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It was warm in the mountain. Jack was wearing a t-shirt just a little too small that showed off his body and his biceps. He leaned against the door of the locker room and flexed just a little as Carter went by. She fluttered her eyelashes and a gentle smile graced her lips. He couldn't wait to kiss them.
He watched her ass as she approached her locker, wanted to stay to watch her undress but the door closed and he walked away.
Daniel was standing in the hall, reading chicken scratches on the wall. "Hey, Jack." He pointed to the wall. "This is interesting."
"If you're a geek," said Jack and passed on. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Daniel turn to look at him, his face impassive, a lurid bruise around his left eye.
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Jack approached the lift doors. They opened to reveal Daniel. He was looking at his shoes and bouncing on the balls of his foot. Jack stepped in and stood a couple of steps to the side. Daniel looked at him over his glasses and under his lashes.
Jack said, "I thought you were shipping out with SG-11."
"Maybe," said Daniel, "but I feel bad about leaving SG-1 again. I don't want you to think I'm not committed to the team."
"We'll be fine without you," said Jack. "We've got Carter." He smiled down at her and she smiled a big smug smile.
"The colonel's right, Daniel, we don't really need you." She took Jack's arm and pulled it round her shoulders. Jack shifted so their bodies fit together, and then smiled over at Daniel. He noticed Daniel had a spilt lip, bleeding.
Daniel raised his fingers and touched them to the blood. He looked at them, curious. He held them out to Jack. "Yours," he said.
The lift doors opened and Sam stepped out. "See you tomorrow," she said over her shoulder. Jack watched her hips sway as she walked away. He felt Daniel watching too, turned and shoved him away.
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Jack stood in the garden. Daniel was at his side. People sat in chairs behind him. A minister stood off to one side.
"She'd better get here soon," said Daniel, "otherwise people might think that we ..." he trailed off in the face of Jack's look.
"What?"
"You know," said Daniel. He drew himself up and looked into the distance where the forms of elements were dancing in the air.
Jack glared. "What are you doing there, anyway?" He asked. "Teal'c's my best man." He shoved Daniel away and Teal'c moved into position.
Daniel looked at them for a moment. "Actually that's better than Teal'c being the bridesmaid," he said, "because if he were and Sam didn't turn up, you would have had to marry T. As it is, T can marry Sam if you run away, and I'll marry you if Sam runs away."
This seemed all right to Jack but then Carter beamed into view. She had long hair and a long white dress. An organ struck up 'The U.S. Air Force' and she moved to stand beside Jack. The minister stepped forward. It was Colonel Simmons.
"What's he doing here?" Asked Jack.
"Silly sir," said Carter affectionately, "we have to get married secretly. We signed a secrecy agreement, remember?"
"Right," said Jack, amused. "Can't we at least have Maybourne?"
"No," said Simmons. He raised a leather-bound book and began to speak. "Do you Sir Jack O'Neill take this woman to be your lawful wedded Major? Will you admire, honour and obey her, accept that she is always right and praise her above all others, as long as you both shall live?"
"That's not how it goes," said Jack.
"He does," said Carter.
"And will you let her tinker with your truck?"
"Now just a minute—" said Jack.
"He will," said Carter.
"And do you Major Doctor Samantha Paradigm Carter take this man to be your lawful wedded Colonel? Will you be fond of him, patronize and gently scold him, will you have hot sex and dutifully laugh at his jokes, as long as you both shall live?"
"I will."
"Do you have the eagles?"
Jack was confused. Teal'c said, "He does."
Jack reached up and found his eagles on his shoulders.
"Repeat after me," said Simmons. "With these eagles..."
Jack removed his eagles. "With these eagles..."
"...I thee wed."
Jack fastened the first eagle onto the white material on Carter's shoulders. "I thee wed."
"With my rank..."
He attached the second eagle. "With my rank..."
"I thee protect."
"I thee protect."
"Then I pronounce you married. Long may it last and may you have as much happiness as is conceivable." Jack opened his mouth. Sam grabbed him, dipped him and kissed him. Then she yanked him up and waved at all the people behind them while Jack stumbled to get his balance.
Daniel caught his arm and righted him. He looked at Daniel and saw that he was crying blood. He looked quite calm. Jack reached out his hand and then stopped himself.
Lots of people were cheering. Jack saw all the wedding guests standing and applauding. He smiled awkwardly and waved.
Apophis, Hathor and Ra stood out from the crowd. Their eyes flashed. Apophis threw confetti and it turned into wasps. Daniel threw honey all over Hathor. The wasps turned and attacked her.
Ra simply raised a staff weapon. Daniel calmly stood in front of Jack and received the blast full in the chest. He stumbled for a moment, pulled out Jack's P-90 and killed both Goa'uld. Then he dropped the weapon. Jack saw stigmata open on Daniel's hands and feet, looking like bullet holes. He put on a military cap and blood began to drip down his forehead.
"Major Carter?"
Jack turned and saw General Hammond standing there with a box.
"Sir?" Said Carter.
"You did a terrific job stopping those Goa'uld and saving this wedding party. You are hereby promoted to the rank of General." He opened the box. Two stars were nestled inside.
"What about Daniel?" Asked Jack.
"He's a civilian," said George. "There's nothing we can offer him. We need military heroes, Jack. And we need people like Brigadier General Samantha Carter."
Jack's eagles became real and flew off Carter's shoulders. They soared up and then glided down towards Jack. Just before they lit on his shoulders, two gunshots thundered and the eagles flopped to the ground. Ugly wounds tore each feathered chest and blood dripped from their wings. Simmons blew smoke from his heavy automatic and walked away.
Carter's stars were twinkling on her shoulders and she was wearing a dress uniform cap. Behind her, the 'gate was open. Teal'c stood on the ramp, geared up and ready to go.
"Come on, O'Neill," Carter said, "it's time for our honeymoon. There's an amazing Ancient weapons array on P90 M5."
Jack looked down and found himself geared up. "What about Daniel?"
"We don't want him on our honeymoon."
"I'm not crazy about Teal'c being there."
"Teal'c's not dangerous. Daniel's always making trouble. Besides, he'll just die." She took Teal'c's staff weapon and threw it to Jack. The weapon opened as soon as he caught it. "Here. Kill him now, get it over with."
Jack felt horror curl in his guts. He started to sweat. "No. No way. Never."
Jack tried to drop the staff weapon but it was stuck to his hands. The head kept twitching to face Daniel and Jack had to use all his strength to turn it away.
Teal'c spoke. "You must kill him, O'Neill. Have we not seen many times that it is DanielJackson's fate to die?"
"And he doesn't mind," said Carter, "do you, Daniel? Not if it's Jack who does it."
"No, Sam, I don't mind." Daniel's voice was oddly flat. Jack turned to him.
Daniel was standing naked. All his wounds were visible, including the terrible burns on his chest. Most horrible was the red jagged wound where his genitals had been chopped off.
Jack choked and gagged. Horror and grief rushed through him. The staff weapon fell from his hands. He reached out to take Daniel in his arms.
Carter grabbed him. "That won't do, will it, O'Neill? It's not appropriate for an Air Force Colonel."
He struggled with her. "Get off me. Daniel!"
"You mustn't turn to him. I'll keep you safe." She shoved her hand through his zipper and grabbed his genitals. She pulled them out. Her other hand held shiny, bloody sickle above her head. It descended.
Jack screamed, the terror tearing from his throat. Sweat coated his body. The room was dark. His hands clutched at his genitals. The room was ... dark. Dark. Just a faint light coming from the window.
Oh. Thank. God.
He dropped back onto the pillows, gasping, desperately relieved to be free from the nightmare. His hands stayed clamped to his crotch.
His breathing slowed. The sweat began to cool. It was uncomfortable and he became aware that the sheets were damp.
He stood up and pulled on his dressing gown. One hand returned to a gentle massage of his balls, with the occasional caress of his penis. An image of the blood-soaked Daniel flashed into his mind. He winced and forced it away.
Focus. Focus on stripping the bed. An image of taking off his eagles. Stop. No. New sheets. Clean and fresh. Daniel bruised. No. Old sheets in the basket. Now get a towel. Wipe yourself down. Be especially gentle with the family jewels.
He caved and switched on the light. He examined his crotch tenderly. It was OK. Fine. He knew that. Of course. Just a touch of anxiety left over.
He pulled on some new cotton pajama trousers, turned off the light and lay down.
The anxiety began to pull at him, a little stronger. He unconsciously stroked and held his penis. It was a comfort thing.
He told himself there were no mad Majors in his closet. He eyed the closet door. Taking his gun and checking out the closet would be beyond stupid. Of course, only he would know he had done it. Unless someone just happened to be in his closet. Then he wouldn't look stupid. He would be a hard-ass Special Ops colonel with finely honed senses and instincts.
Jack sighed. He could bear looking stupid in front of himself if it restored his calm and allowed him to sleep.
He ended up creeping through the whole house with his gun, checking every hiding place and rechecking every lock. He was alone, as his rational brain had known. Now his jumpy id was reassured, he went back to bed.
As he fell asleep, he wondered briefly how Daniel would react if Jack called him at oh-dark-thirty and asked how his balls were. He slept before he could form an answer.
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Jack didn't think about the nightmare again until he met Daniel in the corridor. Several shocking images flashed through his mind.
"Hey ... Jack. Are you OK?"
Jack didn't ask Daniel how his balls were. He returned to the day and said, "Fine. Just got a meeting with the team leaders. You want lunch?"
"Sure. Ah, you'd better come ..."
"...and get you when it's time." Jack flashed a half smile. "See you then."
"OK."
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Jack arrived at Daniel's office slightly before 1300 hours. He wandered in and picked up a rock. It was dull. He put it down and looked it Daniel. Daniel, he decided, wasn't dull.
For much of his life, he'd have thought that someone who studied rocks and worked his way through tons of dirt with a brush would be, say, not his first choice of companion. Yet Daniel had for a long time been just that.
Lately he'd been making Carter or Teal'c his first choice. He wondered now why it had changed. Especially since he was happier spending time with Daniel. Not that he disliked time with Carter and Teal'c, just he fit best with Daniel. Which was odd since they didn't fit at all. See? This was why he never considered their friendship, because trying to figure it out made it all unravel.
He pushed away the thoughts and cleared his throat. Daniel waved one finger and kept typing. Jack flicked his eyebrows and looked around to see if there was anything to play with.
"Hi, sir."
The cheery greeting behind him made Jack yelp, flatten himself to the wall and grab his crotch protectively.
There was a pause while Daniel and Carter eyed Jack and Jack casually dropped his hand off his crotch, eased his posture and assumed a careless expression. He wondered if he should say something and decided that feigned ignorance had always worked well for him and probably wouldn't fail now.
"Carter."
Daniel and Carter traded glances and looked back at Jack. Daniel opened his mouth. Jack turned to Carter.
"You joining us for lunch?"
"Yes. If that's OK." She looked at Daniel in case he had any clue.
Daniel shrugged. "Fine by me," he said. "Just let me finish this paragraph."
"Sure." Carter looked at Jack uncertainly. He smiled at her. Images from his dream jumped in his head - Carter flirting with him; Carter in a wedding dress; Carter the general sweetly telling him to kill Daniel. Daniel, damaged, bleeding.
He resisted the impulse to place his body between Carter and Daniel, and to ask Daniel if Jack could just check that Daniel's genitals were intact. "So, Carter. How're you doing with that shield device?"
"Pretty well, actually, sir." Carter's tension eased a bit and she started to give him a run-down on the project. While she talked, Jack studied her and felt ashamed. None of the dream images fit over the real Carter. She was a friendly, intelligent woman, strong, curious, and happy, attractive and largely uninterested in her attractiveness, kind when she saw unhappiness, thoughtful of her friends, brilliant, steady, and generally ethical. So why had he made her into a witch?
"It should be ready to test soon."
"Great," said Jack, years of marriage letting him pick up the salient point and respond. "That's good work." He looked at Daniel who was now standing by him. "Shall we go?" He asked.
Daniel was examining his face with narrowed eyes. "Yes," he said. He blinked and gave up his inspection. "I hear it's apple and caramel pie today."
"Yup," said Jack happily, and led them out, hopeful that he had got away without having to talk about weddings or sickles.
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Perhaps because he had separated the dream-distorted Carter from the real one, he also seemed to have pushed away the Jack-distorted Carter, the woman he had been building this last year, with whom he had flirted and shared intimate looks. He couldn't flirt with her now, even though she offered a couple of openings. She noticed and Jack thought that Daniel did too. He was safe, though. Since they had never talked about it before, there was no way to ask now.
Their conversation was awkward. He'd flung them back a year and they found it hard to adjust. Daniel and Sam shot each other a couple of looks. Daniel gave rather tentative answers. Carter kept trying to assert herself but Jack was colonel to her major again. Not purely formal but not close. He felt bad when she looked confused and hurt. He couldn't undo it though. Perhaps they could be friends again in a while. Right now, the more they spoke, the more he realized he'd been unprofessional and it wouldn't do either of their careers any good.
He gulped down his pie more quickly than it deserved. "Well, kids, I'll see you both at the briefing tomorrow." He stood. "0900 hours. Should be a blast. I hear Hammond's brushing up on his Gettysburg Address." He moved off saying, "Don't want to miss him in a stove pipe hat. The beard is a hell of a bonus too."
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Jack threw out the yoyo and flicked it back. The yoyo used to be a tribal weapon. He had a secret hope that one day they would run across a society that still used it. He always took a heavy metal yoyo offworld, hidden in a pocket, just in case.
He had thought the nightmare would have faded by now. He had managed to put Carter in some perspective. Now, though, the images of Daniel wouldn't be kept at bay. They disturbed him. Sure, Daniel was always getting hurt. Jack had had nightmares before about Daniel's injuries. It had never been him hurting Daniel, though.
He flicked the yo-yo again and rolled it back along the carpet before jumping it into his hand. The castration thing upset him the most. Why had he dreamt that? Jack was not in the habit of examining his dreams but that was something he couldn't get out of his head.
The telephone rang. Jack snatched his hand away from his crotch. He answered the phone and General Hammond requested his presence. Jack left his office and headed to the lift.
The doors opened to reveal Daniel. He was bouncing gently on the balls of his feet, gazing into the distance. Jack stepped in gingerly and stood beside him. The lift part of the nightmare played in his head. He resisted the desire to touch Daniel's lip. Instead he blurted, "Do you want to come over tonight?"
Daniel looked at him in surprise. Jack remembered it had been a while since Daniel had been to his house without Carter and Teal'c along. Nevertheless Daniel replied, "Sure."
"Good," said Jack. The lift doors opened. "See you then." He left hurriedly, not wanting to think any more about the previous night or the one to come.
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They sat on the deck in the late evening sun. The barbecue was cooling, a wasp was tasting the smears of ketchup on empty plates. Daniel waved a fly away from his wine. Jack dangled his beer from his fingertips. He sighed.
The sigh broke the comfortable silence and Daniel looked at him. "Problem?"
Jack sighed again. The evening had brought him to an irksome conclusion. His concern for Daniel's genitals predated the dream. His concern for Daniel, all of Daniel, was something he had been running from. Damn.
He looked at Daniel. The man was relaxed in the recliner, one leg stretched out, the other foot on the ground. The setting sun illuminated the colors of his hair. He had taken off his glasses to avoid the sun's glare. He was looking at Jack, showing his own concern and Jack wondered if maybe, just maybe...
"Are you OK?" Daniel narrowed his eyes and smiled sideways. "You've been a little odd today."
Jack looked away across the yard. "Ye-ah. I, uh..." Jack inclined his head, "...had a nightmare last night. It was powerful. Kinda made me..." he waved a hand and took a breath, "...examine some stuff. Some stuff I've been avoiding."
"About Sam."
Damn, but Daniel could ambush a man. Why did he always want to talk about things Jack didn't? "Among others."
Daniel was now examining his wineglass in microscopic detail. "I know we've never ... talked about—"
"And there's a reason for that."
"Right." Daniel took a breath. "Forgive me, Jack, but I ... . Explain it to me. Please. Because I don't see you making each other happy. I've tried. I just can't imagine ..."
"I agree."
"... you as a househusband. What?"
"What?!"
"You agree?"
"Househusband?"
Daniel blinked, "Well, I mean, that's the only possible way I see it going well."
Jack was still gaping at him. "With me as a househusband?"
"Well, it's more likely than Sam as a housewife."
Jack thought about this. "True." He thought some more. "Why would either of us have to be?"
"Sam wants kids but she doesn't want to stay home with them. Maybe if she weren't military, was just at some lab somewhere working on solar energy or NASA shuttles or," he flicked a smile, "deep space telemetry, then I could imagine her with a baby strapped to her back or in a crate-come-playpen in the corner of the lab. It's not a possibility at the SGC, though. So you'd either have to pay someone to look after your kid most of the time, in which case why bother, or you'd have to stay home.
"Also, Sam's ambitious. You want to retire to the cabin in a few years. She won't live there with you, Jack. She couldn't be happy. Sam wants to make General and get a Nobel Prize and still be doing wonders when she's seventy. And she will. But will you trail around after her, wherever she goes? Will you give up retirement in Minnesota?
"Maybe you would, I don't know, I mean after all, you never get there much now." He stared into the distance. "You never know what happens inside a relationship. What people see doesn't matter, it's what's behind closed doors that decides if you're happy. And you never know what people will do for love."
"No," said Jack softly, "but I don't love Carter."
Daniel looked at him and Jack looked back. He met Daniel's gaze too long and Daniel saw. Jack looked away.
Daniel downed his wine and took a deep breath. "Of course I might be biased about you and Sam."
That could mean two things, though Jack. His heart sped up. "How so?"
Daniel shot him an irritated look which Jack caught. In his most sarcastic tone of voice, Daniel said, "I'm madly in love with Sam and I feel threatened by your intense virility."
Jack relaxed and offered Daniel a smug grin. "Intense virility, huh? Glad you noticed."
"And, of course, the deep empathy between you and Sam is something I could never compete with. All your conversations about astrophysics, hockey, quantum theory and fishing. The two of you are just so in tune."
Jack narrowed his eyes but kept a soft smile. "Unlike our conversations about rocks and hockey and Sumerian and fishing."
Daniel smiled. He looked into his empty wineglass and then threw it to Jack. Jack caught it and looked at Daniel in surprise. Daniel slid off his recliner and sat on the end of Jack's, facing his friend.
"Before you," said Daniel, "I had no friends I didn't talk specifics with. All my conversations were about something. Then you showed me how to talk about nothing. And you showed me how to sit in silence. So. I'm not feeling that threatened by your deep sympathy with Sam."
Jack snorted and put glass and bottle onto the deck. He lay back and lazily ran his gaze over Daniel. "What about my intense virility?"
Daniel smiled. "I think I could compete with you there."
Jack reached out and stroked his palm over Daniel's bicep, then pulled down the zip on the front of his sweater to see the top of his chest. "I wouldn't say compete. How about requite?"
Daniel took Jack's hand and kissed it. "I will requite you in every way that strengthens us."
Their first kiss was chaste, the second sweet. They stroked each other through cloth but it soon wasn't enough. Jack led Daniel by the hand to his room. They moved to stand pressed together. Their kisses became strong, covering mouths, jaws and necks. Their hands began to strip off clothing. Their strength flowed together and set up a feedback loop of arousal.
Jack felt Daniel's hardness press against his own. The last vague fear from the dream left him and he relaxed. He pushed Daniel onto the bed and went on his knees, though, exploring with mouth and tongue and fingers. Just to be sure.
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Fin
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