? Fuck. I should’ve… well, no, was probably better because I probably would’ve been even more of an ass than normal because I would’ve been so stressed.”
Nick rolled his eyes. “Surprise.”
Louis realized that Nick looked more relaxed. He hoped his story had helped somewhat.
“I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I am actually trying hard to stop that. Realized not to long ago that the guy I was interested in probably thought I was unrepant asshole, and not just a guy who was trying and failing to be funny and covering up his own insecurities.”
“So, you’re interested in someone?”
“Yes, I have a crush on the nicest dude in the world,” again the power to stop speaking would be amazing but the words kept coming, “who deserved a better day today than he had.”
“What?” Nick looked angry, his mouth a thin line and brows angled toward his nose.
Louis took a deep breath. All his previous crushes had been secrets, not only from the person he was crushing on, but also his friends. They were carefully guarded jewels that never saw the light of day. Somehow this one had gotten out, and he even suspected that Liam and Harry had caught him staring more than once. And now he was telling Nick and his stomach was nothing but rolling knots and he gripped the bars to try and ground himself.
“What’s not to like? You’re tall and kind to everyone—even me—and you have great taste in music and you’re so funny.”
“Oh.” Nick was still staring out into the middle distance, his eyes glazed over a bit.
If Nick didn’t remotely feel the same way, Louis was going to slide into a pit of despair, because this was already mortifying. “Yeah. Um, so…”
“‘So…’ what?”
“Oh.” Nick’s lack of reaction was all Louis really needed to know. It had been a long shot anyway. “Well, I guess nothing.”
“Right.” Nick closed his eyes again and went back to his death grip as the machine finally jerked them backwards.
At least they weren’t going to be stuck up in awkward purgatory forever.
The ride down felt much quicker than going up. Louis repacked his camera and lens and his cheeks flushed with embarrassment over the sneaky pics of Nick he had taken. He probably wouldn’t develop those. Although he’d have to see how his resolve held up once he and Nick were back to non-speaking terms. It would be nice to have a memento of the day, even if his heart had just been beaten to smithereens.
Nick relaxed more and more the closer they got to the ground, and once they were low enough that Louis was pretty sure they’d survive a fall, Nick let out a loud exhale and melted back into his seat.
“You’re a real asshole, you know that?” Nick turned and looked him in the eye.
“Yeah, I’m really sorry about what happened up there. I should’ve said anything. I wasn’t trying to make you more uncomfortable; the opposite, actually.”
“Absolutely terrible timing. I mean, I’ve liked you for ages, and first time you tell me, which, by the way, was far and away better than anything I’ve imagined in my wildest dreams, was in the midst of a panic attack when I was sure I was going to die.”
“Wait, what?”
“All day you’ve been asking why I even came if I hated amusement parks, but how could I possibly just tell you that I’d do all sorts of things outside of my comfort zone if it meant I could spend even a few minutes with you.
Louis was for sure mishearing him.
“And I think normally I give as well as I get, you know,” Nick plowed on. “We’re equally as bad at teasing each other, and I think today it maybe got to be too much, like, the teasing on top of my actual fears. Although, I dunno, I’m normally fucking miserable at parks like this and today’s been okay, having your attention on me like that.”
“Are you serious?”
“I mean, it definitely could’ve been better had we not gotten stuck up at very fucking top, and no one will ever, ever get me on one of these again, but, in the end, wasn’t the very worst way to spend a sunset.”
Louis’ head was spinning. They stepped off the ride and Louis stumbled toward the exit gate. “Wait, Nick, for once you’re going to have to be very clear with me.”
“I want to get down and kiss the ground.”
That was not exactly what Louis meant. “Great.”
Nick rested an arm on top of the fence and bent over, taking a few heaving breaths. “I won’t. Don’t think you’d appreciate my lips anywhere near yours after they’ve been on the ground.”
“Hey boys! Glad you both survived without killing each other,” Liam said as he and Harry walked off the ride.
“Nick, you okay? I can’t believe were stopped for so long.” Harry patted his back lovingly.
“Yeah, I was fine. Lou did a good job of keeping my mind off of our imminent death.”
Liam rolled his eyes. “Louis, please tell me you didn’t needle him the whole time you were up there.”
“Cross my heart. Was on my best behavior.”
Harry smirked. Louis flipped him off. “Okay,” Harry said. “What’re we doing next?”
“Uh, if you don’t mind, can I choose next?” Nick asked.
“Yes.” Louis nodded. “Unless you’re going to choose a baby ride or the fucking Ferris wheel again.” He quickly winked at Nick.
“Louis!” Liam smacked him on the arm.
“My vote is actually for the Tunnel of Love ride. Need something with a low center of gravity… and maybe something a bit more romantic.” Nick stepped beside Louis and slipped his arm around Louis’ shoulder.
“What the fuck happened on the Ferris wheel?” Harry practically shouted as his eyes went comically-wide.
Louis shrugged then hooked his arm around Nick’s waist. “Not entirely sure, to be honest.” He smiled at Nick, though he wasn’t entirely sure that what he thought was happening was actually happening.
“Well whatever this is…” Liam waved his hand in Louis and Nick’s general direction. “Being stuck up there sucked and I didn’t even get to make out with H because I was too worried about you two killing each other up there, so I second the love boat ride.”
Liam promptly turned and started to walk off down the path toward the ride, with Harry close behind.
“So, um, what exactly is this…?” Louis asked.
Nick smiled. “Me, not being a baby, telling you that I’m just as into you as you are me? Somehow? I have no idea how today happened, but I’m really glad it did.”
Louis smiled right back. “Me too. Who knew fear of dying would be the thing eventually bringing us together?”
Nick laughed. “Pretty sure it was just you telling me you liked me. That could’ve happened anytime.”
“Yeah, true.” Louis gave Nick’s hip a squeeze then let go. “Okay, race you there. Last one in the boat has to pay for the first date.”
“Oh, you’re on!” They started running, side by side.