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"Fuck."
His usual prolonged blinks and exasperated sighs were never without due cause, but right then, Shiro couldn't muster the comprehension to even purse his lips in silent disapproval. The last few days had been weird. Weirder than the everyday humdrum of flying robotic sentient lion spacecraft, saving the universe, all its inhabitants and all that. Nah this was Weird™. Space mall had lead to space bar and then getting very very messed up with some space alcohol he really hadn't meant to drink.
The tiles in his private bathroom were cool on his feet as Shiro stood in a wide stance, knees slightly bent as he craned his neck around his torso to see if he could actually see what the fuck was wrong with him. Now don't get him wrong, he was familiar with his ass and the range of its usual function, but this left him totally clueless.
See, when his fingers dipped down to somewhere he instinctively knew he really shouldn't be touching, there was this pressure building up in his lower abdomen, the warm ring of muscle was stretched uncomfortably taut around something very unfamiliar. It was smooth, and warm, and Shiro knew he definitely hadn't stuck anything up his ass in months, let alone anytime recently, and he doubted anything he ate could be this big or..
Another sudden contraction across his belly totally threw his train of thought and made him wince, gasping and almost swallowing air as he tensed. Whatever it was that was somehow plugging up his hole, it wanted to come out.
He reached blindly for a towel, yanking the thick fabric off of its rail and letting it fall. He followed it to the floor, kneeling on the thick material with his legs spread and his back arched, teeth gritted in determination.
He brought his metal hand around to probe around the area, finding that the object fucking buried in him was going to be of a decent size, as it was poking out of his hole a little bit, stretching him out, and it hadn't even reached the full width of its girth. Shiro swallowed.
He pushed hard, using muscles he hadn't had to really use for probably more than a year now. And slowly, reluctantly, out popped the smooth thing with a wet plop into his waiting palm.
Shit.
He sat down, finally free of whatever that thing was, and brought his arm back around to the front of his body.
What the actual fuck.
In his silver palm sat an egg. Smooth and cream-coloured, probably around the size of a goose egg, Shiro guessed before he could really wrap his head around that he had just pushed an egg out of his asshole. He'd laid an egg.
What the fuck.
Nope.
Shiro stood, still staring dumbly at the ovoid in his hand, before quickly wrapping it up in the towel, setting the bundle in the nearest corner, and walking straight out of the bathroom.
-
If he was acting weird, no one called him out on it. If he seemed to favour standing up more than usual, no one commented. He was fine. Totally fine. And apparently capable of laying eggs. Totally fucking fine.
He had to excuse himself from the lounge to relocate his meltdown to the training room. Away from inquisitive eyes.
The bad thing was, it kept happening. Probably once in a space week, building uncomfortable cramps in his gut culminated into an egg that he promptly laid and got rid of. And it appeared that the cycle or whatever was speeding up.
He didn't want to think about what was in the eggs, but he also didn't want to unknowingly kill them. So he kicked the temperature in his room hotter than his face got whenever he thought about what was happening. He also kept his eggs (his eggs) underneath his blanket on his bed, being super careful to never let anyone into his room. He barely slept too, to be honest. He was shit scared of crushing whatever was in the eggs. So he was drinking a lot of space coffee, getting constantly hyped and restless from some high strength space caffeine that honestly felt more like a narcotic. Well. Someone was bound to notice.
It was getting bad when the ache in his belly wasn't really going away, and it was very bad when a sharp pain jolted through him whilst he was with the rest of the team, herding a bunch of refugees to their waiting lions to ferry them to the friendly population on their neighbouring planet. It was coming. But he was going to hold it in for fucks sakes. He isn't going to show these people that one of their rescuers wasn't strong enough to control himself. Fuck no.
He had barely reached his room when he desperately stripped his armour, unzipped he undersuit, shoved his hand between his clammy skin and the Lycra and he dropped his egg in his still-gloved hand. Gross.
He set it down with the others, and looked in the mirror, running his not-gross hand through his hair and stared at himself scrutinizingly. He should probably tell someone. But what would he say?
"Hey Pidge, can you look up abnormal ovulation cycles in humans please? Specifically male ones with no female reproductive system?"
"Hey Hunk, what do you know about eggs? Do you know how to tell what's going to hatch from them and when? Because I've got a whole clutch of them in my bed and-"
"Coran do you know any weird illnesses or conditions that might make certain species lay eggs? If so, how would you stop it? Also can you feel this weird lump right under my bellybutton? Is that normal?"
He sighed, casting an exhausted glance at his dark circles in the mirror and grumbling at the smattering of freckles that had started to flower across the top of his cheeks. Fucking great. Now he'd have to ask hunk about getting lemon juice in space because he doubted Lance had any face products that would work for him.
But anyway. He couldn't go to anyone who might have an idea about whatever the fuck was happening. Nah, but he did have one option.
-
"Shiro how the fuck did you get all of these into the castle without anyone noticing?" Was the first thing that came out of Keith's mouth when Shiro pulled back his bedsheets to expose his growing collection.
He shrugged, swallowing down a shake in his voice so he could keep his story clear.
"I don't know, but I found them alone on the last planet. No mo- parent around, didn't want the babies to die," he said smoothly. "What do I do with them? We can't just like throw them out."
Keith shook his head. "'Course not. Do you have a torch?"
"We're not cooking them, Keith," Shiro said firmly.
Keith shot him a very unimpressed look. "No, but we should check whether they're actually fertile."
"Oh."
He stepped out of the room and dragged a hand over his face. This was not going smoothly. But he could recover. It was fine. Keith wasn't going to kill his eggs, he was from Texas, he probably knew about eggs from being around chickens right? Texas was like 90% farms right? And chickens lived on farms and chickens laid eggs and oh god Keith probably has no idea what he's doing and he's gonna destroy his eggs and-
"What's up big guy?" Pidge called from across a long room he found himself standing in the entrance to. Why was he here? Pidge, lab, tech, right! Torch.
"Do you have a torch?" He blurted.
Pidge blinked from behind their big round glasses, hands that were messing with some kind of circuit board stilled as they looked over at Shiro. "Or just a light?"
Pidge looked up at the hanging ceiling lights and then back down at Shiro. "...Why?" They questioned.
"Keith needs um- I have-"
"If this is a sex thing I don't want to hear it."
"No! No no god no- gross, Pidge, thanks." Shiro rubbed his eyes tiredly. He took a deep breath. This was fine. Totally fine. "I found some eggs on the last planet. Keith wants to find out if they're fertile and he needs a torch for some reason."
Pidge nodded and rummaged through a big pile of wires and panels, reminding Shiro somewhat of a magpie amongst a collection of shiny trinkets. They tossed a small object towards the doorway and Shiro caught it gingerly.
"If there's alien babies I want to pat them, okay?" They said sternly and Shiro had to take a tick before he nodded and left quickly, scrambling back to his room.
"Calm down, they're gonna be fine," Keith assured Shiro as he caught his breath and handed the kid what was presumably a torch of some description. "Cool."
Shiro watched over Keith's shoulder as he picked up an egg. "You did a good job by the way," Keith continued.
"What?" Shiro spluttered, eyes wide, no, Keith couldn't have figured him out, right? Shit.
"Putting them in your bed, it kept them warm. So if there is anything in there, it was probably the best thing you could have done. So nice job," he went on. Keith clicked the light of the torch on, and aside from a slight pinkish tint to the beam, the torch looked like a regular led. Keith held it up to the bottom of the big egg and held it up to look at it more closely.
He glanced over at Shiro, "Would you mind hitting the lights? It's a little bright in here."
"Yeah yeah, of course."
With the lights off, the torches light shone through the egg, and the insides glowed dimly. Shiro stepped closer in some kind of morbid fascination. Keith was scrutinising the egg from every angle. His egg. That he'd laid. His egg that had come out of him and was being examined by his brother. What the f-
"Looks like you're in the clear," Keith concluded. "Better check the others though, and we'll want Coran to check them off too, just in case. But I don't think they have little babies in there."
Shiro looked at the egg and then at Keith in the dim pink light. "How can you tell?"
"I had to do this with chook eggs for years, then gators, and turkeys, and birds, and a lot of other things. It's called candling, hold up a light to the shell," He explained, gesturing to the egg. "And if you can see two little dots reflecting it, or just a bit brighter than the fluids inside, those are the eyes of the baby and the egg's fertile. If not you're cool to eat it. Once we get the rest checked out we could give them to hunk to see what if he can-"
"No!" Shiro almost yelled because that was not a thought he wanted to even think about. "No that's ok, it won't be necessary."
"Shiro-"
"Could you please check the rest of them? I'll go get Coran."
-
"Well my boy," Coran had beamed. He reached down to pick up a couple of eggs and brought them up to examine them. "There doesn't appear to be any foetus, but the thing is. This is the doing of a dahgtril. Not very pleasant for the host. You see- the species reproduces somewhat parasitically, by impregnating a third party to raise their young for them. It does require two of them though, and it seems to be that this host was only unlucky enough to encounter one of them, thus the eggs remain infertile but their body continues to produce."
Keith had totally spaced, but Shiro was deathly still. "How long does the host keep producing?" He asked, eyes firmly locked down on the group of eggs. He was growing anxious, but at least now he knew what was going on.. to some degree.
"Ah well," Coran began. "From memory, either until the process becomes too much for their body and they die, or when production is forced to stop."
Well shit. "Thanks Coran, now how do we dispose of the eggs? And no- you and Hunk are not allowed to cook them."
Corans moustache drooped. "I suppose I can find a container to store them in until we can land on another market planet."
"Thanks Coran," Shiro gave a worn out smile. This was bad. If he didn't find a way to stop it, he was going to die. And if he went back to Coran to ask how to stop it, he would probably die of embarrassment. Shit. He'd have to go ask tomorrow, he was already embarrassed enough for one day. So much for being an emotionally invincible leader. Oh well.
The next day the uncomfortable weight in his ass was back when he woke up. But he was determined today. This had to stop. So he took a deep breath, standing up from his bed, and tensed his abs. He could hold it. No big deal.
He pulled on a better shirt, gave up on smoothing his untameable hair, and walked down the bright corridor towards the mess hall. Right into a trap.
"Yeargh!" Came a loud noise from beside the entrance as soon as Shiro stepped through it. Lance jumped out at the same time, waving his arms in some weird attempt at keeping him freaked out.
Well, Shiro had certainly jumped right out of his skin. And apparently, so had the egg he'd been so determined to hold.
The shell was held flush to his skin by the tight pants he was wearing, but there was no way it was going back where it came from. Shiro stood, frozen, as it began to roll downwards down the inside of his right leg, an unmistakeable shape travelling down inside his tights.
And everyone's eyes were on him. Shiros eyes flitted around the room. Pidge had stopped paying attention to their laptop in favour of staring at the travelling lump. Hunk had stopped mid way to delivering another couple of plates to the table. Keith sat at his usual spot on the table, but his eyes were trained on Shiro's face. And Lance. Well. The yelled "I told you so!"s were a bit of a giveaway as to what he was thinking.
The egg rolled down his calf, popped out the bottom of his pant leg, and landed with a gentle thud on the cold metal. He swallowed.
"Shiro-"
Nope. Nope nope nope nope no. No. That had not just happened.
Shiro quickly spun on his heels and walked straight out of there.
-
"Well it appears our Black Paladin has a bit of a problem," Allura began. "Coran's checking him out in the med bay, just let him have some space. He's probably not too thrilled to have you all know, but we must support him. The stages to cure his malady are going to get pretty painful, so please be nice to him."
"Shiro is laying eggs," Pidge said deadpan.
Hunk nodded and Lance let out a little snigger.
"You asshole," Keith narrowed his eyes at Lance. "He probably isn't too thrilled either."
"Yeah true," Lance tried to compose himself before he turned to look at the pale egg sitting on the table. "That's kinda hot."
"Lance!"
-
"So you're saying, all I need to do to get this to stop is just stop laying them?" Shiro asked quietly.
Coran looked at him with sympathy. "It isn't going to be easy, and it's a rather uncomfortable process, but essentially yes. If you don't let them pass, your body will get the message that the reproduction isn't going to work and will eventually stop producing. But you cannot even allow one to pass, because then all the progress will be lost and you're going to have to start again. With your cycle speeding up too, that could be a very dangerous affair. So you're going to want to apply this twice a day cycle, just as you wake up and before you go to sleep."
Coran handed him a tub of weird smelling cream that Shiro took cautiously.
"It will help the pains, and it'll be over before you know it! I'll be checking up every few days to see how you're going. Don't hesitate to come to me if you have any issues though!" Coran was cheery and way too upbeat for Shiro right now. So he thanked him, took his cream, and left.
When he returned to his room, his bed was empty. Rather than freak out, he set the cream on his bedside table and just totally crashed into a well deserved nap.
Not letting the eggs um.. pass.. was a lot more difficult than Shiro had expected. Coupled with the fact that this new cycle didn't impact on the function of his digestive system, even trying to hold in a build up of two eggs was too much. He ended up laying several more times before Coran held an intervention. This was going too fast and he needed to start the treatment otherwise a lot of things could go very wrong.
A needle in his arm shot some drug into his veins that apparently would direct all excrement to his urethra instead of the other end, to make things a little easier on him. But Shiro knew he wasn't capable. Forgive him for not training that set of muscles. No matter how determined he was. He couldn't do it by himself.
Someone left a gift for him outside his door. No note meant he didn't know where it came from, and probably for the better too when he realised what it was. Inside a box lay something Shiro hadn't seen for a long time, and the size of it made him wince preemptively. But it would work.
It was a butt plug. He didn't really want to think about whose it was or even how it got on the ship, but it was covered in a clear film to keep it sterile so it had to be okay. Shiro bent down to pick it up and hurried into his room, locking the door resolutely.
The system that had made the eggs also produced a weird fluid. And with no sort of lube that he could be sure was safe for humans, he was so so thankful for it when he prodded at his hole with a couple of fingers, massaging slightly before pressing them in.
He groaned as he felt the next egg, pushing his two fingers in completely and trying to shift it up further so it couldn't bother him. It was so foreign, so so weird, but if he wasn't so mortally flustered he might even say it felt a little good.
He curled his fingers and scissored them apart, he just wanted this over as soon as possible. He added another digit, using it to push the egg up further and he gasped as he managed to press it up against his prostate, but he couldn't quite reach it to move it off. So it was stuck there, and he was starting to drop with fluid, running down his hand and onto his bedsheets as he pushed his fingers further and further in.
And of course, it was then that he heard a knock on the door that had him scrambling to dive under his sheets.
"Hey Shiro? You in there buddy?" He heard someone, Lance, call out.
There was another cautious knock.
"Y-yeah," Shiro called back weakly.
He heard a shuffle. "Can I come in? I just wanted to come and say sorry for the other day, it was a real dick move and I wasn't being very understanding. You haven't really been around much and I just wanted to come and see if you were okay."
Shiro shut his eyes and shuffled so that he was sitting cross legged and he was very sure that his lower half was covered. He wiped his fingers on the bedsheets and swallowed lightly. The weight in him was incredibly uncomfortable, and the plug was still sitting in its box on the other end of his bed, god damnit. He couldn't really move for fear of letting the egg out, but he needed the plug. And he couldn't reach.
"Shiro? You alright dude?"
Shiro swiped his hair out of his sweaty face. "Yeah, yep. I'm okay."
"You sure? Can I come in? Haven't seen you in days dude."
Shiro let his head loll back and quietly told his room the code to open the door. It didn't seem like he had much of a choice but he really didn't want Lance to see this. Or anyone really. But he would appreciate someone passing him the box just so he could get this over and done with.
"Can I do anything? Wait- Shiro what the quiznak what are you doing?" Lance said, louder than Shiro probably would have liked, as the door slid closed again behind him. "Dude. Buddy. Do you.. d'you need a hand or something?"
The concern in his tone was tangible. Dripping like the sweat on Shiro's temple.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "This must be a little uncomfortable for you but if you would like to talk about something we can ignore this," he paused and made a gesture towards his stomach to his waist, "I'm here for you if you need anything, regardless of whatever's going on with me."
Lance cautiously sat down on the bed to face him, "What's this?" He asked and before he could stop him, Lance had slid the lid on the box to reveal its context and he quickly drew his hand back, face flushed as he turned to look at Shiro, then at his hands, and the lack of a waist band poking out from under the blankets. Shit. He wasn't wearing pants was he? Was he laying or something? What the fuck was he going to do with the plug.
"..Shiro?" Lance murmured. "What /are/ you doing?"
Shiro coughed awkwardly. "I don't think you want to know."
"Try me."
He took a breath to steady himself. "Coran said the only way to stop.. this.. is to um-" Shiro cleared his throat. "Is to keep the.. eggs.. in long enough to convince my body to stop um, making them. And I can't really do that without..." he trailed off and nodded towards the box.
"Dude really?" Lances eyes widened. "So you're like, holding in your eggs right now?"
Shiro winced. "Barely," he mumbled. Sitting was helping, and pressing the heel of one of his feet up against his hole was preventing anything slipping out. But he was totally crowning.
"No fucking way let me see!"
Lance was pulling back the sheets before Shiro grabbed onto them to keep himself decent. At least as decent as he could be. As Lances leader and good friend, it really didn't feel right to let him see Shiro so vulnerable.
"Please don't," he borderline /whimpered/. He mentally scolded himself because what in the everloving fuck was wrong with him. He shouldn't even have Lance in here, this was already way too weird, but he kind of appreciated not being alone.
"Do you want me to help?" Lance asked, very cautious. He shuffled a little closer and put his hand on where Shiro's leg looked like it was under the blanket. "I mean, only if you're comfortable, I don't want to pressure you or anything but like, do you want me to..?"
"You don't have to-"
"I want to. Can I look?"
Despite his best instincts, Shiro found himself shifting around a bit, nodding, and letting Lance peel back the sheets. He quickly moved to put a pillow in front of his junk and Lance's eyes practically bugged out of his skull.
"Holy Shit. Dude.. can I..?"
Shiro nodded again and Lances warm hands were walking down the sides of his hips and the small off his back and oh-
He bit back a flustered groan as Lance experimentally presssed a fingertip around the taut skin at his rim, and he felt him tracing the surface of an egg just behind the ring of muscle, but still only just sticking out of his opening. Shiro couldn't quite read the sound that Lance made but the massaging and exploring felt- and he couldn't believe he was saying it- but it felt really nice.
"Holy Shit Shiro, that's so weird," Lance breathed, looking up at him with his face suddenly very close. When Shiro narrowed his eyes, he pressed on. "So you have to keep this in? Lucky you're so tight," he muttered.
"Oh my god," Shiro muttered.
"Just Lance is fine my dude," Lance shot back with twin finger guns and a wink. "Do you have to like, press it back in or something?"
Shiro nodded with his face slightly redder than he really wanted to admit.
"Fuck dude you have no idea how hot that is."
Shiro buried his face in his hands, hole clenching involuntarily and he just kind of wanted the bed just swallow him so he didn't have to deal with this. It was wrong. This was so so wrong. But there Lance was, with his long fingers almost /groping/ him.
And then Lance pushed.
Shiro let out this delicious moan that tiptoed the line between extremely attractive and downright scandalous. He clamped a metal band over his mouth as his eyes squeezed shut. There was an angle that Lance was pressing that there was no way he could reach himself and it was so much better.
Disbelief twinkled in Lances wide blue eyes and Shiro swallowed.
Lance kept his eyes trained on Shiro's expression as he twisted his fingers deeper, forcing the egg back further until he physically couldn't reach any more. Shiro's toes were curling around nothing and his eyes were wide, breathing rugged and his arms only just keeping him propped up. Whatever forces in the universe had led them to this moment, and that had made Shiro this mind blowingly gorgeous, Lance was thanking them as he watched Shiro's t shirt ride up and show even more of the definitive V of his hip bones. Fuck.
"Could you turn over?" Lance asked gently.
What. "Why? Lance I don't think-"
"I'm not going to fuck you," Lance assures him, and that really shouldn't have been as deflating as it was. "Can you hold your legs up then?"
Lance was nestled between his legs, at some point they had uncrossed to spread eagle with Lance between them, Shiro was giving him full, shameful, access to anything. Everything. Why did he do this.
He was reminded when he felt a wet intrusion. With the pillow loosely abandoned, Shiro groaned something unholy and he felt Lance smile. He felt it, face muscles twitching against his perineum. Then Lance ducked down to kiss the tight, sensitive skin before he gave Shiro's hole another small lick. He dragged one hand down the inside of Shiro's thigh, just dragging it softly, slowly, tantalising and Shiro wanted more.
Lance circled his rim, and Shiro groaned again when his tongue pushed in wetly. The small stretch was a welcome reprise from the eggs, the texture alone was sending him crazy. Lance dragged his tongue along Shiro's inner wall and his lips curled into a smile as he felt Shiro spasm beneath him. He sucked gently before pressing his face as close up against Shiro's ass as it could go, flattening his tongue to drag it up deeper inside of him and Shiro fucking moaned. High pitched and shaky, and total music to Lance's ears, an embellishment and extension of the rhythm he was creating.
"Lance," Shiro groaned out, his voice trembling weakly. "Fuck."
Lance pulled his tongue out to press another small kiss to the rim and he blinked sweetly up at the flustered mess above him.
"Can I blow you?"
"Fuck yes."
Then Lance was around him, wet lips going down, down, down his cock and his length was disappearing into the warmth of Lances throat. That gorgeous tongue was pressing up against the underside of his dick and then Lance had sunk down to the hilt. Did this guy have no gag reflex? Shiro would have been concerned if it hadn't been for fingers pressing up into his asshole gently as Lance swallowed around him. He bobbed gently as he sunk and scissored his fingers into Shiro, hollowing his cheeks and lapping up the precome seeping out from the tip. Shiro watched Lance deepthroat and hum around him, saw his wrist flexing, Lances fingers hitting that one spot in him, forcing one of his eggs back at the same time and using his other hand to press and massage Shiro's abs and Shiro could only pull back slightly and mutter a "C-close," before he was done. He was streaming into Lance's willing mouth, clenching around his fingers, and another moan slipping from his lips.
His eyes fluttered closed. He felt Lance swallow. Then he felt something cold and smooth against his ass, fingers pulling out no matter how he moved to try and follow them.
"Lance?" He asked weakly before he gasped and held his breath. Lance pushed the plug into him soundlessly, and even despite the fingering, it was a bit of a burning stretch until it popped into place, base flush against his skin. Shit.
"All done, all good," Lance murmured and pressed one more kiss to Shiro's inflamed rim before he brushed his hair from his face with his clean hand and sat back up on the bed.
Shiro let himself fall back so he was lying down, eyes fluttering closed. Did he really just do that? Oh god, did Lance really just do that?
"I'm s-sorry," Shiro said hoarsely.
"Dude what, why? Was that not okay? Oh shit bro I should've -"
"It was fantastic, thanks," His words were drawn out, the spaces between the rolling syllables much longer than was probably acceptable. "Want me to suck you off?"
He opened a sleepy eye to Lance, who shook his head with a bit of a blush. "There's uh, no need dude, you have a nap, I'm all good."
"...Really?"
"What can I say dude. You're fucking hot."
With that, Lance sent him a flustered smile before he left, closing the door behind him and leaving Shiro in a total state.
What. Just. Happened.
A curious hand dipped down and confirmed that yes, he did have the plug in him so yes, presumably Lance did just grace him with the best sex he can remember. And Lance had managed to get off by eating him out, pushing up at his eggs, and then plugging up his ass.
Shiro groaned and closed his eyes. He was not going to move for a while.
-
Eventually though, he did have to sit up. He experimentally pushed himself up with both arms and winced when he was upright. He knew why he was uncomfortable. There was no way he'd address it though.
He clenched around the plug and tried to jiggle the bit on the outside that was holding it in place. A decently sized spacer between the actual bulb and the bit on the outside made sure that it really wasn't going anywhere, his rim had tightened around it and there was no way the blunt end of the object was going to make its way back out by accident, even with big stupid eggs pushing against it. He didn't even want to think about the direction that thought got his blood going. He could not believe himself.
Walking proved a bit of a challenge, he'd had trouble just trying to hold in an egg. Being forced to keep not one, not two, but several largish objects in a space where there really weren't supposed to be was predictably uncomfortable, and he could swear there was something pushing the skin of his belly out just a touch when he stood sideways in front of the mirror. But he shifted to look at himself straight on and quelled that thought.
A couple of leg and back stretches later, Shiro was a little more confident in his ability to walk properly and let out a deep sigh. This would be a long day.
He took a shower before heading over to the mess hall, purposefully running the water hotter than usual to steam up the mirror so he could easily avoid his reflection and pretend it was just a coincidence.
He pulled on his clothes and set out. To the hall. To see the others. To see- oh shit. Lance.
Had Lance told the others? What could he tell them? What if he told them that Shiro took advantage of him? Oh god. What if he did take advantage of Lance? Come to think of it, Lance had been the one asking for his consent, but did Shiro ever ask him? His memory was fuzzy at best but he couldn't remember if he'd ever actually asked him if he was okay to do what he'd done. Oh shit. Shiro took advantage of him. Oh god- fuck, he was such an-
"Shiro!" Someone called and snapped him out of that vortex of thought, his head whipping up to look at the source. Hunk. He relaxed a little and gave him a small smile.
"How was your night? I hope you slept well," Shiro greeted warmly.
"You're so sweet bro," Hunk beamed. "Slept like a log. A space log. How about you?"
How had he slept? "Yeah great actually, ready for today's training."
"Awesome. Did Coran fix you up? No more weird parasitic alien stuff?" Hunk asked conversationally, resuming his prep work for some stew he was going to put on to steam down for a while during the day. A lot of rock solid vegetables and fruits with some interesting spices and roots and leaves that apparently smelled okay together. No meat. They didn't really eat too much meat, they'd come across a lot of intelligent species and Hunk didn't really fancy killing the populations they were working so hard to save.
"Uh, yeah," Shiro frowned. "Kind of. Working on it."
"Ah sorry bro, shouldn't have asked," he said sympathetically as he scraped the contents of his chopping board into a large thick pot.
Shiro shrugged and took a seat on one of the stools at the kitchen counter. His feet curled around the legs of the chair without him really registering it.
"Anything I can help with?" He asked, Hunk grinned and handed him a peeler with a whole bunch of smallish vegetables that looked a little like parsnips, except a lot more blue.
Keith came in not too long after, he exchanged a sleepy smile with Hunk and Shiro before he pulled a knife out of some concealed drawer on the other side and nabbed a few of the uncut veggies Hunk was working on. With a short look at Hunk's cutting board, Keith was off, cutting up the rest of the alien food in the same size as Hunk had whilst the cook moved onto a different vegetable. Shiro watched their little system with a fond smile as he made his best efforts not to kill his fingers with the peeler he'd been given.
When Lance came in, giving Shiro a sort of embarrassed smile, he waltzed around the counter, pecked Hunk on the cheek before grabbing a glass of water, leaning on the bench before he looked down somewhere to the left.
"Sup Pigeon," he grinned sleepily, getting a positive sounding mumble in reply. Shiro had no idea they were in the room as well, or when they'd got here, but he shrugged. Pidge thrived on stealth.
Shiro watched from the other side of the bench. Their smooth interactions, comfortable in the quiet and so so aware of each other, but making it look so effortless, like they were in some meticulously choreographed routine. Shiro nicked his finger and cussed to himself.
~
The next few days were pretty uncomfortable. He was sure there was a little protrusion in his gut, and his skin was not loving him for it. He'd been excused from training on the grounds of working more on his diplomacy and space social and cultural literacy. Allura had been teaching him the ins and outs of trying not to offend the governing parties of unfamiliar societies and as much as he was interested and trying to soak in every bit of advice- he was aching all over and he had constant stomach pains.
When he relayed that to Coran after he came to check on him, he realised he hadn't been using the cream that he'd been given. Coran told him it was to increase the elasticity of his skin, and he'd need to keep applying it, on his abdomen, ribs, and sides otherwise the pains would get worse and his organs would get crushed, and as soon as he'd made his way back to his quarters, he dug out the little container of ointment and hesitantly slathered it onto his skin as directed, watching it seep into his skin as he swallowed and pushed at his belly gently, a little alarmed at the feeling of things shuffling around inside of him, but that was okay. He'd live.
He made his way out to the others, not participating for obvious reasons in the physical conditioning, but he played through some strategic exercises that Pidge and Hunk had developed, which was apparently an excuse to play an old game called 'Dungeons and Dragons', according to Lance's grumbling.
They'd messed around for a while, dishing out bowls of hunk's stew on top of some steamed grains and sat around to eat, a positive little haze falling down around them before, of course, Shiro felt a sharp twinge deep inside his belly. He kept a straight face, but casually tried kneading his gut a little with one hand whilst he kept eating, but he couldn't help a pained groan when he felt a weight shift inside of him. Face red, he excused himself to go lie down and burrito in some blankets. He was not liking this. Not at all. Serves him right for not checking what kind of alien he'd apparently hooked up with.
He grumbled to himself as he sat down gently and curled up under his sheets. He couldn't even lie on his front, and moving around too much caused the eggs to shift inside him which was super unpleasant and annoying since Shiro was very restless in general, especially while asleep.
He barely batted an eye when a voice called out from behind his closed door.
"Shiro dude are you okay? I brought you a heat pack and some dessert if you want it," He heard Lance say. He was so sweet and thoughtful, he could be annoying as hell, but he was so nice as well, and Shiro couldn't fight a smile creeping onto his face.
"The door's open," he called back and quickly it was sliding open and footsteps were rushing in as it closed again automatically.
"Hey," Lance grinned. His eyes were bright even in the dim light, and his arms were full of things that Shiro could only assume wasn't just a heat pack and some more food. "I brought you stuff! How're you feeling? Doing okay?"
Shiro nodded with a small smile and shifted over so Lance could sit if he wanted. "Yeah all good, you?"
"Pidge and Keith just destroyed me at monopoly, but aside from the tattered remains of my ego, I'm doing pretty alright." Lance set out the stuff he'd brought onto the bed. "Alrighty, first of all," he started, trailing off as he brushed containers off from a small flexible fabric mat that he handed to Shiro.
The warmth was immediate and lovely. He quickly positioned the heat pack on his abs and immediately relaxed like ten centimetres down into the mattress. Okay that was good.
"And Hunk found out he could make a juice smoothie thing from that one fruit you like, and I reckon it tastes kinda like mango. He also did up some like caramel stuff? I don't know, apparently sugar's pretty universal, but he made it into little blocks and let me tell you, when you stick them in those berries from Graw-6 it is literally heavenly and Hunk is a god. So I saved a bunch of them for you, and some water and space bread from Coran if you're not really feeling it, but I've gotta warn you it is pretty solid, tastes ok though but I guess you can make your own opinion on it. Keith wanted me to bring you this cool rock he found, which is kind of weird but here it is, and Pidge just kinda grunted from their computer so I think that means they hope you feel better soon," Lance was rambling and he knew it, but the fond eyes looking up at him made it almost impossible to stop. He took a breath before frowning and tapping on his knees a little anxiously.
"This is so thoughtful of you, thanks," Shiro said earnestly. "You didn't have to go to all of this trouble."
"It's all cool, do you want anything else?" Lance asked.
Shiro pulled himself up so his back was resting against the corner behind him, feet still under the thick blanket. "I'm fine, what other games did you guys get up to?"
He popped a berry into his mouth and listened to Lance go on about their night after Shiro had left, which got him onto a tangent about the time that his parents had left him and his siblings to entertain themselves and the subsequent chaos, the reason his dog was scared of his younger sister, and the burn marks that they all swear they don't know anything about.
Lance took a couple of the berries too, and made a show of catching them in his mouth like kids would do with popcorn or Jellybeans or anything. And he let Shiro feed him chunks of the space bread that he'd torn off as payback for accidentally spilling half of the juice. It was kinda cute.
But Shiro could feel his skin throbbing as Lance went on, and when he eventually had to reach for the cream from Coran, Lance offered to do it for him. Shiro was reluctant, but all remaining doubts were rubbed away as Lance's warm hands spread careful amounts of he weird substance over the expanses of his skin up under his shirt. But he couldn't help feeling a little exposed, especially when Lance was cupping the little mound on his belly and stroking it gently with his thumbs.
"What's this meant to do?" He asked softly. He didn't really mean to pry, he was just curious and didn't really have any filter between his mouth and his brain.
Shiro trained his eyes to where Lance was gently massaging him. He wouldn't find it too weird, right?
"It's meant to help my skin stretch more, so none of the organs get crushed. It makes things less painful which I uh, kinda need at the moment, but it's going to make things a lot easier later on," he explained, pushing clumps of his hair away from his face.
"Later on? Dude how much longer have you got to..?" Lance trailed off with concern.
"I don't know, neither does Coran. Hopefully not too long, until the eggs stop and a few quintants after that. I'm not really looking forward to it, but there's no other way. Except dying. So..." Shiro joked dryly. He really was not thrilled about what was coming. Allura had taken the castle to a cleaner and more remote part of space where they should be okay until he recovers, but if they aren't, he's not going to be much use to Voltron when he's trying to keep his condition away from the others.
They already knew of course, thanks Lance, but that didn't mean he was cool with them seeing him like this, or like he expected he was going to end up; swollen with eggs and almost totally unable to move.
"Until then, the cream's gonna help when they build up and start to force me to um," Shiro paused and stuck his hand out in front of his gut for emphasis of what he couldn't really say out loud. Why was he telling Lance this. "Just so it doesn't hurt as much."
"Shit Shiro, as much? That's horrible!" Lance looked at him with concern and Shiro just laughed hollowly.
"Yeah and the cycle's just getting shorter as well. More eggs at a much faster rate, and I'm just going to keep growing," Shiro smiled sarcastically with a joking thumbs up before he sighed quietly. "So I'm going to have a lot of difficulty doing a lot of things soon, so I'm gonna stock up on food so I can kind of hibernate in here."
"Dude. I'll bring you stuff to eat and stuff! No problems, I'm sure Hunk'll-"
"No! No please don't tell the others," Shiro pleaded.
Lance shot him a lopsided look that Shiro didn't really understand, but he nodded. "All good, but they'll be worried."
"Yeah I know."
"Alright, but I'm still bringing you shit so you have to let me in so you don't get too bored," Lance winked.
"Oh my god."
-
Well. Shiro had been right. He'd totally ballooned. The weight of the eggs was overbearing and any slight shift would send them careening into each other uncomfortably. His gut would rest on his thighs whenever he sat up, and it rolled out sideways way past his usual waist line. If he ran his hands over the bump, he could feel the outlines of individual eggs, and he could definitely see them from under his skin. He'd been growing exponentially for the past week and a half, and he hadn't stood up without help for a few days now.
Lance was still dropping by whenever he had a spare moment, and he'd rub Shiro's shoulders and his chest and he'd knead his bump lightly in a way that only felt okay when Lance did it. He brought Shiro food and talked to Coran and Shiro hadn't really seen anyone but the two of them in quite some time now but that was okay, as the next day upon using some alien stethoscope or whatever, Coran gave him the all clear and told him that he had three days before he was good to let them all pass.
Of course Shiro had realised early on what the end of the treatment was going to be like. But now it loomed over him he was a little more terrified. He didn't know how many eggs he had bumping around inside his engorged belly, but he knew that letting them all 'pass' was not going to be pleasant at all. Coran told him that he could only remove them surgically if he couldn't pass them without it, so he was going to have to at least try to force every. Single. Egg. Out of his ass. His ass that had been plugged for almost two weeks. It was not going to be pleasant.
He looked down and poked at the eggs, watching the way his skin stretched and bounced back with a jiggle. He grumbled and laid back down.
-
He'd been stuffed with his own eggs for long enough. Waddled through endless exhausting corridors before just staying in his room for days. Kept himself isolated from pure embarrassment and the only one who had really stuck with him, or the only one Shiro had allowed near him, was here with him now. The last day.
He really, /really/ wanted to be alone for this, so with a weak excuse that he needed to pee, he shut himself in the bathroom to freak out by himself.
At least they'd found some safe lubricant somewhere recently. Shiro pumped some into his hand before he was kneeling on the floor and bringing it to the base of the plug and trying to twist his fingers in beside it to try and loosen himself a little bit before he tugged hard.
After two alien weeks. The blue plug came out with a slightly painful and wet pop.
Here it comes.
Shiro crawled into his bathtub slowly, heaving himself up and into the hollowed out stone. Much better than the floor.
The eggs were jostling, but there was no real movement, no matter how hard he tried to push he just couldn't do it. They were too big.
He could barely reach around his gut to stretch himself and the effort of taking out the plug had left him exhausted but he needed these fucking eggs /out/.
"Shiro? You okay buddy? You'll be fine I promise, you ready?" Lance was calling out.
"It's okay, I got it," he called back.
"Dude I'm here to help, you can do it alone if you want to, gotta respect your privacy but it's probably gonna be better if I stick around just so someone can go get Coran if something starts to go wrong."
Well. He had a point.
"I um- I already started," he says, weakly.
"You what? Shiro?" He could practically hear the frown.
"I might need a hand, I don't think I can really come out," he admitted with a bit of a groan. All this time. And now he couldn't get the fucking eggs out. Joy.
But that wasn't too bad, because Lance was beside him in a heart beat. Shiro didn't have the capacity to think about how he got hat door open so quickly, and he wasn't about to question it.
"What's-"
"Can't get them out," Shiro said quietly.
Lance chewed on his lip and frowned, looking down at him in the bath tub and Shiro felt very very vulnerable. He did not like this.
"Are you stretched enough, do you think?" He asked nervously and carded his long fingers through Shiro's hair.
"I-I don't think so, but I can't reach now," he groaned.
"I got it, it's okay, just hang on bro. It's all good," Lance cooed softly, scanning the room before he found the lube and spread some across his fingers before he shifted around to step into the tub with Shiro and his spread legs. God he looked like he was almost gonna burst.
Lance made quick but gentle work of fingering Shiro open. He was worryingly tight, but when Lance's fingers pressed deeper, he eventually felt his fingers brush up against the smooth bottom of an egg. He made eye contact with Shiro, knew he could feel it too, before he added a third finger slowly, gently, Shiro almost panting above him.
"It's okay, I've got you, it's alright. You're going to be fine," Lance was trying to comfort him into relaxing a little instead of launching into some kind of attack because that really wouldn't be good right about now.
He shifted and scissored his fingers apart, letting them press up deep into Shiro then splay slightly as they drew back, curling them slightly as he pushed up again, to avoid doing any damage with his nails because again; that would be bad.
"You're almost there dude, so so close, do you reckon you can push a little bit?" Lance asked gently.
Shiro's breath hitched but he found himself nodding and closing his eyes and flexing his abs wherever they had disappeared to and he could feel things /moving/. He swore under his breath as he felt it poke at his opening, he was so close now, so so close.
Lance's wet fingers were at his rim, coaxing out the egg gently and soothing the stretched skin with a very welcome coolness. He was muttering encouragement and compliments as Shiro strained and finally.
An egg. In Lance's hand.
"It's a girl!" Lance yelled with fake tears of pride, holding up the egg lion king style, much to Shiro's mortification. What the actual fuck.
But no time to chastise him for immaturity, because there was another egg ready and waiting at his entrance, and it wasn't going to be any easier. He hissed at Lance to get his attention and sure enough there was more gentle rubbing at the edge of his hole to try and ease it out gently. Gently, gently, and then it was out with a pop, and another one was coming and Shiro was squirming and gasping and groaning and shuffling and Lance needed to do something.
"Babe? I'm just going to go get some stuff, I'll be back in a blink I promise, yell if you need me," Lance was tripping over his words as he vaulted out of the bathtub and into Shiro's main room, and to his.. cupboard! Yes!
He bundled up all the spare towels and blankets he could and ran back into the tiled room to find Shiro glaring at him exasperatedly before his expression softened into appreciation.
"You're the best, but please hurry," Shiro groaned, shuffling forward to let Lance shove a couple of blankets between his back and the tough stone, putting one bundled up behind his head too before he gently lifted Shiro's hips and slid a folded towel under him so he wasn't lying on something quite so rough.
"Okay we're good," he said. "Lets go número tres!"
Somewhere during a gap between eggs, Lance had fashioned a little nest out of some spare towels for the eggs that were coming out of Shiro. It was just to keep them together and not rolling around where they could get squashed, he had said. Or get in the way, he had added when Shiro grumbled that he didn't care if they smashed.
But he was almost there, maybe. Lance had no idea how many there were to go, but this seemed like it was getting a little less rough on Shiro as the time passed. He was resisting the urge to press on the inflated belly in front of him, just to see what would happen, but he was not prepared for the scolding he'd get in return. He just had to help Shiro through this. It was going to be okay.
The mound was going down, slowly, slowly, as Shiro laid egg after egg with intermissions of gasped breaths and little jokes from Lance in some attempt at calming him down a little.
"Hey Shiro," he'd said, fighting back a grin as he held the most recent egg in his hand.
"Mm?"
"Can we call this one Eggward?"
Shiro's face dropped into the most disappointed deadpan Lance had ever been subjected to, until the corners of Shiro's bitten lips curled up into a small smile.
"I hate you," he'd said fondly.
And Lance had beamed right back.
The next arrival was Eggwina, then Gregg, Peggy, Sunny (Side Up), Shelly, Shiro junior, Alluregg, Hunk Garegg, Pigeon, Mullet, Sendegg, Sendmoreeggs, and then...
"Lance McEgg," Shiro said quickly, right as Lance opened his mouth to dub the new arrival some other nasty egg pun.
"I am touched," Lance said, wiping a fake tear from his eye as he settled his eggy counterpart into the towel nest.
Shiro nodded righteously.
"I think this might be the last one," he said quietly.
"No way, let me feel!" Lance didn't wait to hear any objections and put both his hands on Shiro's belly, cold hands shocked him into letting out a high pitched squeak and Lances eyes widened.
"L-Lance.. no-"
But Lance had already dug his fingers into Shiro's side and Shiro almost squealed before he slapped Lance's hand away.
"Quit it." Shiro narrowed his eyes in a 'touch me again and see what happens' kind of way. He was almost clean of this shitty situation and he was not gonna let anything or anyone prolong it. There was one more egg to go, and Lance's fingers were back on him, but gentler and pressing into his abdomen softly, finding no more strange solid lumps and giving him the all clear.
Shiro took in one last big breath and with a little persuasion, the last egg was out. He slumped back and let his eyes close, he kicked his legs up and curled up into himself with deep breaths, flexing and stretching out his hips better than he'd been able to in weeks.
"D'you wanna go back to bed?" Asked Lance in a voice barely above a whisper and Shiro could only nod. He was wiped out, and definitely wasn't going to be wording right now. Lance almost cooed at him again, feeling somewhat like a proud mother as he gently picked Shiro up as smoothly as possible. He was no Hunk, but Shiro wasn't too heavy, just as long as he didn't need to be carried for too long.
And as much as Lance was /not/ going to drop him, he was a lot less graceful in placing Shiro on the bed than intended. Thankfully Shiro shot him a grateful and exhausted smile, before rolling over onto his front and starfishing out, quickly becoming unresponsive. Lance just tucked down a small stray clump of his black hair and left him to sleep peacefully. (But not before tiptoeing back into the bathroom and kidnapping an egg to drop on a certain insufferable mullet head.)