Chapter Text
It was a cold, rainy day.
Whenever Sunoo recalls it, that's the first detail he remembers. Frigid air, roaring thunder and the sound of heavy rain hitting the ground.
In addition to that, he'd been having, let's just say, a very hard time. Maybe it was a bad day to begin with.
He sighed, closing his locker after shoving some books in. It was the day of his last midterm exam, and he was beyond exhausted. All people see is his name at the top of the class, not what it takes to get there.
"It's a shame it had to rain today, but we can still go over to my place," said Jungwon, hiking his bag over his shoulder.
Heeseung made a noise of agreement. "Sounds good to me," he said.
Jungwon looked towards Sunoo. "What about you, Sunoo hyung? I finally got that new video game we've been wanting to try out."
Sunoo shook his head, trudging down the hallway, each step proving to be harder than the last for some reason. "Can't. We're having a dinner party tonight. Mom won't let me," he said, rubbing his fist over his eyes. "Plus, I have cram school in like- forty minutes."
"But the exams just ended. You can skip today," said Heeseung.
"I skipped twice last month. The teachers aren't too happy with me," he said, stifling the bubbling anger in his chest and instead tightening his grip on the strap of his bag. "I just need to get through this week," he added, mostly to himself.
"Ah, that's too bad. Some other time then," Jungwon said, sending a smile his way.
Sunoo returned it, but not nearly as brightly. In all honesty, he would have denied the invitation either way. All he wanted was to be alone, and maybe sleep for 48 hours straight.
He saw off his friends at the school gates, the two boys rushing over to the bus to avoid the downpour.
Sunoo stood under the shade, waiting for his personal driver to pick him up. He didn't know why he's late, usually he'd be here at least twenty minutes earlier. He'll definitely be getting an earful from him when he gets here, thought Sunoo.
He's already had a shitty day, hell, a shitty few weeks to be exact and now he had to wait in the cold for someone that works for him.
"Sunoo hyung, hey."
Sunoo turned his head to see Ni-ki standing next to him, and this time, he didn't have to try so hard for a smile to bloom on his face. "Oh, hi, Ni-ki. Didn't see you at lunch today," he said, standing up straight. In an instant, he felt some of the exhaustion leaving him.
"Oh, yeah," Ni-ki said with a little laugh, running a hand through his damp brown hair. "I was at the gym practicing," he said, the basketball tucked under his arm proving his statement.
Sunoo nodded in understanding. "Has it been going well?," he asked out of genuine interest. "You were great last time," he added.
Ni-ki smiled. "Thank you. And yes, the team's been working extra hard this time around. Just to fill in the areas we're lacking in."
"You always play well, Ni-ki. I know you'll win this time around too," Sunoo said with a grin. "I'll be cheering you on."
The blushed that colored Ni-ki's cheeks made his smile widen. "You've been working hard as well, hyung. Did your exam go well?"
"Meh, it could've gone better," he said with a shrug.
"No way. You always ace every subject. It won't be any different this time either," said Ni-ki. "Cheer up," he added, bumping his shoulder against Sunoo's lightly.
Sunoo let himself huff out a little laugh. "I'll try."
Ni-ki huffed. "You look tired. Have you been taking care of yourself?," he asked, hints of worry swimming in his eyes.
"I'll be fine," Sunoo said, waving off his concerns. "I just..need to get through this week," he said again, wincing slightly.
Ni-ki took a step forward, reaching forward to unwrap Sunoo's hand from around the strap of his bag. He sighed, seeing the red indents etched into his skin. "You better be taking it easy now that exams are over," he said with a frown, thumb rubbing softly over his palm. "Don't be so hard on yourself."
Sunoo managed another smile, his heart fluttering despite himself. "Don't worry about me," he said. "I'm okay, really."
"I can't help it," Ni-ki said. "Seeing you all anxious and down makes me feel sad."
"I'm alright. I can handle it," Sunoo said.
"Alright isn't good enough. I want to see you happy again."
Somehow, he failed to notice the distance between them closing slowly. And before he knew it, Ni-ki was barely a few inches away from him.
"I was supposed to practice some more with the team, but," Ni-ki began, pausing to look up at the gray sky. "I think I can skip today. Do you wanna head over to my place together?," he asked, an expectant smile on his lips, eyes boring into his.
Sunoo looked the same on the outside, but deep down inside, he'd been squealing from happiness, heart thumping frantically against his chest. Finally, after dancing around each other for so long, one of them made a move. His fingers entangled with Ni-ki's, a small smile stretching across his lips. Finally.
Sunoo hummed, tilting his head a bit, his nose brushed against Ni-ki's as he nodded. This is it.
"Ye-"
The loud sound of a car honking made them jump away from each other. Sunoo's eyes widened when he saw a familiar car parked across the street.
And just like that, the little fleeting illusion of choice he let himself fall into shattered into a hundred pieces. "No. I-I can't, I'm sorry," he stuttered out.
"Oh," voiced Ni-ki after a tense beat of silence. "It's alright," he added, dejection coloring his tone. He rubbed a hand against his nape, taking a step back. "I'll see you around then, I guess."
Before Sunoo could stop him and explain himself, Ni-ki jogged away to join his team mates waiting for him without looking back. Sunoo pressed his lips together, crossing the street to walk over to the car.
Feeling angry tears pricking his eyes, he got in, slamming the door shut with way more force than necessary. The driver mumbled some apology, something along the lines of a traffic jam, but it all fell deaf on Sunoo's ears.
It's unfair, it's so fucking unfair. Something he'd been hoping for and dreaming about for so long presented itself to him in such a picture perfect way, and he had to ruin it with his own two hands.
Ni-ki understands him, he worries about him, he cares about him, he likes him. And Sunoo has never liked someone back this much. There's no one else in this goddamn world that means as much as he does to him. How will he ever face him now?
Ni-ki probably thinks he flat out rejected him, he'll probably never ask again. Sunoo knows that. And if he tries to make a move, he'll look like he's leading him on.
So is this how it ends? A chance at pure happiness, pure love, gone in seconds before he even had the chance to embrace it.
He bit down on his quivering lower lip, hands balled into tight fists, his nails digging into his palm. The anger bubbling in him almost reached the surface.
"Stop the car. I'm getting off," he choked out.
"But I have to get you to-"
"I said stop!," he yelled. "I'll deal with my parents myself. So you better stop this damn car before I do something to make you say goodbye to this job."
Reluctantly, he pulled over. Sunoo got out, shutting the door behind him. Ice cold rain hit him as he began walking ahead, hearing the car drive off. He shoved his hands into his pockets. He's wasn't that far away from school, but his house is at least half an hour away.
He decided he'll come up with something to tell his parents, but for now he didn't plan on going home anytime soon.
He knows he's not the best person around. Not by a long shot. He lies, he cheats, he pretends. He's well aware of just how deceptive he can be sometimes. But does that mean he doesn't deserve even a fraction of something good?
He has zero control over his life. Nothing goes his way. All he does is work hard to maintain his grades, reputation and social life. Coming from a well-known chaebol family, he has his future set for him by his parents. All he needs to do is stay on track.
But he just can't.
Something deep down is spiralling out of control. That something makes his head pound, his heart race for no apparent reason, his fingers tremble and his muscle tense so much they ache almost all the time. It's so, so hard to put on a happy face and pretend he's not losing himself even further every single day. Something is clearly wrong with him, but even his parents fail to see it.
And he's had enough now. He can't go on like this any longer.
Lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear the frantic noise of puddles of water splashing until someone bumped into him harshly, sending him falling to the ground.
Sunoo cried out, feeling his hands and knees scrape against the rough pavement. "Hey!," he yelled, seeing the person run ahead without even acknowledging him.
Just as the person ran into a nearby alleyway, Sunoo caught sight of a uniform like his own. He stood up. Three other people dashed after him into the alleyway, looking kind of angry.
Confused yet curious, Sunoo followed after them. Up in the sky, thunder cracked loudly, making him wince. As he got closer to the alleyway, he heard voices grumbling. A thump resounded, followed by a low, pained groan.
Slowly, Sunoo leaned forward to see. His eyes widened at the scene that greeted him.
The three men stood over his classmate, having him cornered against the wall. One of them snatched his bag, unzipping it to pull out several small bottles and some other stuff he didn't get to identify. But what he could recognize was the boy they were after.
Park Sunghoon.
Sunoo didn't know much about him then, 'cause quite frankly, Park Sunghoon is a nobody. He never talks to anyone, nor does he have any friends. He's a loner through and through. People like Sunoo and Sunghoon have nothing to do with each other. Sunoo can admit he has quite a nice face, but that's about it.
One of the three men raised his hand to shove Sunghoon's shoulder roughly. "Where's the rest of it?," he roared.
When Sunghoon remained silent, his fist knocked against his face. Sunoo grimaced, seeing him get shoved to the ground as the three men took a good minute roughing him up quite thoroughly.
A kick to his guts made Sunghoon groan, finally relenting. "That's all I have, I swear," he wheezed with a wince.
"Don't lie. We saw you heading back from Jay's yesterday night."
Sunghoon nodded. "I-I did, but I sold it all after that. This is all I have left," he said.
"You've got to be kidding me," one of them said. He reached down and grabbed him by the hair. Sunghoon made a pained sound as his fist collided with his jaw again.
Sunoo's own hands balled up and before he knew what he was doing, he stepped into the alley. "Let go of him," he said, stepping closer.
Four pairs of eyes fell into him at once. Sunghoon looked quite alarmed, yet maybe a little relieved. That detail is something Sunoo thinks about to this day.
The man let Sunghoon go, but stepped forward until he was in front of Sunoo. "And who might this be? Are you his little boyfriend or something?," he asked, making his little posse laugh in amusement.
"And if I am?," retorted Sunoo, facing him head on, his arms crossed across his chest.
He scoffed. "What a joke," he huffed out. He titled his head towards the other two men. "Get him."
Just as they stepped towards him, Sunoo raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, go ahead. Beat up Kim Yongdae's son and see where that lands you," he said, pulling out his phone, opening up his dad's contact.
That made all three of them pause. The man in front of him laughed nervously. "We-We're just messing around, kid." He reached forward to lower Sunoo's phone. "He's the one who's been causing your father's city's so much trouble," he hurried to explain, pointing towards Sunghoon.
"Huh? What do you mean?," Sunoo asked, intrigued.
"He's a part of the group that's been running drugs in this area."
That explained the little bottles and ziplock bags Sunoo saw on the ground. He nodded slowly. "I see," he said, catching the diffident glance Sunghoon sent his way.
"Let us take care of him for you," the man proposed, his friends mumbling agreements.
Sunoo would have agreed and went on his merry way. But the way Sunghoon tensed up, the plead in his eyes when he looked at him again, it didn't allow him to do so.
"No need. I'll take it from here," he said with a smile.
His face fell and he shook his head. "No, no, let us-"
"Get the fuck out of here before I press this for real," he gritted out, finger hovering over the call icon. Immediately, he nodded and ran away without another word, the other two following after him. Sunoo rolled his eyes. "Idiots."
He turned to see Sunghoon get up, slowly staggering around to gather the stuff on the ground. "Th-Thank you. Thank you so much," he stuttered out.
Sunoo bent down to pick up a bottle near his feet just as Sunghoon reached forward for it. He turned it over to read the label. He narrowed his eyes.
Mood stabilizers?
He looked at Sunghoon who was still crouched down at his feet, then he looked back at the bottle. He thinks a light bulb lit up over his head then.
Sunoo smiled down at him. "The loner Park Sunghoon is a drug runner?," he asked rhetorically, then huffed out a laugh. "You're really something else, aren't you? Who would've thought?," he added, fiddling with the bottle in his hand.
Sunghoon clenched his jaw. "I..," he trailed off, directing his gaze elsewhere.
"You?," Sunoo urged. When Sunghoon didn't say anything, Sunoo made a show of looking at his phone again. "You've been causing my dad a lot of trouble, Sunghoon-ssi. And you see, I'm a very faithful son," he said, ready to press down on the call icon.
Instantly, Sunghoon reached up to curl his hands around Sunoo's arm. "No, please don't," he said, eyes wide.
Sunoo frowned, trying to pull away. "What's wrong with you? Are you trying to make this worse?"
He tightened his grip on him, making Sunoo emit a surprised sound. "No, I beg you. Don't do this, please-"
"What are you doing, dude? Let go," Sunoo said, annoyed yet a tad freaked out at his outburst.
"I-I'm just trying my best to make a living. This is my only source. I can't go to jail," he rambled, shaking his head. He let go of Sunoo's arm, backing up to sit up on his knees. "Please don't report me. I'll do anything," he said, looking up at Sunoo earnestly. "Please."
Sunoo look at him silently for a while, really taking in and processing the sight. Such a handsome guy on his knees in front of him, begging so nicely? How could he say no?
"Fine," he said with a shrug, locking his phone.
Sunghoon sighed in relief. He stood up, hiking his bag up his shoulder. "Thank y-"
"Not so fast," Sunoo interrupted, stepping in his way, a hand on his chest. He raised the bottle. "Do these work?," he asked.
Sunghoon nodded. "They're basically benzos, strong ones, high in demand. And they cost a pretty penny. That's why those guys beat the fuck out of me for 'em. They didn't have enough cash, and I don't even get half for just running it."
"Cash, huh? Well, I got lots of that," Sunoo said with a smile.
Sunghoon frowned, regarding him warily. "You want to.."
"Yes," he answered. "Let's make a deal, hm? You get me more of these, and in return I'll pay you twice as much," he said.
Sunghoon sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Do you know what these do to you? They make you crave more like crazy. You wanna become a damn junkie at 19?"
"You don't need to worry about me," Sunoo said. He took a step forward, looking up at him. "And you don't really have much of a choice, do you? Might I remind you just what I was going to do? One phone call and it's over for you."
Sunghoon glanced back at him, pacing around for a moment. Sunoo waited patiently.
Finally, he nodded. "Okay," he said. "Deal." He extended his hand.
How nice. Just what he wanted. A semblance of control over something. Better yet, it's a someone. In addition to that, he can finally get back on track thanks to the little bottle in his hand.
Sunoo smiled and shook Sunghoon's hand. "Deal."
And that was how it all began.
The day Sunoo set his whole life on fire with his own hands.
-
With bated breath, trembling hands and a racing heart, Sunoo slams the bathroom door shut, turning the lock behind him.
He walks up to the sink, holding onto the cold marble with a vice-like grip, eyes screwed shut. He takes in another shaky breath that makes his lungs constrict even further, his head pounding painfully. He swallows thickly, mouth dry, throat closing up. He opens his eyes, looking in the mirror to see if he looks as shitty as he feels.
He doesn't, but that isn't a surprise. He stands up straight, brushing back a stray lock of blond hair away from his face. Other than that, nothing is out of place. If only the same could be said for the inside.
The elegant wedding taking place outside the door is a grand affair, the hall filled to the brim with numerous people. He barely knows ten of them including his own family.
But it's too much for him, way too much. Every little sound is amplified by a tenfold, every brush of another person against him makes his skin crawl, every word said to him makes his mind a jumbled mess.
He can't take it anymore.
His shaking hands automatically make their way to his pocket, feeling the familiar shape of the small bottle. Sunoo clenches his fist around it, mentally weighing his options. Either endure this for at least another hour, or down his already shrinking supply.
He shakes his head. "No, no," he whispers to himself. But his heart is still pounding against his ribs and his head is on the verge of exploding.
It's the wedding of his dad's close friend's son. They arrived barely half an hour ago and Sunoo started feeling on edge not even ten minutes in. He never wanted to come in the first place. But no, no one ever fucking listens to him in that goddamn house.
Feeling a wave of familiar burning rage, he mutters a curse under his breath and pulls out the bottle. Flicking open the cap, he tilts it over his right hand. Two little white pills tumble out. Sunoo frowns, shaking the bottle again. But, with a sinking heart, he realizes that he's all out.
That all but worsens his state, heart picking up its pace even more. He throws his head back, swallowing down the pills dry. It's easy as breathing to him now, so they don't even stick to his throat uncomfortably.
This far on, two is close to nothing to calm him down. He paces around the bathroom with his hands on his hips, resisting the urge to kick something over or bang his head against the wall. It's only a matter of time before someone comes to the bathroom, or his parents or sister realize he's disappeared.
He waits five more minutes for the pills to take effect, but it doesn't seem to be working. He can't go out like this. His family will never forgive him if he causes a scene in front of this many people. And he's very likely to do that.
Sunoo winces when he realizes he'd been biting down on his lower lip again, tasting blood in his mouth. He tsks and runs a finger over it to wipe away the blood.
Looks like he has no other choice.
He pulls out his phone, unlocking it. His fingers find their way to an unnamed contact. He types in several texts, shaking fingers making a few typos along the way. He brings his thumb up to his lips, gnawing on his nail, waiting for him to see the texts.
A few minutes later, two small check marks indicate that he's seen it. But he gets no reply. "That fucking-" Sunoo clenches his jaw, sending out at least ten more texts.
When all he gets is the little check marks again, he furiously presses the call icon, bringing the phone up to his ear. He begins pacing around again, unable to stay in one place. "Pick up, pick up, pick up."
Getting no answer, he calls him again a second time. "Come on, pick up," he mutters, almost peeling the skin off his lip again.
Finally, after the sixth ring, he picks up.
"What?"
Sunoo would've sagged in relief if he wasn't so pissed off and on edge. "Why the hell won't you answer? I've been trying to reach you for ten minutes," he asks, trying to keep his voice down, even though it's pretty difficult to do so.
"Just tell me what you want, Sunoo."
Sunoo sucks in a breath that makes his chest ache in protest. "I ran out. And I'm at a wedding right now. I'll send you the location. Get me more. Now."
A low, bitter laugh comes through. "You think I don't have other things to take care of?"
Sunoo's grip on the phone tightens, the edges digging into his hand. "We have a deal, do you forget that? I ask, you deliver. Just bring them, I'm losing my shit here," he spits.
"Go ahead then. I'm busy, call me later."
"No!," yells Sunoo, immediately putting a hand over his mouth after. He sinks to the ground, hoping no one heard him. "Just-Just this once, Sunghoon," he says, lowering his voice. "Please?"
Sunghoon sighs, silence following after. Sunoo waits, darting his tongue over his dry lips.
"Fine, but I want twice than what you usually pay then."
Sunoo expels a relieved exhale, feeling some of the tension leave his body. "Whatever you want. Just get here fast," he says.
"I have to make a run to Jay's first to get the stuff. Give me twenty minutes."
"That's too long," Sunoo hisses.
"Too bad, baby. Gotta go."
Before Sunoo can get a word in, the call cuts. He resits the tempting urge to fling the phone to the wall and instead stands up, shoving it in his pocket after sending Sunghoon the adress. He takes another look in the mirror, making sure he looks okay, and walks over to the door.
He unlocks it, stepping out into the bustling wedding hall. The pills in his system do ease his throbbing headache, but his nerves are still on the edge of going haywire. If he could, he'd chug down the champagne he sees sitting on the tables nearby just to take the edge off. But, for the sake of his and his family's flawless reputation, he stifles the urge.
He sees his mother and sister sat at a table some distance away, and his father conversing with some people near the altar. He takes in a deep breath and walks over to the table.
"Oh, Sunoo, where have you been?," asks his mom, a look in her eyes that's bordering on warning, yet her tone masks her real feelings, appearing concerned.
Sunoo plasters on a practiced smile, taking a seat across her and his sister. He shakes his head, waving a hand. "The line was long," he lies.
His sister, Sooyoung, raises an eyebrow. "I didn't see anyone head there," she says.
"Why were you looking?," he retorts.
"Kids," his mom interrupts discreetly, a hand on Sooyoung's arm.
Sunoo rolls his eyes while Sooyoung just sighs, leaning back in her seat. His mom gets engrossed in a conversation with his aunts and his sister walks away to chat with their cousins.
Sunoo sees this as an opportunity to dig out his phone. It's only been ten minutes, but he still texts Sunghoon to tell him to hurry up. He keeps on bouncing his leg up and down, making his mom send him a pointed look.
"Did you hear about Miyoung's son? He's been completely out of control since he went to college. Alcohol, drugs, you name it," says one of his aunts.
His mom makes a surprised sound and shakes her head. "Goodness. This is why it's important to keep an eye on your kids. If he was my son, I'd teach him a lesson of a lifetime."
Sunoo gulps, suddenly feeling the pill bottle press against his leg. He shifts, putting a hand over it instinctively.
"Oh no, Sunoo is a great kid," says his aunt. "He's friendly, he studies well and above that, he's so handsome too. I wish mine was more like him. You're very lucky," she adds, sending a good natured smile his way.
Sunoo tries to return it, but it looks more like a grimace. "It's all thanks to my parents. They raised me so well," he says with a little laugh. The words taste bitter in his mouth, but at least they make his mom smile satisfactorily.
After fifteen more excruciating minutes, his phone finally buzzes in his pocket. He stands up and says, "I'm gonna go to dad for a minute."
He doesn't raise any suspicions, thankfully, and sneakily makes his way out. He has to walk a few steps away from the hall. Sure enough, he sees Sunghoon leant against the wall in the near distance.
"You're five minutes late," he says, stepping up next to him.
Sunghoon looks over at him, a half smile on his lips. "I'm not someone who has loads free time on my hands. You know that," he says.
"How's that my problem?," asks Sunoo, raising an eyebrow. "Deal's a deal. Hand it over," he says, extending his palm.
"The things I do for you," Sunghoon mutters with a shake of his head. He reaches into his pocket, pulling out the pill bottle. But just as Sunoo reaches for it, he holds it out of reach with a smirk.
"I'm so not in the mood right now," he sighs, rolling his eyes.
"I just got you one less than two weeks ago," Sunghoon says. "What's got you feeling so restless?," he asks, titling his head.
"Why do you care?," Sunoo asks, looking away.
"I really don't," Sunghoon says with a little laugh. "Whatever it is, keep it up. It's good for business," he says, handing it over.
"Asshole," Sunoo mumbles, opening it up right away and downing three at once.
Sunghoon tsks, watching him with a feigned pitiful frown. "The great Kim Sunoo is a total addict," he says. "This is a sight anyone would kill to see."
"Shut it," mutters Sunoo, shoving the bottle in his pocket.
"How long has it been, huh? Two months? Three? You're worse than actual junkies I've been seeing for years."
"Finals are just around the corner. The pressure is too much for me. I can barely get Ni-ki to talk to me and my sister's been getting on my last nerve these days," rambles Sunoo. "Why won't you get me the stronger stuff?"
"As much as I love your money, Sunoo, I'm not gonna be the one responsible for you overdosing or some shit like that," he states. "Who else is gonna pay me so well?," he asks, grinning.
Sunoo scoffs, a warring retort dying on his tongue when he glances at him. "Don't take this as a thank you or something, but I really needed this right now," he says, taking himself by surprise at his truthful words.
"I'll take that as a thank you."
"Jerk." Sunoo turns around to begin walking back, but Sunghoon's hand around his wrist stops him.
"Aren't you forgetting something?," he asks, looking at him pointedly.
"I don't have any money on me right now," he admits.
Sunghoon groans, exasperated, a hand over his face. "You made me come all the way here for nothing?"
"Relax. I'll give it to you tomorrow," Sunoo says.
Sunghoon rolls his eyes in annoyance, but doesn't question him about it any further. It's not something out of the ordinary for Sunoo to pay him later than he should. "You said this is a wedding?," he asks instead.
Sunoo hums in affirmation.
Without any warning, Sunghoon tugs him forward. He reaches up to adjust Sunoo's collars, then undoes the top button of his shirt. "Loosen up a bit, will you? You look like you're at a funeral," he says with a laugh.
"Feels like it," Sunoo says, trying to look unaffected when Sunghoon's knuckles brush against his neck for a second.
"Don't be dramatic," Sunghoon says, patting his shoulders. "Now smile."
Sunoo sighs, looking to the side. "Sunghoon-"
"Smile," he persuades, only relenting when the corners of Sunoo's lips tug up a bit. "Good," he says with a smile of his own. "See you tomorrow, don't forget the payment."
Sunoo tells him he won't. For some reason that leaves him confused, his feet don't make a move until Sunghoon turns a corner, walking away out of sight. "Get it together, Sunoo," he mutters to himself, walking back inside the hall.
What they have is a mutually beneficial deal. It'll be better for both of them to make sure it stays that way, Sunoo reminds himself.
It's no secret that he likes to pull people's strings, it's immensely amusing to see Sunghoon drop everything and rush over at his every beck and call. He doesn't plan on releasing his hold on him anytime soon. This is his game, he controls it fully. The little push and pull they have going on doesn't mean anything to him. Kim Sunoo doesn't do feelings. He's not ready to be tied down to anyone. He doesn't belong to anyone.
He brings his hand up to his neck, feeling the patch of skin Sunghoon brushed against somewhat tingle. He shakes his head, snapping himself out of such outlandish thoughts, the meaning of which makes him want to smack some sense into himself.
There's only one person he allows himself to be attracted to. And that is Ni-ki. He's the one he wants. That's who he should be thinking about.
But, at the end of the day, Sunoo's biggest and only enemy is his own self.
Without a shadow of a doubt, he tells himself that Sunghoon is no one to him. He's just his source of pills. Additionally, someone he can push away or pull closer whenever he pleases, knowing the other boy has no other choice but to comply. Some sort of a stress reliever, if you will.
But something is slowly beginning to change. And he doesn't like it. Not one bit. He needs to stop it before it turns into something he doesn't want.
A confused and frustrated Sunoo is a mean, unpredictable, cruel Sunoo. As much of a mess his mind is, one thing is for sure.
Something wicked this way comes.