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I threw the test in the small waste basket in the corner of the bathroom Sam and I both share. The stupid little test read 'positive' but, this didn't seem real. I couldn't be pregnant. We were so careful not to slip up. I, of course, was wrong. I am pregnant with Sam Winchesters baby and I'm fucking terrified.
What will he say?
What will he do?
Would he want to keep it?
Would he still want me?
Questions upon questions rattles in my head as it pounds as a gigantic headache making me feel more ill about the situation at hand. I blow a large breath out of my lungs and walk out of the bathroom and into Sam and I's bedroom. I sit on the edge of our bed and look towards his side of the white sheeted bed. It was made and it was cold. He hasn't been here in a couple days. Sam, Dean and Mary had left the bunker after we had killed the British Men of Letters due to Lucifer being back in the game to claim his son.
The Nephilim.
I tried convincing Sam to let me go along and help him but he refused because he said it was much to dangerous because of the condition I was in. I had been shot in the lung, but I was able to heal myself but not all the way. I wasn't at full power and that wasn't good enough for Sam. Honestly I couldn't blame him for refusing to not have me tag along. He wanted me safe and I wasn't going to argue with him. He's the love of my life. My soulmate. I trusted him enough to make the right decision.
Which brings me back to this question.
Would he want to keep it?
Would he want to keep this Nephilim?
Even if I didn't survive this baby's birth, would he still want him or her?
I heard a loud slam of metal sound throughout the silent bunker. I got up and opened my half way opened door. I heard talking which led to yelling then something slamming and then silence once more. I walked passed the library and into the room which had a giant table with a map of the world on it. Sam stood at one end of the large map table. I saw a smashed liquor bottle on the floor but something was missing.
I scanned the room and noticed Dean was nowhere in sight. I presumed he went back outside because I would have saw him walk passed me in the hallway leading to the other rooms. Sam didn't notice me at first until I spoke. "Hey Sam." I noticed my voice was shaking. Should I tell him now or wait? Sam turned to me and gave me a weak smile. "Hey sweetheart. How are you feeling?" We met each other in the middle of the room. He wrapped his arms around me and let out a shakey breath. He was on edge.
"I'm okay but Sam, what's wrong? What happened while you were gone? Did- did someone die?" I let out and small aired out chuckle. I looked as his smile altered. He looked like he was going to cry. "No Sam. Who-?" He just lost it. I saw tears fall from his eyes and land on his red jacket that he wore. "I'm so fucking sorry Y/n." I took his hands in mine and had him sit down in one of the old wooden chairs that were near us. "Sam just calm down. Tell me what happened baby. Who died?" He just covered his face with his hands and sobbed.
I have know him for years now and never in my time with this beautiful man have I ever seen him break down like this. "Sammy please." I felt my emotions get the best of me and felt my heart start to break slowly as the sight of him crying broke me into two pieces. He brought me onto his lap and just held me close. I heard the roar of the Impala sounding from outside the bunker doorway then silence which was followed by two pairs of footsteps. That must be Dean and Mary. I looked towards the door as it opened slowly.
I felt it. I felt the power as the Nephilim walked in front of dean with ease. My eyes looked towards Dean's and all I saw was pain and anger. Mary wasn't behind them and neither was Kelly Kline or my older brother Castiel. I got up Sam's lap and backed away as Dean led the Nephilim down the staircase and over towards Sam. Who of which was now standing tall and was protectively standing in front of me. I backed away from all three of them. The irony of this situation was bittersweet.
I was pregnant with a Nephilim but it wasn't the spawn of Satan. It was a Winchester. I tried to speak but nothing came out. My eyes wondered to the eyes of Satan's son's. "Hello Y/n." His voice dripped with venom. "Why did you bring him here?" I looked at the two very tall Winchester men that stood before me. "We need your help." Dean spoke roughly as his eyes pleaded with wonder. "I don't know what to do Dean. Where's Castiel? He should know what to do." I said as my eyes just scanned over the abomination in the room.
"You didn't fucking tell her, did you Sam?" My eyes shot over to Sam. "What is he talking about Sam? What aren't you telling me?" Sam wouldn't look at me as he said those three life changing words. "Cas is dead." The air was thick. My mind went blank. "What?" A soft cracked voice sounded from dry throat. "That's impossible. I would have felt him go- Samuel look at me!" My voice cracked more as I yelled. His bloodshot eyes made their way up to mine. "Castiel isn't dead Sam. I would know if he did."
Sam nor Dean didn't say a damn word. "She's right you know." He spoke. "Every angel would have felt it. God himself would have felt it. Castiel isn't Dead. The least I can say is that he's alive but not in human form. If we can find whatever or wherever he's hiding, then I can bring him back." I looked at the Nephilim with caution. Is he telling the truth? My eyes met the one's of Satan's spawns'. "We? There is no 'we' Jack -" "Dean shut the fuck up. If he says he can save my brother than why not try? What else do we have to lose?"
. . . . . .
A week later
I walked into Sam and I's shared bathroom and started stripping my clothes to take a shower. I turned on the faucet and waited as the cold water turned into a steamy hot perfect shower. I felt something move in my stomach as I placed a hand on my bellybutton. I looked in the mirror and saw that a small bump was forming. I know I'm pregnant but it couldn't be happening this fast. I mean Kelly's pregnancy took longer and she was pregnant with Lucifer's baby. Why is this any different? She didn't feel it move until two months. I felt it move again as I rubbed my belly.
I didn't even get to tell Sam yet. He's going to notice sooner or later. I need to tell him but first I needed a shower. I turned on the small radio on the counter and then I turned and walked into the shower. The hot water ran all over my sore muscles and felt amazing. I washed my hair and my body. I let the water run over me for about a couple minutes more until two strong arms were wrapped around my stomach. "Hey baby." His deep rough voice sounded through the sound of the shower. I didn't want him to feel my stomach or he might just freak out.
"Hey Sam. I was just about to get out. Gotta help Jack with searching for Castiel." I went to pull away from him but he just pulled me right back and I turned so I was facing him. Him being so tall that my stomach was touching ... his dick. I was starting to feel the motion of the baby and so I tried to not be so close to him but it was impossible. "No you're not going anywhere. Dean said Jack found some weird weather changes in Utah. So they went to check it out." He started kissing my neck. "So it's * just you * and me * for the next couple days." He set his forehead onto my own and bumped our noses together. The baby started moving more and I started getting really nervous. "Okay but maybe we can go out. We haven't in a while." I said trying to get him to let go of me. I felt the baby kick near my bellybutton and Sam deffinetly had felt that.
"What was that?" Sam looked down to my stomach. "It's nothing babe. What are tou talking about." Real fucking smooth Y/n. "You're stomach it- it moved." His grip loosened on me and I was able to move out of the shower. I grabbed my towel and quickly wrapped it around my naked body. "It didn't move Sam. Are you feeling okay?" I asked trying to conceal my stomach. He looked at me skeptically. "I'm feeling fine but I don't think you are. What's been going on with you lately? You've been so distant." The tone of his voice was heartbreaking yet kind of angry. "Nothing is going on with me. I'm just on edge because of Jack and Castiel." I turned to walk out of the bathroom and into our shared room. I heard the shower turn off and out came Sam with dripping wet hair and a white towel around his waist. "That's bullshit and you know it Y/n. You've been acting weird ever since we came home from the cabin. Did I do something? If I did I'm sorry sweetheart but can you tell me what I did?"
There was no anger in his tone just sorrow. It was breaking my heart not being able to tell him that I was pregnant with his angelic human baby. "Sam it's not-" He held up his hand to make me stop talking. "Don't you dare say it's not you it's me. Are you breaking up with me?" The air was thick. It was that type of ear defining silence that kills. Moments passed and I didn't say anything. He just looked at me with tear in his hazel eyes. "Well that's just great." His voice was barely audible at this point. He got dressed and just took a pair of keys off the side table and bumped my should while leaving the room. I just stood there starstruck. I heard the bunker door slam and I winced at the sound.
"Fuck." I said as I wrapped the towel tightly around me and sat on the edge of our bed. I felt our baby move in my stomach again. "I know sweetheart. It's going to be okay." I said while rubbing my stomach. "Let's go on a vacation." I got up and dressed in a pair of jeans and a t shirt. I put on my black boots and grabbed my duffel out from under the bed. I snapped my finger and all my belongings were instantly inside my bag, neatly folded. I grabbed my phone and purse then grabbed my duffel bag from the bed. "Where to sweetheart?" The baby moved and I just rubbed my belly. "To Pennsylvania it is." I snapped my fingers and I appeared right in the middle of my favorite place in the wooded area state.