Chapter Text
Yuto did not leave Japan, trek his emo edgelord self an entire ocean to this land of beautiful southeast Asian people to be stuck between a fighting couple.
In hindsight maybe that baseball scholarship back in Japan would've sufficed. But Yuto is ambitious and he's also a rebel (his mother gives him hell every other day that he calls her - he might have made regrettable decisions all his life but he's not suicidal; not calling your mother means you're a dead son. Written off the family tapestry dead, you're locked out of your own home dead, what son we only have a daughter dead.) He should've known the entertainer's life was not for him who can't even say something in front of a classroom. But Yuto is equal parts stubborn and equal parts stupid teenage rebellion, so he's in Seoul, at 19 years old bordering on 20, regretting his teenage decisions.
The girlfriend looks ready to claw the guy's eyes out. Yuto moves back as she lunges and the guy runs to hide behind him. He knows too well that in this kind of situation the outcome can be two ways - either the girlfriend will kill him too or he can run now and regret later. He shifts and the girlfriend turns to him, seething.
"You cheating asshole!" She shrieks, bag coming down to beat Yuto on the arm. He retracts his arm and jerks back, pulling his jumper away from the boyfriend's death grip. A supersonic screech emits from the girl's mouth as the bag comes slamming onto the guy and Yuto books it out of that scene, fast.
Yan An finds it absolutely hilarious when Yuto recounts his near-death experience. Yuto's friends are traitors, snitches from the very cracks of morality - they mock him endlessly and stab him in the back in broad daylight. His suffering is their nutrition. They feast on his tears.
"Stop being dramatic, you big baby. Honestly," Yan An throws a sock at him. Yuto moves to one side and continues bemoaning. "You're 184 cm of baseball training and emo eyeliner, I don't know why you're so scared of confrontation."
"My life motto is to run when faced with confrontation," he retorts back. "Which is why I can't continue sports any longer because the other guy may be shorter but his glare is nastier than my resting bitch face."
"I feel so sorry for the people who think you are all badass and tough. You're the biggest whimp I have the misfortune of knowing," Yan An scoffs and folds the sleeves of another shirt in.
Yuto is petty so he leans down to nudge the neat pile of shirts Yan An stacked up. He didn't anticipate the fact that Yan An can throw really violent tackles and is in a dangerous state of mind. The wrist grab and insanely blurry lunge from Yan An from the bed have to have ties with anger with the world because one moment he's standing, next minute he has a crazy Chinese giant sitting on him, hissing curses. His back doesn't even have time to register hurt - his whole body is in shock from the sheer speed.
"Don't ruin my laundry. Mess up your own," the boy glares at him, hands pinning his wrists to the floor. Their faces are close. Too close. Yan An's hair is falling onto his face. Yuto spits out black hair and tries to headbutt his friend. He flails and flaps around on the floor. Yan An continues to sit leisurely on him, face a sadistic glint. Yuto flops.The Japanese sends a brief prayer to the gods - Yan An doesn't let go until someone physically pull him away. He's doomed. He momentarily wonders if someone will walk in and assume something is happening.
"Wait wait wait what is this what is this! Yanan-ah what are you even doing?!"
Or worse, Lee Hwitaek.
Yan An keeps his forehead attached to Yuto's, teeth showing. Yuto is more parts regret and less parts common sense, so he hisses and pushes back, rolling the Chinese boy away. They roll twice on the floor, palms pushing and Hwitaek is somewhere above them, screaming at them to stop.
"YAH!"
Yan An falls backwards and Yuto skids back on his ass. They scramble to look at the crossed arms of the person in the doorway. Jo Jinho is 164 cm of softness and fluffy clouds on a regular basis (which Hongseok coddles) and is a terrifying being when there are people fighting, his height is ridiculed or someone ate all the food. He can see doom in those eyes.
"We can explain," Yan An begins.
"You are not supposed to be in here," Jinho stabs a finger at Yuto. The flinch he lets out isn't voluntary. "Explain that."
Yuto may be a coward in a lot of circumstances despite his 6 foot height and all black attire and Yan An is an asshole, an attractive one, but an asshole regardless, but he has like 3 friends in total in Korea and despite Yan An almost breaking him he still wants to keep the Chinese alive.
Yuto can feel the common sense part in his brain slips further away from him. He can't blame it.
"I asked to change. I didn't like my roommate much and Changgu-ssi is away so I didn't think that it would make that much impact."
Jinho and everybody there know that Yuto is lying. Badly. Jung Wooseok is Yuto's supposed brother from another marriage that his father had, they both got separated since birth and because they're brothers they know that they'll find each other in Seoul. Half of the time they call each other the Adachi-Jung brothers. Adachi Yuto doesn't dislike Jung Wooseok - that sentence belongs to the category of 'America has female presidents', 'Australia accepts all refugees', 'Kpop idols are praised for having natural skin.'
Jinho's face tells Yuto his lies are bullshit and there better be a rational explanation in the next 3 seconds. Yan An steps in.
"I can't...I can't stand Yeo Changgu. I applied for a roommate change last week and Yuto-ah said he'd be happy to change."
"Yuto said he'd be happy to change?" Hwitaek gapes, thick eyebrows scanning between him and Yan An.
"I mean he has a mouth he's more than welcome to use it," Yan An mows on like a power engine. Hwitaek stutters and loses his momentum, but Jinho, who is sharper than all of them combined, swoops in because he gave too many chances open and none of them took it. Yuto shares a look with Yan An. Maybe they can split the rent and sleep on the bank of the Han river. If Yuto is careful he can save enough money for a one-way flight back to Japan. It's close enough - it shouldn't take that long to save. He'll bring Yan An along. They can both escape this demon land where Koreans are cruel creatures who scream a lot and inflict bodily injuries.
"Did something happen with Changgu?"
Yuto can't hide his surprise. Jinho stares severely down at him and he snaps his head back, eyes to the floor. Yan An hasn't said anything.
"Will Yuto moving here solve anything?" Yan An doesn't move. "Yananie I need you to answer so we can make arrangements." Hwitaek has already left - to get someone or something; he's not too sure. He's more concerned about the way Yan An's shoulders are shaking subtly. Jinho follows his gaze and sees it as well, mouth a soft 'ah'. Yan An pushes past them to walk outside, fists close to his side.
"Can I talk to him?" Yuto puts up a timid hand. "I don't know myself what happened, but I figure he'll tell me, probably, about what happened," he stares, "I think."
"Yuto-ah that's the least reassuring thing you ever told me, after I don't like Wooseok," the older man rubs his face, eyes pinched shut. Yuto doesn't know if that means he's frustrated with the situation or at his inability to tell lies. He bows quickly to Jinho and follows Yan An, hearing the quiet sobs in front of him. A door shutting tells him Jinho also left.
Yuto is bad with sobs. He can't do sobs. Sobs are another form of confrontation and his life quotes consist of 'Never tell lies', 'Avoid scary and beautiful people', 'Maintain consistent emo edgelord aesthetics', 'Run in the face of confrontation' and 'Help a crying person but know that you will make it worse.' Yuto will make it worse. He can feel it in his black soulless emo self.
He reaches a hand to Yan An whose back is turned to him. Claps on the boy on the shoulder tentatively like he'll break. He seems like he'll break. "Hey Yananie."
"Stop bothering me," the boy slurs back, "you're so annoying go away."
Yuto knows when foreigners forget to speak in Korean there are two reasons: 1. they forgot the word for it in Korean and 2. they're under so much emotional distress that they cannot verbalise it in the language that they need to speak in. As someone who frequents the first reason for all of his time in Korea, Yuto finds reasons to panic as the second reason is the worst possible circumstance because in theory it happens, but in application very few have witnessed it.
"Yan An." The sobbing ceases and a teary-eyed (still pretty-looking) face turns to glare at him, but Yan An lost all badassery the minute he starts crying. "I'm going to give you a hug."
Yuto can see the fight leaving his friend and he hugs the taller boy, head in the junction where head meets neck. He grips Yan An with all the strength baseball had given him in his arms and feels the sobs through him rather than hear them. Ugly sniffing sounds and painful punching at his back and arm but Yuto holds on, knowing they're both tsundere bastards who refuse affection but need it desperately.
Yuto got this. As long as he keeps his mouth shut.
"You look ugly when you cry," he says.
Never mind then.
Yan An, instead of crying even more, pauses and starts coughing into his neck. Yuto tries to take the brunt of it, leaning to one side to accommodate the 3cm difference in their height which the Chinese lords over him every other day. "I told you I'm shit confrontation. This is precisely why I run."
"I don't- I don't look ugly at any - time," Yan An hiccups and oh. He's laughing. The asshole is laughing.
"You look ugly all the time you jerkface quit being so full of yourself," he loosens his grip and Yan An disentangles from him, eyes puffy but there are no more running tear tracks. Yuto awkwardly holds his friend's hands, playing with Yan An's fingers.
"How did you find out you're gay?"
Yuto drops the hands faster than he ever dropped anything in his life. Running contenders include school grades, dignity, sports and responsibility. It's very high up.
"Why?" Yan An shrugs. Yuto takes a moment to digest the clues he's been given.
Wait.
He got it.
Probably.
"I was never into girls. I used to run whenever people approach me and at some point my mother gave up asking me about a girlfriend because she knows it'll never happen. Have you seen me run? I put Usain Bolt to shame. I think it was around middle school or something? I was playing baseball and it was really hot and this one guy, Yamamoto, took off his shirt and I was like. Yep. There goes being straight. I am changed. Told my family first thing I went back. My dad didn't take it that well but everyone else was fairly tolerant with it," he finds his friend's hands again and starts playing with them. "Did your parents not take it that well?"
"They know since forever, don't worry," Yan An waves a hand. "Changgu found out."
He squints because he doesn't understand. The words have a meaning and Yuto gets the meaning, but he's lost for context. Yan An doesn't look like he'll share that information any time soon.
"Okay and what happened?"
"Why do you think I'm packing my shirts into a suitcase?"
There is no oh moment in Yuto's mind, only a silence. He kinda gets the situation now, knowing that Yan An will never share the specifics of what exactly went down. Changgu probably threw a hissy fit at Yan An's reveal and said some harmful things. His friend is very resistant to many things - he's probably the most enduring person after Jo Jinho-hyung. Yan An puts up with Yuto and Wooseok for a whole year and that takes a lot out of a person. Even Hwitaek collapses from sheer stress at some point. Yan An and Jinho don't falter. They just sort of did damage and crowd control and took care of it. Seeing Yan An quitting and literally packing his things stir a discomfort in Yuto's dark emo soul. He's twitching, mouth opening to say something.
"Is that all? The reason you want to move away completely from him?"
Yan An knows Yuto knows. Yuto knows Yan An knows he knows, but he doesn't say anything, waiting for his friend to initiate things first. He'll only fuck it up if he says things now.
"No," the boy sighs. "No that's only part of it."
Yuto's twitching only increases when Yan An looks him directly in the eye, voice no longer trembling.
"I told him I liked him, and he basically told me to fuck off from his sight."