Chapter Text
Chapter One
...Outside Star City...Queen Residence..Early afternoon...
Chloe set the plates of food on the patio table in front of Lois and Dinah, then set one at her own place. “There you go, lunch is served.” With a quick check to the pack-and-play she had erected a few feet away to ensure that her ten-month-old twins were playing quietly for the time being, she sat down herself.
“So what do you think it is?” Lois asked, continuing their earlier conversation. “Mmmm, this is really good, Chloe,” she added, swallowing her first bite of chicken.
“Don't look so surprised. I've gotten pretty good at this cooking thing. Eat up, there's a ton of it, since it's one of Martha's recipes. Oliver and I can't eat all of this.”
“I'm supposed to be dieting,” Lois protested and took another large bite. “I've got a wedding dress to fit into.”
Dinah chewed and swallowed. “Where's Bart?” Their resident speedster could always be counted on to rid them of extra food.
“Keystone City, some kind of local crime wave. He said he could handle it on his own,” Chloe replied.
“Back to the matter at hand,” Lois pressed. “What do you think it is? Is this a meta thing?”
Dinah shook her head. “Nope, I'm a meta and I know for a fact that I don't do it.”
“Neither do I, and Oliver's not a meta and he does. And Clark does, right Lois?” Chloe added. Lois nodded and Chloe swung her eyes back to Dinah. The other woman just focused her eyes on her plate and didn't add anything. Chloe rolled her eyes at Lois.
“Surprisingly, neither Bart or AC do either,” Chloe added.
Lois shot her a look. “And how would you know that?”
“Please, I've been on enough overnight trips with these guys to know,” Chloe stabbed at her own chicken. “And that would be a 'no' on Victor, too. I honestly have no idea bout J'onn.”
“How about Carter?” Lois asked.
“Oh, he's horrible,” Chloe groaned before her attention was caught by a sharp whimper and the frustrated wail coming from the pack-and-play.
Moira had apparently given her brother a hard shove in an attempt to wrestle a stuffed bunny from his hands. And the battle was on.
“No, Moira!” Chloe said setting down her napkin, ready to intervene but Lois patted her arm.
“Sit, eat. I'll get her. You deserve to finish a meal in peace for once while we're here.” Lois reached into the play yard and lifted Moira out. “Not nice, Mo. Your mommy doesn't like hitting. She said only bad guys, remember? Not your brother.” she told the child. Then Chloe heard her whisper faintly into Moira's ear. “Nice shot, though. Don't let him bully you just because he's a boy.”
Chloe frowned at Lois and shook her head.
Connor pulled himself to his feet using railing and whimpered again, this time at the injustice of being left alone. He blinked his green eyes at the women. Dinah caved immediately and was out of her seat, scooping him up in her arms.
“Awww, come here, handsome. That's not fair at all, is it? She hits you and she gets picked up? Don't worry, you can sit on Aunt Dinah's lap while I eat.” She shot Lois a pointed look.
Lois pursed her lips. “And Moira can sit on her Aunt Lois' lap.”
Chloe reached into the play yard and retrieved two stuffed bunnies for the babies to play with while their “Aunties” ate and handed one to each child. “It's a good thing I had twins,” she said, not for the first time.
“You were saying about Carter?” Lois asked, returning to her meal while Moira chewed on the bunny's ear on her lap.
“God, I think he's the worst of them all. He sounds like the USC Marching Band when he gets going.”
Dinah and Lois both laughed out loud, and the babies joined in even though they didn't get the joke.
“So if it's not a meta thing and it's not a man thing – what is it?” Lois asked.
“I think it's a just a 'works-too-damn-hard-without-getting-nearly-enough-sleep' thing. I've noticed that Oliver snores the most after the first patrol following a business trip. He doesn't sleep well on the road and then he tires himself out on patrol because he's guilty for being away. He's so predictable,” Chloe mused.
Lois nodded in agreement. “Clark snores the most after a natural disaster. He wears himself out with the clean-up and then he often has to put in another few hours writing the story for the Planet. That earthquake in Chile last month was pretty mild and thankfully no one was killed but it still felt like I was sleeping next to a foghorn afterward.”
Chloe giggled in response and the cousins looked expectantly at Dinah, who seemed to be avoiding their gaze by smoothing down Connor's pale blond hair. They glared at her until she met their gaze. “What?” she asked.
“Don't look so innocent, Dinah. We know,” Lois said. “We're reporters, remember? Well, I am and Chloe's still got the killer instinct.”
“It's nothing. It's just a fling,” Dinah attempted to dismiss their insinuations with a wave of her hand.
“You've been sleeping with him for three months, by my count,” Lois countered.
“At least,” Chloe agreed. “And he's had the hots for you for longer than that.”
“Friends with benefits. We're blowing off steam.” Dinah countered.
Chloe snorted,“Friends with benefits? Like that ever works.”
“Besides, don't you actually have to be friends first to make that claim?” Lois asked.
“We were...sort of. And we are now so the label fits. It's no big deal.”
“Didn't he take you out to dinner for your birthday last weekend? I know because I called him on League business during it and he nearly took my head off,” Chloe asked.
Dinah frowned. “That was you? I thought that was his office.”
“No, it was me. I needed some data but that's beside the point. He was like a bear with a sore head because I interrupted your date. A special occasion dress-up date. Face it, you're in a relationship, Dinah.”
“With Batman.” Lois added.
“With Bruce,” Dinah corrected.
“Same thing,” Lois said breezily and Moira blew a raspberry in response.
“This is all beside the point,” Chloe interjected, wiping the extra drool from Moira's face. “We were talking about the snoring. And trying to come up with a way for the three of us to get some sleep. I don't know about you guys but I'm exhausted. The twins have been sleeping through the night for a while now and I'm still being kept awake by their father. And not in a good way.”
“I've tried earplugs.” Lois confessed. “But they backfire when I can't hear my alarm clock in the morning.”
“Earplugs won't work for me. I need to be able to hear the baby monitor, not to mention the comm.”
“I tried to get Bruce to wear one of those strips that open up your nasal passages. You'd think I asked him to let me drive the Batmobile down to Fort Lauderdale for Spring Break. Flipped. Out.”
Chloe laughed. “Of course he did. Agreeing would have meant admitting that Mr. Always In Control actually does something involuntarily and we all know that can't happen.”
“So any other ideas?” Lois asked, when they had stopped laughing.
“I've tried flipping him over onto his stomach.” Dinah suggested, and gently moved Connor's curious fingers away from her silverware. “It sometimes works, especially if he's in really deep sleep and doesn't wake up ready to counter the move.”
“I should try that. They say that most people can't snore on their stomachs. Hopefully that works the same for Kryptonians.”
Chloe shook her head. “Yeah, but what about me? You guys are actually closer in size to your men. Oliver is ten inches taller than I am. And when he's sleeping, he's dead weight. How am I supposed to flip him over?”
“Good point. Well, there's always the guest room. You do have a bunch of them,” Lois told her, looking sympathetic. “I know it's not ideal but you need to sleep.”
“Nope...not an option.” Chloe said ruefully. “As bad as the snoring can be, I don't sleep well at all when Ollie's not next to me.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I'd rather muddle through with the earplugs than not sleep next to Clark. I get cold,” Lois confessed almost shyly, tickling Moira's feet. The little girl squealed in response.
“That's a 'no' for me, too. We don't get a lot of nights together and the ones we do get are pretty short. I'm not going to spend them in one of Bruce's guest rooms.” Dinah said thoughtfully, after a moment.
Lois smiled knowingly at her. “Friends with benefits, my ass.”
“Lois, language!” Chloe warned.
“Sorry.”
Chloe pushed her plate aside and reached for Moira. “My babies are going to swear like sailors thanks to you.”
Dinah leaned down to press a kiss to Connor's forehead. “Aunt Dinah doesn't swear around you guys.”
“No, Aunt Dinah was too busy getting Moira a pair of baby's first fishnets,” Lois pointed out.
“Stop it, I didn't actually buy her fishnets. I just asked Chloe how old she would need to be when I could buy them for her,” Dinah retorted.
“And the answer is still 40,” Chloe replied, letting Moira stand on her lap, chubby legs pumping. “Right, sweetie? We like your Daddy heart-attack free.”
Dinah turned Connor in her arms and let him stand on her lap as well, and he shook his bunny at her to show his approval. “Heart attack free and keeping your Mommy awake with his snoring.”
Lois shrugged. “No one said having a relationship with a super-hero was going to be easy.”
When Dinah opened her mouth to say something, Lois added, “Can it, Canary. It is a relationship. Just deal with it.”
Dinah frowned again. “Fine,” she said with resignation.
End Chapter One.