Chapter Text
The walk back from the docks to the tavern took mere minutes normally, but after leaving Killian to attend to his crew and make final preparations for his journey it took Emma much longer. She drifted, moving from one side of the street to the other, in a daze. Her hands trembled slightly, not because she was crying though. Worried. Scared. Confused. Any of those words could be used to describe what she was feeling.
Her shoulders sagged. Killian was leaving, not because he wanted to, but because he had to. His crew was restless, he was restless. She ran her fingers through her hair. She was worried that he wouldn’t return. Sure he said he had every intention of coming back, but what if something happened to take him away from her? Which is also why she was scared. She loved him, there was no denying that now, and she was scared to lose that feeling. It felt like she was living for the first time since Henry and the idea that she could lose it… She shook her head softly and that is what confused her. They had known each other for only two weeks, such a short amount of time, and her feelings should scare her. They should make her want to run, but she didn’t. Well, maybe she did want to run. She wanted to run straight into his arms and never leave them.
Placing her palm on the hard wood of the tavern’s door, she pushed gently until it opened. The tavern was gloriously empty, likely due to the late hour of her return, but Ruby was still up, wiping down some of the tables. Emma shut the door behind her, before she leaned against it and exhaled. He was leaving and she didn’t know what to do.
“Hey.” Ruby’s voice rang out through the empty tavern causing Emma to turn her gaze to her friend. “Is something the matter, Emma?”
Pulling herself away from the door, she slowly walked over and sat at the table Ruby was wiping down. Ruby stared at her for a moment, inquisitively before taking a seat across from her.
“Emma...talk to me.” Ruby begged while Emma covered her face in her hands. “Emma Swan! You are making me worried! What happened? When you left you were excited, ecstatic even. Now, you are all silent and mor…”
“He’s leaving.” Emma’s voice was barely a whisper in the empty room.
Ruby stared at her, her wide eyes stared intently into Emma’s own, begging her to elaborate. Emma sat her hands flat on the table and sighed.
“He said he was coming back, but he is still leaving and... and … oh, Ruby I don’t know what to do.”
Ruby smiled, shaking her head. “Emma what is your heart telling you?”
That was the problem, her heart was telling her to turn around and run back onto his ship, to run back to him. Which was crazy. Right? It was insane that she was so willing to give up everything she had here, to leave the only family she’d ever known, to leave Henry, and be with this man and his son. This was all happening too fast and her head spun as she tried to keep up.
“I..I don’t know, Ruby. My heart and head are pulling me in different directions.” She leaned over and lightly banged her head against the wet wood of the table.
“Emma, Emma, Emma.” Ruby patted her head softly. “You know, you just don’t think you do.”
Resting her chin on her folded hands, Emma raised an eyebrow in her friend’s direction. “What do you mean I know?”
If she knew then she wouldn’t be sitting here in this tavern trying to figure it out, she wouldn’t feel like pulling her hair out in frustration.
“Emma Swan, I have known you since we were both very young. I have been with you through everything, through Baelfire, through Henry. I watched as you withdrew and was helpless to stop it.” Ruby stood, walked to the other side of the table and sat next to Emma. “Since meeting that little boy, since meeting his father, there is this lightness to you that I haven’t seen in sometime. You know what to do and please, don’t feel guilty for wanting it.” Ruby reached up and placed her hand lightly over Emma’s. “Granny and I understand and we want this for you. We want you to be happy.”
Tears formed in Emma’s eyes and she hastily wiped them away. This was her best friend, her sister, and she was telling her to follow her heart. Ruby knew her better than anyone really. It made sense for her to know what she wanted even when she couldn’t figure it out. Emma turned and pulled Ruby into a hug.
“Are you sure? I can stay. You’re my family Ruby.” Emma whispered into her friend’s hair. She felt Ruby shaking her head in response.
“And now you will have a family of your own.” Ruby pulled away and patted Emma’s hair into place. “Be happy Emma. It’s what you deserve. It’s what Henry would want for you.”
Emma nodded her head as Ruby rose from her seat next to her. She watched as Ruby made her way up the stairs to her room.
It’s what Henry would have wanted for you.
Ruby’s words echoed in her head over and over. That was what was keeping her here. This town was her last tie to her son, to Henry, and she didn’t know if she was ready to give that up. Henry’s wide brown eyes came to her mind and she remembered how they were always full of mirth, of happiness. His giggle could light up a room, and it did often enough. She looked around the main hall of the tavern and recalled how he used to play in the corner while she was working, how he would follow her and help her deliver meals to the patrons, how he used to sneak behind the bar and steal bits of the candy Granny left there.
Leaving here meant leaving all of those memories behind. Emma shook her head. No, she was wrong. Those memories would always be with her. Henry would never truly leave her, not really.
Neither would her family, Ruby and Granny. Their love would always be with her, always supporting her when she needed it. Knowing them had changed her life in so many ways, they had made her into the woman she was now. They had made her better, stronger, and it was finally time for her show them that all of their love had paid off, that she was capable of following her heart, that she was capable of moving on.
Standing quickly, Emma made her way to her own room. She couldn’t wait until the morning. If she was going to do this, she needed to do it now before she overthought things. Once in her room, she quickly packed up her very few belongings. She grabbed the drawing on her table and placed it gently in her bag. It’s what Henry would have wanted for you.
Ruby’s words surfaced in her mind again, the truth of them ringing through her ears. Abandoning her bag, she walked to the corner of her room where Henry’s stuff was kept. Kneeling, she pulled the patchwork quilt off of his cot and clenched it to her chest. It was time, time for her to let go, to move on with her life and she wanted to do that with Killian and Liam. She knew Liam would never replace the son she lost, no one would, but he helped ease the ache in her heart. Meeting him had opened her up to the possibility of letting go. It showed her that is was okay to want something again.
Ruby was right, Henry would have wanted this for her.
Still clenching the blanket to her chest, Emma rose and returned to her bag. Gently she folded the blanket and placed it on top before tying the laces up. Hopefully Killian wanted this as much as she did, hopefully he wanted her.
Without looking back, Emma exited her room. She wanted to say goodbye to Ruby and Granny before she left. Then, she had a pirate to find.
It was black outside by the time Emma finally made it to the Jolly Roger. Leaving her bag on the docks, she couldn’t help the frown that marred her face as she walked up the gangplank. She had been so confident in what she wanted, she hadn’t really stopped to think about how Killian would react. What if he didn’t want her to come? Here she was, inviting herself onto his ship, and she had no idea if that was something he was okay with.
The deck was empty of all the activity she witnessed earlier and, as usual, Liam and Killian were running around the deck playing. Unlike the first time she came to the ship, Killian noticed her first. His eyes widened in shock and confusion, before finally filling with amusement. She shifted from one foot to the next, biting her lip. Maybe she should just wait and see how all of this played out before she told him her plan.
She took a step forward and Killian held his hand up, telling her to stay put. He tilted his head on Liam’s direction and she smiled catching onto his game. He turned from Liam and began walking toward her with his hand and hook up. As soon as Liam noticed his father had changed his target, he toddled across the deck as fast as he could and grabbed Emma by the arms, pulling her away from Killian.
The laugh that escaped her throat was bubbly, full of happiness. This was where she was meant to be- she had never been more sure of it.
Killian eventually caught them both - he always did- and tickled Liam as a reward. Her reward? A kiss.
“Back so soon, love?” He placed Liam on his hip, eyes full of questions.
She almost told him right then, but she didn’t want Liam to get upset if Killian had a different response than she hoped he would. She hated the idea of hurting the boy.
“I missed you and thought we could spend some more time together.” Her hands twisted nervously in her dress.
A full smile broke out on his face, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “That, m’lady sound like a splendid plan. What do you and my wee pirate say about a snack.?”
Liam wiggled in his father’s arm. “Aye, papa! Snack! Snack.”
Emma’s heart filled with warmth as she raised her hand to pat Liam’s hair.
“I think you have your answer, Captain.” Her eyes lit with happiness.
After their snack, Killian thought it was a great idea to look at the stars before bed. They laid on the deck right behind the helm. It was very much reminiscent of her first night, her first night aboard the Jolly Roger. The only difference this time was that she laid in Killian’s arms - her head on his chest. Liam was curled against her chest - sleeping.
“What do you say we get this wee lad into his quarters. Then, you and I can spend some time together?”
She nodded in response to his question. They needed to talk, she’d put it off long enough. Killian rose and attempted to pull Liam into his arms. Liam, even half asleep, gripped her even tighter. His actions made Emma smile and she placed a light kiss into his hair.
Killian tried to pull Liam from her arms again and Liam - again- buried further into her chest. His little eyes opened slightly and met Killian’s.
“No, papa.” his voice was riddled with sleep. “Want mama.”
Emma’s head jerked up to meet Killian’s eyes as Liam snuggled back in. He stared at her in disbelief.
Mama. That’s what he called her. All of her doubts about Killian’s reaction left as she gazed into his eyes. He wanted this, she wanted this, and most of all Liam did too. Her heart was fluttering in her chest. It had been so long since she’d been called mama. Just hearing it again healed a part of her that was broken.
“Stay with us.” His voice was so soft she almost didn’t hear it. She could feel how nervous he was. She heard it in his voice.
“Killian…”
“I know this is fast, Emma, but it’s you.” He interrupted before she could finish. “Since the moment I met you… I knew that my happy ending was you. I can no longer imagine my life without you in it and, it seems, Liam cannot either. Stay with us, please.”
She only hesitated for a moment. She wanted this too. Wanted to be a family with this man and his boy. She had never felt like something was so right in all her life. Yes, she knew it was fast. She also knew that this was where she was meant to be.
“Yes, Killian. Yes. I’ll stay with you and Liam. That’s why I came here tonight. To tell you that I wanted to go with you. There is no place I would rather be.” Her voice was confident and held no indication that she was second guessing.
His lips were on hers a moment later. Liam still between them. His hand came up to cup her cheek and she leaned into it. When the kiss broke, they smiled to one another. His arm came back around her waist and pulled her and his -their- son back into his side.
They could figure out all of the details tomorrow. Right now, she just wanted to relax in the arms of the man she loved while holding their son.
Tonight, she wanted to enjoy her family.