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Language:
English
Series:
Part 2 of Wisteria
Stats:
Published:
2014-01-09
Completed:
2014-03-13
Words:
94,315
Chapters:
14/14
Comments:
608
Kudos:
3,565
Bookmarks:
723
Hits:
88,366

Forget Me Not

Summary:

Modern AU, the prequel to Wisteria.

From his first day of college, Jean Kirschtein is determined to be different: the guy he always wanted to be. The student who gets good grades without trying, the painter whose art blows everyone away, the cool kid, the guy who gets all the girls. He's tired of being the youngest brother in a privileged, impressive family -- the kid with no reason to be angry all the time and no plans for his life other than to paint. He's tired of being afraid of everyone, wondering if they can tell what he's hiding.

Art college is his dream. This is his year. School, art, girls, freedom, independence, hell yeah. And then he meets his new roommate. Marco Bodt sweeps him off his feet -- or more specifically, knocks him on his ass.

Forget Me Not is a collection of memories. It's the struggle of a boy who falls in love with someone who accepts him for who he is, when no one ever taught him how to accept himself. It's the story of choosing duty over love; family over his own failures; what he thinks is right over what he knows he wants. Told by the man who knows how the story ends, but has to make sure you know how it began.

Notes:

"But if you close your eyes, / does it almost feel like nothing's changed at all? / And if you close your eyes, / does it almost feel like you've been here before? / How am I gonna be an optimist about this?"

- Bastille, "Pompeii"

Chapter 1: Pompeii

Chapter Text

Prologue

Six Years After

I started measuring my life by one moment. There’s before it and there’s after it.

It’s not really logical to base it all on this one point in time, it’s not like in that moment my epiphany suddenly came down from the sky with wings and a puff of fucking smoke. It took a long time for me to see how stupid I was. It took even longer to figure out how to change. But hey, I’m not the most logical guy.

I think about it a lot. I have to. I have to understand the pain, live with the regret, deal with the fear. It makes me strong. It makes me grateful. So I put all the little moments in order, counting everything that matters, the good and the bad, when I was a coward and when I was the man he always thought that I could be.

The “before” and “after” helps. It’s like one of those weight loss commercials, you know what I mean? You need to see the mess you were before you can feel how amazing right now is.

There are better moments I could pick for this. My wedding day, or the day I was shot. Our first anniversary. The day my daughter was born. The day I woke up and I wasn’t afraid. But no one ever really stops being afraid, and these points in my life... they are miraculous and incredible “afters.”

The one I chose isn’t the beginning or the end.

I’m a fucking idiot sometimes. And I’m stubborn, and I’m grumpy, and I’m risky, and I think too much, and I'm brutally honest, and when I’m nervous I overcompensate and call him “sweetheart” eight million times, and I make decisions with body parts that aren’t my brain. Believe me, I know. I just have to go through some really tough shit before I can ever understand what’s important to me. But now I understand.

I was afraid for so long. It’s important to know why. It’s important because it made me the man I am today. He made me the man I am today.

Give me time. I’ll get there. I’ll figure it out.

My name is Jean Kirschtein, by the way.