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The first thing you realize is the silence. Normally you wake up all of the sudden, snapping out of your sleep from one second to another. Today is different. It’s more like you’re slowly drifting to the surface. You keep your eyes shut and listen into the quiet. Because of course it’s not totally quiet, it never is, not for you.
You can hear Isaac’s heartbeat from the other side of the hallway. It’s slow and even, he’s still sleeping. If you concentrate, you can hear him breathing in and out. The fridge is buzzing in the kitchen and outside, the cars are passing by. But that’s not what you really listen to, of course.
What you really listen to is the breathing and the heartbeat right next to you, slowly and steady in their sleepy rhythm. From time to time, there are little noises, too. He’s never completely quiet, not even in his sleep. That shouldn’t have surprised you as much as it did when you discovered it a few weeks ago.
You reach for him blindly, your hand searches for the warmth that he’s radiating off through the covers. It still surprises you how much better you feel when you can touch him. It’s not like you weren’t feeling well before, it’s just… better.
You open your eyes now. The soft light that’s flooding the bedroom tells you that it must be very early. No wonder everyone else is still asleep. You can’t help smiling when you look at him. He’s all tangled up in the covers, limbs sprawled out across the sheets, face pushed into the pillow.
It makes your heart clench to see him like that, so unguarded and innocent. You’re torn between the need to touch him and the fear of waking him up. It’s a rare opportunity that you’re the first to be awake so you’re not going to risk this. But the need to touch him wins, so you move closer very carefully. When you’re finally close enough, you press your face into his neck. You close your eyes again and breathe in deeply. His scent mixes perfectly with the warmth of his skin and the steady sound of his heartbeat.
You could stay like that forever and be content. Well, maybe not forever, but a few hours would be perfectly fine with you.
After a while, the heartbeat changes. “You know that you’re very lucky that I find your slightly strange smelling-you-is-a-sign-of-affection behavior charming instead of creepy?” His voice is still low and drowsy.
Instead of answering, you push your nose a little deeper into his neck and smile. “Ah, the ever so silent. I should have expected that.” He untangles his arms from the covers and his hands come up to slowly stroke across your back. Your smile widens and you hum contently.
You stay like that for a while.
“Hey, not that I’m not totally into this, but I can’t really feel my toes anymore because the sheets I managed to tangle myself up in again are cutting off my blood flow.” He’s starting to move beneath you, so you withdraw slowly and lie back while he frees himself from the sheets. He crawls back to you again when he’s done and lays his head on your chest.
He looks up to you and smiles. He’s beautiful. “So, Mister Stubbleface, did you sleep well?”
You have to kiss him. His lips are warm and you can feel how sleepy he still is in the way his tongue moves.
“You know that this isn’t an answer?“ he asks with a little laugh when he moves back.
“Well, then maybe you have to listen properly?” you say playfully and the sparkle in his eyes shows you that he understands you so very well. He always does.
“Yeah, now that you mention it, I think you’re right. I have to listen so much more closely.”
He leans in and he kisses you, soft and slow and warm. If only all mornings could go like that.