Work Text:
what's in a name
[2013.11.08]
The clocked ticked and began to chime the late hour on the wall. Momoi sighed, clipboard falling to the side as she stretched backwards onto the mountain of pillows propping up her back. Absently she patted the bulge, ignoring the papers and books that scattered when she moved her arms. Up and down she stroked, and then she paused. The baby had kicked against her hand.
The lamp swung a little, illuminating the slumped figure sitting on the other side of the table, mouth half open as he breathed smoothly in sleep. She noted with some amusement that his last line of notes had trailed into a long, black, incomprehensible scribble-line. Seeing the pile of books next to him, she nodded briefly to herself; she still had it - that ability to terrify men into doing her bidding. Or in this specific case, study despite their hate of studying.
On the sofa another figure uncurled elegantly, toes brushing the carpet as he sat up. Akashi's hair was a few shades lighter than Kagami's, a color that now looked as dark as Murasakibara's in the twilight. He blinked before his eyes settled on his lover, then on her. "Do you need help getting to your room?" he asked courteously.
"Why do you come here all the time?" she asked bluntly. "You can't actually think that he would leave you for me."
His eyes flickered away. "He had a dream once."
"He also thought Tetsu-kun was the one, and look where that got all of us."
"In a better place," Akashi insisted.
"It's not like you to be so optimistic," she scolded, but she was smiling. "That's usually someone else's job."
Her fingers reached for her mug, but it was empty. She debated getting up for more, or sending Akashi to the kitchen. She debated moving the whole conversation to the kitchen so Kagami wouldn't wake up and she wouldn't laugh so hard when she saw the penmarks on his cheek. She knew she wasn't fooling anybody when she laughed at that; in another time, another place, that was her Dai-chan, mumbling about "noisy Satsuki" this and "It ain't that funny" that. It would be a dark blue head across the table.
She couldn't resist; she reached out and tugged a strand of Kagami's red hair. It was coarser than Aomine's. She could feel Akashi's gaze still on her, weighing her every move. "You shouldn't worry," she said at last. "There's no space in my heart for him." Not like that, anyway.
She didn't dare meet his eyes, just settled back, patting her runaway husband's legacy. The baby moved again.
In the end it was a shadow, padding out of the bedroom corridor, that roused them both. Takao held up a ubiquitous white bottle, head tilted to the side with an inviting half-smile. Both he and Akashi lifted Momoi on both sides so she could waddle to the table, shutting off the living room light as she went.
"I think you've finally gotten farther than Nijimura-sempai and Murasakibara-kun," Momoi said as she sipped tea. There was a splash of something in there that warmed her - bad for the baby, but it was only a mouthful anyway. The next mug didn't have any alcohol in it.
"How gratifying to know you've crunched the numbers on the depth of my romantic liaisons. You're missing a good portion of six years, however."
"You weren't involved with anyone in college, I checked."
"I didn't bring you guys to the table to take potshots at each other," Takao butted in wryly.
"You shouldn't have brought the child of a yakuza boss to the table anyway. They'll drink you under it." The salute Akashi made with his cup was sardonic, but there was a subdued gentility in his face that belied his words. Takao, thankfully sensitive due to prolonged exposure to Midorima's stony faces, took no offense. Instead he grinned.
"We could invite your two housemates. I'm sure the bartender can take a few rounds."
"Drinks? Certainly. Boxing? Perhaps not. And if you want firearms, I know a man for that." He knocked back his cup and poured another. "But if you're talking about the bedroom, then let us mutually file that under 'overenthusiastic'."
"Men," Momoi snorted derisively. "All you ever think is drinking, violence, and sex."
"I think about Tetsuya-waka-poo," Takao offered teasingly.
"That is a ridiculous nickname. Little Tetsuya sounds like a dog."
"He likes it, like when people make funny faces at him."
"In three short years he'll grow out of you and hate his Uncle Kazunari forever for calling him that in public."
"Hey, that's what crazy uncles are for - embarrassing their relations." Takao gave Akashi a considering look. "And I do believe that's the first time you've called me by my name."
"Something wrong with that?"
"No, it just sounds all dignified when you say it."
"Names are important," Akashi said softly. "I believe it when they say names have power. Respect should be paid to names."
"So I should start calling saying 'Exalted Highness Tetsu-waka-poo'?"
"Surely the prefix and suffix in that example cancel each other out."
Takao pouted. "Stick-in-the-mud Aka-chin."
"Don't copy other people's patterns of speech, it lacks creativity."
"Not going to deny the stuffy part, huh?"
"A man is only as good as he knows himself. And the people around him." Momoi was glad she hadn't said something about maligning her firstborn boy's name, she might have missed the look Akashi made now: a throwback to the old days, when Akashi looked too old for his age with his lips turned down and his eyes faraway.
"I think we've all seen too much of life not to know you're one of the lucky ones, Kazunari," Akashi was saying. In response Takao topped him off and - because Takao loved to push the boundaries - leaned forward to pat Akashi's cheek fondly. The redhead bore the abuse with only one slow blink in response.
A scrape against the tile made them turn. "Luck is what you make it." Kagami's voice was rough from sleep. He raised one big hand and laid it protectively on the back of Akashi's chair. Someone would have to be blind to miss how he and Akashi leaned towards each other, Momoi thought. She waited for them to touch, but apparently the first time with Akashi sitting in Kagami's lap was the extent of PDA Akashi allowed, because there was a very carefully kept five centimeters between them when Kagami sat down in the next chair over, finger crooked in a "hit me" gesture.
Takao poured another cup and handed it over. "Respect is all fine and dandy, but I'm not one to give it where it isn't due. I like feelings deeper than that, no matter how they hurt. I like being reminded I'm human...Sei."
Time froze at the table for a very long minute. Then finally, crackling with brittle awkwardness, Akashi said, "You forget your place, Taiga."
"And you forget yours."
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Akashi was shuttered, closed, neutral except for the thrum of something volatile and lava-like, heaving barely under the surface.
"I'm talking about who you are now, living out of someone else's house, puttering around my brother's bar every night. The space you take right next to me. Let's face it - you left the old you behind. You're in a better place now." Stupid, clever Kagami, feigning sleep. Throwing Akashi's own words back in his face.
For a moment Momoi was sure Akashi was going to hit him. And then he sat back in his chair, relaxing inch by inch. "So this change of heart deserves a new name, is what you're suggesting."
"I've called you that in my head for a long time," Kagami admitted.
Akashi's expression was particularly sphinx-like. "I don't like peasants who take liberties that haven't been given."
"And that's why you're a hypocrite, too."
"My name is my own. I have the right to refuse you."
"Names are things other people give you, that just happen to coincide with what other-other people agree to call you."
"That implies I have a right."
"That implies people agree with what I see. That you're happy, Sei."
"Know your place," Akashi said, low and musical. Angry. Momoi thought of snakes in that moment of stillness before they struck, and wanted to warn Kagami because Kagami was clumsy and kind and played with fire so easily like he had never been burned. He was a fool, to come back for more of Akashi, whose profile was cut from marble against the dark background of the living room, lips upturned in that way that spelled death.
"You left your own home, your own roots so easily. Don't you dare think others shed their skins like that." What an appropriate comparison.
Kagami shook his head. "You're better without that empty house."
"Taiga -"
"You're better here with me. We're better." Akashi skewered him with a glare for interrupting. "Sei...just what are you afraid of? There's nobody here but me."
Actually, there were two other people, but again Momoi kept her mouth shut.
Abruptly Akashi stood. "Home. Now."
Kagami held up his cup. "Can't drive."
"I had less. And I've seen you do it enough. Now, Taiga."
It wasn't until the two of them were out the door did Takao breathe again, a whoosh of breath loud enough to fill the whole kitchen. Suddenly Momoi was aware of the clock ticking again, striking the hour; two AM, but at least she was on maternity leave and didn't have a schedule to keep.
"That was intense," Takao said. "Not like me and Shin-chan's fights at all."
Akashi-kun's got more problems, she wanted to say, but what came out was, "Take me to bed, Takao-kun."
"Oh-ho, as you wish, fair lady." He waggled his eyebrows and she let herself lean on him for just a moment, pretending. She wondered if Akashi knew he was already doing the same, leaning on Kagami, burying his head deep so the might become one.
Don't you flinch, she wanted to tell him. Don't you dare turn away from someone who loves you.
It was good, she reflected, that being cowardly was never Akashi's strong suit.
----------------
"You are infuriating," Akashi commented.
They undressed in silence. Akashi had driven slow so that the chill of autumn stung his cheeks a little, not enough to burn. Kagami had been right behind him, arms looped comfortably around his waist, helmets clacked together. His warmth and scent had an immediate reaction that Akashi didn't bother to hide, not when he had felt Kagami doing the same. Both of them had trouble walking up the stairs, and it wasn't because they had no flashlight.
"You're not killer-mad anymore," Kagami noted with some surprise.
"If I got angry at every buffoon who told me honestly what they thought of me, I would have quite the kill count. And the experience. I could make a living as an assassin then."
"You'd like sticking a man up close and personal, don't even hide it."
"I always was a great lover of the classic revenge story."
Kagami sat back on the narrow bed they shared now. "So, what'll it be?" His head cocked to the side, regarding Akashi with birdlike curiosity. "Ropes, bondage, knife play, the whole works?"
"Your brother is sleeping in the next room."
"Yeah, your caterwauling might wake him up."
"My caterwauling. If your whimpering got any louder, people might think Himuro is sheltering a particularly clingy dog."
"Dogs don't say 'harder' and 'deeper', Sei."
Akashi sighed, conceding the name. "For your cheek, you can suck me off."
"That would be my mouth and my tongue, not my cheek. And maybe my teeth."
Akashi's fingers made a firm plak! against said cheek. "You must think you're an utter fount of endless wit."
"You sure you're not mistaking me for you?" Kagami countered, before he stretched his lips open.
The first touch always made Akashi sigh, and he had hated it since the first time he realized he did so. But he couldn't help it, when Kagami looked like he did, sinking down until his nose was pressed against Akashi's pelvis. Akashi rolled his hips, and it wasn't him who groaned but Kagami, whose shoulders hunched as Akashi leaned over him. His big hands remained obediently at his sides.
He fisted Kagami's hair and began to work, bed creaking as his knees abused the springs. It, like Himuro's knickknacks, like Himuro's old clothes, like Himuro's dinky bar with its eclectic clientele, reminded Akashi that Kagami was right. That his life was not his - his life was something given to him by others.
But it was a gift, he thought. He quickened his pace and Kagami keened, the sound vibrating down his throat. Akashi forced himself not to hasten, to draw out his need, to make Kagami beg. A gift I did not anticipate. A gift given freely.
He should feel bad, using something, someone that wasn't his, but when they were like this Kagami made it so hard. Kagami had been shaped by Akashi's desires, like some perfect receptacle for his pleasure. Tetsuya will never have this, the thought morphed clearly from the haze of sake and sleepiness. I have to believe there will always be time for us.
The tide took him too fast, left him wanting for more, so he pressed Kagami to the bed and found the lube. He let Kagami feel the stretch and burn, like steel on flesh, relishing when Kagami fought back. He witnessed the tremble of Kagami's corded arms, shaking from the onslaught of overstimulation, and laughed as he knocked him back down to the pillows. Kagami didn't protest, just closed his eyes and found Akashi's hand.
They both held on as they spilled over the wave, until Akashi was falling over the curve of Kagami's back, grip white on Kagami's tanned fingers. After a moment Kagami shifted, just a slow ripple of muscle, cradling Akashi in the big C-curve of his body.
"If you hate it so much, I'll stop." His words puffed into Akashi's hair.
Akashi's drowsiness lifted long enough to stare at the blank wall. He counted three of Kagami's heartbeats, beating against the left side of his back, before his eyes fell shut again. Possible responses floated up but he uttered none of them, just let the creeping surf of sleep drag him down.
Kagami apparently understood the yawning pauses in their ongoing conversation, because he curled in tight and fast, arms clenching Akashi tight as he drifted off. The last thing he knew was the press of Kagami's smile against the back of his head and the rise of Kagami's chest as he inhaled, pressing his heart ever deeper into Akashi's skin.