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Tony enjoyed shocking Steve.
Ever since the Avengers moved into the tower, it kinda became a game for him. Bruce said it was his way of dealing with his Captain America shaped trauma growing up, but Tony called bullshit on it.
He just liked the way Steve blushed.
And alright, by now he knew the difference between Captain America and Steve Rogers - he had been cataloging it ever since the fight with the Chitauri ended. The perfect image Howard had painted of the good Captain wasn’t exactly wrong - and that had been a very annoying discovery, but it wasn’t complete. Howard had never bothered to tell Tony how irresponsible Steve could be, how he threw himself into danger recklessly, without a care in the world for his own health.
Howard never told Tony about Steve’s snark and how he hadn’t any problems playfully mocking his teammates. Simply put, Tony grew up competing with the idea of perfection but in real life, Steve Rogers was so much better.
Tony tried to not like him, but failed at every turn. The differences between them were inumerous but somehow they got each other, and in between sleepless night talking shit of modern media and lazy days spent in the workshop, Tony creating and Steve drawing away, they had become friends.
Thus, the Shock Your Local Nonagenarian Game started.
They had been walking through Central Park, ice creams in hand, and hands excitedly moving when it happened for the first time.
A couple was making out in one of the benches, and when Steve spotted them he blushed so hard Tony worried a vein would pop, and quickened his step staring at the ground.
After that, Tony didn’t measure efforts in trying for a take two.
He sent a soft porn video to Steve’s phone (he wasn’t so evil as to send hardcore stuff), and had been rewarded with a light blush and a glare, but it hadn’t been enough to satisfy him.
Tony took Steve to Hooters, and got smacked by Natasha for his troubles but only managed to get a raised eyebrow from the super soldier. Steve was catching up quickly, so Tony changed plans.
He played 16 and pregnant and other deliciously modern reality shows on the communal tv, and pretended to enjoy it. Steve had merely sighed sadly, and then posted on twitter how sad the state of sexual education in the country was.
Of course, Nick Fury, instead of chewing Steve out had given Tony an earful that really wasn’t so bad compared to the one Pepper gave to him after she figured out what he was trying to do.
But, proving once again how truly awesome she was, even after their break up being amazing and wonderful and one of the best friends he could ever have because… she gave him a couple tips, and suddenly he got Steve blushing for real.
Pepper send over ridiculously expensive paintings, and Tony gave them to Steve as gifts. Now, that blush had been almost as satisfying as that day on the park. H had stuttered reasons why he couldn’t accept the gift but Tony insisted and he went all ‘aw shucks’ and ‘that’s really swell of you, shellhead’.
By the way, the shellhead nickname? Yeah, that had made Tony blush for reasons he doesn’t want to delve in into.
And so, Tony, following Peppers advice, had been reliably shocking Steve for the last five months. He did everything - expensive gifts, outings to baseball games and art galleries, cutesy nicknames and…
Wait, Tony realised one day. Was he dating Steve Rogers?
“Seriously, you are just noticing that now?” Pepper laughed at his despair. Honestly, how could he ever thought she was awesome oh my god she had conned him into dating Captain fucking America. And he hadn’t even got a kiss for his troubles, that was just sad.
“Pepper, what do I do?” he whined.
“Tony, everybody can see you like him. Natasha bitches about it during every single one of our afternoon teas. You make eyes at him, you tease him, when he is around you barely pay attention to anyone else… Really, you’re so into him. It’s cute.”
“But why didn’t you tell me that before?” he closed his eyes and massaged his incoming migraine. God, she was right, but he thought he had been more subtle than that.
“You needed to figure it out by yourself, honey. I only intervened because you showing him porn was the opposite of wooing him.”
“Oh my god I have been wooing him!” he gave up and let his head hit the desk.
“Yep. And you’ve been succeeding! Everybody knows he likes you too.”
And then Tony started seeing everything in a new light:
How Steve always made sure to bring him food and coffee in the workshop, how he would tempt him away from there when he spend more than 24 hours without leaving, with promises of movies and food or sparring sessions that Steve would always phrase like it was Tony doing him the favor and not the other way round; how Tony would be so tired after sparring Steve would easily convince him to shower and take a quick nap before going back to the workshop and how those naps would last hours; how he always listened to Tony’s techno rambles and oh my god, Steve had been reading on engineering to be able to understand him better how could that not be a blaring sign?
Him having a crush on Steve wasn't surprising. Everyone who knew him would eventually develop a crush, his face was just too much and his body, dear god.
But it seemed he had been falling in love with Steve, and even worse, Steve was falling in love with him back.
Now, what?
You’d think it would be easy right? Boy likes boy likes boy, and they could maybe kiss and make out and have a happily ever after - but… Tony was scared. He had messed up his last relationship and he didn’t want to risk losing Steve.
And so, for now, he said nothing.
Accidentally, though, he also pulled away from Steve little by little. He was so stuck up in his own head he didn’t even notice he was doing it, ignoring Steve’s little hurt looks and Natasha’s murderous one.
Two weeks later, even JARVIS was being cold towards him.
But everything came to clash during one of the rare team dinners with everyone home.
Thor was boasting about how smart his Jane was, third burger already half eaten is his plate, and Steve looked at ease sitting beside him, a little smile in his face as he attentively listened to what the God was saying. Bruce munched on his fries with a far away look at one end of the table, and Clint was playing at stealing the fries and replacing them with the carrot sticks Bruce always insisted on adding to their more greasy meals but nobody ever ate. So far, he hadn’t noticed. Natasha, meanwhile, stole all of the archer’s fries as he seemed too busy having fun to care.
And maybe it was jealousy because everyone was having a good time and he was stuck in self-doubt, and probably was jealousy at the way Steve and Thor had their heads close and were laughing together, but Tony all of a sudden felt the need to play the last round ever of Shock the Nonagenarian.
“Thor, what are Asgard’s view on sexualities?” he asked, nonchalantly.
Now, he didn’t think Steve would be shocked by the existence of other sexualities. If Tony (and everybody else) was right, he wasn’t straight himself. But still, he figured, he might be shocked at the way people thought about those things today.
Who was he kidding, he really just kinda wanted to check where Steve stood in the issue and maybe make him blush a little.
“What do you mean, friend Tony?” said loudly the asgardian, “the Asgardians enjoy sexual activities very well!” he flashed a smile, not one ounce self conscious. Steve was already blushing a little but maybe the worst side effect of hanging out with Tony so much was that sex didn’t really affect him anymore. Sad.
“Like, take Steve here,” ok that war bordering being mean, “if he had a desires to… how you say… enjoy a sexual activity with you, another man, would that be okay in Asgard?”
And now Steve was completely red. But like angry red, so maybe just maybe he was crossing some lines. Natasha and Clint looked like they were about to kill him and even Bruce was back to earth to stare at him with a raised eyebrow. Oops.
“Well,” Thor at least was smiling, “what would be wrong with that? A fine warrior like our Steven would have his pick on any Asgardian he would like. If not for my love of my dear Jane,” he followed, looking at Steve with a bright smile, “I would have fallen into bed with the dear Captain long ago - of course, if that had been you wish friend Steve.”
By this point, Steve was hot red, but after a deep breath he was able to respond.
“Well Thor, that’s awfully good to know,” he said in the same tone he used for he adorable ‘aw shucks’ Tony was so fond off, “if you and Jane are ever in need of a third bed warmer, let me know,” he smiled charmingly, blush abating quickly.
Tony choked loudly on his food, and he was not the only one, judging by Clint’s purple face and Natasha giving friendly slaps on his back.
“Well, well, winghead, never pegged you as playing for the other team - “
“I’m bisexual Tony,” Steve interrupted before he could shove his foot even deeper in his mouth, “you do realise gay people were not invented in this century right?”
Ok, had Steve just honest to God come out in front of the whole team? Also, oh dear, what was Tony even doing he felt like he had lost control of this little game completely by now.
“And honestly, I didn’t think you of all people would make a joke out of this,” he said, before storming off, all well deserved fury trailing after him.
The silence he left in his wake only lasted for a second.
“Stark, if you don’t go apologise right now I swear to god you’ll regret it,” Natasha said pointing her finger at the door.
Tony did the only smart thing he had done all evening - he obeyed her hastily.
Steve was, of course, at the gym, going at it with a poor punching bag that, Tony would bet, wouldn’t have survived the next five minutes if not for his intervention.
“I keep reinforcing the bags and still you always manage to surprise me,” he complained from the door. Steve didn’t even acknowledge him.
“Steve,” he said in a low voice, coming closer to the other man, “Steve, I’m sorry.”
The super soldier topped punching the bag panting a bit, but still didn’t turn.
“I kept pushing and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that to Thor, I - “
Steve turned to him suddenly, a disappointed look in his face.
“You think I’m mad because of what you said to Thor?” he asked, sounding resigned.
“Hm… yes?”
Steve shook his head slowly. He sighed deeply, a hand running through his hair.
“Tony, look… I’m mad at you but I’m mostly mad at myself,” he looked like what he was saying was causing extreme pain, and Tony just wanted to throw himself at him and say they didn’t need to talk anymore, but that would be the icing in the cake of this complicated mess so he restrained himself.
“I owe you an apology,” Steve said finally.
“No, you don’t, I’m the one -”
“Please, let me finish,” he interrupted, “Tony, I thought what we were doing was pretty obvious so I never said anything, but now I realise I misinterpreted the situation entirely, and I’m sorry. I have a thing for you, ok? And I thought we were going out but after what you said to Thor I kinda figured we were not in the same page and -”
He was starting to babble so Tony did the only thing he could do, really. He kissed Steve.
And it was magical.
Except, Steve totally pulled away in indignation.
“I don’t need you pity Tony I -”
“No, Steve, no” Tony started hurriedly, “it’s not pity, look I’m the one who has to apologise, okay? When I noticed we were actually basically dating, I panicked! That’s I have been so distant lately, I was dealing with some shit and I’m so sorry I didn’t talk to you about it. And I’m sorry for being a jackass with the Thor thingie! I was jealous and just wanted to push your buttons and see you snap and that was really rotten of me. And I really shouldn’t have said anything about your sexuality. So, I’m really sorry and that’s not something I say a lot but I am.”
“I… see,” Steve concluded, “Tony, what is it you want from me exactly?” he asked, tiredly.
“I would like to be your boyfriend, as juvenile as that word makes me feel, please, if you’ll have me.”
“That would mean that when you’re having insecurities and self-doubt, you talk to me first before pulling away and making a disappearing act. Is that okay? Because Tony, I adore you. I wanna be your stupid boyfriend, and kiss your face and do stuff together, sure, but mostly I just want us to be close and honest with each other. If us dating gets in the way of that…”
“It won’t,” Tony said, with the certainty he had only just begin to feel, “Steve, we are not perfect, and sometimes we’ll mess up, and that’s ok. But I know us, and I know me, and babe, I’ll be a hundred percent. It won’t stop us being friend it will just… add to it. You’ll have to deal with my shit and I’ll have to deal with yours and that’s ok, cause I think we can do this.”
“Yeah?” Steve asked in a small voice, a small smile on his face that was slowly moving towards Tony’s own.
“Yeah,” Tony answered, closing the gaps between their mouths again. But this time, for much, much longer.
(as in, they totally ended up in bed together, shhh)