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Lost Girl on the Boiling Isles - Season 1 by JadesEvolution
Fandoms: The Owl House (Cartoon)
10 May 2025
Tags
Summary
Amity Blight is a human who finds herself transported to the Boiling Isles after sulking in an abandoned shack during a storm. She meets Eda the Owl Lady who helps her become comfortable in her skin and live out the magical fantasy she always wished to have while on the Boiling Isles.
Series
- Part 1 of Lost Girl on the Boiling Isles
Bookmarked by THorniestmax
21 Aug 2025
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
Cons: First, second and third chapters are very messy. Characterization is all over the place, and the trans main character feels shoe-horned in instead of natural. Storytelling is very 'tell, don't show'. Main character is supposed to be Amity Blight, but she doesn't FEEL like Amity Blight. Instead she feels like a different, inconsistent, character, who happens to have the same name. By chapter six I am a bit bored of the story. Not because it is slice of life, which I love, but because with how tell-y the narrative is I have zero immersion. Nothing grips me, nothing makes me eager to experience the next event in the story, I am just told ''THis happens'' and I acknowledge 'Yes, that happened' and move on. No emotional investment at all.
Neutral: Pacing is middling. It is neither phenomenal nor terrible. Minor accordioning.
Pros: Spelling and grammar are on point, with only a single error in the whole first decent-length chapter. Premise is not unique, but is setting up that it might be done well. Immediately upon starting fourth chapter the quality seems to have jumped up. It's still very tell-y, but much better than the previous three chapters. THis bodes well.
Notes: Getting better by chapter six, but still very tell-y. Reads a little like the script for a movie, with each sentence being a statement of action (''Eda did this. Luz went there. Amity felt that.'' ect...) At this rate of improvement, I think somewhere around chapter fifteen it will be more show than tell. I wonder if the wordsmith is new to the craft? If so, this is an incredibly impressive beginning.
Overview: I was not impressed with the first through third chapters, but the seeds of possible greatness are there. I still look forward to seeing if this story blossoms into greatness.